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Yep, long way to chorus...

Flaming Starr
© Ben Burton MAY 1, 2008

INTRO
Flaming Starr was born of autumn skies
To Happy Sleeping Fawn and Thunder Eyes
In desert land where stars are twice as bright
On week-end nights they came to watch her..Starr
V1
The Sarsaparilla Inn on Highway Ninety
A quarter tank or more from any place
Bakes in the desert heat weathered but timeless
Retaining secrets of Starr's blazing days
V2
On nights so ripe for raw anticipation
With reservations they were packed inside
The cover charge was what ones soul could measure
The drinks were tears liqueur the red man cried
V3
At ten the lights would dim and from the shadows
A vision from an artist's dream emerged
Black pigtails and dark eyes that captivated
The stage and all the people there were hers
CHORUS
Music from Mohave legend
Blended in with rhythm blues
Kicked it up 'til all were sweating
Flaming Starr the Queen of cutting loose
V4
Before the night drew breath on Sunday morning
Starr's disembodied spirit would appear
A radiation flowed to every corner
It stripped the flesh 'til skeletons lie bare

Music from Mohave legend
Blended in with rhythm blues
Kicked it up 'til all were sweating
Flaming Starr the Queen of cutting loose
BRIDGE
Desert devils twist the dust
Coyote cubs cry all night long
Shifting dunes betray no trust
The Sarsaparilla Inn sleeps with her song
All quiet within walls of human bone

Music from Mohave legend
Blended in with rhythm blues
Kicked it up 'til all were sweating
Flaming Starr the Queen of cutting loose

Ben,

Very interesting story. You are a real storyteller. I have to say, I'm not a singer, so I have no idea how this would sing, but you almost want to read it to get the most out of those words you use.

I'm assuming "cutting loose" means dancing but I'm on the fence whether I enjoy that phrase or not.

And the "shifting dunes betray no trust," I think is over my head..

Just a little feedback from my pov....good luck with it!

Kristi

Hey Kristi,

C'mon. You GOTTA have heard of "cutting Loose." I KNOW ya'll cut loose up there in...what the heck happened to your location? It just says "USA." Well, I'm thinking you're in the N.E.

The "shifting dunes betray no trust?" Don't worry with it. It's over my head, as well.

Thanks, K.

Ben

Ben,

No, cutting loose is fine and of course I have heard of it!...I was just thinking in context of the lyric what it meant and whether it was dignified (that's not what I mean either) enough for her (and the lyric), that's all. (I don't always explain my train of thought effectively....) Forget it..it's fine, imo.

Kristi

C'mon, K-risti! I think I know what you mean...no, not dignified, but she's a sultry enchantress, and cutting loose isn't really appropriate (though there are plenty of skeletons that might declare otherwise).

I'll try to think of something, or if you do, holler, cause there sure as heck ain't anybody else lumping this in a category anywhere near "real storyteller."

Ben

Ben,

I like this and I can see it, but tripped over the same places others have...Sure I know what cuttin' loose is, but it just doesn's seem like it fits the best there, but derned if I can come up with an alternative....now, that's alot of help, huh?

In the bridge....Coyote cubs cry out for Mom doesn't quite work for me either....because of the rater slangish term for Mother.

How about....COYOTE CUBS CRY ALL NIGHT LONG


Don't have alot of nits....it seems to be a mixture of the old and the new.....the rather eerie sound of the Mohave legends incorporated in with new slang....might work that way, though. What do I know.....(said that before YOU said it...HA)

Good write, though Ben....Jan

Mmmm Ben...not sure about this one.

You have nice images and all, but somehow things seemed too disjointed or "much" for me to get a real clear image of what you wanted to show

Maybe I've been away too long

Ya Know Ben?,
This'n has the feel of Jim Morrison , but ; I kinda think he'd spell Mojave more like I just did. Don't have a problem with cuttin' loose , fact is ; I think the Doobie Brothers did one called the very same and I like that one...like this one too.
Pete

Jan, Jan, Jan.....

"...but tripped over the same places others have."

Have people been PMing you about this doggone lyric? Cause if they ain't, there ain't no otherS...just an other, Kristi.

Well, hang. Try something way different and get basically ignored. I really didn't think it was all that bad. Not saying YOU said that it is, but when only one person responds in over a week, that generally speaks volumes.

I really didn't look back at this after I made some changes. Originally, I had a rattler tagging that Mama coyote...ergo "Mom." You're right..."all night long" works better now.

Thanks Janathon!



Well, JV

Long time no see. So of the seventy-leven songs I posted in the last month, you just HAD to hop on this one, now did ya?

Gee, what can i say. You hadda be there!



I just KNEW ol' Petey could get behind this kinda story! You know, it's tough paring something like this into form. I had a bunch of different things before; then I edited as it grew, and probably threw out some keepers and kept some stinkers.

I had the patrons drinking non-alcohol initially, so they'd get a subliminal message about the damage caused to the N.A.'s by firewater, plus they'd be fully aware when she "cut loose" with some payback!

So you prefer the other spelling. 'at's OK, long as ever'one knows it's either way. For edification purposes....

Mohave and Mojave are both tribally accepted and interchangeably used phonetic spellings for a Native American people known among themselves as the Aha macave. Their name comes from two words: aha, meaning 'water', and macave, meaning 'along or beside', and to them it means 'people who live along the river'.

Thanks, Pete. So very glad you SAY you like it, anyway!

Ben