JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum REWORK: Bottle Whatcha Got (Rob L and KimberlyInNC Collab)

Hi,

Wow .. I really LOVE the change to the baseline ... it puts me in a dance trance! The verses to me sound great in this version. Much better "rapper dude" voice this time around

I would like to hear a little more energy in the chorus ... maybe some added percussion, or a vocal harmony an octive higher, or maybe some more killer techno keyboard sounds. IMO.

It is a very fun and catchy song.
Papa G

Question: This mix is much better quality than the old one on soundclick. Is it because of the different type of mp3 player?

Can't add anything to this...it's great...good music, lyrics, can see folks down on the floor dancing..not me, i'd for sure throw a hip outta place,but can see my kids, grand kids dancing to it..now in my younger day, I could see me sliding all over the floor...it's good...glyn

Yo! Is that the word :-)

This was very catchy, and nicely done. I liked it, even if this is not my kind of music, but the hook is so strong it just lifted me out of my preferences!

Its so fun to have diversity in music reperesented on these boards, and especially when its done so well as this. While listening I thought I heard Trace Adkins sing this, but if not I think its the kind of song that could work as a crossover song, introducing dance into another genre like country/ a film track, or to people who not usually listens to dance music.

Hi again !

Cool job, sounds nice.
Very hip-notic !

this is a great line...........
Come on, let's bounce somewhere

Thanks for the listen.
Have fun !

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hi Rob and Kim

Great changes and it's ReaLLy working for me Now !! Great job on the vocals way catchy music and subject guys - I think you got a winner ! jm

Hey guys, I'm loving the rewrite, more to offer than the first. Even with some words I'm not sure of without hearing it, it works for me. I do think the bridge could be a bit stronger,

This is what you have, and it's fine as is, but could be better, imo...

BRIDGE:
Don't stop now, keep it goin'
A body like yours is made for showin'

first two lines are the strongest, i think, but could use an edit)

Bump and grind it a little longer

("bump and grind" is a little lame, maybe just use grind?)

My desire's growin' stronger

("desire" and the target age isn't really working here, imo)

my suggs...(just suggs)
Girl,
don't stop what you got goin'
That body's made for showin'
Grind me down a little longer

and I got nothing for the last line, sorry, that was less than helpful...

Layered sound - nice. Rich and right sounding. The lyrics are good - really work with the music. The effects are just right - not too much but enough to fit with the music. The tone of the vocals are rich and warm.

Tom

Michael, Since this is Robs main post I will let him repond to the music part. Thank you though for your opinion and great help on this song. Kimberly:)

Thank you Ricki! You got it going on!We will definatly take that for a good critique! Kim

Beth, to hear you would want to dance to it, it enough for me!! thanks for taking time to listen again- Kim

Hi Stan- First the surely was on the old song, it has been changed to Shawty, and changed the entire line...:)
The females word is one I use because it is showing from a "young" point of view, the AA crowd use the word Females alot, and since they are jealous, I felt it fit better than saying girls or ladies..:) Thanks for taking a look! The habit forming thing may just work, thanks again.. Kim:)

Papa. I will let Rob speak more about the music, as far as the part about it puts me in a dance trance! We can not ask for more than that! thank you!!! Kim:)

Glynda, i'd for sure throw a hip outta place,but can see my kids, grand kids dancing to it..now in my younger day, I could see me sliding all over the floor...it's good...glyn You could dance a little bit to it, you would not throw out anything!! Thanks for listening a 2nd time and for your imput. Kim:)

Songcabnet. Wow. thank you and I am glad you found it entertaining!! I could not imagine trace Atkins on it, but ya never know...:) country folk can enjoy dance music too, I know I do. thanks for your time. Kim:)

Calvin-Very hip-notic !

this is a great line...........
Come on, let's bounce somewhere
HIP notic...funny!! Glad you liked it calvin!! Cool of you to listen! Kim

Joice- I hope you are right about it being a winner. we have worked hard on it. 6 re-writes and 3 music/vocals so far...:-) Thanks for listening!! Kim

Caroline, thank you for commenting and your suggies on the bridge... I think Rob said he was unsure about the bridge.. we may have to re-word and re-work it. thanks for your time!! Kim

Tom- I can not be more pleased that someone of your talent likes this. Everyone on here with such talent to enjoy this little song means a great deal to me!! Thank you! Kim

Rob/Kimberly:

I was a Beta listener on some of the earlier versions of this. It's coming along pretty nicely. I think it sounds better with the heavy bass. What does Shawty mean? I probably need to know that since my kid is in middle-school now.

PapaG,

I'm stoked that you like the new bass line. I thought it brought yet another hook to the song. I'm also glad you think the vocals took a step forward as well. I'm still not comfortable with them, but as long as we're making progress, that's good. Thanks for your thoughts on how to improve the chorus. We'll definitely take them into account.

As far as the sound quality of the MP3s, I upload the same one to both my website and to SoundClick. And yes, I've noticed a sound quality difference as well. So I assume SoundClick must do something with it that deteriorates the sound quality... not sure what, because I believe my MP3s are not above their requirements.

Thanks again.

Glynda,

Thanks for stopping by to listen again, and for the positive comments. They're very much appreciated.

SongCabinet,

Your comments made my day, thanks. I'm glad you like the song. In some ways, I suspect any dance/hip-hop song I write the music for would have to be crossover, only because neither are really genres I feel that comfortable in, or listen too that much. So if I like it, it's probably already halfway across the bridge. Of course that might also limit its potential for true hip-hop/dance fans, but that's yet to be seen. Kim likes it, and we've had a few positive comments from those types of artists as well. Maybe that bodes well. Again, thanks for your thoughts.

Calvin and Joice Marie,

Thanks for stopping in to listen and comment once again. I'm happy you both like it, and JM that's great that you think this version is an improvement over the last one.

Hi Caroline,

Thanks for checking in. I've been letting Kim take the lead on the lyrics because I'm way out of my element in that regard. But we'll definitely discuss your thoughts for improvement on the bridge. Thanks for your suggestions!

Hey Tom,

Thanks for your kind thoughts on the song's production. I'm glad you think it works for this one. Much appreciated.

Wendy D--- Shawty is a term that means your girl, since most girls are shorter than men, the guys call them shorty...but pronounce is Shawty... it is used more in hip hop style and perhaps more often in the black community...:) Hope that answers your questions. any others about the other words, let me know.. I am a white gal, but my sons who are 21 and 24 introduced me to lots of music with these words in them..:) Kim

ROB-I'm not sure what "shawty" means. Maybe a vertically impaired person from Boston?
VERY funny! Kim...If you wanted to know what the slang meant you should have asked me...LOL

Hi Rob and Kim,

It's nice to listen to a different genre on this board! Kudos.

My NOVICE impressions (mostly limited to the music and arrangement, and please remember, these are just my opinions. You've probly thought of these already for the final version!):


Composition/Arrangement:

Perhaps certain sections of the song could be further emphasised by:

(a) the bass line: It's nice and active (good for dance songs!), but is perhaps a little distracting from the drums at times and runs continuously for the entire song except maybe in the bridge. I'd try taking it out after the first twelve bars and reintroduce later either in the first chorus, or in the second verse. The bass line and drums give me more of a house feel, than hip hop. Oh, and I know not all songs need to do this, but I listened to NeYo's Closer and noticed how he steadily increases the layers until it totally grooves in the chorus. You have done this as well, to a degree.
(b) pads: i've noticed you layer them in the bridge, perhaps layering them during the chorus as well? I realise it's not appropriate for the entire song, but in certain parts, you could try the 'die another day' gating effect (choppy and rhythmic) to add a rhythmic element other than the percussion.
(c) vox: background vocals (eg. hot hot) and more harmony for the chorus would help beef it up. Bridge vocals could be stronger but I like what you did melody-wise. Overall great work; i know I can't rap half as well!
(d) sitar-synth? and keys: ha, sorta reminded me of silence by delirium ft sarah mclachlan, one of my fave songs! I like the variation in the bridge; instead of centering it (or is it a little to the right?), have you considered panning a little to the left and right, but alternating the notes, or adding another instrument in a lower register to add some weight to the staccato notes?


Mix/Production:

Very clean production.
Vocals sit well in the mix, but may be further forward a little maybe.
Instruments are generally well sonically separated.
Bass level is good on headphones but not sure how it will work in the club.
Pads might be a tad loud in the mix during the verses.
As mentioned by other people, the vocal effects and panning add variety to the mix.
Very well done! Certainly puts my mixes to shame.

Cheers and looking forward to the next mix,
Rich.