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Foray
by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 12:11 AM
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Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen (and to the bulk of the rest of you too ! ), As some of you have noted in the Shout Box, Derek and I have been chatting about a new song challenge. I thought he was going to post it...but I must have misunderstood as I haven't seen anything...and unable to reach him, I've decided to take the bull by the horns, and try to stir up some muses right now! Okay. Since everyone seemed to have so much fun with Skip's last challenge, we thought it would be fun to do something similar. However, knowing we could never replicate the zaniness of poultry and leather, we've opted to go for the "Same Title/Different Lyrics" theme, but with a more humble beginning. So without further ado, the parameter for this challenge is as follows: Come up with a lyric using the title "Something's Missing"While the obvious choice for this would be some form of LOVE/PASSION (and that isn't to say DON'T use that), there are a lot of other fun options. Let me toss out a few, to get your muse juices flowing: a wallet Nanna your memory your clothes the keys to the car the $5000 you took to Vegas the letter "s" on your keyboard toilet paper a good candidate for President (touchy!) your two front teeth your ability to rhyme your muse your sanity your underwear your saddles and chickens (As you might have surmised, the idea for this stemmed from my song "Bad Sock, Good Sock"... I'll be working on a new one too, but just didn't want to wait any longer to get this one going.) SO LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN!!!! HAVE FUN!!!!! Beth & Derek P.S. For those new to the board, you've heard the parameters. Derek and I generally make some comments/perhaps nits on the entries, and others are welcome to join in the conversations. If a song seems to elicit a lot of interest and/or the author would like additional comprehensive commentary,he/she is welcome to begin a new thread for it. We look forward to seeing what you come up with!!!
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Good idea Beth. We did this on Dan Gray's Freedom Exchange songwriting site a few years ago. After picking a winner in the lyric category we did another challenge where different people made it into their own original song musically. There was no winner for that part of the challenge, just for the lyric.
Then they made a CD and put it out with all the songs on it. It was really neat to hear so many different takes musically on the same lyric. It went from Country to acoustic folk, folk rock to one sounding a bit like the Beatles. Two or three even had music videos put on the CD of them recording the song in their basement studios. It was really cool. I've still got the CD. Unfortunately I came late for the party and didn't participate.
Steve
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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I just couldn't help myself (Well, I prob'ly "coulda") <G> Wy (Mud)
Something's Missing
He had this nagging feeling All those last long miles Somehow I feel incomplete I just don't know what it could be
He knew he had his wallet It was safe and sound But still something wasn't right He could not put it from his mind
C Something's missing I know there has to be What is my subconscious mind Trying to say to me Come on and tell me You're not being fair Oh Lord it's My underwear
Wild horses could not drag Any names from me But it will not hurt I guess If I mentioned Pineyfest
Something's missing I know there has to be What is my subconscious mind Trying to say to me Come on and tell me You're not being fair Oh Lord it's My underwear
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Hey Steve,
That sounds like a lot of fun. It appears that Skip will be making some form of compilation for the Chicken/Saddle songs...
So you're not too late for this one, so get going and have fun!
Beth
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Hey Y! You are a naughty naughty boy! Someone must alert Al David to your brazen throwing-down of the musical gauntlet! Of course my first thought, after I realized where you were going, was to come back and change the word "nagging" to "sagging" ...but I suppose that's between Al, Helen and his Fruit of the Looms! Thanks for starting things off in such an UNDERstated way... Cheers, Beth
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Thanks, Beth. Just 'cause I was so antsy about it doesn't mean I'll have something right away.
If the letter "s" was missing from my keyboard, I'd just substitute something else, I think. "Qomething'q Miqqing," as it were. I don't know if people would even notice.
I've already done missing underwear, so I won't go there. (And Al, people all over the west coast now know your name--briefly, as it were.)
Joe
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Hee hee hee, Joe.
That's what I like about these challenges too....the inane commentary along the way! You got me with that "brief" line...aw, NUTS!
Have fun! Beth
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Now Al, "I" didn't mention any names BethieBoo let the cat out of the bag "She's" the guilty party <G>Wy (Mud)
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'Tis true Al... But while I was the one who let the cat out of the bag.... Wyman was the one who put the bug in my ear... ! Boo
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"Something's Missing" (c) 2007 by Dave Gill
Where did it go? Where could it be? It was just right here in front of me It's disappeared.
Well ain't that weird?
I've looked every place that I can think Under the bed and the kitchen sink. It's just not there.
Well this ain't fair
The neighbors probably think I've gone insane. Staring at me like I've lost my mind. Something's missing but it is not my brain. And I've always heard that "Seek and ye shall find"
Inside out and upside down The house, the yard the school playground They've all been searched
I fear the worst
My friends and family all help out But none of them have news about where it could be
Oh woe is me
I can't help thinking its location's near But when I look it's nowhere to be found. Something's missing. Gone for good I fear. Maybe it just don't want to be found?
Maybe it just don't want to be found.....
"Where there's a Gill, there's a way"
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Hey Dave,
First off, thanks for playing...
Secondly, this is killer. You totally had me lulled into Dr. Seuss land..and then you left me high and dry! I'm now thinking Shel Silverstein (whom it seems I keep mentioned lately, for one reason or another).
Still, I'm thinkin' it's the TV remote -- he loss of which would surely result in the loss of many a man's tolerance for watching two ball games simultaneously!
Thanks again, that was fun!
Beth
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It looks like all is acceptable so I will gravitate toward convention being the hopeless romantic and offer this Beth... "Something's Missing" (c)2008 Lynn OrloffSomething’s missing, The feeling’s not the same, Ashes tend to smolder, When we used to feel the flame. Yes, something’s missing, Babe I’m sure you feel it too, But I don’t want to let you go, There’s one thing left to do… Let’s start again, pretend that we just met, And all the pain and hurt, we’ll try hard to forget, We used to have it all, so let’s not let it slip away, Whatever’s missing, I know we’ll find again someday.Something’s different, I feel the coldness grow, But two hearts still determined, Can bring back love’s warm glow. Yes, something’s missing, It happened over time, I somehow do believe, It won’t be hard to find…...so Let's start again, pretend that we just met, And all the pain and hurt, we'll try hard to forget, We used to have it all, so let's not let it slip away, Whatever's missing, I know we'll find again someday.BridgeI’m not giving up on love, no not so easily, I only ask you darling, that you don't give up on me... Final Chorus Let's start again, pretend that we just met, And all the pain and hurt, we'll try hard to forget, We used to have it all so please don't let it slip away, Whatever's missing, I hope we'll find again someday, Whatever's missing, I know we'll find again someday.
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Something's Missing
I went to the missing persons bureau to look for the ghost of Henry David Thoreau the man behind the desk said relax, pull up some slack his ghost is under the table, avoiding real estate tax
I went downtown to porno square to see if I could find, a real woman there something to perk my perker up but all I found was cellulite dust
something's missing and it's a reality check something's missing in a world that's unpolitically correct
I decided to go to the think tank man at the door said sorry no thanks we're not accepting new subcribers last year there were no survivors
it's kinda like heaven folk's are dying to get in it's kinda like hell fire and brimstone but something's missing
something's missing and it's a reality check something's missing in a world that's unpolitically correct
my memory is slowly going something's missing but the fun is...in...not knowing...
© 2008 by rittmo'
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Hi Lynn
I like hopeless romantic pieces, I might add a tag
who knows, maybe today!
rittmo'
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Hey Lynn & Ritt,
Could only come on for a sec...will be on later, thanks for playing!!!
Ciao for now, Beth
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Great job Dave, Richard and Lynn, I really enjoyed those! Beth thanks for the challenge, needed a break from other song and this was sooooo much fun! Looking forward to your next one! HUGS! Heres my attempt:
Somthing's Missin!
On our first date we walked beneath the stars, In the trees on lovers lane, away fom all the cars, I held you in my arms, slid me hand behind your back, You hauled off and slapped me, but your bra was still intact! You cussed me like a sailor, til it hurt my ears to listen. Had my suspicions of youuu... I knew! ... somthings missin!
Chorus: When you come in from your second job, suppers always late! Yeah someday I'll get a Job, but what is pro-crast-in-ate? You know Im busy with the guys, drinkin beer and goin fishin! So what you tryin to tell me when you say... somethings missin? So what you tryin to tell me when you say... somethings missin?
Chances are I had one to many beers, Was driving your car home and missed a couple gears That car was six months old, guess transmission's just wear out The damage to the grill, was the wreckers fault no doubt! Dont you worry bout that sound, just your radiator hissin! Looked for all the peices butttt ... I think... somethings missin!
Chorus Repeat:
Well today at the store I was supprised! Never knew an A T M, was capable of lies! Got blisters on my feet, every step just makes me groan! The celllphone woudnt work, had to walk all the way home! Note there said which part of you, I should make a try at kissin! Think if I tried to look for youuuu.... I'd find... somthing missin!
Chorus Repeat:
Tag: I just cant figure out what it isss.... somthings missin!
Copyright 2008 Michael E. Bacon
If I write from my heart, the song will have life. If heart felt music is added, it allows my words to touch hearts, then it has hope. And if it sung by a voice that the music and words truely touch, it will have a soul, and if it has a soul it will touch thousands!
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Michael
it's raining macadamia nuts!!!
rittmo'
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Hahahahahaha! Life is GOOOOOD!
If I write from my heart, the song will have life. If heart felt music is added, it allows my words to touch hearts, then it has hope. And if it sung by a voice that the music and words truely touch, it will have a soul, and if it has a soul it will touch thousands!
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Hey Lynn!! So nice of you to join the party..it's been a while it seems! I have been negligent in Song Challenge duties, I must admit... Anyway, I wasn't sure if anyone would dismiss the more obscure notions, and try to trick me by playing it straight....well AHA! Lo and behold, here you are, Lynn the Love-Lover.... All I can say is there can never be enough love songs...especially when they offer some hope.... That is my Official Response. (Unofficially, I really liked the bridge, too -- HAH! ) Thanks again for participating, Beth
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Hey there Ritt, Wow, this is a cool one, on many levels. And considering the amount of mostly harmless banter that goes on around here, your chorus speaks VOLUMES: something's missing and it's a reality check something's missing in a world that's unpolitically correct I never thought I would say I liked a phrase such as "cellulite dust", but it is quite a vivid image (in a 2D black and white sort of way...) Your bridge is pretty heavy-duty. I wonder how many times can we compare and contrast Heaven and Hell....but in this case, it works nicely. It's ironic, too, that your song should fall just beneath Lynn's. The cynicism in yours lies in stark contrast to the hope in hers . THIS IS WHY I LOVE SONG CHALLENGES (well, one of the reasons...)!!!! Thanks for playing, Ritt Beth
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Hey Michael, Glad you could mosey on over and set a spell. These challenges are intended primarily for fun and exercise, so there are no right or wrong answers.... Although I've gotta say, you've already given away the answer to one of the important questions: and that is -- you are gonna fit in with this gang just FINE. Anyhoo, your song's a keeper -- in that "life's-a-bitch-then-you-marry-one" sort of way !! Normally, I would have to defend the honor of woman kind, but this is your first go-round, and as Joe Wrabek would likely say, no housewives were hurt in the making of this song. Regarding the whole fishing-beer business...in your opinion, at the end of a long day out on the boat, which would you say makes the other harder to do? Finally, as much as I've enjoyed hanging with you boys (excluding Lynn, of course), I have a confession to make: I don't understand Ritt's comment about the macadamia nuts. Alright, there, I've said it . I won't waste more ink speculating...if any of you would care to enlighten this song challengeress (?), I'd be much obliged. And I might even go a bit easier on your next challenge entry!!! Cheers, Beth
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Had to weigh in here. (Hi, Beth.) The two go together. Like the old proverb says (originally Chinese, I think):
Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll drink beer for a lifetime.
Joe
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Thanks Beth I think to explain my take on the Macadamia Nuts, Id have to guess were meant to go with the beer! ('Cause they sure aint no good at usin' fer bait!)LOL! As for the which makes the other harder between fishing and beer?... that depends soley on how many are left in the cooler! Have a great day! Mike
If I write from my heart, the song will have life. If heart felt music is added, it allows my words to touch hearts, then it has hope. And if it sung by a voice that the music and words truely touch, it will have a soul, and if it has a soul it will touch thousands!
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So what you're saying Joe, is that "tossing one back" isn't always a bad thing?
Thanks, buddy...you're never too old to learn.
Beth
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You're gonna have to do better than that to keep up with this crowd, Michael! The fish go IN the cooler, the beer come OUT....so which is it??? (although I will give you bonus points for sneaking SOLE-ly into the equation....clever, very clever INDEED!) And finally, thank you for your take on Ritt's nuts ....I was worried it might be some sort of reference to "Deliverance" .... Ciao for now, Beth
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Ok beth you got me! but please understand I was giving you my take on the Macadamia Nuts.... not Ritt's! That WOULD be too close to "Deleverance" for me! If at the end of the day the fish are bountyful and biting on every cast of your line, and if the sun is setting slowly atop far distant majestic mountains while turning to a firey red glow that spreads across the heavens in such splendor that any person who cast a weary eye upon such beauty would shead tears of heartfelt joy and reverance to the creator and HIS Miricles of universal awe, and if I were to find that after feeling around in in among the fish, ice and cold water that there was only one beer left in the cooler.... ITS TIME TO GO! Better? Mike
If I write from my heart, the song will have life. If heart felt music is added, it allows my words to touch hearts, then it has hope. And if it sung by a voice that the music and words truely touch, it will have a soul, and if it has a soul it will touch thousands!
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WELL, Michael, I didn't want to spoil your fun prematurely, but that Hallmark meets LL Bean paragraph is EXACTLY how I envisioned it too!! Weird, huh? BTW, I love fishing -- deep sea, for blues, with umbrella hooks. But they're fighters, for sure. One of my first times out, I was with a bunch of clients, and we had all had a few (drinks, not clients or bluefish), and in a misguided attempt to show off my fishing prowess, I casted off....and caught me a mean one -- more specifically, a low-flying seagull! Yup, now I prefer my fish cooked and on a plate, thank you very much. Finally, no worries about any alleged nuts -- macadamia, Ritt's or otherwise. But I'm afraid it will have to go into my report... ! Nighty-night...I'm typed out... Beth
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HIdee Mz O & Herewegooo...
Nice Guy came in my Clock Shop He Needed Several Parts I found 'em in My Toolbox But that was Just a Start Looked Down at his Pantleg Saw Pink Plastic & Some Steel One was All-Synthetic & His Other-One was Real...
(CHORUS) SOMETHING'S MISSING Since His Harley had a Crash SOMETHING'S MISSING Lots of Toes & His Love-Match SOMETHING'S MISSING His Ex-Wife took His Good Bike SOMETHING'S MISSING (But, What's Left, There's Lots-to-Like!)
Went off to the VA Needed Ointment for My Eyes Waitin' in The Waitin' Room when Both Doors Opened-Wide Kid Came in On A Gurney Not-More-than-19 The Trouble with His Vision Was the Least that I Could See
(CHORUS) SOMETHING'S MISSING Since He Went Off to Iraq SOMETHING'S MISSING But at least He Made It Back SOMETHING'S MISSING Since He Heard that I-E-D SOMETHING'S MISSING From his Toes up to his Knees
(BRIDGE) And I Thank God..I got All of Mine Left I Thank God...& I Appreciate My Gifts I Thank God...That, so far, I AM Complete My Walk May NOT be Comfy, But at least, I HAVE both Feet.
A Friend of mine's An Atheist I've known him All My Life He's Kinda gotten-Bitter Since He Parted from his Wife He Has an Inner Anger & It's Blossomed into Hate 'Could Use a Higher Power (But He's Chalked-It-Up to Fate)
(CHORUS) SOMETHING'S MISSING Life's Revolved around Himself SOMETHING'S MISSING & Affects his Mental Health SOMETHING'S MISSING When He Never Sees-The-Light (He's Got ALL His PARTS, But He NEVER Feels Alright...'cuz
SOMETHING'S MISSING.)
(C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI All Rights Reserved.
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Stan, that's real nice. Thank you.
Joe
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Thankee Bro Joe! I've met these 2 Amputees in just 2 days...the kid this AM just HADDA go into a Song...he was SO damn strong, considering What Life Had Done To Him. Both his parents were with him...ALL looked like they were handling it the Best They Could. But it was SO obvious he had a Long Road Ahead. Wars are Such Poignant Hell...close-up & personal.
I've seen a few Vets in even worse shape than the 19-yr-old there. They always remind me of Sacrifices-Made, & Men-Forgotten...so I was really Glad for This Opportunity, & again, Thanks Challenge-Makers, for helpin' me Clear Out Accounts-Owing this eve!
Big Guy-Hug, Ol' Stan
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listen here if you'd like to... http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewartSomething's Missing © words and music by C. Stewart ( June 25, 2008 ) Something's missing So I hear I ain't got my Big left ear Something's missing Strangers ask me Where'd it go Searcing for my Big left toe Something's missing CHORUS.... And don't start an arguement with me Can't you see I'm one sided I'd like to think that I'm always right Something's Missing Gone I guess Rght arms here but Not my left Something's Missing Didn't use it All that much Hitchin' rides and Eatin' lunch Something's Missing CHORUS.... And don't start an arguement with me Can't you see I'm one sided I'd like to think that I'm always right BRIDGE... Even when I'm wrong I'm always right Even when I'm wrong I'm always right CHORUS.... And don't start an arguement with me Can't you see one sided I'd like to think that I'm always right I'm right
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Hey Stan, Boy, sorta puts it all into perspective first thing in the morning, huh? I think as "artists" we tend to be extra-observant, and in this case, it really paid off for you. Not so much that it gave you an offering for this challenge, but more that you could bear witness to these different struggles. I thought it was important, too, that you CITED ( ) the last example. Just because the problem isn't visible to the naked eye, doesn't mean it's not difficult. Plus, it keeps the song from being overly sensational. I read what you wrote beneath Joe's response...gut-wrenching. Thank you for sharing these stories. Jackie
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Hey, Mz O..we're all "Conduits"...& I.O.U. (& Derek) for these Wonnaful Excuses to get some of this Stuff Inside "Out There".
(I confess, I am gettin' WAY too-preachy of-late...so I'm startin' on one titled "I Love A Good Chicken Joke"...& NEED some Fast, if you've heard any!)
Didn't mean to whup ya TOO hard on "cite"...heh! It's a tricky one, ain't it? ;-)> Let's see...the (Seven?) Deadliest:
Your/You're To/Too/Two Its/It's Lay/Lie Who's/Whose There/They're/Their Sight/Site/Cite
Oh..and "Lose/Loose"..(almost forgot!)
Feel free to add-in a few more...but these Babies I see all the time & I'm sure Editors go bald after reading lyric after lyric with 'em in it, abused.
Off to Nappy-Time!(For an hour or two..I hope!) Big G'nity Hugs, Mz O!~ Stan
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Morning Cal,
Hmmm, another interesting transition from one song to the next....
And speaking of contrast, I was surprised by the music on this one. Lyrically, it seemed like a fun and clever romp. I thought at first you were doing a tribute to Van Gogh with the ear business...but then when you went on to the toe, etc...and we got down to business: One-sided, cute.
Then I listened to it...and the music is so melancholy. It washed a whole different meaning over the lyric. It would appear that something much more significant is missing....
Glad you got a chance to participate -- and show off by having a musical accompaniment to boot!
Beth
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Hey, I wrote this one in the spur of a moment, so its probably not my best writing. But I saw the challenge and figured I wanted to take part while I can, so. Here's my entry
I watch as the sun goes down for the last time My back to the ground If I have to go, guess it could be a lot worse, but Something still feels wrong... Somethings missing...
Can't quite put my finger on it... Just a few days ago I got out of jail And just last night I was reunited With my kids and loving wife, Sheryll But even as I held them in my arms Embraced them with the longing of five years My sixth sense continued to nag at me Tugging at my worst fears
Kept saying, somethings missing Somethings missing...somethings missing... Kept saying, somethings missing Somethings missing...somethings missing...
Same night I snuck out and Couple hours saw me to his door The man who put me behind bars With his twisted lies and plots Kicked the door open, with a sense of vengeance Ready to end his life But my sixth sense nagged at me again Something just ain't right...
Kept saying, somethings missing Somethings missing...somethings missing... Kept saying, somethings missing Somethings missing...somethings missing...
Sound of sirens out the door Filling me with dread I ain't ever going back to prison I'd rather be dead. Realise I've been screwed again Told to come out without a fight I kiss the cross at my throat Then I step outside
They tell me to put my hands behind my head And to get down on my knees But the only person I kneel to is god... And I don't see him here
As I raise my gun, thoughts of Sheryll and the kids flash through my head.....
Bang Bang...
So I watch as the sun goes down for the last time My back to the ground If I have to go, guess it could be a lot worse, but Something still feels wrong... Somethings missing...
Last edited by Stag; 06/26/08 01:36 PM.
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Here ya go B......
Something's Missing © 2008 joice marie
You've heard of Brandy, Cher, Madonna too Stars in footlights I'll name just a few
Dion, Falco, Seal and Sting They've got it all Most everything
A flash in the pan Or a life filled with fame How is it, they go by just one name? Don't their surnames deserve equal time? Famous stars in neon lights Still, .... Something's Missing I'm saying ........ Something's not right 'cause Mr something 's missing
Yanni, Donovan Liberace, and Prince We know who they are It 's a cinch
Jewel, Melanie Sade and Pink Sassy gals Who Make you think
A flash in the pan Or a life filled with fame How is it, they go by just one name? Don't their surnames deserve equal time? Famous stars in neon lights Still, .... Something's Missing I'm saying ........ Something's not right 'cause Missy something 's missing
Do they put their pants on one leg at a time? Did their Daddys commit some kind of crime?
Famous stars in neon lights Still, .... Something's Missing I'm saying ........ Something's not right
spoke: Say Who? something 's missing hey, are you gonna sign for that?
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I wrote this down this morning rather hastily, so it's a first draft. I really wanted to have some fun with this. WARNING: there's a little PG-13 content in there. Hope I don't offend anyone. Alright--back again. Made some changes and here's a link--I recorded this pretty quickly, so don't expect too much. http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6667511Something's Missin' (c)2008 Eric J. Baker v1 Van Gogh painted pictures with remarkable aplomb But one time he did something that might seem rather dumb He met a prostitute one night, but didn't have much bread So he gave to her a gift of love, cut right from his head CHORUS Something's missin', something's missin' It's kinda hard to listen when you're missin' an ear Something's missin', something's missin' Truth's more strange than fiction I think that much is clear V2 Michael Jackson wore a mask and nobody knew why So folks just speculated and offered alibis But one day in the courtroom, the judge said, "Take that off" The people there were dumbstruck cause this is what they saw CHORUS Something's missin', something's missin' He'll have no trouble kissin' with his nose not in the way Something's missin', something's missin' Truth's more strange than fiction And it's written on Mike's face V3 There was a man named Bobbitt who had a lovely wife She found creative uses for her kitchen knife He was sleeping soundly, laid out on the bed And when he woke and looked down, this is what he said CHORUS Something's missin', something's missin' It's gonna be tough pissin' cause he's missin' his thing Something's missin', something's missin' Truth's more strange than fiction Just ask Johnny's ding-a-ling TAG Does anyone here have a needle and a little string? If you read my original post, I switched the second and third verse cause I think it works better this way. Changed a couple words here and there. Eric
Last edited by ebaker68; 06/26/08 05:59 PM.
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Jeepers,
I'm gone for five minutes, and you kids start crankin' 'em out!
GOOD!
Okay, let's see what we have here....Stag, you're up first...
Oh my...this is intense...and tragic...and quite keenly written. Opening and closing with the virtually the same verse is a shrewd move, sort of a musical in media res , if you will. You draw us in quickly, as we're wondering, WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? WHY IS HIS BACK ON THE GROUND?
I would be curious to hear music with this....subject-wise, it reminds me of Elton John's "The Ballad of Danny Bailey"
Some punk with a shotgun Killed young Danny Bailey In cold blood, in the lobby Of a downtown motel.
Killed him in anger, A force he couldn't handle, Helped pull the trigger That cut short his life.
And there's not many knew him The way that we did, Sure enough he was a wild one But then aren't most hungry kids?
Now it's all over Danny Bailey, And the harvest is in. Dillinger's dead I guess the cops won again Now it's all over Danny Bailey, And the harvest is in.
We're running short of heroes Back up here in the hills, Without Danny Bailey We're gonna have to break up our stills.
So mark his grave well 'Cause Kentucky loved him. Born and raised proper I guess life just bugged him.
And he found faith in danger, A life style he lived by, A runnin' gun youngster In a sad restless age.
The repetition in your chorus would be quite haunting I imagine.
Finally, a question for you....everyone brings his/her own thoughts/feelings/issues to the music, and necessarily, the lyrics for the song challenges. Stan's song for instance, seems to have been triggered by some encounters he had over the past few days. So I'm curious -- especially since you said you wrote this quickly -- what your inspiration was. I should probably start asking that as part of the challenge...I think it might shed some additional interesting light on the songs....
Anyhoo, thanks so much for playing. As tragic as the story is, it has put me into a "stop and smell the roses" mode, so that's good.
Take care, Beth
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JM! Gadzooks, where did THIS come from? This challenge is yielding some cool cool tunes! First of all, the song itself is quite clever...I guess these people have "made it" if they can be identified so readily by just one name (and their first name, to boot). At just what point does it officially kick in? And what about that wacky symbol Prince was using for a while...? Anyhoo, this also raises the issue of names from an historical/societal point of view. Back in the day, for instance, most men were referred to by their surnames alone -- I base this observation solely on that fact that my rugrats have discovered this great classic TV channel, they're watching "Bewitched" and "I Dream of Jeannie" etc., and it's "Hey, Steven's!" this...or "How's it going Tate?" In my generation, on the other hand, I get a wide variety of responses to "how would you like to be addressed?" Out of respect, I had great intentions of grooming my youngin's to refer to adults as Mr. So-and-So or Mrs. So-and-So....but the picture became cloudy when they got to pre-school and met Miss Wendy and Miss Carol. Then there are the gals I've grown up with....their kids call me Beth (as my kids call her by her first name). So getting back to your song, this new moniker system not only makes the surname inconsequential in some ways, but it also reflects on a grander scale our society's relaxation of formality (or a lapse in proper etiquette, depending how you look at it). All very intriguing.... PHEW, that was exhausting! I am terribly sorry to have gone off on this tangent, but your song very sneakily pulled it out of me!! And with that now off my chest, let me ask you: did you have "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" in mind as you listed the names? It was a bit reminiscent of that, I thought, so for me, it added a playful element. And finally, the question of music would be a toughie on this one too. But all in all, a nipper-keeno entry! Thanks for taking the time to participate JM, and....HEY WAIT A MINUTE...now that I think about it, YOU'RE probably not in the best position to be casting stones in this department -- you go by only two LETTERS !! SHEESH!! Ciao for now, Beth
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Eric, I didn't get a chance to see your first draft, but let me tell you, this one's a doozy! Just my kind of humor!!! Actually, just now re-reading your footnote, I think you made the right decision about switching the verses. I believe closing with Mr. Bobbitt is a very fitting end to this perhaps cautionary tale. As an aside, I find it interesting that several of you boys have opted to talk about missing body parts...what that's all about? And the Van Gogh business...had you seen my commentary on Calvin's song? Just plain eerie, man. Or should I say, EAR-y ( ) The second lines of each chorus are FAB -- right-between-the-eyes shots of wit and wisdom. So in case you couldn't tell, I liked this one a lot. Great job, Eric -- from head to toe! Ciao for now, Beth
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Jeepers,
I'm gone for five minutes, and you kids start crankin' 'em out!
GOOD!
Okay, let's see what we have here....Stag, you're up first...
Oh my...this is intense...and tragic...and quite keenly written. Opening and closing with the virtually the same verse is a shrewd move, sort of a musical in media res , if you will. You draw us in quickly, as we're wondering, WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? WHY IS HIS BACK ON THE GROUND?
I would be curious to hear music with this....subject-wise, it reminds me of Elton John's "The Ballad of Danny Bailey"
Some punk with a shotgun Killed young Danny Bailey In cold blood, in the lobby Of a downtown motel.
Killed him in anger, A force he couldn't handle, Helped pull the trigger That cut short his life.
And there's not many knew him The way that we did, Sure enough he was a wild one But then aren't most hungry kids?
Now it's all over Danny Bailey, And the harvest is in. Dillinger's dead I guess the cops won again Now it's all over Danny Bailey, And the harvest is in.
We're running short of heroes Back up here in the hills, Without Danny Bailey We're gonna have to break up our stills.
So mark his grave well 'Cause Kentucky loved him. Born and raised proper I guess life just bugged him.
And he found faith in danger, A life style he lived by, A runnin' gun youngster In a sad restless age.
The repetition in your chorus would be quite haunting I imagine.
Finally, a question for you....everyone brings his/her own thoughts/feelings/issues to the music, and necessarily, the lyrics for the song challenges. Stan's song for instance, seems to have been triggered by some encounters he had over the past few days. So I'm curious -- especially since you said you wrote this quickly -- what your inspiration was. I should probably start asking that as part of the challenge...I think it might shed some additional interesting light on the songs....
Anyhoo, thanks so much for playing. As tragic as the story is, it has put me into a "stop and smell the roses" mode, so that's good.
Take care, Beth Hey Beth, well now, glad you enjoyed? the read. Inspiration mm? Lets see now....well, I just escaped from prison and.....ah, I mean, umm....... Alright, but in all seriousness. *laughs* I wish I had some long, detailed and drawn out answer for you, speaking of my many geniuses and abilities, but I'm afraid that due to my lack of afore mentioned, that I don't have such an answer. In truth, all that I did was combine this here hook that you provided, with something I'd heard off the TV a couple hours back about an escaped prisoner (I'm sure it was only a TV series, though I'm not overly sure. I was only half paying attention). Basically, in the end, I got into the mind of the convict, made him more narrator and listener friendly and attracting, and painted this story with it. There, hope thats a good enough answer. Have to apologise for my lack of body part puns, seems as though thats the ongoing trend. And yes, I saw Stans lyric there....can't say mine can compare to that one, that ones tragic in a totally different sense. And another apology for any depression this lyric may have caused. Remember kids, its just a story. (*laughs*) Cheers
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Oh my goodness, Stag (do you have a real name you feel like sharing ), You provided me we ever so much more than I could have hoped on your inspiration. I was thinking -- "heard something on TV" -- and I'd have been happy. You gave me that and more -- EVEN COMEDY! THIS IS GOOD! So thanks for filling me in, and yes, in case I wasn't clear before, I done enjoyed yer song. Having recently ESCAPED from prison myself (please, that's between you, me and the lamppost ), I can soooo relate!! As for not including body parts, no worries. I do believe they are sometimes overrated. I mean, your appendix? Come on.... Thanks for responding to my response! Cheers, Beth
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Hey Beth
Thanks--glad ya liked it. No, I didn't see your commentary on Calvin's song--I'll have to go see if I can find it. I saw a biography on Van Gogh last week--guess that's why I was thinking about him.
I have no idea why all the fellas are writing about missing body parts (though, I think any guy who was alive during the John Wayne Bobbitt incident was somehow forever scarred) LOL.
Eric
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Sorta like how everyone's a bit scared about going in the water after seeing "Jaws".... :o
As for the Van Gogh references, fun coincidence. You must try to track down the song "In the Yellow House" on Michael Frank's album "Abandoned Garden". It's a great "duet" between Vincent (Franks) and Paul Gaugin (Brian Mitchell), describing the summer they lived in Arles together. Wonderful jazz piece.
Ciao for now, Beth
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Hey Beth, hows 'guy who sometimes misses those simple love songs he used to write', sound? Hmm, wait...guess its a bit of a mouthful.
You know, if my name was really Stag, I could have been offended there *laughs*
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In truth, STAG does have a certain, well, MAN OR MALE DEER ON THE PROWL sort of feel to it....so by all means, hang on to the mystery as long as you can. As for those simple love songs you used to write....are they no longer SIMPLE or are they no longer LOVE SONGS? Ciao for now, Beth (P.S. Don't forget to tell us when your birthday is, so we can have a STAG PARTY! )
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Love, Beth, is no longer simple.
Joe
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Oh my dear Joe, I beg to differ.... Love is the easiest thing in the world!! 'Course, on the corner of 49th and Vernon, it'll cost ya a buck or two... (though certainly if you were a pirate, it would cost merely a buck-an-ear!)!! Beth
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Figures. Y'got time, y'don't got money, and if y'got money, y'don't got time. Story of my life.
Still, I'll keep 49th & Vernon in mind. Might be a song in it. "I bought love, at 49th and Vernon..."
Joe
Last edited by Joe Wrabek; 06/28/08 03:14 AM.
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Somethings Missing
somethings missing in this life of mine, The little joys that I used to find, The quiet laughter that was yours and mine, Where did it all go?
Somethings missing in the words we say, Truth has lost its meaning along the way, Our lives together are in slow decay, Where did it all go? Somethings missing in our hearts today, The love and kindness that was our way Did it ever really matter anyway Where did it all go? BlueBoy Icould write more but ran out of space
Life was once a beautiful thing when we were able to live it.Love is such a beautiful thing when we are able to give it.Time alas has no meaning when there is no time but it takes but a moment for one to be so kind
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