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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Hey Boys and Girls, I know we just finished up the last one, but I'd like to keep the momentum going and all those creative juices flowing. SOOOO, here's the deal for this one: Write a song using the word "WHY" in your title.While I failed to offer an entry on the last challenge, I'll be sure to dig deep and work on something for this one soon. But right NOW I need to get more coffee... !!! So good luck and have fun!! Beth
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Okay, I figure the best way to get this going is to "cheat" :o ...and modify the title of an old song of mine from "Some People" to "Why?" and post it as entry #1. It still sorta fits, but hey, I make-a da rules, you like-a da song, capisce? Regardless, I figure there are a more than a few people who were not around during my original posting, so enjoy! Needless to say, I won't be commenting on this one, but if anyone else would like to, that's groovy. I look forward to the entries that are sure ( ) to follow!! Beth “Why?” © lyrics 2007 Beth Williams I hail from a long line of worriers My furrowed brow gives me away While some people wake feeling hopeful Our history says dread every day Through the ages my family’s been stricken With bad luck and a series of ills While some people hail the new medicines We get side effects and lots of bills So why is it that….. Chorus: I burn with sunscreen…. While some people have it made in the shade? I get a cold…. While some people only catch a break? I can’t read music…. While some people always know the score? Why can’t I be like some people? They seem to enjoy life a whole lot more! Still, a crack in the sidewalk, we’re on it No umbrella, then it’s sure to rain While some people zoom by the donut shop We get stopped and just miss our train Bridge: Whether nature or nurture made me this way I want to switch teams and I’m willing to pay Until then, I’ll still wonder why… Chorus: I burn with sunscreen…. While some people have it made in the shade? I get a cold…. While some people only catch a break? I can’t read music…. While some people always know the score? Why can’t I be like some people? They seem to enjoy life a whole lot more!
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BTW, this is not to say the word WHY is the only word in the title....It just so happens that's all I could squeak out of my song to make it still work!! A possible example: "Why Does Johnny Look Like the Mailman" (I can already think of a few of you who could pen that one in about ten minutes... ) Cheers, Beth
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Wheee...Great Challenge Mz O!
Herewegoo.... "WHY?"
"WHY?" is just One Question In a Journalistic Sense "Who, How, What, Why, When & Where?" Help Each Story Jump-The-Fence In Answer to Life's Questions The "Other 5" Run-Shy & The Most-Interesting of the Bunch Is..That Question.."WHY?"
"WHY" takes in "Motivation" What's the REASON for it All? (WHY Did that Driver HAVE to DRINK That Lethal Alcohol?) True, "Who, What, Where, When & How?" Are Factors You Can't Deny But the ONE that's KEY to REALITY Is The ANSWER to That "WHY?"
(BRIDGE) "WHY?" is What EXPLAINS Life Give It MEANING, Gives It TRUTH "WHY?" Has Deeper-Meanings & The "WHY's?" What Gives Us PROOF...
"WHY?" Isn't Always-Answered It's Not Easy-to-Explain Sometimes It's The ONLY Thing-That's-Left When The Pieces Fit The Game: Life's a Puzzle We All Play & as Hard as We All Try When You're Staring At The Picture It Stares Back and Asks You "WHY?"
(TAG) Yeah, No One Sees The Same Reality Or Knows Every Reason "WHY?"
(C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI All Rights Reserved.
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WOW Stan, On the heels of your love-gone-wrong song, this is quite thought-provoking. I don't know that anyone else will want to play! At least I can check off my list one of "the few who I know can tackle this in about ten minutes". You're a madman! One little question...in the line highlighted below, do you think throwing in a "DON'T" would make better sense? Isn't it when the pieces DON'T fit together, we're left wondering why? "WHY?" Isn't Always-Answered It's Not Easy-to-Explain Sometimes It's The ONLY Thing-That's-Left When The Pieces Fit The Game:Life's a Puzzle We All Play & as Hard as We All Try When You're Staring At The Picture It Stares Back and Asks You "WHY?" Either way, I think this is terrific Stan. You should send it in to Andy Rooney (is he even still alive?).... Ciao for now, and thanks for playing... Jackie
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Lunch time musings..... Thanks Beth
I Don't Ask Why © 2008 joice marie
I'll find the road less taken Keeping my head out of the sand Trying to give and take and deal a winning hand
Then find the silver lining And the closest to win, win Better to have loved and lost Hoping still to keep a friend
I don't ask why I just stay hell bent My motto is try I've only got one life I don't ask why I just stay hell bent
I'll always take the high road Leaving petty to the thieves With one eye holding justice Staying true to what I believe
I don't ask why I just stay hell bent My motto is try I've only got one life I don't ask why I just stay hell bent
As I take my last breath I won't have to guess 'cause I've done my best to do things right
I don't ask why I just stay hell bent My motto is try I've only got one life I don't ask why I just stay hell bent
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Here's one from me called "Tell Me Why".... Steve Altonian Single song link below.... hi-fi URL: http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5772084&q=hi TELL ME WHY Never been the kind to say what’s on my mind What I want to tell you is how I feel I get so afraid you might be my worst mistake I toss and turn in bed at night can we get it right (CHORUS): TELL ME WHY does it seem It always has to come down to you and me I try to sing a different song But it don’t last too long TELL ME WHY is it so I can’t seem to ever let you go My mind tells me to walk away But my heart says stay Won’t you TELL ME WHY Won’t you TELL ME WHY You’re no good for me, I’m no good for you Still we stay together even though Sometimes I get confused why we do the things we do Caught in this web of love that’s all tangled up (CHORUS): TELL ME WHY does it seem It always has to come down to you and me I try to sing a different song But it don’t last too long TELL ME WHY is it so I can’t seem to ever let you go My mind tells me to walk away But my heart says stay Won’t you TELL ME WHY Won’t you TELL ME WHY Won’t you TELL ME WHY Won’t you TELL ME WHY (c) 2006 Steve Altonian
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Hey JM, Another quickly-turned out gem. I must say, I was happy to see a "more serious" JM back for a bit (not that I don't enjoy your fun pieces with Cal !) -- it's just that you do this sooo well. I especially enjoyed this verse: I'll always take the high road Leaving petty to the thieves With one eye holding justice Staying true to what I believeI read thru this a couple of times, and I think you're description of it as "lunch time musings" is an understatement. And the tone is deceiving at first glance. While initially I took it as a Gal-with-Positive-Outlook piece, I also sensed an undercurrent of sadness/resignation: Better to have loved and lost Hoping still to keep a friend I may be way off-base with that interpretation....but either way, I enjoyed it. And of course your ability to crank out quality work so fast is of to be commended! Thanks for playing! Beth
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Why (Do I Talk To Her)
I used to know a girl named Boo Before I wrote this song But I've a feeling when she sees it I won't know her very long
I'll probably be ostracized From every challenge that she makes And if I plead I have no songbread She'll tell me to eat cake
C Why Why do I talk to her She's trouble from the git go I didn't have an answer Because I didn't know Why I asked myself again Still no answer came She's ornery through and through Guess I've got myself to blame
Well, maybe just maybe She'll be busy breaking stuff And she won't even see this And get in a big huff
Why Why do I talk to her She's trouble from the git go I didn't have an answer Because I didn't know Why I asked myself again Still no answer came She's ornery through and through Guess I've got myself to blame me
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Well Steve, How lucky are we, that I should post a song challenge requiring one of the three words in this song's title? But more importantly, why is this not playing on the radio? This is fabulous! Romantic! Moving! Engaging! What are you doing after work tonight? (Whoops, did I say that out loud ? ) Seriously Steve, this has HIT written all over it. Lots of great lines, but this one caught my eye: Caught in this web of love that’s all tangled upTugging on those heartstrings big time.... Thanks you so much for sharing!! Cheers, Beth Altonian (whoops, did I type that out loud?)
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Y,Y,Y, So have you been sweatin' at all? Wonderin' when I was going to read it? Respond? Did you know I was yankin' your chain in that PM? I had already READ IT? (CUE MANIACAL LAUGH!!!) Well of course you are an integral part of this song challenge, so I secretly HOPED you would honor ME in some way. NOT so sure this is what I had in mind, but since it's all in good fun...in truth...I'm quite flattered and touched. You certainly have information that could have made it a LOT harsher (can't say the same about you though, can I ?), so I guess I should be grateful? Intentions aside, the "breaking stuff" section is pretty funny....and your chorus is just darn sweet. I guess it all begins and ends with Y, huh? Thanks pumpkin! Boo P.S. The answer to the valid question you raise is of course "Because"... :/
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Hey Betharoo Nice challenge and might I say it got my creative juices flowing thanks! Maybe this marks an end to my writers block! Why would you ask me? Why? 1st Verse I give, you take, and it makes my poor heart ache I’m honest, you lie, makes me wonder why I try Lift When all your care about is yourself Think it’s time to put you on the shelf Chorus So why would you ask me? When you know the reason why I’ve worked so hard to please you And keep you by my side Who do you think you’re fooling? Tellin’ me all these lies Why would you ask me? Why? 2nd Verse I’m tender, you’re cruel, I feel like such a fool I’m loyal, you cheat, wish you were more discreet Lift Tired of you rubbin’ it in my face Think it’s time I put you in your place Chorus So why would you ask me? When you know the reason why I’ve worked so hard to please you And keep you by my side Who do you think you’re fooling? Tellin’ me all these lies Why would you ask me? Why? Bridge The evidence is clear as you stand accused This ole broken heart’s tired of takin’ your abuse Chorus So why would you ask me? When you know the reason why I’ve worked so hard to please you And keep you by my side Who do you think you’re fooling? Tellin’ me all these lies Why would you ask me? Why? Copyright July 10, 2008 Derek Hines All Rights Reserved
Last edited by Derek Hines; 07/10/08 06:55 PM.
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YAY, T.G., Glad you were moved to join the party!! And I'm SO HAPPY you could crank out something so uplifting -- NOT! Seriously, though, this is good writing Derek...you really have made a lot of headway since our newbie days (sniffle, sniffle). First off, great opener....gets us right into the thick of things.... Then the lift...another cool combo...Second line in particular is terrific: Think it’s time to put you on the shelfThen, I know this is probably a dumb question (I missed the whole thing on Steve's "Margaret Dances" )....but just what is she asking him to do? Are you being purposely innocuous? :o AAARGH, right from my fellow-song-challenger....gadzooks! Well, anyhoo, it sounds like she's an ungrateful Witch, and he should dump her pronto. BTW, on the bridge...to tighten it up a bit, might you want to say: Bridge The evidence is clear as you stand accused This ole broken heart’s tired of BEING USED I think that might be a rhyming no-no, since used is part of accused, but all's fair in love and song challenges!! Thanks so much for playing Derek...and hopefully there'll be plent of songs for you to comment on.... Ciao for now, Betharoo
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Beth, These are great so far! ...I'll try to come up with something...why oh why....hmmmmm....
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Tell Me Why
So many years ago, when she took you away, The pain that I felt just wouldn't go away,
Chorus:Tell me why,Tell me why it is that way, Tell me why,Tell me why you couldn't stay,
As I walked in this life of mine,I often thought of you, I wondered just how you felt,and what I meant to you, Chorus As the years wandered by,I often heard your name, I wondered what I would say to you,If the time ever came, Chorus Today I got a call from you,from out of the blue, I felt my heart skip a beat,as I talked awhile with you, Chorus The time now is coming soon,when I'll see you again, Now I know what I'll say,When I see you again,
ALT CHORUS:Tell me why, Tell me why it took so long, Tell me why,Tell me why we're back where we belong , Tell me why...,Tell me why....out
(C)John Baker 2/18/2008 I wrote this for my daughter I hadn't seen in 22yrs
Last edited by AJ Baker; 08/02/08 03:23 AM.
Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
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Why © words and music by C. Stewart ( July 11, 2008 ) no music yet ! Why don't the flowers grow No water in the ground Why don't the music play Did we turn off the sound Why don't we ever talk Nothing left to say Why did we trade sunshine For colors that are grey CHORUS... Empty smiles Useless hugs Spinning gears In a wasted love Why, I'll never know why Why is living so hard The party fell apart How long has it been Since I've been in your heart CHORUS... Empty smiles Useless hugs Spinning gears In a wasted love Why, I'll never know why INSTRUMENTAL.... CHORUS... Empty smiles Useless hugs Spinning gears In a wasted love Why, I'll never know why http://ww.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hey Kristi,
Thanks for checking to see how things are going so far...
Have a good time this weekend, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with for this one!
Ciao for now, Beth
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Well AJ,
Obviously, this is an emotionally-charged piece for you. And though unaware of the circumstances, let me say how happy I am for both of you that you've been reunited with your daughter.
For general listening purposes, though, I think you'd have needed to flush the story out a bit. When you start out by saying...
So many years ago you were taken away
...I made the assumption that she died. So when I get to the part about her calling to you, I was a bit confused. Was she calling you from the beyond? Your heart "skipping a beat" seemed like a strange reaction to impending death. Are you now joined in death?
Perhaps if you were to just to change a word or two it might be clearer:
So long ago when SHE took you away
BUT, given the nature of this song, and for whom it was written, I would not be so presumptuous as to suggest you tamper with it in any way.
Thank you so much for sharing this very personal and special song with us.
Take care, Beth
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Morning Calvin, My, this is a sad one. Your writing, as always, is very careful, but in this particular case, the starkness underscores the bleakness of the relationship you describe. And yet, you're able to jam-pack it with image after image after mournful image. Right off the bat, an arrow straight to the heart: Why don't the flowers grow No water in the ground I'm not sure I want to hear the music on this one... But regardless, thank you for sharing. Ciao for now, Beth
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HELP!! I wrote this down and now I'm STUCK!! LOL!!
"I Already Know Why" (c) 2007 by Dave Gill
I wait to hear you whisper as I wake up in the morning wearing nothing but a smile and search the blankets for your feet. Was I snoring loud my darling? If I was then I am sorry. What a night we had together Would you like something to eat?
I've never had a night like that before. I wonder if I ever will again. If there's a chance that we could have some more All I need to know is Where and When.
I already know Why It's right there on your face like a beacon in the sky leading to a better place As I hold you in my arms I'm so happy I could cry There's no doubt to what I'm feeling and I already know Why
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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Hi Jean, Another addition to the mix..... "Why"(c)2008 Lynn Orloff We used to have it all, Or so I thought we did, Until I heard from someone, That they caught you in a kiss. Please tell me why you had to look in her direction, Then tell me why you had to give her your affection, Don’t ask me why I look so sad, don’t ask me why I need to cry, If you just look into a mirror I’m sure you’ll see the reason why.You had an indiscretion, You say you now regret, You tell me that it’s over, But I just can’t forget. Just tell me why you had to look in her direction, Then tell me why you had to give her your affection, Don’t ask me why I look so sad, don’t ask me why I need to cry, If you just look into the mirror I’m sure you’ll see the reason why.Bridge:You tell me that you love me and you never meant to harm, But when I close my eyes at night, I see you in her arms…. Just tell me why you had to look in her direction, Then tell me why you had to give her your affection, Don’t ask me why I look so sad, don’t ask me why I need to cry, If you just look into a mirror, I’m sure you’ll see the reason why.
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Aw Dave, What a sweet contribution. It's sorta bizarre, we seem to have two ends of the spectrum from the boys on the board these days -- either rascally or romantic! Personally, I swing both ways, so tend to be satisfied all the time (that didn't come out the way it sounds... !) My favorite line is this.... and search the blankets for your feet.....how true to life is that?! I also like you how you presented the story via stream of consciousness. So thanks for playing...And, I hope someone helped you get UNStuck!! Ciao for now, Beth
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Hi Lynn, Goodness gracious, do my eyes deceive me? :o Or is this an original lyric for a song-challenge? You have such a reservoir of songs to draw from, you incredibly seem to find one to fit the bill on every occasion (which I did myself this time -- I'm in no way knocking it!). Either way, I'm happy to have you join the party! So let me see...ah, deception. It's interesting how different people have taken the "Why?" to ask a sad question while others have chosen happy ones... Anyhoo, I like the last couplet of the chorus: Don’t ask me why I look so sad, don’t ask me why I need to cry, If you just look into a mirror I’m sure you’ll see the reason why.The last line of the first verse is a bit awkward to me, though. I thought the "someone" was kissing your man....and THEY is plural, so doesn't match the singular "someone"....maybe something like this?.... We used to have it all, Or so I thought we did, Until I heard some friends Had seen you steal a kiss I think you could probably tighten up the chorus a bit too....though the length of the lines does set up a nice contrast to the verses.... So in closing, let me thank you for playing...and please be sure to kick this guy to the curb! Cheers, Beth
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Hammer,
If you'd like to contribute to this particular song challenge, the parameter is to incorporate the word "Why?" in your title.
If you'd like to comment on a given song, you're welcome to do so....but it's much easier to respond to the comments when you cite specifics.
Finally, aside from being rude, a singular negative remark like that isn't remotely helpful.
Beth
Last edited by Beth G. Williams; 07/12/08 05:16 AM.
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Hi Beth, Thanks once again for your tenacious attention to each line and as usual you are once again correct in your suggestion for the first verse. I admit feeling alittle uncomfortable with that particular line. Yes this was one I worked up last minute to contribute to the cause and also because I do think these challenges are infact good exercise and fun as well. Thanks for keeping things active here Beth! Best, Lynn Have a good day.
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Hey Betharoo! Great little song here deary... wow it really is revealing to the private little areas of your life. I must commend you for having such a strong and fiesty spirit considering the crappy hand life has dealt you! Know this that at the end of it all what matters most is those that love you... your family and friends! ((((((((((((BETH)))))))))))) xoxoxoxo great song challenge by the way
Last edited by Derek Hines; 07/13/08 11:52 AM.
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Wow Stanamigo! Great approach for this challenge... exploring the mystery of the word why! There are so many whys but one would wonder if the reason is how we know when who did what and where? Although I might be mistaken . I love your little commenteries on life in regards to why also how and where you use it and when it's necessary. What a great song! Where do you come up with your ideas? Who gives them to you ? Derek
Last edited by Derek Hines; 07/13/08 11:59 AM.
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Hey Gill
That's a really cool song you have written! I'm sorry you got stuck, but wow such a story and I love your hook! Also like the searching for feet line and snoring (makes it all the more like reality and less like hollywoods version lol) Derek
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Hammer Beth happens to be the nicer of the two of us and I feel she handled the situation with aplomb; however, I am not Beth . If you have nothing better to do with your "oh so valuable time" than to run other peoples work into the ground with one single word... then I have some words for you. Actually no just one F- you! the other is just a letter. Please everyone forgive me, but this guy has no class whatsoever. Derek
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Hi Lynn
Very emotional song you've come up with and while your singer does come across a little sad... I've been there and I've felt those same feelings and you did a good job of capturing that emotions here. Thanks you for gracing us with this well written ode to the love lorn! Derek
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Okay. You asked for this, remember.
This is *rap*, of all things--and I don't do rap. This is proably evidence why I *should* not do rap. But as I was thinking about the challenge--Y is a letter of the alphabet, after all--I couldn't help imagining how a rapper would recite the ABC's. And got this.
Joe
ALPHABET WITHOUT U --By JaY-DuByA da Rappah
INTRO: Boys and girls, I’m going to sing you a song And if you listen real close you can all sing along Some of the lines might even rhyme Just like rap does some of the time You learned the alphabet when we were kids But you prob’ly never heard it sung like this:
CHORUS: ‘Ay! Be SEEdy! EeyeffgeeyaitcheyejaykayelemENohpee (tha’s right) Cue! AressTEA! VeedubleyouexwhyZEE! Where’s U? U meant a lot to me And U R gone No reason Y that I can C Been missing U Ever since U left And without U around U destroyed my alphabet.
1. There’s no UPPERS without U Got no UNDERWEAR without you Can’t get it UP, or RUN it in, or see it THROUGH Can’t be TOUGH without U Can’t have ENOUGH without U And there isn’t any STUFF that I can do A HOUSE is just a HOSE without U. (memorized that alphabet yet? Here it comes…)
CHORUS: ‘Ay! Be SEEdy! EeyeffgeeyaitcheyejaykayelemENohpee (tha’s right) Cue! AressTEA! VeedubleyouexwhyZEE! Where’s U? Where the **** U go? I been asking Y, but no reply And the guys say he don’t know Sure, I used you—but we had FUN I can’t say some of the things we done But without U there’s no SUN I can’t STUMBLE, I can’t RUN Lots of things don’t look right without U.
2. There’s no TUPPERWARE without U (and that’s not a bad thing, y’know) There ain’t no CHURCHES, too And life can’t really SUCK without U there Do I need U? U R just one letter Can’t count past twenty without my pecker It might be hell, but oh, well Who expects a rapper knows how to spell? Without you, I’ve still got MONEY and I’ve still got AIR (You ready? You KNOW you can sing along with this…)
CHORUS: ‘Ay! [‘Ay!] Be SEEdy! [Be SEEdy!] EeyeffgeeyaitcheyejaykayelemENohpee [WHAT?] Cue! [TENTATIVELY: Cue?] AressTEA! [TEA!] VeedubleyouexwhyZEE! [APPLAUSE] Where’s U? I don’t C U… Y’know, I comes before U in that alphabet Way before, with a lot of letters in between So we gotta take care of I first And by the time we get to U Might not even notice U ain’t there Might not even ask Y He don’t know nothing anyway
3. Think I’ll swagger down to my favorite joint And take my pool stick and make some coin And talk trash to my friends while I’m taking their money And keep my eyes open for a brand new honey (And I can do all those things without mentioning U) Till I’m seeing double—but it won’t be a double U. (Ready for the alphabet one more time?)
CHORUS: ‘Ay! [‘Ay!] Be SEEdy! [Be SEEdy!] EeyeffgeeyaitcheyejaykayelemENohpee [WHAT?] Cue! [TENTATIVELY: Cue?] AressTEA! [TEA!] VeedubleyouexwhyZEE! [APPLAUSE] Where’s U? Who cares? I can get along without U… [FADE]
© 2008 J. Wrabek dba Outside Services Ltd. All the usual rights reserved just in case. You try to rip this rap off and the homies are coming after you. Be cool.
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Hey Joe Thanks for gracing our little challenge (actually Beth got this one started )with this Gem of a lyric! Very well done on many levels. Especially the whicked satire. Joe you put Cheech and Chong and wierd Al to shame! Derek
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Hi jm, I really like the lyrics on this peice.I wish i could hear the music.I am a solo act right now Play in open mics .I'm suppose to do some recording tuesday.Maybe I can hear it on less restrictive computer. AJ
Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
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Alright...just havin' a little fun now... Thanks for keeping us on our toes! Don’t Ask Me Why ©2008 Kristi McKeever You wonder why My eyes are baggy My face is pale But I am so happy You can’t believe I didn’t cook dinner I’ve lost my mind But I feel like a winner (ch) Don’t ask me why See I’m a mom Lady King Kong Hear me roar When I see you score I meet the teachers And warm the bleachers Wash your clothes And wipe your nose Why, why, why Cuz mom’s sacrifice Don’t ask me why I’m always running But you say I’m late Too much to do But I think it’s great The kitchen has ants There’s mountains of clothes But I don’t care For you anything goes (ch) Don’t ask me why See I’m a mom Lady King Kong Hear me roar When I see you score I meet the teachers And warm the bleachers Wash your clothes And wipe your nose Why, why, why Cuz mom’s sacrifice Don’t ask me why (br) I want a first class seat And an Irish coffee How about a day of beauty And a drink that’s fruity Repeat Chorus
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Hi Lynn, Nice song if it has music like the lyrics.I wouldn't worry about critics who use one word to critique your work. AJ
Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
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Hi Kristi,
Interesting work that you have here an ode to the over worked MOM.This is good work though because everyones tale needs to be told and appreciated. AJ
Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
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Hey Joe, Like I said to yo_ in my e-mail, this is f_cking brilliant. Parody is a very delicate and challenging process -- but yo_'ve capt_red the essence of rap perfectly. And to _se the alpabet as yo_r s_bject -- with children (the antithesis of rap) as yo_r intended a_dience -- is sheer geni_s. I can't start p_lling o_t favorite lines...beca_se I wo_ld basically be c_tting and pasting the whole thing. _ R de MAN! Thanks so m_ch for sharing, Beth P.S. SOMEBODY HAS GOT TO P_T THIS TO M_SIC!!!
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Hey Brecky! Yay, you sorta used my idea! You clearly put all of your "leisure" time this weekend to good use -- ha ha. For everyone reading this, please know that Kristi is the epitome of humbleness. I have heard about some of the mommy hoops she's jumped thru, so personally, I think she needs more than a couple of shots of booze. If it weren't for the current on-going JPF fundraiser, I was going to suggest a bake sale to surprise her with a full body massage !( though perhaps we might get a few members here to offer their services, to help offset some of the cost). HEE HEE HEE Anyhoo, as to the song, it's great. And like I said, it doesn't begin to tell the story of all you do. But for your purposes here, I think you've balanced the complaining with the worthiness of your plight perfectly. You have taken an unusually Calvinesque approach to your lyrics too, which is fun to see for a change. STILL, would you mind if I poke around with it a bit (I'm getting much more particular in these challenges...no free rides!! )? I BET you wonder why My eyes are baggy My face is pale clothes don't match But I'M am so STILL happy I BET you can’t believe I didn’t cook forgot to cook dinner I’ve lost my mindThe dog still needs walking Yet I feel like a winner (ch) Don’t ask me why 'CUZ I DO TRY... See I’m a mom Lady King Kong Hear me roar When I see you score I meet the teachers And warm the bleachers Wash your clothes And wipe your nose Why, why, why Cuz mom’s sacrifice Don’t ask me why I’m always running But you say AND I'M GENERALLY late ALWAYS too much to do But I'M CONTENT WITH MY FATE think it’s greatThe kitchen has ants There’s mountains of clothes But I don’t care For you anything THAT'S JUST HOW LIFE goes (ch) Don’t ask me why 'CUZ I DO TRY See I’m a mom Lady King Kong Hear me roar When I see you score I meet the teachers And warm the bleachers Wash your clothes And wipe your nose Why, why, why Cuz mom’s sacrifice Don’t ask me why (br) I want a first class seatSTILL I WOULDN'T MIND A PEDICURE A SHOPPING SPREE WOULD HELP FOR SURE A CHEF, A CHAUFFEUR AND A MAID A TALL SPIKED GLASS OF LEMONADE How about a day of beauty And a drink that’s fruityRepeat Chorus Natch, cookie, this is all KOS...just felt it needed a little tightening up....not sure if this helps at all...but is just some food for thought. Most importantly, thank you for your contribution to the challenge!! Ciao for now, Beth
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Interesting work that you have here an ode to the over worked MOM.This is good work though because everyones tale needs to be told and appreciated. AJ AJ, I want to thank you for your nice words! Your lyric is quite hearfelt...and also couldn't hurt (imo) from adding more to it as Beth mentioned....thanks for sharing that. (btw, nice to meet you! ) Kristi ...I was going to suggest a bake sale to surprise her with a full body massage... Beth! Oh my goodness! Just a massage? How about a whole spa treatment!?! Yes,I used your idea of just letting the mom thing out (glad you noticed) would you mind if I poke around with it a bit and YOU being a mom yourself, what better person to add to it! But I'm glad you see that I'm not just complaining...I hope that balance is in there.Your additions are priceless....I like how you did the cross out thingee too...it's helpful to compare...Great stuff Beth! Don't know about the word "bet" because I "know" this information to be true!! LOL (maybe for creative purposes..HA) How about the dog is whining? I think you need to put your name on here as a cowriter my dear! Seriously. Can you imagine what might come out if we REALLY thought about it? Scary thought actually! HA HA Thanks for your thoughtful words, though I can say the same for you! Kristi
Last edited by Kristi McKeever; 07/14/08 11:19 PM.
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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Goodness, isn't this on page two yet?
Maybe someone can write a about the whole JPF Challenge and the problems precipitating it. Like "Why I Burnt My Toast While I Was Trying to Post"....
Okay, scott you silly thing....
Beth
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Sounds like a rap to me. However, I think I'm swearing off rap. Once was enough. (Besides, there's too much swearing *in* rap, anyway.)
joe
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Perhaps, Joe,
But frankly, I think you outdid yourself with that last one anyway...I wouldn't even TRY to replicate it in any shape or form!
Cheers, Beth
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Hi Beth, its been a while,i will try to tell you why.hope all is well. Why does my computer fail when i need it the most to log on to my favorite site the one called just plain folks I ask a round and someone said a cookie crawled inside well i still dont get it so i ask you why please tell me why. chorus i get on to my myspace and my email is a breese i search and go on many sites they let me in with ease but every time i come back to say hi and post a song that liitle cookie i cant eat logs me out on its own. Why its letting me stay now I guess i'll never know i'll take advantage of this time to let everybody know i have a new song up on myspace "I WANT TO CRAWL INSIDE OF YOU" ITs not called why, i dont know why but i hope it sticks inside of you. www.myspace.com/annedeyosingersongwriter
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Hey Anne, You are a riot. Thank you so much for taking up the second level of Challenge on this Challenge! I dare say, everyone will be able to relate to this one...(sad but true )... Personally, I don't understand that whole cookie business either ....like you said, they're for eating! One little nit....second line chorus, need to correct spelling of breese to breeze . Finally, kudos to you for cleverly incorporating a bit of self-promotion there at the end. Will definitely go check it out! Good to "see" you again, Beth
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You are so sweet,and thanks.
All the best Anne.
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Beth, I think I know what I can do with the rap. (No, *before* the trash can.) A friend of mine in southern Oregon hosts a Poetry Slam (an opportunity for a bunch of poets (what would you call that? a "chorus"?) to get together, drink too much, and listen to each other's verses. I could go, tell 'em to just imagine the bump-bumps and scritch-scritches, and do my JaY-DuByA routine. I think I'd have it down (heck, I had it down as I was *writing* it).
Joe
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Hey Anne,
My pleasure...don't be such a stranger!!
Cheers, Beth
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My goodness Joe, First of all--SLAMMIN' idea! Second, if you don't have someone videotape it or at least record it, that would be a darn darn shame. The song has already taken on a life of it's own...wouldn't it be a fun one to perform at Piney fest next year (hear that, Bobbelina...we already have your opening act! )? Honestly, it would great to let us to hear you "perform" this one. Do you have a special outfit you could wear? Any big gold chains that say JPF or something? Regardless, GOOD LUCK! I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to hear this live. Cheers in advance! Beth
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Beth, I'll ask the fellow who hosts these things, but I doubt anybody videotapes them. I expect the response I'll get is "Hey, man, we're poets!" That's usually a good explanation for not being willing (or able) to do anything.
No, I wouldn't do any costume, or anything. All I need is attitude. I'd just hike my pants further down toward my knees, slick back my bald spot like it had hair on it, and rap at 'em. It'll either work or not.
Joe
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