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Ok here goes, I'm posting up this song entitled "My Favorites", and have been very lucky enough to have this play on an out of state college radio station, yay! I've not had any formal training...just an ear and a dream like most song writers. This is an electro down-tempo piece I made in 2005, (with no pre-made loops) I make all my own beats and lyrics from scratch. Feedback welcomed.

http://stoband.net/@Music/_tracks/2/file.mp3

MY FAVORITES

V1. I've been searching all my life,
For someone to help me ease my strife.
To look beyond the skin I'm in,
And to truly help me breath again.
If I put my trust in you
Would you aid in carrying me through?
...(Trust in You)...

Chorus: He's one of my favorites,
Ooh how I Savor this,
Its so nice to have a friend
And real friendship never ends.
She's one of my favorites,
Ooh how I savor this,
Its so nice to have a friend
And real friendship never ends.

V2. Like a jewel that is oh so fine and rare,
it hard to find people that care,
and this cold world tries to shut me down,
But I will survive with you around.
I'm extremely happy
To know that your a part of me.

Chorus: He's one of my favorites,
Ooh how I Savor this,
Its so nice to have a friend
And real friendship never ends.
She's one of my favorites,
Ooh how I savor this,
Its so nice to have a friend
And real friendship never ends.

Brake: My....Favorites....My....Favorites....ooohhh...

V3. I'll show you deepest of respect,
with this friendship I won't dare forget.
Your mind and heart embrace me still,
inspite of hard times come they will.
Together we will learn and grow
a true friend you are and that I know.

Chorus: He's one of my favorites,
Ooh how I Savor this,
Its so nice to have a friend
and real friendship never ends.
She's one of my favorites,
Ooh how I savor this,
Its so nice to have a friend
And real friendship never ends.

Chorus: He's one of my favorites,
Ooh how I Savor this,
Its so nice to have a friend
And real friendship never ends.
She's one of my favorites,
Ooh how I savor this,
Its so nice to have a friend
And real friendship never ends.

(THE END)

Here's to best friends for life.

Hey Indigo...I can't listen yet, but I will later. I just wanted to answer now, because when you post your first song here, I know the feeling...you're filled with anxiety, dying for SOME sort of response.

Anyway, welcome to JPF and I look forward to hearing this. Glad you decided to put it out there...that always takes some courage.

Later!

-mk

Indigo:

Welcome!

I really enjoyed your song. I thought music was very strong. I'm not too familiar with this style of music, but I thought the music was both catchy and compelling. It has a great groove! I liked these lines:

To look beyond the skin I'm in,
And to truly help me breath again.

and

He's one of my favorites,
Ooh how I Savor this

I didn't think the rest of the lyrics were up to the level of those two lines, or of the music. Of course, the lyrics are probably secondary to the music in this type of song. But that's where I would put some attention. You'll get much better feedback here as more people listen to your song. You may also consider posting this over on the Lyrics boards where you will get some great advice on polishing your lyrics.

Great job!

Mark

Hey guys many thanx for the feedback!!! I'm taking up the electric violin so I can have even more of a live sound for future tacks. If there is any other advice, tips, hints, I'm all ears. You r right that I wrote the music b4 I put in the words. I need to become more witty with my words in songs, this sure is not the deepest song, but it gets the basic message across.

Hi Indigo

And welcome to this place

I like your knack for programming, and production,. Lots of cool lttle things going on in here. There are lines in the song that I really liked, you don't have to go banannas on the lyrics in this style of music as 90% of the time it is not meant to be sophisticted lyrically. But I do agree with you, the more clever and unique lines and ideas The Better!!

Lots of good points and strong things to work off here.....
Nice flowing easy going melody, hypnotic track and vocal sound..... And good arrangement!!!

Some things that would help, ease off the echo. Especially in the verses early on
the timing is feeling funny. Also overall the song is crowded, between the syncopated grooves and parts and all the echo, the words and feel gets lost.

I would bring the echo in a tad less mainly on the chorus as it felt like part of the hook there. The track could use a tad of stripping down, build ups and drop downs,
dynamics. Everything kinda comes at you all at once.

I know that's how this style is, but if you play around with theses ideas it can have cross over/ pop potential as well.

There's a section in the middle end that just gets crazy with a fast drum loop jumping in. I would edit that right out of there as it's not working out well.
It sounds like another song started playing somewhere and i was looking all over my screne for another player to shut it off

Great potential and a very fresh listen for these boards as another style of making music. I dabble very very very little with that style, And if so it's usually part of an instrumental... Harder to do than people think, and writing words for it is a whole nother challenge all together

Good work & all the best!

Thank you again for the advice. I was trying to go for a super fun kabaam surprise kind of brake here, to reinvigorate the listener so they would not get tired of the same tempo and song movement...well, that was the plan:-)

I hear you!

In this case the impact would come by taking away, less is best kinda thing.
Instead of adding the more busy action.

I was never very good at it as a producer but I worked on a lot of sessions as a player
in the 90's dance music scene.

"Just plain folks" rocks!!! This is Probably the most detailed song advice that I've ever received! Let me tell you every little bit helps. I'm very grateful for this. I'm excited to take what I've learned and build on it.

Hi Indigo

Had a listen, and the echo's are out weighing your singing, keep at it though, you can only get better. I think you have done great with the lyrics, but I am only learning with songwriting, and its great to see experienced singer/songwriters pointing you in the right direction.

Good luck

Michele
Aussie girl from down under

My band mates and I are sometimes at opposites with vocal effects. I want a little less, they want more echo and reverb. I guess piling on the FX is addicting, especially when your winging it with little or no direction. ...This is where a good co-producer along with good sound engineering comes in. Still a bit rusty with that stuff.

Now Indigo, don't let those fellow band mates put it over you, just show them who's BOSS! Hah! Tell them to listen, and take good advice, and they will only get better at it.


Michele
Aussie girl from down under

Hi Indigo! Nice to meet you, and I'll enjoy listening when I get a chance soon. Been a bit distracted today.
I wanted to say HELLO though and welcome you to the boards!
YES, you can get some great detailed stuff on this board, much nicer and more useful feedback than I've seen anywhere else.

Talk to you soon!

Linda

Same here.
I need more time to boot it up on dial-up.
About the only band thing I have experience with is a buddies 16 track mixer from way back and band sessions.
Also band friends I met from my job whose ears I have bent.
I'm playing around with an eight track mixer right now.
I have mainly plugged into the card with what has been at hand so far, outside of some mp3 to .wav recording.

This will be fun to listen to when I finally can.

Hey Michele and Linda, thank you!
Yeah, I'm enjoyinf jpf a lot, this place has members that are active and involved here on a verity of topics from all levels. Its very interesting to say the least...just the way I like it.
Sometimes serious, other times comical with never a dull moment. Fun times.

I have a very slow computer too, and some songs don't ever load at all, its a real pain! But we plan to upgrade soon as we get our tax return cash....(I hope, gulp)

Okay, finally got a listen. I am really liking this one. This sort of sonic trip depends a lot on the production, doesn't it? I think your performance is great. I hope to delve into this style more in the near future too, now that I'm collecting some good software, and Reason, and a MIDI controller.

I think a massive assault of effects and delay is fine...on a song like this, you could probably even take it further, with lots of transformations from pure vocal sound to bizarre synth effects. What will probably make or break it is your use of dynamics, loud-soft, full instrumentation-near silence, etc. Also depends a lot on absolute precision.

The tempo change was a great act of bold creativity that sorta didn't work...YET. YET, mind you. That was a cool idea...just needs a different tweak to make it fly...maybe a softer, in-the-distance effect, who knows.

Can't wait to hear how electric violin will sound, that's very exciting. You know, Einstein (dressed as Robin Hood) used to play that. Sorry, old guy reference there.

Great work, Indigo, and I agree---not enough of your style here so far...we all benefit. Keep making music!

-Mark

Thanx Mark, the echo was meant to add a dream-like effect...but I've been getting a lot of divided feedback over the years on our use of reverb and echo. Yet, heavy voice FX can be a common trait for some electronica genres...I suppose it can get annoying for first time listeners though.

Hi Indigo:

Cool song! Nicely produced - sounds like you did everything yourself.

I second Mike on the middle section - if you take away there, rather than add, I think you'll achieve the effect your looking for and it won't seem so crowded.

Welcome to the forum - nice to see something in this genre here!

Scott

Hey Scott,

Thank you for stopping by to give a listen, and for the nice welcome. I'm getting much info on the "less is more" idea for the brake. I'm finding that writing songs for yourself is much different from writing songs for the public.

Hi STO,

Nice to meet you & welcome to JPF.

You got a lot going on in your song.
Although this is not my kind of music, I can appreciate what you've done here.

I see you got plenty of good advice already.
I also enjoyed these words....VERY COOL !
To look beyond the skin I'm in

Looking forward to seeing more of your work.
Have a good weekend.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hi Calvin, thanx for the greeting. I've looked at some of your work on here, and you seem to have a very bold writing style. Your words paint very vivid pictures, lol. You have a very strong and detailed word style.

Hey Indigo,

Just wanted to drop-in and say welcome. I listened to this and thought it was really interesting and cool. I wish I knew how to do half of the stuff you did on this. I'm play some crappy guitar and sing, that's about it. I will try to drop back by and give you some better feedback but just wanted to say welcome to JPF, you will enjoy the folks here.

Hi Wendy, thanx for the friendly greeting. You probably play a much better guitar than I play violin. I can only just barely perform the ABC song on my electric fiddle, but I'm determined to keep at it.