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#566347 - 12/10/07 04:20 AM Any Haiku writers out there?  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
tedsingingfox Offline
tedsingingfox  Offline

Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
Taos, NM
A well written, well concieved Haiku will knock me out every time. Telling an entire story, voicing a complete thought in only 17 syllables and in such a strict arrangement...5/7/5...Amazing. And tough.

I try them out a LOT, with limited success, mostly 'cause I think it's a great discipline for concise lyrics...

I thought I ought to post one of my own creation (since I'm hoping y'all will do the same) to get things going, and then I'll follow it up with my ALL-time favorite traditional Japanese Haiku...

Mine:

The truest of tears
Seem to me to be the ones
Shed in Gratitude

ALL-time Fave:

I asked the plum tree
Sister, speak to me of God
And the plum tree bloomed


so, anybody else have one to add?

Ted

#566354 - 12/10/07 07:59 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: tedsingingfox]  
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 2,401
Hummingbird Offline
Hummingbird  Offline

Top 100 Poster

Joined: May 2005
Posts: 2,401
Victoria, B.C. Canada
Ha, I had to go dig out some of my old journals to find these. Dusty. And now I'm glad you prompted me to do that, because 20 or 30 years ago I typed up all my poetry into one huge manuscript - and now I notice the type is fading (I used a manual typewriter... anyone remember those). I better get this stuff copied before it fades away entirely.


big
blue eyes
streams of laughter
soft silky innocent love
baby


so
far away
you are being
i am here alone
empty


(c) Vikki Flawith. All Rights Reserved.


Vikki Flawith: Songwriter/Composer, Singer/Voice Teacher

12Feb10- *NEW BLOG: "BE YOUR OWN GURU ;)"

MY STORY & MY MUSIC: http://www.vikkiflawith.com
Be a FAN: http://www.reverbnation.com/vikkiflawith
#566502 - 12/10/07 11:47 PM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: tedsingingfox]  
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 42
Raags Offline
Serious Contributor
Raags  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 42
Milwaukee, WI USA
Hi Ted,

Happy to see you here! smile

I find Haiku poetry kind of quirky, but interesting if done really well... and I can't find my files just now, but I did find some Haiku that were sent to me long ago that brought a different kind of tears to my eyes!

Japanese Microsoft error messages in Haiku:

Your file was so big
It might be very useful
But now it is gone

Three things are certain
Death, taxes, and lost data
Guess which has occurred

The website you seek
Cannot be located but
Countless more exist

Now... if I can only find my heartfelt serious ones... I'll share those too! Cheers! smile

Raags

Last edited by Raags; 12/11/07 12:39 PM.
#566552 - 12/11/07 02:43 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: Raags]  
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403
Joe Wrabek Offline
Top 40 Poster
Joe Wrabek  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 6,403
Garibaldi, OR USA
I always had trouble thinking of seventeen syllables as "poetry." That said, here's one from a while ago:

The cowboys rented
Some new X-rated movies
The sheep are frightened

Joe

#566733 - 12/11/07 06:21 PM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: Joe Wrabek]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,527
Mark Kaufman Offline
Mark Kaufman  Offline

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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 6,527
Minneapolis
Paul's bass, monster tone
on Helter Skelter, the best!
Huh? That was John? ...oh.

#566776 - 12/11/07 08:28 PM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: Mark Kaufman]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
tedsingingfox Offline
tedsingingfox  Offline

Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
Taos, NM
Hey, y'all.

So, Vikki, is that considered "proper" haiku form? I thought it was strictly 3 lines, 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables. Or is it purely based on a total of 17 total syllables? Regardless, I loved that first one. And sounds like you BETTER get to work on scanning that stuff...

Raags, those are TOO funny. (Good to see by THIS avatar how you turned out as an adult...wow!) Add the heartfelt ones when you can find them.

Joe, that one almost made me shoot my cranberry juice out my nose. Thank you for sharing. eek crazy grin

Hey, Lyle. Nicely done. (and I thought that was Paul, too.)

I'll dig up a few more and come back with them later.

Ted

#566865 - 12/12/07 01:01 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: tedsingingfox]  
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 42
Raags Offline
Serious Contributor
Raags  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 42
Milwaukee, WI USA
Originally Posted by tedsingingfox
Raags, those are TOO funny. (Good to see by THIS avatar how you turned out as an adult...wow!)


Thank you for such a sweet comment. smile Yeah, I was thinking... would the TAXI folks appreciate the adult avatar more? The little me in that little pool isn't sure...

Found a few more funny ones from that file... but still no heartfelt ones yet. Sigh, I'm moving my office this month and everything is asunder!

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

Having been erased
This document you’re seeking
Must now be redone

Originally Posted by tedsingingfox
Joe, that one almost made me shoot my cranberry juice out my nose. Thank you for sharing. eek crazy grin


ROTFL!! Me too, Lyle! I burst out laughing, eating an oatmeal cookie as I your note, Ted. THAT is too funny! Now it feels like I've got a piece of raisin in my nose! crazy

Raags

Last edited by Raags; 12/12/07 01:03 AM.
#567133 - 12/13/07 05:43 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: Raags]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 170
James M Offline
Serious Contributor
James M  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 170
Kentucky
When time first began
It was He and only He
Who heard the Big Bang

Last edited by James M; 12/14/07 01:39 AM.
#567403 - 12/14/07 12:10 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: James M]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
tedsingingfox Offline
tedsingingfox  Offline

Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
Taos, NM
That's VERY cool, James. Thanks for sharing that at this time of year.

Ted

#567432 - 12/14/07 02:00 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: tedsingingfox]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 170
James M Offline
Serious Contributor
James M  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 170
Kentucky
Glad you liked it Ted, and I hope you also like the edited version I just posted. I'm new at writing Haiku so all my efforts in this style are works in progress and subject to
sudden and drastic changes.

#567434 - 12/14/07 02:09 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: James M]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
tedsingingfox Offline
tedsingingfox  Offline

Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
Taos, NM
Still works for me. Fell free to post more.

Ted

#567953 - 12/16/07 02:52 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: tedsingingfox]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Here we go again
American Idol time
Songwriters ready?


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#568470 - 12/18/07 02:07 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
tedsingingfox Offline
tedsingingfox  Offline

Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
Taos, NM
Beth, that is GREAT. (And I roll my eyes in your honor... crazy)

Ted

#568476 - 12/18/07 02:21 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: tedsingingfox]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hi, Ted (or should I say, Hi-KOO, Ted!)

Thanks for the sweet comment. I haven't been around much, so it's nice to know that a relative newbie could find me!! Come on over to the Lyric Forum Feedback 3 thread, lots' of fun stuff over there....

Ciao for now,
Beth (aka, Mz Beth, Boo)

P.S. Taos, huh? I'm just outside of Boston, and we've got about 10 inches of snow on the ground, and today's windchill was 4. As in DEGREES....as in FAHRENHEIT!! Don't get too hot out there!!


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#568569 - 12/18/07 12:52 PM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
Top 10 Poster
"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Tampa, Florida since 1973
HiDee Mz Beth et al!

Here are a few fresh-minted for Da Season:

Ah, It's Christmas Time!
Sales spill from my newspaper
Find the wastebasket...

Christmas comes again
I love the warmth of rum punch
Damn, I hate the cold

Christmas is tougher:
Drive by the Corner Wino
& the Guilt builds up.

Season's Best,
Big Hugs,
Stan

#569320 - 12/20/07 11:26 PM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
tedsingingfox Offline
tedsingingfox  Offline

Serious Contributor

Joined: May 2006
Posts: 67
Taos, NM
Originally Posted by Beth G. Williams
Hi, Ted

P.S. Taos, huh? I'm just outside of Boston, and we've got about 10 inches of snow on the ground, and today's windchill was 4. As in DEGREES....as in FAHRENHEIT!! Don't get too hot out there!!



Hey, Mz Beth.

I lived directly at the foot of that red and white checkered water tower at the VA hospital in Chelsea, looking out across the Tobin Bridge toward Fanuel Hall for nearly 4 years. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Boston and all my dear friends there. (Also worked at the Morton's Steak House --in the Darth Vader Building on Boylston-- for my last two years in the city.)

You should head out this way. The ski valley has a 73" base, and there's another storm heading in tomorrow that's expected to drop another 10". Plus, they're predicting snowfall Xmas Eve night. (Cue Bing Crosby....)

grin

Ted

#569562 - 12/22/07 01:45 AM Re: Any Haiku writers out there? [Re: tedsingingfox]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey Ted,

Sure is a small world....worked at 535, 745 and 855 Boylston street respectively during the late 80's into the mid-90's. Love Boston too, but never seem to get in often enough. These days, a big trip is heading into the mall in Natick!

Regarding your ski report,thankso -- but you probably haven't been around long enough to know just how funny that proposition would be. Aside from my displeasure with skiing in general (it's cold, it's expensive, you have to wake up early, I'm afraid of heights, etc.) I'm an orthopedically challenged specimen. I'm currently nursing a broken arm, a broken ankle, and a rebroken foot, SOOOO, the latest foul weather here has not been a welcome situation for me personally.
We'll have the White Christmas for the youngins, then they can clear it all out as far as I'm concerned.

So here's another haiku for the occasion:

I'll do APRES ski
Cocoa and schnappes by the fire
No hope for hat head


Ciao for now,
Beth



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."

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