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My Get Up and Go Has Got Up And Went (Neil Cotton Nov. 07)
Since you took off for LA with that movie mogul I got as much spirit as a shore dead rotten seagull Just can’t get myself to face the void in my day My heart’s stuck in neutral pain won't pump away
~C~ My get up and go has got up and went Seems all I had in my life’s been spent We planned a house in Sleepy hollow A Collie our four kids could follow I feel very little of me is left since My get up and go has got up and went
Adding more black and blue hurt to my aching heart I hear that George Clooney cast you a sexy part You’re playing the role of his devoted squeeze Nell You should do great since we rehearsed it so well
My get up and go has got up and went Seems all I had in my life’s been spent We planned a house in Sleepy hollow A Collie our four kids could follow I feel very little of me is left since My get up and go has got up and went
~B~ You’d lift me up get me ready to go That’s why I called you my “get up and go”
My get up and go has got up and went Seems all I had in my life’s been spent We planned a house in Sleepy hollow A Collie our four kids could follow I feel very little of me is left since My get up and go has got up and went
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Hi Neil,
I like the hook here. I think it might help if you don't rhyme "go with "go" in your bridge. Perhaps some other idea there. Also in your Chorus you have:
My get up and go has got up and went Seems all I had in my life’s been spent We planned a house in Sleepy hollow A Collie our four kids could follow I feel very little of me is left since My get up and go has got up and went
Thought maybe you could change the 4th line so it would read:
My get up and go has got up and went Seems all I had in my life’s been spent We planned a house in Sleepy hollow White picket fence and kids (children) to follow I feel very little of me is left since My get up and go has got up and went
Just some ideas.
Best, Lynn
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Lynn thanks for stopping by you have made 2 good observations
Neil
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The hook is great Neil The chorus is the strong point, Not sure if I enjoy the part where you name drop clooney, But that's just me I don't like name dropping in songs, Hope he chases after his get up and go! Come on man, get up and go! Take care man, thanks again for the read
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Howdy, Neil. Clearly a great hook and a solid idea. I really like the direction you went with this.
One thought (and that took all the effort I could muster :0) I like the explanation in the bridge as to why you called her your "get up and go", but by the time I got to that explanation, I was already "assuming" you were talking about your physical condition. If I had understood earlier in the song, I would "get it" the first time you hit the hook.
As folks around here will attest, I'm no pro, so I could be totally off the mark on this, but the way I see it, If you have too much food for thought, you can always put the leftovers in a ziplock and keep it for another day, or just throw it away.
Good Song! Good Luck!
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airun...once she's been in the movies, she's "WENT" LOL
Peter...the late arrival is meant to be the twist/punch line...maybe it's not working
Thanks guys for you kind remarks !! Neil
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Hey Neil
I think I see where the problem lies here. I agree with Peter this one needs to have the piece about her being the get up and go established early. for the twist in the bridge I think you need to either establish why she left or establish that he's moving on now. I think what we need here is some resolve but this is all my opinion. All in all loved the hook and truly the song is well written as is it would just be more well written with some changes Keep or sweep lol Derek
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Derek & Peter...you guys have me thinking on this...oh oh look out LOL Neil
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 12/01/07 12:04 PM.
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My Get Up and Go Has Got Up And Went (Neil Cotton Nov. 07)
Since she dumped me for that slimy LA movie mogul I’ve got as much spirit as a shore dead rotten seagull Just can’t get myself to face the void in my day My heart’s stuck in neutral pain won't pump away
~C~ My get up and go has got up and went I feel the best part of my life is gone We planned for a house on Paulson Ridge A Collie our darling kids could play with I feel the best part of my life is gone My get up and go has got up and went
Adding more black and blue hurt to my aching heart I hear that George Clooney cast her in a sexy part She’s playing the role of his devoted squeeze Nell She should do great since we rehearsed it so well
My get up and go has got up and went I feel the best part of my life is gone We planned for a house on Paulson Ridge A Collie our darling kids could play with I feel the best part of my life is gone My get up and go has got up and went
~B~ She’d lift me up get me ready to go That’s why I called her my “get up and go”
My get up and go has got up and went I feel the best part of my life is gone We planned for a house on Paulson Ridge A Collie our darling kids could play with I feel the best part of my life is gone My get up and go has got up and went
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 12/01/07 01:09 PM.
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HiDee Bro Neil!
2 Sugs, Amigo:
I'd recommend a scosh More-Humor in 2nd last Chorus Line: "Now I'm the Only One payin' Our Rent"
and da Bridge:
"I got too-busy to shower-each-day/ She fell for That Limo (& His After-Shave!)"
(K-O-S)
& "KUDOS" on a Good'n', Amigo!
Good Luck with it, & a Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Stan, fuuny bridge...but I'll do with what I have...double entendre and all
Thanks for stopping by Neil
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Hey Neil, I saw the title in the "What's Going ON" box and thought this might have been an old Pete Seeger song from the sixties. Here's a link to Seeger singing it on the Smothers Brothers Show from back then: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3J0Q5SMTEM0&feature=relatedHe wrote the music to a poem whose author was unknown. I doubt if more than a few folks would remember it, so it shouldn't be a problem concerning your song (good writing, by the way), but I thought you might like to see this. It's like John Lennon wrote: "There's nothing you can sing that hasn't been sung." All the Best, Mike
You've got to know your limitations. I don't know what your limitations are. I found out what mine were when I was twelve. I found out that there weren't too many limitations, if I did it my way. -Johnny Cash It's only music. -niteshift Mike Dunbar Music
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Mike I am aware of the Seeger version thanks
Neil
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Neil,
My father often used this phrase. Never thought of it as a song hook until I saw your post, however. Now I'll go back through my Dad's sayings and see what else I might have missed.
Good work. Here are some of my favorite lines...
I hear that George Clooney cast you a sexy part You’re playing the role of his devoted squeeze Nell You should do great since we rehearsed it so well
Ouch!
Keep writing.
Skip
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Hey, Neil. I like the rewrite. Everything seems to fit together better now. I'm just a little worried that we scared you away from your original intent. The vibe was more "tounge-in-cheek" now there is a lot more pain. I hope Derek and I didn't force you to the dark side ;-)
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Peter
I ran with it...no problem...it has no future either LOL
Neil
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