JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum They Come and They Go. Tiffany Carlen on vocal

This song started earlier as a collab with Linda Adams, and has come to a finish with my lyrics, Linda and Tiffany on music arrangement, and Tiffany Carlen on the vocal and final instrumental. I'm very pleased with this last version and I hope you enjoy it, as well. Let us know what you think.

Please click on my signature link at the bottom and that will take you to my soundclick music page.

THEY COME AND THEY GO

V1
I wake up wondering. Did he tell me his name?

He just came to plunder .That’s part of the game

He’s just like the others . Gone before the sunrise

So, why do I bother? I’ve heard all the lies

CHORUS:

Questions unanswered . But who wants to know
It doesn’t really matter. They come and they go
Dreams get tattered . Wind tossed and blown
It doesn’t really matter. They come and they go
. They come and they go

V2
I Wonder if he’ll call. They usually don’t
Sometimes I fall .But this time, I won’t

Sleepin’ with strangers And wakin’ up alone
I know there’s danger, but it’s all I’ve ever known.

REPEAT CHORUS

BRIDGE: Get up and start the coffee pot
Light up my first cigarette
He's not worth a second thought
Just a stranger in my bed.
Another stranger in my bed


REPEAT THE CHORUS

Hey whoever did what, ya'll did pretty good. I like the lyrics in the bridge, musically it didn't seem to quite fit the mood, for me anyway. Like the verse melody, chorus ok. Guess it's a girl kind of song huh?

Hi Louis. I forgot to mention that this song is a "spin off" from a song written by fellow songwriter Philip Jones. He wrote the guys version about sleepin' with strangers. I got to thinking about the girl the singer left in the morning. And this is what developed. So yeah, it's a girl's song, in a way.
The bridge music was developed to convey the idea that she's getting up and moving around, after just waking and pondering the night before.

ok I get ya now, like waking up from a bad dream

Hi Marlene:

Nice vocal, Tiffany!

I will say that this version seems to have a more conventional melody and is probably therefore more accessible than the previous version.

That said, I prefer the previous version - it was out there and different.

I accept that that might be exactly in the wrong direction for you

In any case, nice work on this one too!

Scott

Hi everybody!

This version is really pretty. Tiffany, I enjoy your voice, and your playing. It's kinda fun to see things evolve.

I pretty much just used Marlene's melody from the worktape she sent me. Tiffany did a nice job coming up with her own.

I had changed Marlene's original chords from major to minor (considering the topic seemed kinda minor), so it went from A to A minor. It was cool to hear Tiffany "play back" some of my arrangement there, too. I'm keyboard-challenged here at home--my acoustic is badly out of tune and not a great instrument to start with, and my MIDI Yamaha is (shall we say) low-end on quality. I can't play the thing nearly as well as a "real" keyboard.

So it's nice to hear the chords played so beautifully. Neat!

I'm glad to know you're happy with it, Marlene!
Nice work. Tiffany--it's an interesting song to work with, isn't it? Marlene, I still like the uniqueness of your angle & lyrics. Thank you again for the opportunity to contribute to it. It was cool to work on.

Linda

PS: Scott, my version is still up if you want it, but I'm not posting it for any further review. (I'll send you the link by PM.)

Linda - your beginning chords were my inspiration. I just loved it and the rest just flowed right from it. You are not keyboard challenged as you did a great job...the keyboard is challenged, as some are! I too am very greatful that I was able to contribute and I thank you both for the opportunity.

Let me join the mutual admiration society, here, Y'all.
Scott, thanks for the listen and the comments. I understand just what you mean. It's probably a matter of genre. Linda followed along with what I told her and, IMO came up with a somewhat dramatic version. Tiffany's spin was more along conventional lines, perhaps with a country lean.
This was a fun learning experience for me cause I could see how the same information can take off in different directions.
The fact is, these lyrics would never have gone anywhere if left to my devices. Thank heavens for the internet.

And I told Marlene straight up that I don't have the right DNA to make it Country. heehee. Which was OK too. It sounds nice this way though.

Maybe I should write for Broadway. LOL.

OK, I'm off to hear some other songs now! Have a good evening, all!

Linda

Nice job girls. I didn't hear the original, but this is real good and I love your vocals Tiffany.

Rick

Thanks Rick! I took a listen to your rock song you posted, the one where you wrote the lyrics. It was all good. I didn't get a chance to post a comment yet, but I will.

Thanks again Linda.

All - keep in mind this is jsut a work tape as I know my piano playing is not in consistent time. I need to use my metronome!!!!

This version is a little shorter than the other which is good from what I understand (don't want it to be too long) and tempo is faster. I like the keyboards in this one. I don't really want to compare the two, but I like the instrumental and tempo of this, and I like both vocals just the same. Ben

http://benwillismusic.com

Hi RICK Thanks for the listen and the comments.

Hi BEN I was hoping there wouldn't be comparisons on here. That's why I pulled the other version. I think it's an apples and oranges thing, cause of the genre change.
Yes, you're right about the length. I was concerned about that. Thanks for listening and the nice comments.

I'm bumping for any other suggestions before Tiffany gets with her music people and finalizes this.

There were a lot of things I liked about this starting with the piano arrangment. It was a great backdrop for the vocals, which were terrific. The melody, especially in the verses, is poignant, and the way it changes on the last line of the verse is killer. The lyrics were strong, too. I really liked: "Questions unanswered . But who wants to know".

The only thing I found a little distracting was the repetition of "They come and they go" at the end of the chorus.

Other than that, I liked this one a lot. Great job!

Thank you , MARK. Did you think it would work better with a repetition of the whole line..It doesn't really matter. They come and they go.? Or none at all? I asked Tiffany for a repeat of the last line in the chorus. The repeat of the title was what seemed to work for her.
I'm so happy you liked the song.

Marlene:

I felt like it kind of disrupted the flow of the song a little. Repeating the last two lines may make it flow better for me, but nobody else mentioned that at all, so maybe it's just the way it struck me. I really just wanted to give some feedback as a listener. And, overall, I really like the song!

Mark

Thank you Mark for your very kind words!!!!

Hey Ladies! (Nice to meet you, Tiffany!)

As Louis commented, whomever did what...it came out really nice. I dodnlt hear the original. But I do like this version. I think the compositional arrangement in the minor key really highlights the poignancy (hope that's a real word...it is now) of the well crafted lyrics. It is really difficult to get a three-way collab off the ground. This turned our very nicely!

Personally, I liked the repetition of just the last line of the chorus. Just goes to show, I guess, that there's not always a wrong or a right...just a preference. And God knows...you can't know the preference of everyone in the audience!

Very nicely done all around. And Tiffany, you have a very nice, easy-to-listen-to voice. Good luck with this, ladies!

Al

Thanks, Al
Most of your comments refer to the music and arrangement. So I'll leave any feedback to the artists in that area.
I understand what you're saying about a 3 way collab. In this case, If I hadn't......if Linda hadn't......then Tiffany wouldn't. So it really needed all of us to be what it is.
Thanks for the listen and the comments.

Marlene....Not a main stream piece....but you could hear this as a TV or Movie type backing song.....nice work by you all....great vocal....Bob

This was nicely done. However, I felt that the timing in the lyrics in the verses felt unbalanced, notably these lines:

Questions unanswered
It doesn't really matter
Dreams get tattered

It might help to swap the first two lines, even add a "with" to connect them. I think it's also stronger to have the last line match the first line instead of the second line.

It doesn't really matter. They come and they go
With questions unanswered, but who wants to know.
Dreams get tattered, wind-tossed and blown.
It doesn't really matter. They come and they go

Final nit - and these are just personal opinions - I think "scattered" would work better than "tattered", just because of the "t" sounds in "get" and "tossed", but of course this may not be what you want to say.

Thanks for the comments, ROBERT. Come on now, are you sure you can't invision Tiffany, top new female singer, on stage, with the spotlight softly enhancing the sad lyrics of her new top hit?
Hey ANT.
Tiffany has alread aknowledged that the timing is a bit off. But thanks for the heads up in that area. She's working on another presentation, with that in mind. As for the lyrics....I appreciate ANY input in that area. However, you may want to cover yourself with armour as you brave into this arena. Just kidding. We have been round and round on these lyrics. It's me that's being stubborn. I've only given into areas that need to be changed in order for the singer to present a smooth flow. The scattered would certainly work. But tattered seems to be the word of the moment. Like curtains blowing in the wind.
Thanks for the listen and the suggestions.

I just thought I'd mention I caught myself humming the melody from the verse of this song earlier today. I wasn't thinking about this song or JPF, just absently humming a tune. Nice work.

well..I wasnt able to listen to the song..my player wouldnt play darn it..

just thought I'd mention I caught myself humming the melody from the verse of this song earlier today. I wasn't thinking about this song or JPF, just absently humming a tune. Nice work.
_________________________
This is absolutely fantastic! A melody that worms its way into a listener's mind is all anyone can ask for.

Hi Heather. Gosh, I'm sorry you're having a problem with the player. I had one other person, on another board, mention the same problem.
Anyone else, on here, have this problem? Is there someone who knows about these things reading this? If so, do you think if I re-loaded the song, it would make a difference?

I tried again tonight.it sits for a long time loading and does nothing..I am on dial up ..but other songs do play ..

Might try re-uploading the song. Does it play OK for you, Marlene? Or is it just Heather? It played for me fine, but that was a few days ago.

Linda

Yeah, it plays ok for me. But I had the same problems when I was on dial up. That's why I switched to cable.
I'll try a reload.

I'm on cable, too, and I just loaded it again, no problem.

To me, this sounds like a 3/4 song trying to be 4/4 in that the sing isn't quite hanging with the feel of the music.
Like the idea even though I wonder about the plunder bitin reality, but it simply isn't fitting in my ear in a lot of places.
Graham

Yea gotta agree with Graham on the word "plunder"..would,nt be a word associated within this type of write...nice song if a bit unusual in a lot of ways...makes you feel a bit sorry for the subject matter...no direction in life or perhaps a smack of desperation...definately a "female" song..iam sure it would resonate a lot stronger with the fairer sex..but of course that is where the market is nowadays...if you happen to write a hit for the female market then your on a winner...they are by far the biggest purchasers of music..back to the song...nice vocal,if a bit undulating melody wise..sort of goes up hills and down dales,found the vocal a bit low at the start,then the singer seems to gain confidence as the song progresses...tho it is only a simple piano and vocal,it would'nt be hard to hear a weeping violin or cello playing along here...nice listen girls..
as i say unusual, but i dare say it could find a niche...because this is the type of song that with a little more polish and production...it definately could find its way on to an album cut..simply because, it has a strong female angle to it....
Good Luck....Terry Moore...

Thanks for the feedback on the soundclick, MARK.

Hi GRAHAM. Thanks for your feedback and your input on the prosody. This will be a consideration, I'm sure, as Tiffany gets ready for the final.

TERRY. I can't remember where and how that plunder got in there, but I think it came with the original song by Phil Jones. It was "grandfathered". LOL. I think I like the idea of it being unusual. That it might make the listener think about it for a bit. Try to make sense of it. I don't think it's that far off that the listener won't catch on to the kind of person the protagonist is.
As per the musical arrangement and the instruments, I've given that over to Tiffany and her take on it. I will pass your messages on to her. Thanks, so much.

Well.... 'plunder' rhymes with 'wonder' from the previous line.
If you change it, you have to change both.
"Wake up and wonder" works so well that "plunder" is allowable.
But--it is an unusual word to use.
Can't think of another though, that means the same.

Looking forward to the final draft!

Linda

Thanks for the thoughtful explaination for "plunder" Linda. I don't remember you and I ever stumbling on or over it.
Tiffany is working on her first album, so I'm not sure when she'll be able to finish up on this.
I'm looking forward to a finish, as well.

Hi Marlene! No we didn't stumble over it. But I noticed it, basically went through about the same thought process I described above and figured it worked out all right.

Linda

Im going to hear this song yet !! well..no I aint..wont play for me !! hmm

Have you tried to download it and run it through your usual MP3 player? That might work....
Very weird! Other songs are playing for you?
do-de-do-do do-de-do-do
"Twilight Zone" plays...

Linda

Heather, I'll try to send it to you.

Marlene, every one of you did so well on this song It felt soft, and gentle to listen to but, powerful enough to bring on tears.
love it,
Susie Cooper

Hi SUSIE All this time I thought LNT was a guy. Don't know why. Thanks so much for the listen and the comment. Most folks don't seem to be brought to tears, cause she does come across as a gal who should know better. Hee hee. But the rendition by Tiffany is very heartfelt.

HooRay, HEATHER. You did get to listen by email. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.

Hi Everybody,

Just wanted to let you know that I had several listens of the song and I really like the minor key melody and the vocal delivery here. I especially like the meter change in the bridge which makes it stand apart from both the verse and the chorus.

The only thing that seems at odds in song is that when I read the lyric without listening to your demo, it seems to suggest 'female attitude' whereas your melody has a certain poignancy to it and suggests more wistfulness than attitude. It still somehow works though and for a three way collab you guys all did a good job.

Peace,

Rachel

Thanks for stopping in for a listen and your feedback. We all worked very hard at getting the right message into this. Lyrics and performance both. I'm so grateful that Linda and Tiffany could "hear" the poignancy in the lyrics and give it just the right sound for making it stick with folks for awhile.

I finally got to hear this song..thanks for sending it to me Marlene..it's very pretty vocals are super ! ..I do agree with Ria though..I was expecting it to be more of an attitude song though from reading the lyrics (like I had to do since I coundnt hear the song until you sent it ! )

Hi Marlene,LNT is Bill,I think I log in as LNT without realizing it sometime. I should be logging in as LNT2.There are many Coopers who are lost in Texas
Susie

Hey Marlene

Just wanted to say hi...

Steve Altonian

http://www.soundclick.com/stevealtonian