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#548417 - 10/12/07 09:06 AM Arenít You Even Interested?  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
Derek Hines Offline
Derek Hines  Offline

Top 100 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
United States Oregon
Ok I must admit it was weird penning one from the female
Perspective but it was also fun! Hope you ladies enjoy it.

Arenít You Even Interested?

1st Verse
I had a real rough morning
Still kept the whole house clean
Iím tired my backs aching
I aint just some machine
I know you had to work
But I need you to lend an ear
Thereís a few words
I need you to hear

Chorus
Donít turn a blind ear to me
Till you see what I have to say
I know your tired and worn out
You say the same thing everyday
This is an important subject
Needing some real attention
Arenít you even interested?

2nd Verse
You say the game is coming on
Ya aint got no time to squawk
I tell you something mister
Better listen or Iíll walk
Thereís some specific requests
I need to make of you
Please donít say 1 word
Till Iím finished with you

Chorus
Donít turn a blind ear to me
Till you see what I have to say
I know your tired and worn out
You say the same thing everyday
This is an important subject
Needing some real attention
Arenít you even interested?

Bridge
Hey babe get into that bed and tell me talk is cheap
I aint spending no more time crying myself to sleep

3rd Verse
All I want is tender loving
Not trying to jump your case
Listen to my words of love
Iíll put a smile on your face
If you want Iíll talk dirty
Letís have some fun tonight
Whatever you say to me
Will make things alright!

Chorus
Donít turn a blind ear to me
Till you see what I have to say
I know your tired and worn out
You say the same thing everyday
This is an important subject
Needing some real attention
Arenít you even interested?

Tag
So tell me big boy?
Arenít you even interested?

Last edited by Derek Hines; 10/12/07 09:44 AM.

All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346
#548472 - 10/12/07 12:37 PM Re: Arenít You Even Interested? [Re: Derek Hines]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
Derek Hines Offline
Derek Hines  Offline

Top 100 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
United States Oregon
hmm I thought the title alone would draw attention?


All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346
#548603 - 10/12/07 09:07 PM Re: Arenít You Even Interested? [Re: Derek Hines]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Tampa, Florida since 1973
Hi Bro D!

There may well be Gals Like This out there. Somehow, this Lady's got a lotta Testosterone to her...JMO.

She seems, JMO, to lack That Romantic Touch that Gals DO Respond to. (Remember the Adage, Men are Dogs, Gals are Cats. Comes in Handy!~) Most..like a cat..CAN "Take Us or Leave Us."

The gal here seems maybe Too-Desperate-for-The-Deed..(Too Masculine-a-Trait.) I'd guess nowadays that IF her man's NOT Interested, she knows how EASY it is to Take Her Business Somewhere ELSE...rather than Beggingly-Ask "Aren't you even interested." (A Guy WOULD, of course, Ask That Question.)(Arf-Arf!)

But..with many a gal..it's a matter of Self-Esteem...& I've not seen too many who were that far "Down" enough to have to ask-for-it. (Me-Ow!)

All JMO, Amigo. Oh...da Minor Stuff: IF ya can say YOU ARE when ya write "Your"...then it's "You're"..(The Contraction.) If it BELONGS to you, it's "your". (The Possesive Pronoun.)

Apostrophes in 'Till, ain't...

That is all. Hope some Gal comments further on it, if only to tell me I'm Wrong~!

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

#548630 - 10/12/07 11:04 PM Re: Arenít You Even Interested? [Re: ]  
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 672
Mark Schuessler Offline
Serious Contributor
Mark Schuessler  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 672
Lockport, NY, USA
Derek:

Man, I think you write more songs in a week than I have in my entire life!

This wasn't one of my favorites of your songs. The woman seems a little naggy and desperate. I liked Stan's Dog-Cat thing. I would rather hear this song where a woman is making the same point but with a little more "Cat" style - maybe while she's putting on makeup to go out with her friends that night.

Good line: Donít turn a blind ear to me

Mark



"In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not."
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=756982
#548639 - 10/13/07 12:04 AM Re: Arenít You Even Interested? [Re: ]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
Derek Hines Offline
Derek Hines  Offline

Top 100 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
United States Oregon
Well all

I guess it's back to the drawing board with this one. Thanks Mark for your critique you and Stan may have a point there. Amigo sorry to be cluttring the board with this trash I'll leave it for ya kind folks to sweep it to the 3rd page (oops I think this post might put it back at the top lol. Just ignore this one people wasn't sure what I was thinking.
Sincerely
Derek


All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346
#548644 - 10/13/07 12:15 AM Re: Arenít You Even Interested? [Re: Mark Schuessler]  
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 120
Monica L. Yasher Offline
Serious Contributor
Monica L. Yasher  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 120
Pittsburgh, PA
All right. I'll be the first woman perspective. You have both of them starting off tired. She's tired from cleaning. He's tired from working. Nothing is most likely going to happen. You have her talking dirty yet she wants loved tenderly? They sorta don't go together.

I like the blind ear and see what I have to say. Maybe try to build more around the visual/hearing perspective. Make it hot.

I can't see an artist saying "big boy" in country music. With this tone, it needs to be a blues tune. You can get away with this tone and get a cut. But, then you have to get rid of the weaker references to her character like crying. She better be belting out what she wants and mean it.

Those are my thoughts. What do the women in your life say?




#548698 - 10/13/07 05:48 AM Re: Arenít You Even Interested? [Re: Monica L. Yasher]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
Derek Hines Offline
Derek Hines  Offline

Top 100 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
United States Oregon
Hey Monica

OK good to get the female perspective here. Thanks I think I can see where this one is going. Back to the drawing board and if not there then in the trash can. Thanks for your honest opinion.
Sincere Blessings
Derek


All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346
#548737 - 10/13/07 11:03 AM Re: Arenít You Even Interested? [Re: Derek Hines]  
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 120
Monica L. Yasher Offline
Serious Contributor
Monica L. Yasher  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 120
Pittsburgh, PA
Oh my! NEVER
EVER
In the trash can!

Do you know how many songs I have that I wouldn't use? Yet, there is still one glorious line in that song that I can use in a better song to make it great?

Make sure you always keep them and refer back. I hear that the people that make it in the industry write maybe 12 songs a year. But, they work on one or two lines a week. Don't rush the magic. You know what happens when you sing out of time. It applies to writers on another plane.

Take care.

#548740 - 10/13/07 11:15 AM Re: Arenít You Even Interested? [Re: Monica L. Yasher]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
Derek Hines Offline
Derek Hines  Offline

Top 100 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
United States Oregon
Hi Monica

I get what your saying and no I didn't mean literally in the trash I just mean the lyric itself may not go anywhere. I have a bunch I haven't even posted simply cause I don't think they are worthy of posting. Though I must make sure they are cause I do tend to post a lot and I try (try being the word here) not to post stuff that won't work at all. now that said I think i do tend to post a bunch of stuff that isn't absoulutely perfect but I try to at least make it palatable. i think I've written about 5 songs this morning (over a 3 hour period) And if anymore come I'll write them as well. But I'll probably work on them some more before posting. Thanks for your encouragement i appreciate it!
Sincere Blessings
Derek


All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346

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