JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Color Her Naughty (collab. with Janice Hopkins)

Hi everyone

Janice seems to be determined to get me up tempo.

Let us know what you think before this one goes to a proper recording.



Color Her Naughty, Color Her Nice © 2008 Janice Hopkins music 2009 Dinnell

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=740403&songID=7461657



That girl’s an enigma

Can’t figure her out

Just when I start thinkin’

I know what she’s about



She gets prim and proper

Starts messin’ my mind….most all of the time

Then she’ll get real sexy

Spins my heart on a dime…When she’s hardly tryin’



I’ve gotten used to both sides of her coin

If she was a club, I’d be the first one to join



So…



Color Her Naughty, Color Her Nice

She’s multi-layered, with sugar and spice

Takes me high places

Sometimes takes me twice

Has me facin’ the facts of real life

So….Color Her Naughty….yeah, then Color Her Nice…that’s right



She feels at home at

A lady’s high tea

But when we’re together

She takes it all out of me



I never quite know what

This man should expect…and that’s a sure bet

But something tells me

I haven’t seen it all yet….what can I expect



She makes my nights seem like Heaven on Earth

Gives me two pictures of what a good woman’s worth



So…..

Repeat Chorus:



Her love’s a rainbow with a new shade each time

Can’t wait when she shows me…and….let’s me…. Know… that… she’s… mine



So……Repeat Chorus……

This is a whole different side to you, kind of jazzy, bluesy. Nice!!! and naughty. LOL. The only small nit is the slight echo, it sounds like you are in a hall. I think a more intimate feel would work, good luck, and good stuff. Kimberly

Thanks Kimberly,

Too much reverb probably i'm always doing that. Glad you liked it.

Thanks for the listen

Andy

Andy
this is so cool ... very nice job
you do it so well ... great job my friend

we have to work on a tune sometime ... wow you have great talent
there is no style you can't do
Dan

Hi,

ha yes, very upbeat.
A good sound, although it seems a bit rushed to me.
Like maybe it should have just a bit more breathing room, if that makes sense.
Overall, a good song & it's nice to hear this side of you.
Thumbs up to both of ya !

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Dan,

Yes....I agree that Andy is a great, versatile talent. I was lucky to be able to team up with him on this one that has needed the music for quite awhile now.

You're going to hear alot more from him.

Thanks so much for listening and for your nice comments.

Jan

Janice
you certainly can write wonderful music
wow great great job

Dan

Thanks for the listen Calvin,

The intention is to add more instruments with the next recording and put in space for a couple of solo's. So hopefully that will help.

Andy

Thank you kindly Dan...for those nice words. I appreciate that and right back at ya' my friend.

Jan

Hi Andy (and Janice too).

Some very good things in that tune. I especially like the chorus.

I have a nit, though. I'd cut some "extra" words or lines at the end of almost every section. I have a general feeling of everything that counts being said in the first 4/5ths of the text (and so far it's very satisfying); and then something is added that is IMVHO unnecessary.

Just one quick thought after just one listening. I'll go back to it and if I change my mind I'll let you know.

Apart from this little nit, I think it's good work. I imagine it being sung in a pub, in front of an audience applauding and commenting the lines out loud. Maybe you could add this sort of sound atmosphere in your next recording. Just an idea.

Well done, both of you. Take care,

Yann.

Hi Yann,

Thanks for taking the time to listen.

The finished version will have a lot more space between the vocal when we add the other two, as yet secret, instruments that we hope will finish it off with an instrumental break or two.

Hopefully that will address the problemm of the lyric being a little crowded.

Again thanks for your time.

Andy

Jan & Andy:

Great hook and concept for this song. I really like the lyrics, especially:

Takes me high places
Sometimes takes me twice

Excellent!

I liked the music, but I'm not sure it was a great match for the lyrics. Everything felt a little rushed and crowded to me. And the music had an old fashioned feel to it, which could limit its marketability (except, maybe, for movies.) Jan, I know you've been pitching songs, so I know you're looking for honest impressions. Of course, it may sound completely different with a full production.

Mark

I thought it was Big Jim singing at first! Definitely a different approach for you and you pulled it off very well. Lyrics work for me, too.

A few people above mentioned the "crowded feel" of the words and I think this is something you will have to work on quite a bit. You can slow it down, change the singing rhythm, cut words, try all sorts of stuff. It sounds to me like you are working too hard to get all the syllables squeezed into the space that you have provided for them (if that makes any sense).

I enjoyed the tune and singing.

Kevin

Hi Andy & Janice,

I think you have a new reputation, Mr. Uptempo! It's positively giddy! I really like the lyrics, clever and just a little "naughty". I agree that a few words could be trimmed to make it more singable. I like the music too but it's a bit more like a show tune than anything else. Is this what you were going for? Can't wait to hear the "secret instruments". Please post the update. Nice joint effort!

Ricki

Hey guys:

Love this - Andy's doing show tunes!

Agree with some of the others about rushing. But I think it's close to finding its groove.

Couple of things I'm not sure about:

Enigma is the right word but it doesn't seem to sing too well to me.

I thought "multi-layered" sounded a little clinical when I read it but it sings well. But maybe something else could work a little better. If you used something like

Color Her Naughty, Color Her Nice
She’s a BLANK-BLANK hottie, with sugar and spice

(where you'd have to fill the blanks with something good) you could have an internal rhyme.

Or go with it as is - it works OK.

Nice job to both of you - would love to hear the final version.

Scott

Mark Kevin Ricki Scott

Thanks for the listens and the input.

Everyone sems to have the same point on the crowde feel i'll talk it over with Jan and see what can be done.

Was really fun to do, very different style for me so probably needs some polish.

Andy

Hi ANdy and Janice,

Well you're having fun of late!

If I was to guess what you were listening to, to influence this performance...I'd say Wayne Newton, the honorary Rat Packer...all enthusiasm and swingin' caberet lungs.

Your enthusiasm makes the difference...

******************

Janice,

you certainly crank out fun tunes that look effortless, and sing easy!

you're on a roll, and on the "on a roll" honor roll as well

best wishes,

Mike

Mike

Thanks for the listen, although never mind this! How good is that vocal on 'Whats Next'

you bearded genius you

Andy

Kevin,

Thanks very much for the good words on this one. We're glad that you got the fun in it.

Effortless? Well, I don't know about that, but I'm glad that it at least sounds that way to at least one set of good ears.

Thanks Kevin,

Jan