JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 New Version "Don't push my button"

Hi All!

I would very much appreciate if you could give me some feedback on my new version of Don't push my button. I have been so busy with work this week, and working on this song, I'm absolutely exhausted.

I'm holding back the emotions, after working on this song, and yes I have to be honest, very painful.

Have I taken the song to deep?

I have only a couple of days,(change of plans, now a couple of weeks). Paul is going away, and we are going to record a new version of Don't push my button, and also "Get over it", I said to Paul, well nothing like being under pressure hah. Golly gosh!



Don't push my button

Hey, don't push my button
I won't take it any more
Anger, tears, the sadness inside
I know now I've got my pride
So hey, don't push my button
I won't take it any more
Stronger, wiser, than ever before
I won't play your victim no more

Verse

There was a time and a place
I was lost and confused
Young and trusting
Nothing to lose
Had a dream I held, when I became your wife
Never thought I'd be fighting for life
Those I trusted turned away
Only feels like yesterday
Weeks have turned to years
It's time to put it away............

Chorus

Hey, don't push my button
I won't take it any more
Anger, tears, the sadness inside
I know now I've got my pride
So hey, don't push my button
I won't take it any more
Stronger, wiser, than ever before
I won't play your victim no more.....

Verse

I found a man?
I thought was right?
You pushed me around until I'd lost sight
For our children I felt trapped to stay
With all of your lies my dreams faded away
But with the truth of you before me now
I had to leave
And stand my ground
Now I can finally say
This survivors here to stay.....

Solo

Bridge
I'm here today
Offering you this advice
Don't be the victim
You too can survive
A new beginning
Make them the end
Every time they push
You get up and say, Hey........

Chorus

Hey don't push my button
I won't take it any more
Anger, tears, the sadness inside
I know now I've got my pride
So, hey don't push my button
I won't take it any more
Stronger, wiser than ever before
I won't play your victim no more
So hey...Repeat the chorus

Copyright 2007

By Michele Bolton

Thanks a bunch
Your Aussie friend

Michele

Back to the writing board.

This is a solid piece of writing, Michele.
Good work! I can imagine the difficulty maintaining the distance but still wanting to incorporate emotion.

I have just one suggestion: instead of 'move away', you might want to say 'edge away'. This heightens the sense of your friends/family seeing what's going on but not having the courage to step in and help. (If in fact this is what you intended by 'move away', rather than that they relocated. If you know what I mean.)

Also, 'advise' should be 'advice'.

DM

Hi Donna

Thanks so much for your input, yes that is what I meant, edge away sounds good, I don't know how it will sing though, but I will give it a go.

Also thanks for you support, it really means a lot to me, your a great inspiration, so lots of hugs hey.

The structure of the song will be changed, as I want the song to be shorter, but I haven't worked that out yet, but I will, so again a big thank you.


Your Aussie friend

Michele

Wow Michelle

This has really become more strong and solid. Yes, if you can shorten it too it will really tie it up nicely. Very solid write as Donna has said. It will be worth all the work and help many, but Mostly it has helped you already - I can tell. !!

Best wishes on the new recording session. Just sing from your heart Friend jm

Hi Joice

Your the best, thanks, I'm so pleased you like the changes. My cute hubby doesn't, as I have deleted him out of the song, but I'm sure he will get used to it. Dick also finds it hard to talk about my ex as the effects it's had on me and Dick is very painful. Dick has been the one that's had to try and help me pick up the pieces, and I just love him so much. Also I have to give him some understanding, as to being my rock, he can't always be the strong one, and I really understand his anger.

I took Bills review to Paul, and we talked about it, and I started to cry, but Paul was great. We talked it over, and he pointed out suggestions, then I came home and I have been working on it, early hours of the morning, after I had finished work. I really think I have got the lyrics nearly right.

When I go back to Paul's to record it, we will work out the structure then, I am thinking I will take out the third chorus, and go from the second verse, then to the bridge, then to the final chorus, so I will wait and see.

I will be singing this song from my heart.

Thanks

Your Aussie friend

Michele

Michele,

I applaud your courage with this. I know I could not write something like it, though I went through a similar relationship. All I've wanted to do since that time is just move on. I know I could not directly write about it in the way that you have here. Plus it's so darn catchy.

A couple of thoughts just to tighten-up what you have, which is very good:

"Never thought I'd be fighting for life
Everyone seemed to look the other way

He pushed me around until I'd lost sight
Of our children, struggling I lost my way

Thought he'd finish me
But I'm here to tell him
No longer the victim

You will be fine, by the way. You wrote it, that's the hard part. Now perform it like you know how.

Hi Wendy

Thanks so much Wendy, your input has helped heaps, you all here are the best hey, I have missed JPF so much, as I have been working a lot of hours, and also working on my songs. So this Aussie girl is very tired at the moment. I am off to bed very shortly, as I'm working again tomorrow night.

I'm looking forward to pay day, I need the money to keep me going with my singing and songwriting, so it's worth working hard hey.

Your the best Wendy, I went back and made the changes to what you suggested. Have a look at it now. Cool.

Also I'm sorry to hear that you too, went through a horrible experience.

Big hugs to you!

Your Aussie friend

Michele

I would very much love to get some feedback from my male friends on JPF. Are you all reacting like my husband?

Okay, I think if I take the "He held me down line" and put something else there, as I want the song to be universal, as my hubby now says, with anger, that it's now not universal.

Thanks

Michele

Hi Michele, We'll see how it sounds when you record it that will be the true test but for now it looks good.AJ

Michele--

This song is really good!! Can't wait to hear it! I can relate to some of the emotion in it....best of luck to you with it!

~~Kassie~~

Hi AJ

Thanks so much for your support, and yes, I can't wait until I record it.


Hi Kassie

Thanks so much, click on my sound click and listen to my first one, this one will be shorter, and I have changed the lyrics, and also took out a verse, and put in a bridge. I am sure you will all like this version. And thanks for being honest, I'm sorry to hear that you can relate to the emotion in my song. There is a lot of male and female, that can relate to this song.

Off to work now, catch you all at midnight.

Michele

Well I have a couple of weeks now before we record my songs, as Paul and I have been to busy. So in two weeks when he gets back, we will record both songs.

I would really appreciate it, if I could get some more feedback on this song, before I record it again, as it cost me money to record them.

There is one line, I'm not happy with, "He held me down" any suggestions please.

Also should I change the final chorus, to make it a bit different, like I had on my first write.

I won't take your crap no more.

Thanks
Michele

nice write my ma could really relate to this song.. solid write... like the lines
Had dreams I held, when becoming your wife
Never thought I'd be fighting for life

that's true with so many marriages.. you have a unique way of saying you're not gonna take it anymore don't push my button i like that ..really enjoyed this one

HiDee Mz Michele~!

OK..Fine Tooth Comb is OUT...Herewegooo:

Chorus: Consider "I won't play YOUR victim no more" since you are addressing Your Adversary.

"Had dreams I held when becoming your wife" is "Yodaspeak".

Perhaps "PUT dreams on-hold when you made me your wife"..tho it too is kinda Yoda-like, too.

"It's time to put it away" is pretty vague..."it" being in-question. (Since "dreams" were ALREADY "put-away"..you've gotta Better Define what "it" really IS. JMO.) Replacement Line Sug: "Now I've got Something to Say"

Next Verse, "way/Away" isn't a very Interesting Rhyme.Line Sug:
"With YOUR lies my dreams faded MORE EACH DAY" Also..Ya used "You" earlier-on..& now you put HIM in 3rd Person here. SO..best to re-write talkin' to "YOU" throughout.

Bridge:
Here..the "You" ISN'T HIM. So...change "you" to "Free" I'd recommend.(The later lines, it's Obvious you're NOT talkin' to HIM anymore..so the "you"s are fine & un-confusing. JMO)

"Mark a beginning/Make them the end"...for Old Me, that's a Confusing Couplet. But perhaps it's an Old Aussie Saying? I DO "Get It"...but it's rather-Tricky. "Every time they push"..."they" isn't too-defined...maybe "Every time YOU'RE pushed" would explain it better?

All-in-all, Good Message. Keep at it & even Ol' Addlepated Stan'll "Get It All~"

Good Luck M'LadyChum!
Big Hugs,
Stan

Ah, Michele, knowing your story, this gave my chills. I know you had a lot of hard days to work through to get this written. It's very good, I applaud your courage, and I'm saddened by the trauma that brought you to this as well.

You have a lot of strength, even if it feels as if there is none, at times. It's there. We can see it, we can feel it. Great writing!

Hi Brandon

Thanks, when I record this song for the second time, you will have to give your Ma a copy, she will love it, and I'm sure she will love to sing along with me, Hey "Don't push my button". Very catchy song.

Thanks again

Michele
Aussie girl from down under

Hi Stan

You are just the best, I will work on the changes over the weekend, and I will go back and edit the changes. Thanks so much, this Aussie girl understands what your saying. Yipee, I feel like it's nearly there.

A big extra hug for you!

Michele
Aussie friend

Hi CC

Big hugs to you, thanks so much, and yes this song has been a hard slog for me, and my other song "Get over it". I really feel that I am starting to move on, and achieve where I want to go, and these two songs have been great stepping stones for me. "Good Ones" Even though I have shed a lot of tears whilst working on these songs, it's been worth it. Crying is a good thing, it helps to heal the pain.

I hope these two songs will help many, give them strength to get up and fight hey.

Thanks so much, I will be popping in and out over the next four days, as I am working four afternoon/night shifts in a row, so I will be very tired.

Take care, and I will talk to you soon.

Aussie friend

Michele

G'day Michele, I admire your courage for writing this song. I ain't gonna spoil your day with me own tribulations. I done that two and more years ago here on JPFolks and dare not risk being chucked off the board with repeatition of any of it. Sorry, I digress. I like your bonzer song. best wishes, Ray.

Hi Ray

Thanks for stopping bye, nice to meet you. What's digress? & what's repeatition? big words hah, hmmm, I will have to look up the dictionary, never heard of those words before. Golly gosh, thanks for your lovely comments.

Michele

G'day again Michele, sorry about my typing 'repeatition' ain't going to make excuses I typed it wrong and I apologise, it should be 'repetition' and I am sure that you will know by now that 'digress' is 'to depart from the the main subject'. Best wishes, Ray.

A couple of suggestions........

>Had dreams I held, when becoming your wife<

"I dreamed of love when I became your wife"

>Mark a beginning
Make them the end<

"A new beginning,
Make the agony end"



I think this song might be a cleansing process for you , but I am reminded of a quote by Joe Walsh as he was about to sing Rocky Mountain Way for the umpteenth time..."if I had known I was going to be singing this song for forty years, I would have written something different!".

Hi Ray

This girl here always makes mistakes, so a big thanks for dropping back in and letting me know, I also haven't had the chance yet to look up what digress meant, so cool, at least I know what it means now.

I look forward to getting to know you.

Michele

Hi Colin

Thanks so much for your input, cause it helps a lot, I have been trying to think of other ways to say things differently, and I do know what you mean about writing this song a different way, I think thats where I am getting frustrated with this song, cause the hurt of the past, keeps on coming up, also I am only learning, so I will keep working on it until I am happy with it 100 percent, as it cost me money to record my songs.

I edited your suggestions, what do you think now?

Now that I think I have the verses and the bridge pretty good, the word "more" in the chorus is annoying me, and also I need to say "I won't play the victim no more" as something else, as I mention being a victim in the verse and I mention it in the bridge so I think I might change it a bit.

Maybe

I'm stronger now, then in the past
And now I'm wiser, I won't take your crap.

Thanks

Michele

Glad to help.......

How about something like:

<Stronger, wiser than ever before
I won't play your victim no more<

Stronger, wiser than I used to be,
(Now) you can forget about (ab)using me

heeeeeyy, don't leave me out......Mechile , I love this,it is really good,postive and so much enegry, made me want to get up and clean house,,,NOT....anyway, yes , and I love your voice , you can sing really good, i'm so proud of you. I enjoyed the lyrics and the music was so perfect. this should do good. good luck and congradulations...glyn

Hi Glynda

You are a Gem, thanks so much, I haven't been on the boards, as I have our two children very sick with this Flue Virus, and I have got a touch of it again myself for the third time, so I will probably have to go on Steroids to get rid of it completely. It's not very nice, our little boy who is 9 is really sick with it, that he has had a week off school, it's that bad.

I will be back in a couple of days, as he is starting to get a little better.

So a big hug, and see you soon.

I'm working on the lyrics with my singing teacher tomorrow, I won't be singing, as I am resting my throat, but we are going to see how the lines sing with what music I have already got, except for the bridge, as I will work on the changes with that, with Paul. I will keep you updated, and thanks.

And Don't over do that house work, happy to here that my song gave you energy, wait for the new version, it will be good.

Michele
Your Aussie friend

Hi Colin

Thanks a bunch, working on the song with my singing teacher, to see how the lines sing, with what music production we already have.

Cool, thanks for your input and help.

I'll be back soon as my family gets better.

Michele
Aussie fan

This is a great song Michele. Really catchy. The sound of those dueling guitars is VERY cool. Great job.

Re. the verses, I'll just throw out this suggestion. You might experiment with using the same melody for "Young and trusting - Nothing to lose". as for "There was a time and a place - I was lost and confused"... or maybe just keep "young and trusting" on those same low notes. I think it would keep your verses a bit more cohesive. I say this because you mention you're redoing the tune. It's pretty good as is. Best of luck w/ this.

Peace,

Ian

Hi Ian

I thought this had gone back through the posts, as I have been very sick with this horrible flue virus, plus my hubby and children had it also. But we are all better now, thank goodness.

Thanks so much, we are still working the lyrics for the New version, so your input helps, also recording my second song this week, so busy busy busy.

I'm pleased you like my first version.

I will update the final changes here, when I am fully happy with them. Cool.

Thanks

Michele
Aussie girl