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#563340 - 11/29/07 04:39 PM Here I Am !  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
Top 50 Poster

Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Here I Am (Neil Cotton Nov.’07)

She’s the one who was pregnant half way through fifteen
Gave up her baby, got hooked by amphetamines
All this happened because of the way she felt
Being number two of three made her feel left out

The middle child’s the wild child
The one who feels ignored
Acting out to get attention
Saying here I am
Can be a little odd but not always bad
The middle child’s the wild child
Saying here I am

She was helped through social work and became drug free
Returned to high school, graduated twenty three
College barely accepted her in law enforcement
Now she's the first girl cop in her detachment

The middle child’s the wild child
The one who feels ignored
Acting out to get attention
Saying here I am
Can be a little odd but not always bad
The middle child’s the wild child
Saying here I am

B~
Friday night at the Wild Boar bar, a full house fight begins
The police arrive to break it up and guess who leads them in

The middle child’s the wild child
The one who feels ignored
Acting out to get attention
Saying here I am
Can be a little odd but not always bad
The middle child’s the wild child
Saying here I am

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 11/30/07 11:21 AM.
#563872 - 12/01/07 03:33 AM Re: Here I Am ! [Re: Neil Cotton]  
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 407
Laura G. Offline
Serious Contributor
Laura G.  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 407
Charlotte, NC
I like this song. The only suggestion I have is something like:

Not the oldest or the youngest or the best at anything.
But stuck in the middle (and looking for a dream, lost somewhere between, or if you want to get cheesy you could use: like Oreo cream smile

I'd like to get a little more of the nowhere land that the middle child lives in, not being the "est" in the family.

Laura G.

#563888 - 12/01/07 06:14 AM Re: Here I Am ! [Re: Laura G.]  
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
Aaron Authier Offline
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Aaron Authier  Offline
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,413
Hey Neil, I am a middle child, Not really wild though
But she is! I like the twist and how she became a responsible person, that was really good and it made me feel happy for her

Only a tiny world replacement suggestion,
Gave up her baby got hooked on amphetamines

Thanks for the post, take care!

#563893 - 12/01/07 07:09 AM Re: Here I Am ! [Re: Aaron Authier]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 204
PeterJ Offline
Serious Contributor
PeterJ  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 204
South OrangeCounty, California...
Howdy again, Neil.
I like this one.
With all due respect to your prose style, my eyes stumbled over one line.
Returned to high school, graduated twenty three
This just seems a little disjointed.
Perhaps something like
Earned her diploma when she turned twenty three
or Got back in school, got her diploma at twenty three

This is a strong song about personal responsibility and the duty of a society to provide for those in need. Most importantly, I see it as a song that says what goes around comes around. Society helped her, now she gives back.
That's a beautiful thing.


If music be the food of love, why is it so hard to keep my family fed?

Pete
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=734566
http://cwmusicpf.zoomshare.com/
#563909 - 12/01/07 08:16 AM Re: Here I Am ! [Re: PeterJ]  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Neil Cotton Offline
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Neil Cotton  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,909
Georgetown, ON,CANADA
Laura
You want the middle child situation spelled out more...I understand...Hmmm

airun...thanks for the suggestion...which will sing better hooked on or hooked by...the mouth, using by, is ready to say amph...I think

Peter...you have some good points re that highschool line

Thanks to each of you for stopping by!

Neil

Last edited by Neil Cotton; 12/01/07 08:20 AM.

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