JPF Home Page Forums Creative Arts Forums Creative Writing Forum BEFORE THE DAWN

Hi all, this one is a fairly accurate depiction of how life was for us, at the time when I was married.....Masako is a native Japanese girl, and the mother of my son...

BEFORE THE DAWN
for Masako Saito-Wilson

Is it everything we thought it'd be, and life just flows on easily
Or don't you wanna hear it anymore
'Cause I got better things to do, I can't stay here and die with you
I've no desire to even up the score

All these warm summer days begin to slowly turn and fade away
I'm staring down that long and open road
Somehow I'm far away it seems like in someone else's dream
I miss the simple things I used to know

Sick and tired, it's gone too far, don't care to fight you anymore
I thought our life together would be fun
Marriage is a lot of things, not just a pretty diamond ring
Are we ready for our little baby son?

I know your heart belongs overseas, you can never be at peace
Sometimes I can't see your point of view
But that don't mean we should separate, even if it's gettin' late
Love is more than memories and blues

Will you lift our souls away from here all the evils and the fears
To the planet we can call our very own
Are those words that we once said lying there forgotten, dead
While we wander searching for a home

I'm really not prepared to see what might become of you and me
Like who awakes to find the other gone
Soon, I know we'll be alright, just keep walkin' toward that light
It's always cold and dark before the dawn

Snake, I like the imagery here. I have found with every new relationship comes a share of cresote- we can walk through letting it build up or wipe it away when we see it start to form. Hope that makes sense and this finds you well, Anne

Anne, I wish I could meet you in person, and give the sweet woman who writes these wonderful crits a great big hug!!

Thank you honey, and as for the creosote?

I guess it's about how much you care for the whole affair, is a little outside interference gonna get in your way, or not?

Hi Snake

Good work here. I am new to writing poetry or creative writing. I decided to post a poem here after one of my lyrics become overly poetic. I am enjoying some of the freedom that seems to come with writing from this stand point. Loved the story told in your poem here. I am sorry it was rather bittersweet in the end. Hopefully you will have been given the strength to carry on inpsite of this. Do you still have a chance to see your son? Hope things are well
Sincerely
Derek

SH*T!

I wish that I could see my son, but the only way to do that would be to get my ex out of the way.......Ho hum.

Thanks for the words, now if a few more of you would respond, I could see some real perspectives about this issue....

Snake-

I'm not going to say that I know how you feel. Though we may wear the same shoes they're worn out differently and not the same size. But I think I know where you're coming from. If you've read any of my writing it mostly embraces that "fighting against a failure" mantality. Life, or marriage more specifically, seems like societies biggest lie. They, and by they maybe I mean the media, play marriage out to be some damn fairy tale. I had that for about the first year, and now it's just hard, and it's a fight every day to see why it's worth it. You have my sympathies regarding your son. I have two little boys and would die if I lost my rights with them. Perhaps I'm just rambling, but what I'm trying to get to is I can relate so well with this piece. I'm new to this board, but I already love that I can log on and feel like I'm not alone through all these wonderful stranger's words and masterpieces. I love this work and applaud your ability to word and coin your sitation so well.

ENCORE!!

How about the rest of you?

Any more perspectives on this one?

Snake.

I feel like this piece tells us who you are. That's what I love about writers and writing. We are able to express what we feel and put it out there for the world to see, warts and all. What would happen if we couldn't say those things and get the deep emotion out? Why don't you say these things to your ex? Tell her your deepest feelings, regrets, joys and dreams. You can do no more than that. I want you to be a friend as much as you can to your son's mother and a loving dad to your son. This, I wish for you.

Sincerely,

Jan

I have a few friends in marriages where one partner is from far, far away and gets terribly homesick. It can be a rough ride.

I can't begin to say I have any knowledge of what went wrong or where, or what the issues are that are keeping you apart from your son. Clearly, something went very wrong along the way.
I'm sorry to hear it, and I know it has to hurt something awful.

My faith insists (against the tide of popular opinion) that the family is the fundamental unit of society, and is worth working at and preserving. I believe that. It's terrible when a family falls apart. And it's happening so often.

Personally--I really can't stand the media's take on marriage and think that it's a lot of false advertising. That "honeymoon" phase is *supposed* to end... because that is just infatuation really... and no matter what, LIFE IS HARD WORK... in or out of marriage, childless or many children... Yeah. No matter what you do, it's not going to be a walk in the park. I don't think it was supposed to be. It's by *having problems* that we learn and grow. No problems, all fun, we tend to stagnate.

That doesn't mean "happily ever after" is a lie -- it's not, and my marriage proves it -- the lie is that it "just happens," WITHOUT hard work, selfless service to one another, and sacrifice thrown in the recipe. The trick is to LIKE each other and find enough in common--and be equally committed to the family--so that even though there are natural ups and downs in ANY relationship... you can weather the downs and enjoy the ups. True love is NOT about feeling ga-ga all the time. True love is loving your partner and getting used to their quirks. (Every human being has quirks! Pick a set you can put up with.) True love is caring more than or at least as much about your partner's happiness as you care about your own. Being selfless... hard-working... and willing to put time, effort and energy into sustaining a relationship. It's about 100% absolute fidelity and commitment.

Anyway... sorry to rant on your thread.... (and I don't mean to imply in any way shape or form that you didn't try all those things, because you really could have given it everything you had!! and it still takes two to make it all work...) but the media does very little to prepare people for the realities of life. And makes a mockery of the elements that are sacred (faith in God, genuine intimacy with another human being, etc), that actually help make the hard stuff easier. And with more and more divorced and re-divorced families, how are we to learn how to make anything last? Hm, uh, not from the media.

Reality is my husband of less than a year cleaning up after me when I was so morning-sick with our first child that I failed to make it to the bathroom. He didn't complain. He just took care of the mess (man I felt awful about that too) while I was leaning over the toilet. THAT is a best friend. THAT is love.

Real love doesn't look anything like the stupid rose-colored fake version they show you in the movies. Sometimes it isn't real pretty to look at either. But it's *real* love that will find you at 84 years old very comfy and so happy with your half-blind wife of 50+ years, painting her fingernails for her because she can't do it any more... so that when she brings her hand near her face, she can see them and know you love her.

Steve and I are at almost 19 years and counting. And very very happy together. Yep, a few fights in there and hard spots to get through (two miscarriages, lots of other stuff life flings your way), but overall he's been my best friend and supporter and vice versa. I love him to pieces and have faith that our love will go on forever. But it is WORK right along with being happy. We have to have our date night every Friday. We can't let outside stuff get in the way of our time for US. We have 'companion prayer' every evening before we go to sleep; and we pray as a family with the kids morning and night. We go to worship together and work to help each other grow and develop as individuals. And when we're frustrated with each other--we have to talk it out and work it out and figure out how to get along. And then we fall in love all over again. It's an awesome and amazing journey. Well worth all the effort, tears, and challenges that come along the way. Yes. Very, very worth it.

OK, you were probably more likely asking about the writing itself. It's very nicely done with clear and heartfelt emotions showing through. Lots of strength there in being able to express how you feel. Nice job. Writing it out can be great therapy too, so keep at it.

OK, I have to go. I promised Steve I'd give his smelly old dog its next bath, because he hates doing it.

Linda

"Why don't you say these things to your ex? Tell her your deepest feelings, regrets, joys and dreams. You can do no more than that. I want you to be a friend as much as you can to your son's mother and a loving dad to your son. This, I wish for you."

Thank You honey......very much.

Trust me, I told her, she knows......Masako came up with the title for this one....she said it reminded her of the coldest part of the day.....she saw it before anyone else ever did...

Linda, sweetie, your words are very profound and absolutely, honestly, and yes, frighteningly REAL.
That, my friend, is what the media cannot handle, it's much easier for them to feed us bullshit than it is to show us how life really is.

All of those things that you said about life being such a challenge for married couples to cope with and rise above, is the same thing that friends have to deal with........
And the largest majority of my friends are female.

True love is not always glossy and pretty, but it is true and it is what two people have to have if they want to make it work for any length of time.

Thank You, Linda, for all your words, your thoughts, and your love.......Just know that I love you, too.