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#663309 - 10/28/08 12:05 AM Seasons Change  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 450
les_paul_gurl Offline
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les_paul_gurl  Offline
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California, USA
Ok....this one just kinda came out...still working on it but thought I'd put it up here to get some advice as I work through it smile Basically this stemmed from a conversation when someone told me how horrible they feel after a break up..



"Seasons Change"

VERSE 1
You say you dream in black and white
And shout your sorrows into the night
You don't know what you've become
That your whole world has come undone

VERSE 2
As the leaves start to change and fall
You tell me there's things you don't recall
You've lost your sight, you feel so cold
And don't believe anything you're told

CHORUS
You're trying to find a reason
For this sudden change in season
Tree and leaf must part
For new beginnings to start

VERSE 3
You say you don't understand why
That sometimes all you do is cry
You close your eyes and feel the breeze
The pain inside brings you to your knees

CHORUS
You're trying to find a reason
For this sudden change in season
Tree and leaf must part
For new beginnings to start

BRIDGE
This doesnít mean the end for you
You have a chance at something new
It isnít strange, that season change
This feeling will go away
With the dawning of a new day

CHORUS
You're trying to find a reason
For this sudden change in season
Tree and leaf must part
For new beginnings to start



(c)Kassie Rogers 2008
All rights reserved.



Last edited by les_paul_gurl; 10/28/08 05:37 AM.

Love is the best, yet worst thing that can happen to a person...
#663342 - 10/28/08 04:10 AM Re: Seasons Change [Re: les_paul_gurl]  
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 26
Lee L. Offline
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Lee L.  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 26
Georgia, USA
Kassie,

I love the idea of this song. You have a great start and I can see huge potential in this. Here are some thoughts I had. Take them for what their worth...

What if you put more references to fall in the lyric. You could then tie the opening line into this theme. Take the 'black and white' from opening line and elaborate more on it i.e. black represents death and white represents innocence of a person who never experienced loss maybe the break up (death) has turned their world into shades of gray...just a thought but I think it could really bring home the hook and be a nice contrast between what the subject is feeling (doom and life is ending, etc.) and what the truth of fall means...making room for "new beginnings"


VERSE 1
You say you dream in black and white
And shout your sorrows into the night
I love the opening line it draws the listener in

You don't understand what you've become
That your whole world has come undone

VERSE 2
As the leaves start to change and fall
You tell me there's things you don't recall
You've lost your sight, you feel so cold
And don't believe anything you're told

CHORUS
It's not strange, that season change
Some hearts must part
For new beginnings to start

Love the chorus but I did have a thought

It's not strange, that season's change
Tree and leaf must part
For new beginnings to start

"tree and leaf" can represent the two people splitting up



VERSE 3
You say you don't understand why
That sometimes all you do is crytears fall like leaves

You're trying to find a reason
For this sudden change in season
This rolls off the tongue very well and is very memorable have you considered using this in chorus as hook? Maybe title could be "Sudden change in Season"

BRIDGE
Itís nothing that you did wrong
Youíll be better before long
This pain will go away
With the dawning of a new day
Line two and three say essentially the same thing

I really enjoyed the read. I look forward to seeing it progress.

These only my opinions take what you like and feel free to use them. As for the rest feel free to play a quick game of trash can basketball with them...maybe then they'll worth at least three points to ya! wink

Last edited by Lee L.; 10/28/08 04:12 AM.
#663344 - 10/28/08 04:16 AM Re: Seasons Change [Re: Lee L.]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 450
les_paul_gurl Offline
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les_paul_gurl  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 450
California, USA
Lee--

Thank you so much for looking it over smile yeah i wanted to eventually put more of that "Fall" symbolism into the lyric. this draft was basically what spilled out from my head to the paper. I agree with what you said about
"You're trying to find a reason
For this sudden change in season"
I think it would work well as part of the chorus. I also like the 'tree and leaf' reference. I will be working on a revised version asap smile Thank you and have a good night smile

~~Kassie~~


Love is the best, yet worst thing that can happen to a person...
#663348 - 10/28/08 05:15 AM Re: Seasons Change [Re: les_paul_gurl]  
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 267
AJ Baker Offline
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AJ Baker  Offline
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Union,Ohio
Hi Kassie,Good song here I like the way it flowed .Did you find the Nashville numbering system?AJ


Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
#663350 - 10/28/08 05:27 AM Re: Seasons Change [Re: ]  
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les_paul_gurl Offline
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les_paul_gurl  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
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California, USA
AJ--

Ahhhh i can't fall asleep! I'm sooo going to be dead in the morning! frown Thank you... smile this song pretty much just flowed out of me one night. I did find it; I already know what chords go together but it does make it quicker to decide which ones to choose. smile thank you. Can't wait to hear what you have for Goodbye. Hopfully this case of insomnia wears off soon!!

~~Kassie~~


Love is the best, yet worst thing that can happen to a person...
#663351 - 10/28/08 05:59 AM Re: Seasons Change [Re: les_paul_gurl]  
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 267
AJ Baker Offline
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AJ Baker  Offline
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Union,Ohio
I pretty much have your tune written but i'm having vista issues and need to get them resolved to record on my computer otherwise it will be later at the studio or over the phone like i did with Caroline.You have it better because you can play.AJ


Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
#663374 - 10/28/08 09:28 AM Re: Seasons Change [Re: les_paul_gurl]  
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 411
Randy P. Gendron Offline
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Randy P. Gendron  Offline
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Posts: 411
Cool!



#663379 - 10/28/08 10:18 AM Re: Seasons Change [Re: ]  
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les_paul_gurl Offline
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les_paul_gurl  Offline
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Posts: 450
California, USA
AJ--

ah ok awesome smile I'm patient. Whenever you're ready; no rush smile well I managed to get four hours sleep :/ Work is going to be really long today I think. I might not be on later tonight; if so then thank you yet again smile have a great day and I will talk to you later!!

~~Kassie~~


Love is the best, yet worst thing that can happen to a person...
#663382 - 10/28/08 10:23 AM Re: Seasons Change [Re: Randy P. Gendron]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 450
les_paul_gurl Offline
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les_paul_gurl  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 450
California, USA
Randy-

Thank you for checking my lyric out smile I've very glad you liked it. I liked your suggestion on the bridge; I think I will use it smile Well it's off to work for now; got the 5am shift :/ Hopefully I'll be back on later to make the changes. Thank you again and have a wonderful day!

~~Kassie~~


Love is the best, yet worst thing that can happen to a person...
#663434 - 10/28/08 02:46 PM Re: Seasons Change [Re: les_paul_gurl]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Tampa, Florida since 1973
HiDee Mz Gurl!

Conceptually, this'n's a Fine Idea.

There's a "Vagueness" to it that kinda Gnaws-Away.

"Seasons Change"...that's well-&-good. MIGHT Kick a Bit-More-Butt if Hook was "Seasons Change for The Better" MIGHT mention Tree's Grown-a-Bit-TALLER Each Year it's lost those leaves.

V1 kinda jerked a bit, head-melody-wise here, anyways. So..here's a Sug or two:
"You say you dream in black & white/
Shout your sorrows TOWARDS the night/
SAY you don't know what you've become/
WHILE your whole world has come undone...

V2 Sugs:
OUTSIDE the leaves begin to fall/
While all the sad things you recall/
Your heart is crushed, you feel so old/
You're sorting out the lies-been-told...

Current Chorus kinda hits like a Japanese Proverb. WISH it was a scosh More-Conversational...as (K-O-S)
"Tree & leaf must part/before soft new beginings start"

Bridge feels ALMOST-there..."This feeling will go away" doesn't state the case too-exactly...try "This PAIN will go away/With the dawn of EACH new day"

Keep refining this one down...it's got Wisdom in it & Hope. I LIKE that in a Sad One..& Good Luck to ya Mz Gurl for the Great Advice here as it gets even better!

Big Hugs,
Stan

#663532 - 10/28/08 09:25 PM Re: Seasons Change [Re: ]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,835
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Posts: 19,835
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Kassie,

Good job.
I like it as is !

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#663606 - 10/29/08 04:19 AM Re: Seasons Change [Re: ]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 450
les_paul_gurl Offline
Serious Contributor
les_paul_gurl  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 450
California, USA
Stan--

Thank you for the advice! smile I will definitely consider it. well it's off to bed as I have yet another before-dawn shift! Take care smile

~~Kassie~~


Love is the best, yet worst thing that can happen to a person...
#663607 - 10/29/08 04:20 AM Re: Seasons Change [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 450
les_paul_gurl Offline
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les_paul_gurl  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 450
California, USA
Calvin--

Thank you so much for the read and the comment!! smile You made my day! Have a wonderful day smile

~~Kassie~~


Love is the best, yet worst thing that can happen to a person...

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