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#61937 - 01/15/02 12:24 AM Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 391
GT Acoustic Offline
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GT Acoustic  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 391
Maine, NY
This one still needs some ironing out, so now is the time to thow your 2 pennies in!

This is the first draft of the music, needs better lead guitar and backing vocals among other things. Any other suggestions before the final cut would be appreciated. I forgot to erase the leader, so you'll hear an annoying count in.

I set up a draft site at soundclick so you guys can stream it.

Here's the link:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/drafts_music.htm

Here's the words:

TOO YOUNG TO BE SO OLD
©2002 Anthony Torres Music (c) Allan Truesdell
All rights reserved

(Verse 1)
Sometimes she doesn’t feel like cryin’
when she’s lying in a car
in a 28-buck motel room
or stoned behind a bar

(Build 1)
Her highs get lower, so others show her
More dangerous ways to escape the world
Pills and smokes turn to needles and coke
Doesn’t anyone know she’s just a girl?

(Chorus)
She’s too young to be so old
Too weak for the streets
where she is bought and sold
There’s no one to protect her
Nobody’s hand to hold
Too young to be so old

(Verse 2)
She had wanted to be an actress
And that’s how she found L.A.
But the only acting job she does lures
the repeat johns her way

(Build 2)
They all use her, sometimes abuse her
Always careful not to show the bruise
Nights are long because they're too (ALT: she ain't) strong
What’s a 14-year-old woman to do?
(Chorus)


Thanks!

Allan

------------------
www.goodtimeacoustic.com
Who Says Acoustic Music Can't Be In Your Face?

[This message has been edited by GT Acoustic (edited 01-14-2002).]

[This message has been edited by GT Acoustic (edited 01-14-2002).]


http://www.goodtimeacoustic.com
Who Says Acoustic Music Can't Be In Your Face?
#61938 - 01/15/02 12:43 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,512
Janice Messer Offline
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Janice Messer  Offline
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Alabama
Allan and Anthony this is a great collab! I love the music you have done for this Allan. It almost starts out with a Harry Chapin flavor. I like the extra more "electric rock" that evolves here but it would be interesting to hear a scaled down much simpler sound. Even some of the lyrics remind me of Taxi by Chapin. Either way you go with this I do love it! I think it caught me a bit off guard since Allan's screen name is GT ACOUSTIC! I would bet that Anthony would much prefer this version. Good luck guys! [Linked Image] [Linked Image] [Linked Image]

#61939 - 01/15/02 01:49 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Dec 2000
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John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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Nice jon Allan. Liked Anthony's lyric and you've done it justice for sure. Congrats and good luck.


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#61940 - 01/15/02 02:17 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 391
GT Acoustic Offline
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GT Acoustic  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 391
Maine, NY
I just setup a soundclick site to stream this one. It's here: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/drafts_music.htm

Bama: Thanks a bunch! Anthony did a great job with the lyrics and they struck a chord. I'll probably do an acoustic version of all the rockers eventually and put 'em on my website for anybody that's interested. Acoustic is my primary love in making music. I spent about ten years fronting hard rock and heavy metal bands though and now and then need to get it out of my system.

John: Thanks a bunch. I have no doubt Anthony appreciates it as much as I do. This one still needs some work though.

Allan

------------------
www.goodtimeacoustic.com
Who Says Acoustic Music Can't Be In Your Face?


http://www.goodtimeacoustic.com
Who Says Acoustic Music Can't Be In Your Face?
#61941 - 01/15/02 02:30 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Corky Bernard (D) Offline
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Corky Bernard (D)  Offline
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Nashville, Tn.
Hey Guys,

Just streamed it and listened for the forth time.

One. It grows on you, always a good sign.

Two. It needs to have about 30 seconds cut somehow, somewhere. (Just my thought, and I been wrong a lot!)

Wonderful melody and exception lyrics.

dawg


Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes
age just shows up alone.
#61942 - 01/15/02 02:33 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
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Judy Hollier Offline
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Judy Hollier  Offline
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Sydney, Australia
Hi Allan and Anthony, just listening to this as I type. I think the builds and the chorus are very strong - terrific sound. The verses seem to fall a little flat by comparison. Overall though, a really good song - one to be proud of. Good luck with it. Cheers, Judy

#61943 - 01/15/02 03:14 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Jan 2001
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Anthony Torres Offline
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Anthony Torres  Offline
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Belleville, Michigan, USA
Bama-- Hi. I was expecting something soft and quiet too, but this rock version grew on me fast. I'm glad you like it!

John-- Thanks for the kind words. [Linked Image]

dawg-- Yeah, maybe it could be trimmed down, I dunno. At 3:50-ish, it's not that long, though. I'm glad you listened (and listened, and listened... [Linked Image] )!

Judy-- I tend to agree with your comments. This is only a rough mix, though. We're both working to fix the rough spots-- and there aren't many of those. [Linked Image] Thanks for listening! I'm really pleased with Allan's work on this one.

Anthony

#61944 - 01/15/02 04:28 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 4,528
Blake Hill Offline
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Blake Hill  Offline
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Well, being a former and still closet 80's headbanger, i LOVE that guitar! Where's my lighter!!!?? I LOVED guys...very nice!

#61945 - 01/15/02 04:36 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
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krtinberg Offline
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Brick, NJ 08723
Hey Allan and Anthony,

Very cool song! I enjoyed it thorougly and it seemed to go by pretty fast didn't really feel overl long too me. Keep up the nice work fellas.

Later,
Kevin

#61946 - 01/15/02 09:22 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 13,618
Graham Henderson (D) Offline
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Posts: 13,618
Esperance. West Australia
Done pretty good Fellas. Lurics havecome a fair way.
I do think the opening lines need a bit more done to them though. I do note you don't stick totaly to the written stuff Allan and a little more wil do wonders I think.
Most times, she's way past crying. comes to mind as a way to go maybe.
I think would try better ways instead of the more dangerous bit as it is a bit rushed and to her mind they would be better ways.
The next line tells us what her beter is so the dangerous isn't needed.
Done a good job on verse two and think I would try dropping the repeat. It seems a squeeze as is and in reality I would think she would have to act more to attract the newbies than ones who already knew what tricks she did.
Like it Allan and Anthony
Regards.
Graham


------------------
http://artists2.iuma.com/IUMA/Bands/Graham_Henderson/

#61947 - 01/15/02 12:11 PM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
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Posts: 4,372
Bob Young (D) Offline
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Bob Young (D)  Offline
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chicago il usa
Production Police (imagine a siren)
UK..pull over.....

get out of the car..drop trou, bend over and spread your cheeks...oh..and welcome to Chicago !

Lotsa cymbal crashes..they diminish the impact of the words in the verses..great snare sound..guitars are cool..I'd up front 'em a bit..if you're gonna go the power chorus trip..I'd use a Marshalled guitar tonic fifth half note guitar to introduce the chorus and maybe keep going all the way thru..theres room for and eighth note figure to builld the chorus as well..I wouldn't arpeggiate it,,just tonic hits rhythm underneath is classic boom, chick,boom boom..I might mess with that a bit..
This doesn't feel at all too long for me...I might be looking to establish more of a different sound texture between the verses and the chorus..more of an acoustic sound in the verse..maybe side stick on the snare into snare on the chorus...

This is really good guys..great job by both of you...
I don't see any changes in words or structure...Rock on children !

Bob

#61948 - 01/15/02 01:03 PM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Nov 2001
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Clark Dickinson (D) Offline
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Clark Dickinson (D)  Offline
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Posts: 971
South Central Florida
Morning Allan,

I'm on my second listen myself. I find myself liking the pauses...crying...in the car, motel room...or stoned, ect.

This does rock, more so than I've ever heard from you...which is a good thing.

I had no fault in the original lyric, but I'm glad you guys got rid of the 'Daddy' referances.

Another solid effort Allan. I wish the two of you much success with this. Big blessings as always...Clark [Linked Image]

#61949 - 01/15/02 01:11 PM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 391
GT Acoustic Offline
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GT Acoustic  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 391
Maine, NY
Blake: I spent too many years banging my head during the 80's. I got flat spots! Thanks for the listen!

Kevin: Thanks for the listen and encouragement.

Graham: I think you've got some excellent suggestions, Thanks! I'll review those with Anthony. That line was bugging us both!

Bob: OUCH! Anal probes suck. I thought Chicago was a nice town but have just changed my mind!

Thanks a bunch for taking the time to listen and offering your advice. I believe you have hit on a couple of the things I'm really looking for in the production (very appreciated). I think I follow what your saying on the guitar work. I'll give it a better look when I'm back in home court (I'm doing the geek thing right now).

Thanks Gang!


http://www.goodtimeacoustic.com
Who Says Acoustic Music Can't Be In Your Face?
#61950 - 01/15/02 01:22 PM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Apr 2001
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Kaley Willow Offline
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Posts: 10,240
PA
Allan...Anthony...

I liked it the first time through....it was a little heavy for my ears...BUT...that's
just my ears....seems.to really fit the words....and I'm sure...Rockers are gonna love it......
good work....

Kaley [Linked Image]

#61951 - 01/16/02 12:21 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 391
GT Acoustic Offline
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GT Acoustic  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 391
Maine, NY
Clark and Kaley:

Thanks a bunch for the listen and comments! I had to drive into town to check my email 'cause our phones are out. Aaaahhh life in the sticks!

Thanks again guys. We sure appreciate it!

Allan


http://www.goodtimeacoustic.com
Who Says Acoustic Music Can't Be In Your Face?
#61952 - 01/16/02 12:29 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
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Ria (Elizabeth) Offline
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Ria (Elizabeth)  Offline
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Charlotte, NC, USA
Allan and Anthony,
Wow, this is really good! Cant wait to hear the "finished" version of this.
Gonna go listen again!
Take Care
Ria

------------------
http://angelfire.lycos.com/amiga/riassonglyrics

#61953 - 01/16/02 10:19 AM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Jan 2001
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Anthony Torres Offline
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Anthony Torres  Offline
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Belleville, Michigan, USA
Blake, Kevin, Bob, Graham, Clark, Kaley and Ria! (Did I miss anyone? [Linked Image] ) Just wanted to thank you all for listening to this one, and for your comments-- especially yours, Bob, even though I didn't understand a word of it. [Linked Image]

Anthony

#61954 - 01/16/02 02:00 PM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Jul 2010
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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Tampa, Florida since 1973
WOW, Allan & Anth'...This is KILLER Stuff here...(& I'm THRILLED Soundclick lets Webtv Play 99% of it in Lo-Fi Mode!!!)

Only line I'd change is "Repeat" Johns..maybe "The Next" John...sorta to show she's Perpetually Hustlin'...for NEW Biz.

Otherwise, "KUDOS" Amigos...I'm No Musician, but I know what I Like, & I LIKE this one, Words AND Music! This'n's what Collaboration is ALL About! EXCELLENT!

Big Guys-Hug,
Stan

#61955 - 01/16/02 02:56 PM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 4,178
Cindy Miller Offline
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Cindy Miller  Offline
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Harlan, Iowa U.S.A.
Hi Guys!! Though I haven't had much of a presence at JPF for several days, I have been lurking and I listened to this song yesterday and agree completely with Bama... and with Allan and with Anthony. I think the production is really what this lyric "requires", if you understand my meaning. But at the same time, I love acoustic, so I'll look forward to the Acoustic version of the CD I ordered from you, Allan!!

GREAT job (again) on the music, Allan! And I've been fond of these lyrics since I read them. Another great collab!!

[Linked Image] Tink


The Artist formerly known as TINK ;\)

I write so I can breathe...

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=29337
#61956 - 01/16/02 10:30 PM Re: Too Young Too Be So Old - Collab with Anthony  
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 391
GT Acoustic Offline
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GT Acoustic  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 391
Maine, NY
Ria, Stan and Tink:

Thanks a whole lot for the listen and comments. I haven't been on the board much lately either Tink. Busier than heck! I'm hoping to improve that presence soon.

Just gotta polish up a few of the songs and hope to send the CD to my Pal's studio for mastering. He's got a great mastering engineer which is an art in itself.

Thanks again for the input. Might have the finished product of this and "The Mile" by next week.

Allan



------------------
www.goodtimeacoustic.com
Who Says Acoustic Music Can't Be In Your Face?


http://www.goodtimeacoustic.com
Who Says Acoustic Music Can't Be In Your Face?

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