JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 2 I've deleted this song

I thought I'd try posting here for a change.

Sorry for the delete but I have decided to not risk this one.

Wise and nicely stated. This is a great lyric, Bill.

(Not too, but to: "Even if she don't want too")

Look forward to hearing this.

-Lyle

Thanks Lyle

This one will have to wait a bit. I'm working on another.
Thanks for the heads up on the "too"
I always get that wrong, LOL

Bill:
A good one.

Hey Bill

Really like this one! It tells a simple truth. Even if a guy wants to stay how he is ever so subtly a woman will change him. Mostly by making him want to change lol. Very real lyric here I enjoyed the lines of the skoal ring in the jeans I have seen that sooo many times! Very cool little lyric got music for it yet?
Derek

Hi Bill,

I'll add my well done. The right woman will make you want the little changes that make life easier for you both. The wrong one will want you to make changes just to make you fit in with what her idea of a man should be. I like the "Gentle". Good luck with thissun'

Enjoyed this!!! Very sweet and done perfectly I'd say. Love this with the baby tooth!!

You won’t even know it’s hap’nin’
It’ll be so smooth
A little nudge here and there
Like a loose baby tooth
It’s gonna scare your buddies
They won’t know it’s you

I think I like it Bill. You hit on an aspect of relationships I haven't seen done (and overdone), the change people effect on one another, your focus on her changing him, but it happens both ways. But it's a unique angle. I think you're onto a good one here. I hope your melody serves it well. Many can relate to the story.

Sorry it took me so long to get back to this
Thanks Lee, Derek, John, Brenda, and Gary.
Don't see much point in a separate post for each of you. You all said pretty much the same thing. Thanks again.
I really appreciate the look at this one.
I am trying to get some music to it now.

I have decide I did not like the 6 line verses and have added 2 lines to the verses. If I get an MP3 up for this I'll post the edited version then

Hi Bill, Great hook, original concept...its a winner. One or two lines need cleaning up as you state but nearly there. Perhaps maybe a bit more detail about the actual changes would improve it by injecting a bit of humour.
Anyway I can relate to what you say been married over 30yrs. One of my pals tongue in cheek says when my wife answers the door "Hi Mrs M can Jim come out to play?"

Hi Jim
Thanks for the look But I have now removed the lyric.

Hi Bill if you don't mind me asking WHY.....?

Well Jim
It may sound silly but....
I have been advised to be more careful about my songs. Some I will post some I will not.
If I believe the song is unique enough and might have a chance of a cut I will, from now on, not post those songs before I have had them looked at by someone in the "biz".

Too many anonymous eyes looking in here.

I suppose so, Bill... But the way I look at it, if someone were to "steal" my song, then somehow get it pitched, accepted, recorded and adored by fans...well, then all the least pleasant aspects of the process have just been taken care of, and I'd politely request my fair share of the pie. If they told me to take a hike, I think even a newbie lawyer could win my case.

But I hear you...that's a whole 'nother hassle.

Great song--good luck with it!

-Lyle

Sorry to bust your bubble Mark but stealing an Idea and making it your own is not copyright infringement and I was advised that this one was fresh enough to get it off the net till it was pitched.
Proving a copyright infringement is nearly impossible unless they actually copy the song itself.
And I have no intention of letting someone else make money off my idea

Thanks for the info Bill. I will take my chances with either the culprit or a lawyer if it ever happens to me.

Well, perhaps true, but the corollary to that is that ideas are a dime a dozen, it's the implementation that makes the difference. I mean everyone has song ideas, but it's those that make them happen that matters.

KAC

It must be a good song!!! Good luck!

People who steal ideas and songs aren't too creative or original, IMO

Emioly

That is quite true Em...but those folks who steal don't care so much about being creative and original. They just care about being FIRST with the finished product because it pays the bills better. I have had a publisher (who will remain anonymous) tell me flat out that he cruises these forums and others looking for that next great concept that he can skim and revise to make it his own. He wanted Dawg and me to write for him. We couldn't get out of his office fast enough. And just in case someone doesn't quite believe me...this happened right after we moved to Nashville. The guy told us flat out that he had seen our work here and that was why he had contacted us. I still see the guy at events on occasion. Apparently he makes enough doing that to keep afloat. His office was right on Music Row. How many of US can afford to live off our music? I am sure there are more like him who do the same. Folks who are right here on the scene have the connections and capability of getting a great song into the marketplace much quicker than folks in the hinterlands.

I still post most of my stuff...but I also go to enough music events in town and listen to enough new music that if I ever heard one of mine coming back at me from another songwriter (or even someone else's that I know from here)...I would have no qualms about discussing the issue with that individual. One problem I see is that with all the collaborating that goes on here...one person could skim an idea and then collab with someone else in town to "revise" it and the unwitting partner would believe they had a totally fresh idea. You can't copyright a concept...and these "creative types" can often write rings around the rest of us.

These folks are scumbags...but they exist. To think otherwise is naive.

Hugs,
Bobbie

Thanks Bobbie for the backup
I am not saying I won't post anything here. I am saying that I will be a little more careful about what I post here.
It did not even occur to me that this song might have something fresh and new. But once it was pointed out to me I realized it might.
I don't know if it is a great song or not.
I don't think I know what a great song is any more. I thought I knew at one time but not now.
I am just a little surprised that someone would think ill of me for removing the song.

Mornin' Bill,

I honestly don't think anyone DOES think ill of you. I think maybe some were just surprised is all. In all honesty..I never saw your song...so I don't know if it was good, bad or indifferent. I just saw the discussion and figured you were justified...because I KNOW what happens. I am working on a hook right now that I probably won't be posting either.

And yeah...I DO get up in the morning sometimes!! LOL

Hugs,
Bobbie