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#642222 08/14/08 01:20 AM
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UPDATE: Same tune, though. LOL -- I went over to toonsmith to check out the scene. The owner of the site, Nan, went out of her way to tell me how terrible my song is. No need to re-listen or comment -- I was just inappropriately blowing off steam.

********************************************************
A fellow RPM'er, Kavin's Acoustic Church, laid down this great tune called "D Jam" with Darrin Kobetich on mandolin and I took it and morphed into my tale of a miner in Alaska (I actually asked for permission first!).

Ever since I heard TJ O'Donnel's Cordwood Stomp (Sorry, this song seems to have disappeared) , I wanted to do a song with knee slaps in it. I didn't know it would be so hard. I tried for 45 minutes to get something that sounded good and then I gave up. I decided to try once more and (after adding some effects) got something I could live with. I also couldn't get a decent guitar part together that blended well with Kavin and Darrin's great playing -- so no guitar from me.

Even with all these tribulations, I had a blast working on it.

MP3: http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6805441 (or if soundclick doesn't work here's one at a little higher quality: http://www.jkt9000.com/html/take_me_where_you_are_going.mp3 )

********************************************
Take Me Where You’re Going
© Emmrich/Kavin 2008

Well I feel it’s time to go
and I need a place to lie
(maybe where the sun still shines)

Will you take me where you’re going
let me leave this all behind

I started in New Mexico
then went looking for Colorado gold
Went to California when the winter got too cold
but summer led me to this frozen place
and now I just might die
Lord, I don’t know if I’ll make it
but I’ll just have to try

Will you take me where you’re going
let me leave this all behind
(Take me where the sun still shines)

Well the sun stays so low
and the cold wind just blows
I dream about the warmth
Of my home in New Mexico

Will you take me where you’re going
let me leave this all behind
(Let me go where the sun still shines)

Kavin. (yes, with a period): Guitar
Darrin Kobetich: mandolin
Kevin (Me): vocals, harmonica, knee slaps

Last edited by Kevin Emmrich; 08/30/09 07:12 PM.

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Hey Kevin,

What a musically intersting, and vivid piece. I think your vocals are pretty much spot on, a couple of minor phrasing issues, but easily corrected.

They say songs are all about imagery, and the visuals sure are there. This would slot right into a music library, no problem, if the oppertunity came up, it could be used in a number of different situations.

Acoustic tunes, especially those that stay on the root note, are really hard to pull off. I think you've done a great job, on something which is difficult to achieve.

cheers, niteshift

PS - yep, the knee slaps came out OK too, and it doesn't need an extra guitar. Just perhaps, another acoustic percussion track. Washboard ?

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Hi, Kevin!

You have a good start on this. I like the idea of the story. In the first verse, maybe you could sneak a "down" right after the "lie," because it sounds like you are looking for a place to "lie" as in not telling the truth. I think you could actually work it in.

I think this was good as an exercise but because it was a jam and not developed with a vocal song in mind, it is pretty irregular. However I think you could work on the lyrics and melody a bit and work in parts of the jam to fix it.

You are right about the slaps. The mic isn't quite picking it up right.

I enjoy listening to your work. Take care.



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Jean, I must butt in for a moment, if I'm allowed.

I have to dis-agree with your comments here.

Having always been someone who has over-produced, I think the tonal quality, the lazyness of the vocal track, and the somewhat lack of structure, is what gives this piece it's charm.

The playing is supberb, the vocal is slightly out of whack, but fits perfectly, and the knee slaps are restrained, audible, and in the right context.

I don't think "good start" is an appropriate comment. More like "almost done, just give it a tweak"

It's a perfect track for the right situation, which would be ruined by trying to play around with it.

cheers, niteshift


niteshift (D) #642374 08/14/08 06:29 PM
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.

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Jean, yes I quite agree.

However, a critique must be put into balance. If there are points about a certian piece that provoke discussion, or at are at odds with a certain point of view, then they should be discussed, and discussed openly.

There is no point in giving "one opinion", then another giving "one opinion". It may be qualified, it may be not.

I happen to disagree with the main points you make. There is no right or wrong, there is only discussion.

If we were to all sit and just write comments, there would no improvement , and no advancement.

It's not about "arguement", it's about differet views, which help the writer how their work is viewed.

If you have a point, then make it, and make it strongly. If my point disagrees, then I will make my point strongly.

It does not do the writer any good at all to have conflicting viewpoints, without a fuller explanation. Let the conflicting views be given air, let them breathe, and let healthy discussion take place.

That's about it from me.....

cheers, niteshift

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Good morning Kevin

Golly gosh, that's amazing what you have done, so well done hah. I really think this is fantastic, and keep adding those touches, cause I love it. grin I feel like I'm in the theater, watching a Movie. whistle

This is really a great piece of work, cool. grin

Your Aussie fan

Michele

Last edited by Michele Bolton; 08/14/08 11:11 PM.
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Hi Kevin,

This has a great "O Brother Where Art Thou" feel to it. I like it all, including the knee slaps. Only one word I'd change is in the chorus, "let me leave this all behind". I'd take out "let" and put in "help". Very minor, but I gotta be me:)

Ricki

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WELL KEV MY MAN

though i love the banjo and harmonica playing by themselves........a bluegrass tune with lyrics about western places-especially new mexico-well that just doesnt work for me......but i do give ya credit for being experimental.......and maybe its just me.......call me naive-but i dont think i have heard a bluegrass song with lyrics about the desert before-until now....but again i may just be somewhat dumb about bluegrass music.....duh.......

Tom

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Very Cool Kevin...

And yes, doing or recording things like knee slaps, hand claps, whistling etc...
all things that you would think should be easy are a pain in the butt lol....

Great job all around. Noticed improvement on vocal as well.. you blended them well in this and with the style of the song.

Another musically cool & different song.....


Thanks!
Peace Mike
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Kevin: I think that this was an ambitious undertaking. A lot of times with this kind of mash-up of a jam and some lyrics, things might get shakey right off the bat and fall apart real quick. Also the other danger here is that the lyrics won't be interesting enough to match the music and then the musicianship doesn't matter and the whole song is diminished (pun intended? maybe) BUT THANK GOD!!

Not in this one. Man I felt shot through with a Greatful Dead Feeling. ANd it didn't take much aural Imigination, to hear your voice coming out sounding like Jerry.

Loved it cause it sounded so free and easy and its still ringing in my ears.

Great!

Paul

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I like the lyrics - particularly in combination with the music. They compliment each other. I do think it would sound better if the vocals were on pitch, but the essence of the song comes through well enough for me to appreciate the song.

Tom


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Cool song and sound. You might bump up the volume of the instruments a notch relative to the vocals.

I could see y'all sittin' on the porch of an old house in the desert with the Rockies in the background.


Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

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I was getting depressed there, but Nite, Jean and others came to my rescue. First, I thought this song was going to slide off the board with no comments (it was close) and two, this tune has stayed at dead last since I posted it over at OurStage.

Now, I have decided that there is a certain coolness associated with being last. I mean the middle of the pack is so pedestrian. If you can’t be at or near #1, then last is the place to be. I can tell everyone that I have the highest numbered tune in my channel!

Niteshift: Glad you liked the imagery and the overall feel for this one. Once I heard the “D Jam” from Kavin and Darrin, I just went “Wow! I love this jam”. I think the lyrics came out OK – a few throw away lines that could be replaced with something better – but overall, pretty decent for me. Thanks for stopping the slide off the board for this tune (LOL!). I might look for a little more percussion – I am not sure yet.

Jean: I think your opinion might be more in the majority here (judging from the OurStage stuff). The song is just a kick back, background type tune versus a song that is “hit” material. I guess I am just a non-mainstream type of guy. I hadn’t thought about the “lie” vs. “lie down” thing. Is this a written issue or does that ambiguity come across when singing? I don’t think the mic/recording was the issue with the knee slaps – it is just hard to get something thick and rich sounding -- or since it was my first time doing it, probably just inexperience.

Michele: Always a pleasure to have you stop by. You just have a way of saying nice things about people’s stuff! Have a good day over there.

Ricki: “Help me” vs. “Let me” is a great idea!! Of course that means I have to do all the vocals all over again! I’ll definitely make that change in the lyrics. Thanks for listening and commenting.

WriterTom: LOL! I never thought about bluegrass in the old time west. Now Brian W. seems to think this is really more “Roots” music and I guess it is closer to the Appalachian modal drone stuff. I guess that means it has roots with the Irish/Scottish immigrants. Since some of those immigrants could have gone to New Mexico, I am safe (OK, I’m stretching a little).

Kevin


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Mike: You are right – I think it is just hard to record anything right! I actually added a little chorus and delay to the knee slaps to help thicken them up. That is why the knee slaps sound so fast. I think I could go back and improve the vocals some more – but that is always a crap shoot with me.

Paul: My man, thanks for the gushing endorsement! I hadn’t thought about the Dead here, but you could be right. The original “D Jam” was just too good – I am glad I didn’t mess it up.

Tom: You also want the vocals to be on pitch??? The only way that is going to happen with me is to do some serious ear training/singing lessons or buy Auto tune software. I would like to get auto tune software someday. I think I can get close enough and then just tweak, so the use of technology won’t be too evident.

Colin: I was only able to mix under headphones, so the vocals versus backing track could be an issue. I’ll try and listen on a stereo system today and make adjustments. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

Kevin


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Hi,Kevin! The lie thing came across the same written or listening.


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Nice bluegrass feel Kevin. Vocal is good too. Like the instrumentation and overall production. Nice.

Steve


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Jean: Thanks

Little_stevie_b: Thanks for stopping by and listening.

Kevin


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This song has a great feel. The melody is very good. I like the subtle use of the instruments. The background chu, chu sound that comes in periodically is very nice. The musical pieces weave together in a nice tapestry.

Tom


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Kevin,

I listened to this several days ago and was going to comment then but my computer has been acting up. I totally hear this as a roots music piece. It sounds very authentic. I could hear this as backing music to a documentary about the laborers of the 20's and 30's, playing along behind the grainy, black & white images of the men who risked their lives blasting rock to build Hoover Dam, for example. Lots of those folks traveled wherever the work took them. I think my great grandfather was one.

Anyway, I really enjoyed it and that's what this songwriting journey is all about, I think.


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Hey Kevin:

Cool tune. Love the knee slaps and the harp. Harmonies are cool but seemed a little tentative to me. This kinda tune feels to me like it once that high harmony to be almost as strong as the lead vocal. Might be a personal preference on my part.....

I think it works well - maybe, like Nite said, a little more of a percussion part might be nice - hey, an excuse to play with some sounds on your new pad.... smile

Scott


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Tom: Thanks for nice compliments, I just tried to stay true to the mood that Kavin and Darrin put together.

Wendy: Thanks for visiting. I enjoyed this one a lot and I am glad a few others did also.

Scott: LOL! I thought I was belting out the harmonies (except for the first refrain). If I do add more percussion, I'll have to go with something that would be used in this style of song. Don't have a washboard, so I don't know what to use. I'll look around, but I don't want to ruin it either (I'm not that good at percussion).

Kevin


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Hi Kevin!
Darn.. I love this tune.. you have painted great images and captured that roots feel & sound. pitch?!?! no problem with pitch .. vocals work for the style (jmho) ... i enjoyed the harmonies & love the knee slaps ...
i heard a few lines where the phrasing felt a tad bit wordy/awkward ... but over all ... I love this tune
Joanne

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Joanne: Thanks so much for the kind words. You are making quite a splash with your demo derby songs -- and you deserve all the praise you are getting. You have a wonderful voice.

Kevin


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Kevin:

I've noticed that lately you've been taking jams and turning them into songs. It sounds like a great way to get that kernel of an idea...and to turn someone's work into a complete song. Cool.

I like the song and the story. The melody, vocals (nice job on those!) and musical touches (harmonica and slaps) all worked for me. I also like the contrast you used between hot and cold in the lyrics - sun still shines, summer, warmth vs. cold, frozen, cold wind.

The only thing is...if you hadn't mentioned in your description that the song was about a miner in Alaska, I wouldn't have known where he was or why he was so cold. You mention New Mexico, Colorado and California but not Alaska. (Of course, I might have missed something...missing the obvious is sort of my thing.)

Mark


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Nice story song, the descriptives of the places you first went helps the chorus pay off with the title "Take Me Where You're Going". Music didn't move me as much would be just my one little thing - but then I'm from Hawaii, what do I know 'bout mandolins? Haw!


Best Regards and Aloha,

Charlie
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Mark: It's difficult for me to put together a complete backing (rhythm guitar, bass, drums) and I haven't the patience to learn how to use loops, so using other people's jams seemed like a nice compromise. Plus it also helps me do things that I normally wouldn't do. The lyrics are always written while listening to the backing track. Of course, the downside is that the jams are never really set up for a V-C-v-C-Br-C format, so these kind I will have to do myself. I recently got a percussion module and I do have a bass, so hopefully in a few months I'll be able to grind out backings myself.

Alaska -- well it doesn't have to be Alaska -- just somewhere north of California! I just didn't feel the need to said explicitly where he was, just somewhere where the sun won't come up very high.


Charlie: Thanks for stopping by on this one, too. I see your new song is making a nice splash! Well, maybe you don't have too many mandolins over there, but you do have that phenom uke player!

Kevin


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Hi Kevin,
I really do like this overall. I'm partial to unproduced music though.
I'm with Ricki on this, maybe after a few tweaks, it has a good old movie feel. I really like the music here, very nice.


Caroline


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Its got soul.Love the mandolin

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Cool song, Kevin. I would never have thought that this song was not written as a whole piece and lyrics just added later - that is quite an accomplishment in and of itself. I love the down-home, front porch playing, mountain music sound! It has the immediacy of a live performance for me.

Clint

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Caroline: Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate the listen.

MJM: I loved that mandolin and the interplay it had with Kavin's guitar work.

Clint: This has turned out to be one of my favorites, just because of the looseness of it all. Maybe if I learn how to actually play banjo, that might fit in.

Thanks everyone for the listens and the suggestions.

Kevin


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Hey Kevin

Yknow this has a certain earthy feel to it, but it really seems very blues oriented... The harmonica really brings it home to a delta blues feeling, but I can see where folk roots rock works as well (Very similar style)... The timing of the lead vocal didn't always seem to matchup with the music, but it also wasn't far off.. is it possible your recording setup is adding some delay or "latency" because I've noticed this in a few of your songs... it's not way off, but it feels like maybe a hair early? The lead vocal sounds really nice, but at times it seems to clash with the harmony.. not sure which is off... The music seemed timed pretty well... no abhorations I noticed there... it's got a real polished sound... Great work my friend nice package all around.. a little simple smoothing would take this over the top smile
Derek


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** oops wrong one -- I'll be back

Last edited by Kevin Emmrich; 09/11/08 08:40 PM.

"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
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So I was wondering, "How did Derek dig up this old fossil?" Then I remembered you had asked for a link to some of my songs over at OurStage.

The timing issue was that there was really never a good "clue" as to when to jump into the singing. I probably did it a few times and then said -- "That's good enough!" There are some pitch issues in the choir (tough to find good help these days). I am coming closer and closer to being on pitch -- especially if I pick the right key/tune and don't over reach... But I'll never be able to sing perfectly -- just ain't gonna happen. Put three or fours parts together and that can spell aural chaos. Still fun (for me), though.

Kevin


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Ouch, I decided to check out toonsmith a little, so I posted this tune and a couple of others over the past few weeks. The owner of the site came back with review:

*** I decided to remove her quote -- why get into this type stuff here. Sorry about that! ***


Kevin

Last edited by Kevin Emmrich; 08/30/09 06:17 PM.

"Good science comes in peer reviewed journals. Conspiracy theories come in YouTube videos. "
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Kevin...First thought for me was "Brother Where Art Thou"....love the music....I'm a harp fan....

I think you can do better with this one....the chorus is good, but needs some better, stronger harmony....it sounds a little "muddled"....is that the word I'm looking for?....I think so....

Overall I like this one....musically it's cool for sure...keep at it....you sure are a talented guy....you alaways come up with something good.....musically and lyrically....take care...Bob


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