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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Leafs
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/05/24 01:49 PM
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(This is a guy song, singing to a girl, kinda country, I reckon)
I Do Drama
V.1 There’s always something going on with you Some new crisis to process through You’re happy ‘bout this, mad about that You can pull feelings right out of a hat (Chorus) I know about the troubles with your sister and your mama I know how you feel about Barack Obama I wish I was, but I’m not the Dalai Lama But because of you, I do drama V.2 Everything with you is an emergency Chip your nail--a catastrophe Each monologue is out of control Honey, your performances are getting real old (Chorus) I know about your childhood and all its little traumas I know how the dryer ate your silk pajamas I wish I was but I’m not the Dalai Lama But because of you, I do drama (Bridge) All I wanted was a simple life Now I'm your audience day and night I bought season tickets before I knew This dern show only stars you (Chorus) I know how you'd personally like to catch Osama How you cozy up to melodrama I wish I was, but I’m not the Dalai Lama But because of you, I do drama Because of you, I do drama
(I believe I'll just exist stage left here) spoken
© April, 2008, Betty Holt
Last edited by bholt; 04/12/08 12:11 PM.
Betty J. Holt
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Hoping again to get some feedback....
Betty J. Holt
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Betty...I don't know why someone hasn't jumped on this yet...I love it. Great hook. I have some sugs (don't I typically). A few places needed to match up to their previous counterparts. Plus...you know me...I tried to add a little more attitude to it...lol. Of course this is always KOS. Totally my take on it. Best of luck with it gal!
~Bree
V2 Everything WITH YOU is an emergency A CHIPPED NAIL IS UTTER URGENCY YOUR MONOLOGUE IS GETTIN' OUT OF CONTROL Honey, your performances are getting PRETTY old
Bridge) All I wanted was a simple life BUT I'M your audience BOTH day and night I bought a season ticketS before I knew THIS PRODUCTION, GIRL, is all about you
(LAST Chorus) I'VE HEARD HOW YOU COULD SINGLE HANDEDLY BRING DOWN OSAMA I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR MELODRAMA I wish I was, but I’m JUST not the Dalai Lama But because of you, I do drama Because of you, GIRL I SURE do THE drama
(I THINK I'LL JUST EXIT STAGE LEFT) spoken
The ideal poet has a genius for making the things we see every day seem new. ~ Samuel Johnson I write because I breathe, I breathe because I write. ~ Me www.soundclick.com/breeg
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Bree, thank you so much! These are very good suggestions and I will consider them. Thanks again! Yeah, it's hard to get attention on these boards these days! Understandable, because I come and go alot and in many ways am not "regular".
Betty J. Holt
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Betty,
This is really cute and both sexes can surely relate and perhaps see ourselves.
Bree has given you some good suggs. Here's a couple more...Kos
In v.1:
Line 3...I'd shorten it to HAPPY 'BOUT THIS; MAD ABOUT THAT Line 4...You CAN pull feelings right out of a hat
Really cute though Betty....not many nits. This would be fun with the singin'. You need just the right woe be-gone male voice with a bit of tee'd off in there too. Good luck with that.
Jan
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Thank you, Jan. You and Bree have given me some excellent suggestions and I'm very grateful!
Betty J. Holt
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Okay, have put in some of the changes Bree and Jan suggested now. Any other nits?
Betty J. Holt
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Betty, I think this is AWESOME!!! I love this theme the title everything. I don't even have any nits. It's just plain good.
:-) Cindy
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Betty,
I like the title of this. They lyrics are a surprise because I thought by the title it would be a woman singer or voice. I want to replace the Dalai Lama at least once with mama, since you have an evolving chorus. Something like "I've heard all about your crazy mama." A woman like this usually does not get along well with anyone, especially mom.
Another thought:
Each monologue is out of control Honey, your words are sinking in my soul
Just a few thoughts. Overall, I'm with the other posters in that this is pretty good and there's not much that jumps out at me. Good luck with it.
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Thank you for the kind words, Cindy and Wendy. Wendy, I didn't feel like I could use "mama" again since I'd already talked about the troubles between her sister and her mama, but maybe I have the Dalai Lama too many times.
Betty J. Holt
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Heya Betty J This one had wings! I really liked the Barack Obama and Osama lines! This one is really creatively put together, and yes we all have known someone like this (or maybe we are and just don't want to admit it lol). I not sure whether the singee is sposed to be male or female, but I'll tell you this I think the phenomenon crosses borders lol. Great job betty throroughly enjoyed the read! Derek See there you explained the pov in the beginning and I got so caught up in the lyric I missed that! You my dear are a great song writer!
Last edited by Derek Hines; 04/12/08 07:22 PM.
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Derek, you sweet thing! My coaches have been tearing my lyrics up lately, so I'm hoping they'll like this one better. Now if I can get the music just right...Thanks for your sweet comments.
Betty J. Holt
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