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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Hope you can see through the piano only....what genre(s) do you hear this as? ...Any critical thoughts on this worktape or lyrics appreciated... Male Vocal Demo needed.... First Song http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=8404&content=musicWay Overdue (c)2008...Kaley Willow Male Vocals........... Forcast is calling for more ice...and snow The roads are slick....better stay at home (Hey)Weatherman...I thank you for this advice Just what I wanted to hear tonight I'll throw a log on...and pour some wine Take off your heels, girl ..leave your work behind It's been too long since it's been just me and you And ...I think we're way overdue Way overdue for back rubbings... And lots of gentle touchings And I wanna make you smiles...... All night through... Way overdue for kissing... Every bit of you I'm missing And I'm wishing this storm would last a week or two The (blanket's)calling as the fire glows A night to savor......We'll take it sweet and slow There's no where else I'd rather be than with you And...I think we're way over due Way overdue for back rubbings... And lots of gentle touchings And I wanna make you smiles...... All night through... Way overdue for kissing... Every bit of you I'm missing And I'm wishing this storm would last a week or two Outside it's freezing...but inside who'd know Cause we're both feeling anything but cold Weatherman whip us up...more wintery news Cause I know... we're way over due...... Girl we're way over due........ First Song http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=8404&content=music
Last edited by Kaley Willow; 01/07/09 06:12 PM.
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Sounds like a classic - Kaley. I love it.  I was able to sing along with it the whole way. The chorus is bouncy! Gotta get this recorded! Don't know if I have any sugs. Maybe replacing: "And I wanna make you smiles......" with "And I wanna give you lovin'... " would make a close near-rhyme with "rubbings" and "touching" and give it even a little more impact. Can't wait to hear this! Scott
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Hi Kaley, I've been meaning to get to this one couldn't until now. But GLAD I did. I mean, what's not to like about a Kaley melody. Like Scott just said...this has a CLASSIC sound. you ask what genre...Sophisticated Cool ! Thank yo for sharing this lovely piece & have a beautiful day. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Sounds like a classic - Kaley. I love it. I was able to sing along with it the whole way. The chorus is bouncy! Gotta get this recorded! Don't know if I have any sugs. Maybe replacing: "And I wanna make you smiles......" with "And I wanna give you lovin'... " would make a close near-rhyme with "rubbings" and "touching" and give it even a little more impact. Can't wait to hear this! Scott Thank you Scott..... We've had a lot of ice and snow  Glad you liked!!....After I get a few spots worked out...was thinking maybe this is one...Mike (Sub) would do up the demo on this very nicely. Not sure if he's feeling up to it or not...but...It's in the back of my mind...he'd do this well. That smiles line...just might not be working like I hoped.... on the lyrics board...Wy thought it was a typo.....so...yeah.. I need to think on that for sure.. Thanks so much Scott...for taking the listen and glad you liked what you heard!!... best... H, Kaley
Last edited by Kaley Willow; 12/15/08 01:35 PM.
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Beautiful, nice laid back romantic feel. People should relate to this with the winter we are having.
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Hi Kaley, I've been meaning to get to this one couldn't until now. But GLAD I did. I mean, what's not to like about a Kaley melody. Like Scott just said...this has a CLASSIC sound. you ask what genre...Sophisticated Cool ! Thank yo for sharing this lovely piece & have a beautiful day. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart Ok...sophisticated cool....CAN'T FIND IT!!!! ...thanks Cal....was hoping this could go from adult contemporary to maybe a jazz version...but I really don't know that stuff. Glad you liked...Glad you listened..and thanks...very much!!... hugs, kk
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Beautiful, nice laid back romantic feel. People should relate to this with the winter we are having. Hi Everett!!!!... thank you!... I'm glad it struck you like that.....and appreciate you telling me.... I still have some questions in my mind on spots...but...am glad to know overall it is working...and that you liked this.... very best to you...this mornin' Kaley
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Kaley, I really like this. I agree with Everett, a nice, romantic feel to it!
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Thanks Gal..... Appreciate the look and listen!! and glad it came across that way........You take good care...and hope your little nephew is totally on the mend.... best... Kaley
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Very nice. I can follow the lyrics very easily with the music. This seems like a sign of well crafted song to me. The music paints a very warm mood and the lyrics just flow quite naturally with the music.
Tom
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Hi Kaley,
Rubbing, touching and lovin', oh my!!! I'm all for that! Great feel to the music and it suits the lyrics nicely. We had well below wind chills and lots of snow so, 'tis the season to get warm any way you can!
Ricki
Last edited by Ricki E. Bellos; 12/16/08 12:39 AM.
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Love it, you oughta get Scott to sing it, he'd be perfect
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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A warm romantic lyric (I can almost feel the fire) and you kept the lyrics just discreet enough so it could fall into that "classic" genre. The song can go this way w/him talking to the girl where you have "kick off your heels" or it could also be less direct there and it would still work. What I mean is: You have: I'll throw a log on...and pour some wine Take off your heels, girl ..leave your work behind It's been too long since it's been just me and you And ...I think we're way overdue A possibility: I'll throw a log on...and pour some wine We'll kick our shoes off, leave the day/our cares behind Also in first verse you have: Forcast is calling for more ice...and snow The roads are slick....better stay at home (Hey)Weatherman...I thank you for this advice Just what I wanted to hear tonight Didn't know if this worked better: Forecast is calling for more ice and snow The roads are slick...it's best to stay at home The weatherman is giving sound/sage advice Just what I wanted to hear tonight Just some ideas Kaley. I think taking the "girl" word out of it makes it more classic but I could be wrong. I like it and I can't wait to hear it w/the male vocal, etc. Take care. Best, Lynn
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Kaley,
This is a wonderful "crooner" song and has a very special quality that creates a warmth in the soul.
I can see this done by a Harry Connick Jr. and placed in a romantic film.
The piano track is lovely too. I hope this one finds the perfect home it deserves. Well done!
Heidi
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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We love the piano playing and the mix is very good. Enjoyed this instrumental, hope to hear it with the lyrics someday. Merry Christmas IJenNeh
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Thank you Tom....Was tickled you enjoyed this!!....Thank you for telling me what you liked about it!!... Very best to you....!! Kaley
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Thanks Ricki... Yeah...I needed a change from waltzing elephants...  and farmland critters.... Thank you gal...Glad you liked this!!.... very best to you this morning!! Kaley
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Dear Louis.... ya know this was one of those...where my family said...it's "ok"... and I was really tentative for awhile ... about posting it. I'm thankful they don't say....they like what I write...but are pretty tough on me...but..I was STILL hoping it worked REGARDLESS ...thanks glad you liked !!!!.... I gotta go listen to everyone's voices....I love Scott's too... because it's so honest..and real....!!just trying to figure out which way to go on this one!... and gotta figure out that smiles line too...what to do with it. Best to you... h, Kaley
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Glad you speak up gal because you make me think!!... Thanks Lynn. I will definitely think about....the less direct line....I need to step 3 steps back....on this....and give it more thought!!...(the shoe line).... Now..I'm not sure...I'm caring for...sound or sage advice..because to me..., it starts sounding a bit more clinical.....? I think I like the more playful tone... of talking to the weatherman directly.....on that line.... To me, that's what makes this very common theme a bit less same old same old. and I've gone back and forth and back again on the best to stay at home line? ...I really have! I posted this...originally just as you have it...but I had better before that...and I think better feels less stilted and more natural there. Probably personal preference type of thing....but again, I like the tone better with that. Thank you very much for speaking up..... I appreciate you!!... best... Kaley
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Kaley,
This is just so beautiful. I have to admit that when I just read the lyrics, I said to myself that it could actually go country or pop. But then I heard your beautiful melody and now...this is my recommendation....pitch it to a broadway producer....that is a show tune. I can just see and hear that being done on live stage. That's where I'm at with it....so beautiful...would become a classic that way, IMHO.
Good luck with it...Jan
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Thank you Janice!!...I'm thrilled folks are enjoying this..... I wasn't sure when I posted it.....I liked it but....wasn't sure. I think that your direction and Heidi's.....are on track with my thinking. OFF Broadway would be wonderful too!!..... thanks Jan...for listening...the very best to you and your musical family!!... Hugs... Kaley
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Hi Kaley Just wanted to say that this comes across as something very special. It sings real well in my mind. Don't want to repeat all that has been said, but I think that you have another winner here. Very nice work. Best wishes for it. jm
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Kaley, I listened again and it holds up on repeat. It has real substance.
Tom
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Dear Joyce...thank you hon...I'm just tickled you guys think this works....
Big hugs...and thanks...for all you've done this year......Joyce...
Kaley
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Tom that is a lovely compliment...thank you for listening again.... !!!!.. very best to you this afternoon, Kaley
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Hey Kaley, It's so nice have you back in the "neighborhood". Your talent (and good taste !) have been missed... Aside from enjoying this song quite a bit, it was a real treat for me to try to match up lyrics to melody -- and you made it easy, thanks!! The music has a real throw-back sort of feel to me...something Bing Crosby might have sung (though a wee bit more risque than Bing ever was!) -- yet the lyrics modernize it, so that combination works well in my opinion. I also just love the idea for the song -- though in truth, I thought "Way Overdue" was about a woman in her 11th month of pregnancy (likely a residual effect of "Snippety Snip"!). And as an aside, it's fun to see the "Meteorologist" actually get some credit for a change. Right now, our guys are right on target: snowing snowing snowing! We might get up to a foot!! As for that "smiles" line, I don't know if you wanted to work with that long "i", sound, but if so, how about this: Way overdue for back rubbings... And lots of gentle touchings And I wanna HEAR YOU SIGH All night through... Anyway, I saw your mention of Sub perhaps working on this...excellent! Another great song in the making..... Thanks for sharing, Beth
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Hi Beth real quick...before I have to jump here...!!.... thanks so much for checking this out.....and glad you liked it... I was thinking a Bing Crosby style singer too... great! on the risque?...I don't know...I have a line in my mind...on what I will and won't write..(i know...I know.. call me weird )..and to me..this was very comfortable and natural loving between a couple..... Let me think on your line offering.....as I can see that would work there...!!... Yes...Sub said he would do this one....so I just need to save up so I can follow through on that!!.... I appreciate you looking, listening and thinking!!! hugs!!.. Kaley
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Hi Kaley,
This one is going to be very pretty. I will look forward to hearing it with the vocal.
I just want to tell you also, that I always enjoy your style of piano playing. You could also do just an instrumental relaxation cd, lol because it is so nice to hear.
Letha
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Letha!!...thank you so very much......!!...all the way around... I just apologize for not thanking you for your comments sooner... Thank you on the piano... Maybe someday I will do that... I just don't think of myself as a pianist..because of the way I play...but it really tickles me when someone thinks I should do that... Very best to you this evening... Downloaded that course....AND SOME DAY..... ... thank you again.... h, Kaley
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Yes, the song works. Nice feel to the music - gentle and intersting. I think this deserves a full demo.
Tom
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Holy cow! I might be new around here, but I know a good song when I hear it.
I can hear Toby Keith singing this on a country station during the holidays. Great, great lyrics and melody. Blows me away!
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Hm Showtune or Jazz. Either would work. Very romantic, KK.
Sis
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Hi Kaley Check out your soundclick, 5 STARS, and a comment. YIPEE! You are very talented.  Michele
Last edited by Michele Bolton; 01/06/09 01:30 AM.
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Hi Kaley,
I could follow this all the way through, like Scott. Only word that did'nt sung well was "Weatherman" - it was a syllable too long.
Really lovely song, I agree on the 'classic' perception. This is hot, and should be recorded while it's still cold outside :-)
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Hi Kaley,
Piano only works for me. Very heartfelt - nice job.
Has a nostalgic feel to it.
Best, John
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Dear.. Tom...Kevin...JeanB...Michele...Magne...and John... I normally do not do group thank yous....but I wanted to be sure to thank you without any more delay!!.... Tom...thanks!!...I'm hoping it deserves a demo too. Am saving up for that.....Appreciate you coming by a 2nd time... thanks Tom..Hope Justice is singing up a storm... Kevin..Niceto meet you and Welcome!!...It's neat folks are seeing multi-genres for this song...and I'm tickled you liked it!!...thanks Kevin....I'll be checking out more songs tomorrow and will see what you have posted. JeanB !...thanks gal...Lots of snow and ice on this end.... ya gotta write about it thanks on the genre nods.... I'm definitely genre deficient ...hugs to ya...hope all is well...out your way. Michele!...Thank you so much for leaving a comment!!..I'm really pleased you liked this...Awe..that was very thoughtful... Well I can honestly say...Michele...that if I am..it is a gift...because I never had given thought to be a writer...and one day woke up and started writing some poems..found JPF with help turned them into lyrics..and then started hearing melodies.... I'm glad you liked this!!!.. Magne...Howdi!! and welcome!!....Tickled you stopped by... I've been listening to your stone song..and need to get to your post tomorrow... I am saving for a demo on this...so..I think I'll be able to have it done while it's still cold On playing to the syllables? ...Most of the time when I play, my eyes are closed...but I'm working at opening them... Anyways.. because of that I always either add or subtract notes... try as I may.... so I totally agree...I hear it on that 2nd weatherman...too...thank you for pointing it out for me... Very nice to meet you!!... Hi John.. Thank you very much for listening to this..... I forgot to ask you if that was you playing on your song..... Thought yours was incredible piano.... I think this has a nostalgic feel to it...a take me back...type of vein maybe. Just so glad you liked what you heard...... Very best to you all...and thanks so much everyone for the encouragement and thoughtful comments on this song..... Hugs... Kaley
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Really pretty Kaley.
I like the lyrics. The only thing I wonder about is that the words to the chorus sure sound feminine. It's kinda hard to imagine a guy being able to pull them off convincingly:
Way overdue for back rubbings...
And lots of gentle touchings
And I wanna make you smiles......
Way overdue for kissing...
Just something to think about. Very nice tune.
Peace,
Ian
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Hi Ian!!!...thank you for taking the time to listen...think about it and comment!!...really appreciate that. and glad you like it!!...So you got me thinking...... and I don't know.. I...uh...um...have been told these things before a time or two ya know..like........I want to rub your back, I want to make you smile all night ...etc....? kiss you all over? and without being graphic....would the male mind..not think this at least some times?....in a more gentle moment?...or at least convey...it...in a romantic moment? ...I say yes...but also realize..in our hurry up lives....many times...uh...no. If guys are thinking you'd never say this....PLEASE...Holler... cause I've had a song demo'd where...the publisher said...what guy would say these things... and those lyrics were written by a guy....so...Holler..back...y'all.... thanks Ian..very much!!... best to you... Kaley
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If guys are thinking you'd never say this....PLEASE...Holler... Kaley Hi Kaley, It's not that guys would never say mushy stuff like this, it's just that it's not typical 'guy talk'. Guys engage in gentle touchings and back rubbing because girls like it. But generally (I'm pretty sure) it's not what drives them. In this tune, you're imposing a pretty feminine drive onto your male protagonist. Peace, Ian
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Following ya...but...in a romantic song regardless of drive ..don't you think gal's would like to hear that sometime? I uh do think so.... But if it needs changed and guys are thinking in general they would not say it or sing it....then I need to know...cause no one's going to want to sing it if that's the case....That's a great point, Ian.... thanks ... Kaley
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Hi Kaley, sure guys might think it, but to sing it out loud might be crossing some kindof guy line, lol..
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Ok..y'all ..thanks Louis... What words won't you sing...please tell me.... Dern..you'd whisper them..but you won't sing them.....ok... Anybody else... Am I going to have to turn this into a gal song..... or can I just make some adjustments...in words.... Thanks y'all..(thanks Louis ) I had my singer in mind and all.....dern dern dern ok..explain it to me slowly y'all....what wouldn't you sing...? best.. Kaley
Last edited by Kaley Willow; 01/07/09 09:48 PM.
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the chorus part Kaley,, I think it'd work better if he just hinted at the details rather than spelling them out
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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I think this would work best as a female vocal. From that point of view, the chorus has a bit of a slightly possessive tone that you might be able to change just by changing a line or two. I duuno, but this sure seems like it's work better coming from a female vocalist.
Peace,
Ian
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 331
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 331 |
If it was sung by a big smoothie, with a deep masculine voice, he could pull this song down. In my eye, I think an extremely manly voice would create such contrast, it would drop gals to their knees. That's why I mentioned Toby Keith. I think he could pull it off. Contrast is the key.
Then again, if it were sung by an extremely feminine sounding woman, I would probably drop. It's just that type of song, and what you, as a listener, want to imagine.
Btw... I could follow the lyrics and melody just fine, as mentioned by Songcabinet. I also found the word weatherman a little awkward, but that shouldn't be hard to fix.
Man, you're getting all kinds of angles on this one. Good luck!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
Top 10 Poster
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OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
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I'll have to do my 3-step back thing on this one......Louis...
I have a line in my mind..that I won't cross....when it comes to lyrics...and songs I'm associated with ...and I didn't have a problem with it in as far as saying these words...because it
was natural and very loving....BUT the feminine issue...does have me questioning my song.. (and is a GOOD thing and was glad for it...rather now than $ later)...so will take some steps back..and probably take this to a publisher friend...or Harriet off the board...for some more thoughts...since the guys prior didn't question it....and I really am not sure....
Thanks Louis bunches for coming back!!....
h,
Kaley
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
Top 10 Poster
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Hi Ian...Thank you!!....Definitely going to think about this...long and hard before demoing it..as I don't have the luxury of having a demo done twice...anymore. I just can't afford to. thank you so much. I can see how a gal can sing some of this...but there would be changes needed for sure on parts too. Am glad you spoke up!!! very best... Kaley
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,534 Likes: 28
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,534 Likes: 28 |
Happy to come by again Kaley...
What this lyric conveys is a comfortable, long time relationship, not some come on...so IMO, and as I mentioned earlier in the "3" room, this is a close relationship, and feels real nice and easy, with a "lets grab the opportunity while we can to just relax, we have not been able to for a while"... feel to it
So my take is that this is perfect as is, as long as this you meant to paint them as a married couple, comfortable with each other, and we "know" they know what the other wants...
AND I think it would work equally well sung by a male or female...as I said, the key is that the lyric conveys a sense of comfort in and with the other person...
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240
Top 10 Poster
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OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 10,240 |
Thanks for your view point Johnny V...thanks for the stop by... I had forgotten this was posted on the lyrics board....There was a day not too long ago...I would have never forgotten I'd posted.... Yes....on trying to convey a close easy loving relationship.... That was what I was trying for.... I'll go read what was said on the lyrics board...too!!!... Thanks John V.....! I am happy you're still seeing it the same way.... very best... H, KK
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,246
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,246 |
Only in a song I guess, 'cuz it sure as hell ain't happenin' anywhere else....
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