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#573248 01/07/08 04:01 AM
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I don't know, please take a hard look at this one. It is close, I'm getting a lot of good feedback. But it isn't making the mark to get forwarded on TAXI. I don't know what to do with it to make it better. Thanks for the help. Maybe I'm pitching for country and it truly is blues. What do you think?

Monica


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What listing are you submitting it for? On your soundclick you have labelled it "Blues : Country Blues" and it seems firmly entrenched in the blues genre. If you are you submitting it for a listing that calls for up-tempo country, you probably aren't going to get too far.

Kevin


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Kevin,

How would you recommend that this song be pitched?
Do you believe that the blues is correct? Or something else?

thanks.

Monica

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I cannot speak for Kevin but in my opinion as it stands it is pure blues performed in a country style. Kinda difficult to pitch as it does not really please either genre. I think you have to make up your own mind. Either change the arrangement to make it more of a country song or really do a classic blues production number.

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Jim can speak for me on this one.


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Hi Monica,
I'm not an expert, and definitely still working on "OK, Clapton = Blues" and learning my genres... so I'll let Jim & Kevin comment on that.

For me, it has a nice rhythm and moves along well, the playing is great and the singing is also just right for the song.

I felt the vocal might be a little too "out front," if you're able to pull it back in the mix a bit? that might help? I liked the backing vocals and thought that could be pulled a touch louder as well, maybe.

When I saw the title I thought right away of Cap'n Jack Sparrow and his classic "Why's the rum gone?" line from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Have you seen them?

Good luck with pitching it - it's nicely executed!

Linda

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Hi, Monica! In my opinion, as a listener and not an expert, this demo is not selling the song. Too slow, uninteresting accompaniment and I don't mean to be unkind but there are a lot of notes that are off key and some of the words need a softer ennunciation. Your voice (if that is you singing) has a very nice quality to it, but you need to have a greater command over it and a consistency in performance. I think these things are getting in the way of judging the song itself. Good luck to you.


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Hi Monica:

Can't offer any advice about genre or taxi....

I DO like the song. I like the vocal (yes a little pitchy in places, though I'm hardly one to talk) and I like the musical backing. Just not sure they go together. Vocal seems to me to be calling for a bigger production on the music.

Suspect I've just confused the issue smile

Scott

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Everyone,

Thanks for the critique. Not sure what to do with it. This wasn't made to be pitched. Basically, I go in a studio and sing accapella with a guitarist and we lay down the song in about 3 hours. So, that is the level of effort that is put in this demo. The purpose is for critiques and then to redo. But, what concerns me is that I'm not hearing the off key notes. I will have to have my vocal coach hear this one and offer guidance.

thank you everyone.

Monica

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Monica, I'm married to a girl from Pittsburgh, so I think you girls from PA are great already. This has an OH DARLIN' by the Beatles feel to it ...mixed with blues and country...There are a few things...the music is not original enough to be considered catchy in today's market. The melody doesn't pull me through so to speak...it's just kind of there, there aren't areas along the way that keep me on the edge lyrically , too many baby's, needs some rewriting. The Whiskey's Gone is a great hook, I just think it needs a stronger story around it, tell me how it makes you feel, I wanna feel that desperation, that anger , bitterness, details on why she's downin' the bottle, go over the edge if ya have too, but in my opinion a song like this needs a groove injection to get forwarded. You are wise to get this worked out before you spend money on a pro demo, and the idea is surely worth honing to perfection. All the best and no harm meant here, only constructively for the sake of your song becoming a viable pitch once its demo'd..the guys at magicshack would help bring this to life once you've done the rewrite, rewrite sucks sometimes, I know that very well...Moker

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Originally Posted by Moker Jarrett
Monica, I'm married to a girl from Pittsburgh, so I think you girls from PA are great already. This has an OH DARLIN' by the Beatles feel to it ...mixed with blues and country...There are a few things...the music is not original enough to be considered catchy in today's market. The melody doesn't pull me through so to speak...it's just kind of there, there aren't areas along the way that keep me on the edge lyrically , too many baby's, needs some rewriting. The Whiskey's Gone is a great hook, I just think it needs a stronger story around it, tell me how it makes you feel, I wanna feel that desperation, that anger , bitterness, details on why she's downin' the bottle, go over the edge if ya have too, but in my opinion a song like this needs a groove injection to get forwarded. You are wise to get this worked out before you spend money on a pro demo, and the idea is surely worth honing to perfection. All the best and no harm meant here, only constructively for the sake of your song becoming aviable pitch once its demo'd..the guys at magicshack would help bring this to life once you've done the rewrite, rewrite sucks sometimes, I know that very well...Moker


Great feedback Moker



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great vocals MONICA

but in my opinion it doesnt pass the one minute test.....you got one magic minute to grab em on a demo as far as whats sent or presented on music row.......so its too slow picking up steam and i would solve that by throwing in some brass and piano blues music......i know that kicks up the demo budget but i think your song would be greatly improved by that.......cause otherwise it has that "open mike" kinda feel to it and publishers do not go for anything they feel aint radio ready....even some "band in the box" stuff would-i think help you get a feel for what you wanna have in the final finished version to send in to music row......i think you are a very good singer just the same........good luck!

TOM

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Monica,
your intonation is a little flat in places but but your vocals remind me alot of Janis Joplin...quite alot really. If you intend to sell this as a blues song then i suggest that you add a french harp or slide guitar or both.


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