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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,963
Top 100 Poster
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OP
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Well, a couple days ago I was accused of being a flirt! I responded - so what! It's been a fun ride!!! Please nit!!!
Flirt ©2008Charlann Shepherd
Verse 1 THOUGHT the boys had cooties I kept em’ straight with a kick to the knees. WHILE They were dirty, and I was cute and purty. Yeah, " I " knew how to be a little flirt!
CHORUS I guess I’ve always done it. It’s got to be a habit. I know that I’m a good girl. But, getting this attention, Sets my world in a whirl.
Verse 2 First date was a movie In his new jeans he thought he was groovy. But I played hard to get, and then I just made him sweat Yeah, I sure got away with my flirt!
BRIDGE It takes a certain talent For a man to land with one knee bent A wink, a smile, a gentle kiss All come to play in my bag of tricks.
CHORUS I guess I’ve always done it. It’s got to be a habit. I know that I’m a good girl. But, getting this attention, Sets my world in a whirl.
Last edited by Charlann Shepherd; 08/26/08 10:33 PM.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
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Hi Charlann Nice to see you about and on the healing trend. Good for you! Stay well now, okay! Like the hook, i think it has some great potential... some tongue and cheek performer might do well with it. wondering if you might start off with THOUGHT the boys had cooties I kept em’ straight with a kick to the knees. WHILE They were dirty, and I was cute and purty. Yeah, " I " knew how to be a little flirt! Just my thoughts jm
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Joined: Nov 2006
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Hey JM!
That is perfect!!! Thanks so much!!!
Charlann
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Joined: Nov 2006
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bumping myself, for those that haven't seen it yet!
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,865
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Hey lady! I'm confused. The other post, Someone Elses Heart, should have this same title from what I read.
I relaly like both of them, but I think they both need soem attention too. Not major stuff, just some tweaking like JM pointed out.
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,199
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Charlann, this looks like a great idea. The lines that throw me are "having cooties" and "getting away with my flirt" - what happens if she doesn't get away with it? I mean maybe she's not "getting away" with anything just satisfying her need/desire for attention? That's what I'd focus on more sharply (with every word).
I like it.
Those puppy dogs' tails wag for sugar and spice.
Have fun, John
Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword never had an editor.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 2,177
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Slight meter problem here:
Just one thing:
THOUGHT the boys had cooties I kept em’ straight with a kick to the knees.
You're rhyming an unstressed syllable "-ies", with a stressed syllable "knees".
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