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#643203 08/17/08 04:02 PM
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http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6814730

I wrote the lyric last year for my daughter's birthday and got some help over on the lyric forum. She recently asked if I would put music to it - so here's a stab. Even though it's personal - comments and critiques ARE welcome. Thanks in advance.

Bramble In The Wind © joice marie

I loved your beauty as a baby
Your soul was golden as a child
A lasting treasure
With no Earthly measure
Your spirit divine
Deep and wild

Now I must let you go
To be blown as a bramble in the wind

Lesson and choices hard as rock
The voice of reason mute to deaf ears
No longer helpful
My heart is doubtful
Our future will be
without tears

Now I must let you go
To be blown as a bramble in the wind

I will love you forever dear
You are partly me inside and out
I will never
Fail my endeavor
To listen and care
In rain or drought

Now it pains, I'll let you go
To be blown as a bramble in the wind
Now it pains, I'll let you go
To be blown as a bramble in the wind

Sometimes a free fall
Is the only way
We learn to stand tall

Now I must let you go
To be blown as a bramble in the wind



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Hi Joice,

Nice tribute from a parent to her child. Nice song. I like the harmonies.

Steve


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Thanks a bunch Stevie !


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Hey Joice:

As a personal song to your daughter, this works very well. I'm not a parent but I can imagine what it must be like when you have to let your child go and face the world on her own two feet.....and it feels much like your song smile

Putting the personal aspect aside and commenting on it strictly as a song, I'm curious about your choice of "bramble". I thought I knew what it meant but looked it up to make sure. If you are using it purposefully (and, knowing you, I have to think that you are) it's inspired! But I wonder if the verses could/should point to that aspect a little more directly?

Very nice writing and singing here!

Scott



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Hi Joice,

This is a lovely piece of art.
Your voice is special.


Calvin


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Hi Scott !

Thanks for you comments and really 'getting' the song.... IIt was written to say exactly what I wanted my daughter to hear and not as much to make a market song as you picked up on. Yes, the bramble was very deliberate.

I do see what you say in terms of the verses and yes- now that there's music - I will explore yet another spin on it. There's one other already with 'blossom' instead of brambles for those 'sweet' Ones. Ha. Thanks for the encouragement. smile jm


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Good Evening Calvin

Thanks for stopping in and your kindness. smile jm


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Hi Joice Marie,

So glad you're posting again. This is so special, and to have your daughter request that it be put to music must be a thrill for you.
So poetic, and your voice, so well suited to it. I especially like,
"Sometimes a free fall
Is the only way
We learn to stand tall"

Ricki

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So much feeling comes through on this.....Joice!!...
and I feel for you on this big time......and Like Ricki, love that bridge... You're vocals are beautiful...and I think the melody was such a lovely match.

very best.....
Kaley smile

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Haven't heard one of your songs in awhile -- this one shows off your talents pretty well. Nice song for your daughter. This sounds like a great "live" song. Enjoyed it.

Kevin


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Hi Ricki

Thanks for listening and your comments. Yes - I was almost startled and flattered too when she asked for the music. I put my engineer hat on last night to try to fix a bump in the recording and I think it is better. I'm going to send her a copy today so I hope that she will like it. smile She likes some pretty power house vocalists so I'm not quite in that league, but I hope that she'll enjoy it anyway.

I like the bridge best too. Thanks a bunch for you time. ! jm


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Hi Kaley

Your comments are very much appreciated. Being mom is not always easy and I know that you understand. Nice to hear a great melody maker liking what I have done. Some high praise that I really appreciate. Big hugs at you! smile jm


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Hi Kevin

Thanks for your visit and comments. Yeah it's not too complicated on chords so I might be able to pull it off live with a bit more practice. smile Have a nice day. jm


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I like it. Nice feeling to the song.

Tom


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Hi Joyce Marie -
What a wonderful everlasting gift for both you and your daughter.
It sure is hard to let them go cry
I too really enjoyed your bridge!!!
All the best
Joanne

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Hi Tom

Thanks! I'm glad it gives yu a 'good' feeling. That's nice. smile jm


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Hi Joanne

Thanks for the listen and comments. You are an inspiration to me as I see you grow in your performing art. Thanks so much. smile jm


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Whoa, your lines,

"Sometimes a free fall
Is the only way
We learn to stand tall"

affected me strongly, very insightful and said so very simply.

Couple of things I feel (JMHO of course!) -

1. some of the words didn't sound quite "conversational" to me (yeah, I know it's a personal song, just saying...!)

2. Alyssa Moreno (who wrote "every Day" by Rascal Flatts, and a couple of other songs like "Far From Here" for the TV show "Army Wives") was one of the session advisors at the four-day Kauai Music Festival songwriting seminar we recently had at the beginning of the month, and I recall she commented that "tag songs", or those with a one-or-two line hook rather than a full repeating chorus are a "hard sell". But again I know this is a personal song to a family member. I'm just bursting with enthusiasm and inspiration from attending the danged seminar.

But again that "free fall" verse - man, wish I'd wrote that...


Best Regards and Aloha,

Charlie
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Hi Charlie

Thanks for stopping in to listen on this and your feedback! Glad you found the bridge strong.

Yes your notes are take well and as I move along with this song I may do another write based on the helpful comments. As a personal piece it has found its place in my life so I am happy with that for now. Thanks a bunch! smile jm


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although this is personal it is something most parents can relate to...do we ever feel they are ready to be released into the world? well, maybe later, but not at the time they are ready to spread their wings...ha...nice work JM...your voice is a signature part of your music and conveys the emotions in the lyrics nicely...be well...moker

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Nice tribute song,liked the line" your soul was golden as a child"

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overall good tune but I was very struck by the lyrics in the chorus:

>Now I must let you go
>To be blown as a bramble in the wind

that's fantastic.

..ant


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Joice,

I can certainly relate to this as a parent. Our only child/son left the nest 7 years ago and is now in England frown . It is so hard to let them go, but necessary. Your philosophical stance and poetry are lovely and I can see why your daughter asked you to turn it into a song. Your vocal is beautiful and I especially love the harmonies.

Clint

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Hi Moker

Glad that as a parent you can relate. I often think of my mom in retrospect, the things she endured and it gives me strength. Thanks for your time and comments. smile jm


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Hi Michael

Thank you so much for tuning in here. You should know that I have found a lot of peace listening to your cd. I hope that you sell lots of them. smile jm


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Hi Ant !!

I was thinking, just today that you had not shared anything new with us in a while, so I'm happy to see your name here. Thanks a lot for your time and comments. I hope all is well with you. smile jm


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Hi Clint

Your comments are sure pleasing to hear. Thanks so much for them !... I'm hoping my daughter likes the music as much too. Must be hard with your son so far. Best to you and your family.... now wait, is the child in your pic a grand baby? smile It's a real nice shot, in any event. jm


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As usual your work is always Unique! I love that about you. Nice job all around I would only suggest a fix on the chorus vocal harmony parts. smile

Good to have you back smile


Thanks!
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Hi Mike

Thanks for the unique and nice job.... As far as the recording I'll look closely at that, but if I go back to do the harmonies over, it's very likely I'll want to revisit the whole thing... I did not give myself much time to perfect any of it. I just wanted to get something down to send off to my daughter while it was fresh on her mind.... So when I get a chance I WIll do some more with this. Thank you for your ears. smile jm


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Nicely done...hope she enjoys having this done for her...way to go mom!! smile

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Hi Ted

Thanks you so much. Yes I hope she does too. smile Have a nice day jm


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