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#544835 - 09/27/07 04:45 PM Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy...  
Joined: Apr 2007
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Massachusetts
Hey Gang!!

Seems a bit quiet around the boards these days, so thought I'd try to perk things up a bit. Having been meaning to take a step back from some of my more somber offerings of late and figured this might do the trick!

Enjoy, and all comments welcome! (BTW, we need to make sure Charlann sees this one... wink )

xoxo,
Beth



Instrument of Pleasure
ゥ Lyrics 2007 Beth Williams

Verse 1
Business takes you far away
But we manage to stay connected
By telephone, across the miles
A bridge can be erected

Verse 2
I set my cell to vibrate
In anticipation of your call
Long-distance foreplay playmate
Together we値l have a ball

Chorus:
I知 never alone
When I知 with my phone
It痴 a gift I値l always treasure
No need to delay
A desire to play
My instrument of Pleasure

Verse 3
It makes no difference where you land
No matter what the time zone
I just want you to understand
I値l get off too with just a dial tone

Bridge:
Sure make the most of our long distance phone plan
Celebrate every minute in the palm of my hand

Chorus:
I知 never alone
When I知 with my phone
It痴 a gift I値l always treasure
No need to delay
A desire to play
My instrument of Pleasure

Tag:
With this ring, I thee wed
With this ring, time for bed








http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#544836 - 09/27/07 04:59 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Joice Marie Offline
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Hi Boo boo

Great fun to read ! I like your playful one ringy dingy....that reminded me of the spoofy song "My Ding a ling" can't recall who did that one? Anyway. I have no nits on your piece, I think it's written well and timely ! smile jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
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#544837 - 09/27/07 05:05 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Joice Marie]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Thanks JM,

I had sort of a Stan moment with this one....I wrote it in about ten minutes, no kidding!

I don't recall who wrote My Ding-a-ling either...though that's surely just a Google-search away....as for the ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy, do you remember where that's from? hee hee

Anyway, glad you enjoyed it! It was MY PLEASURE blush grin!!

Down but not totally out,
Beth smile


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#544845 - 09/27/07 05:39 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Hi,

Fun read !!
Ding A Ling = Chuck Berry

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#544846 - 09/27/07 05:42 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Calvin]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Hi Calvin,

Thought this one might be up your alley!

Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the Chuck Berry info...

Adios,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#544859 - 09/27/07 06:38 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Aug 2003
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Richard G Blum (D) Offline
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Richard G Blum (D)  Offline
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Hey Beth

cute, cute, cute!

wasn't the one ringy dingy, two ringy dingy, thing a Lily Tomlin skit on Saturday Night Live...

rittman

#544872 - 09/27/07 08:19 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Richard G Blum (D)]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Hey Ritt,

Yes, it was Lily Tomlin, when she was the operator with the hair net...but I think it was way back in the "Laugh-In" days. She'd do a little snort in between too...Good memory!

Glad you enjoyed this one...I rarely get a "cute" on my ditties!!

Gotta go, the phones ringing wink wink "Hellooooooooooooo???"

Another Smooth Operator grin cool,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#544890 - 09/27/07 09:02 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Dec 2000
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John Voorpostel Offline
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John Voorpostel  Offline
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smile Beth...bet you don't answer the phone right away when it's vibrating ...which is wonderfully implied in your second verse and long distance foreplay playmate

Say, would you recommend Razr sharp or something a little more rounded? wink



If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#544917 - 09/27/07 11:03 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: John Voorpostel]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Massachusetts
Hey Johnboy,

Glad you enjoyed my little deviant ditty tonight!

As for your "preference" question, I'm really not all that particular....just as long as you can push all the right buttons.... :o grin

Need to go check my answering machine (ha ha ha)....
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545069 - 09/28/07 11:30 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Apr 2007
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Massachusetts
WHERE'S CHARLANN???

This was written partly with her in mind....the Queen of Long-Distance relationships... wink

There's that phone again....
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545072 - 09/28/07 11:47 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Wyman Lloyd Offline
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Morning Boo,
Hmmm, I say hmmmm,
Would hardly mainstream but could probably find a "late night niche" somewhere
Wy

#545073 - 09/28/07 11:51 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Massachusetts
Oh well, it was just a wrong number... grin

Anyway, Wyman, since when have I ever worried about the masses? :o This one is strictly for the pleasure of my fellow JPF-er's...and food for thought for any upcoming business trips... wink

I wonder if I should've somehow included CALLER ID or CALL-WAITING or BUSY SIGNAL???? Hmmmmm....Anyone feel like playing around with it, have at it... smile

Later!
Me


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545078 - 09/28/07 12:26 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Janice Hopkins Offline
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Janice Hopkins  Offline
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Michigan
Beth,

Thanks for the fun, CUTE, read. The double entendres....very well exucuted, while at the same time, not too far over the line. Loved it!!! Got DOWN RIGHT giddy with it....

Have more fun today,

Jan

#545084 - 09/28/07 12:35 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Brenda152 Offline
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Brenda152  Offline
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San Antonio,TX USA
This is fun and really good!!! I enjoyed it, didn't Lily's character have a name? I'm rackin' my brain trying to think of it.

#545092 - 09/28/07 01:15 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
Derek Hines Offline
Derek Hines  Offline

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United States Oregon
Beth

Oh my goodness gracious girl. This one is hot like as in lightening hot. I think you may need to tone it down a bit. either that or I need to wait till I get home to read it :o . Just hope the wife is up when I get there. And I thought Calvin was the raunchy randy king blush. sounds like he might have some competition for the crown now :o blush wink smiling all the way home
Sincerely
Derek

Last edited by Derek Hines; 09/28/07 01:16 PM.

All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346
#545115 - 09/28/07 02:42 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Janice Hopkins]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Hey Janice,

So glad you liked it...it was fun for me too -- even though it was a "quickie" to write!

Have a good one, and I bet the next time your phone rings, you're going to blush!! blush

Ciao for now,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545116 - 09/28/07 02:46 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Brenda152]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Massachusetts
Well Howdy Brenda!

Not sure that we've had the pleasure....but what a fun way to meet, right?

Anyhoo, after wondering myself and then stirred by your curiosity, I had to google it....Her name was ERNESTINE!! I actually went to a "Laugh-In" site, and boy, that show really was ahead of its time. The pictures of Lily Tomlin are exactly how I remembered her...

SOOOO, glad we got that settled, and thanks so much for the visit!

Ciao,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545119 - 09/28/07 02:52 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Derek Hines]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Massachusetts
Hey Derek,

See, maybe this whole song was partly inspired by your attempts to go on a sabbatical...what would we do without you??

It's funny, I thought of Calvin too....but I don't think I could KEEP UP with him in this category. This was a one-shot deal wink grin :o ! So as for toning it down, no way, man. :/

Anyway, glad I could offer you a little entertainment while you're still hanging around!!

Ciao for now,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545207 - 09/28/07 09:39 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Charlann Shepherd Offline
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Charlann Shepherd  Offline
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Burlington, KY, USA
Here I am!!!

This is wonderful Beth! I'm proud to have been your inspiration! Unfortunately, I still have another month to go before seeing my sweetheart again.

FYI - I have a special ringtone just for Tracy's phone calls - "Stairway to Heaven!"

Things have been crazy. I moved 2 weeks ago & I've been teaching science for the last 3 weeks instead of doing my Title I reading work. Things are totally nuts!

Kisses to everyone!

Charlann

#545233 - 09/28/07 11:48 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Charlann Shepherd]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Massachusetts
Oh yippee, Charlann!!

I figured you'd be busy with the move and school and all, but I hoped that maybe a quick lurk over here might draw your eye to this number!

I have always chosen to believe that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" instead of "out of sight, out of mind"...and it seems like you two lovebirds are living proof of my belief!

I have a feeling that a lot of people are going to be getting naughty tonight -- long-distance or otherwise!!

Looking back, even, wasn't there something strangely alluring about "The Batphone" (though maybe not so much when Alfred the Butler answered it....)?

Anyway, glad Tracy's still ringing your bell!

Ciao for now,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545237 - 09/29/07 12:20 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Tricia Baker Offline
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Tricia Baker  Offline
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Greenwood, LA USA
smile

Naughty girl.


"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
#545249 - 09/29/07 12:37 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Tricia Baker]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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You think THAT'S bad? :o You should hear the options I have on my voice-mail answering service.... whistle grin I even think if you press #7, someone will arrive for a "HOUSE-CALL" (or at least where it is still allowed by law!)

So in other words, hee hee hee hee.... wink

Beth :/


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545313 - 09/29/07 09:12 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Derek Hines Offline
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United States Oregon
AHHA!

So it was all a ruse and ploy to get me back! :o It worked wink
lol Susan was awake when I got home but I fogot all about this song and me errm feelings. blush about it. So I guess I'll just have to wait for the next errm inspirational moment. :o
That said I've said to much lol. Thanks again for a lovely lustfull lyric (trying to say that three times fast) owww mad I bit my tongue blush :o lol
Have a good one!
Derek


All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346
#545338 - 09/29/07 12:07 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Charlann Shepherd Offline
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Charlann Shepherd  Offline
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Burlington, KY, USA
Hey Beth!

This'll be my morning quickie - I'm hoping to finish unpacking this weekend. I'm tired of living inside this labyrinth of cardboard! I just realized I left most of my cleaning supplies in the old apartment, so I'll have to made a trip to Wally world too - the laundryroom & kitchen are desperately in need of cleaning! Hmmm - I wonder if I could just throw some Clorox wipes on the floor and shimmy across the floor instead? i might have to try that!

Charlann

#545344 - 09/29/07 12:12 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Charlann Shepherd]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
Derek Hines Offline
Derek Hines  Offline

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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
United States Oregon
Hi Charlann

Would like to see the video of that! grin


All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346
#545374 - 09/29/07 01:14 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Charlann Shepherd]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey Charlann,

Good luck with all of your cleaning....me thinks you have found another hook in "Labyrinth of cardboard"! Lots of good stuff involved with MOVING and OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW, and all that....

In the midst of all this chaos, I do hope at least your phone is hooked up!! wink

Happy Shimmying,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545375 - 09/29/07 01:18 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Derek Hines]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey Derek,

I will say it's hard for me to continue with all this raunchy banter as I look at that precious peanut in your avatar...

SOOOO, I guess I'll just shut my eyes and hope I don't make too many typos!

Either way, glad to see you're still on board... My only other caveat is to be careful when you're using the "cellphone option"...as your voices can be picked up by dispatchers, etc. who are on the same frequency. Actually, I have no idea if that's true, but it sounds like a good warning....especially if you're driving at the same time!! :o

Later,
Me


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545377 - 09/29/07 01:25 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
Derek Hines Offline
Derek Hines  Offline

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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
United States Oregon
Hey Beth

No need to tone it down she can't read yet lol. Sides she wouldn't have be here without some errm adult situations blush :o . On the scanners thing it's true I used to have one and I'd pick up phone conversations all the time although it wasn't cell phones it was those portables that everyone seems to have :O blush so there ya go even the one who aint got cell phones aint catchin no break. And when you think of it you kinda need a cordless phone. Could you imagine how tangled a corded one might get :O blush wink
Sincerely
Derek


All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346
#545380 - 09/29/07 01:33 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Derek Hines]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,963
Charlann Shepherd Offline
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Charlann Shepherd  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,963
Burlington, KY, USA
Hey Guys!

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but our phone calls our rather tame compared to what you're thinking. Our nightly chats mainly consist of talking about our days & a bit of surfing the net together. KK even talks to him sometimes on aol's voice chat. He makes her laugh.

But - I will have to admit that hearing his ring tone, or seeing his name on my caller id brings a huge grin to my face.

Charlann

#545386 - 09/29/07 01:53 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Charlann Shepherd]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
My dear Charlann,

I must say, you do NOT know what you are missing (although, perhaps this little ditty gives you SOME idea!!!)!

Actually, thinking back to YOUR last little "number" on the board, I do believe you have what it takes to put this plan into action... You simply MUST call him at work one day, when he is absolutely unable to address the matter at hand... wink wink

I do hope I'm not going to be arrested for all these "Helpful Household Hints"...you're not a minor, are you Charlann? grin

Ciao for now,
Beth



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545389 - 09/29/07 01:59 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Derek Hines]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Derek,

You should know by now that my mind is basically a fine-tuned spider web, waiting to catch and turn seemingly innocuous phrases into possibly lewd double entendres.

Ergo, I dare not touch your remark about the need for a cordless -- with a ten foot pole! grin

A consenting (albeit orthopedically-challenged!) adult cool,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545440 - 09/29/07 07:21 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,192
bailey bridges Offline
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bailey bridges  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,192
USA
BETH!!!

grin

And I can't help but comment on the razr comment. What's this with the vibrating razors they are selling now???

Vanessa

#545442 - 09/29/07 07:55 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: bailey bridges]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
VANESSA!!

:/ :/

As to the razor business, you'll need to take that up with John...HE was the naughty boy who brought that into this otherwise tame conversation ( grin )!!

Gotta run, there's the phone again (ha ha)!

Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545475 - 09/29/07 11:45 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,963
Charlann Shepherd Offline
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Charlann Shepherd  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,963
Burlington, KY, USA
HMMM - Now I need to ponder this... my razr died 3 weeks ago and T-Mobile send me a slider phone to replace it because they'd been getting a lot of complaints about problems with razrs. Over stimulation perhaps???

Charlann

#545479 - 09/30/07 12:26 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Charlann Shepherd]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Good heavens, Charlann!

I do declare, you could probably keep the telecommunications industry afloat SINGLE-HANDEDLY!! Did they send you a head-set to use with it in the car??? grin grin cool cool whistle whistle

Just remember, practise, practise, practise!!

Really hankering for some ice cream, but none on the premises...,
Beth

(P.S. As a total aside, I LOVE the word PONDER. It was actually on my daughters' spelling test list this week...I am so happy she can now use it correctly in a sentence. smile


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545692 - 10/01/07 05:03 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 204
PeterJ Offline
Serious Contributor
PeterJ  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 204
South OrangeCounty, California...
Beth, Beth, Beth.
What will we do with you? There's more adult content in that song than in a Showtime Original Series. Apparently you've found your audience's happy place grin :o

This song is a hoot, and the commentary is all well deserved praise. I've been in a funk for the last several days, and I think this is the first time I've smiled in over a week.

I love your sensibility and sense of humor. Thanks for a lyric that brightened my day.

Be well, Babe!
Love ya.


If music be the food of love, why is it so hard to keep my family fed?

Pete
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=734566
http://cwmusicpf.zoomshare.com/
#545696 - 10/01/07 06:00 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Two Singers Offline
Two Singers  Offline

Top 20 Poster

Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 9,637
Northern Alabama
Beth,

You called? cool

I live about 2 1/2 miles from Chuck Berry. I also live just down the street from Theo Peoples...sang with the Four Tops and The Temptations. He's a very nice man and plays piano and sings occassionally at some of the local hangouts. But they ain't never (I know, grammarians, I know!) sung nothing like this!

Thanks for the grin. And you defintley don't have a wrong number with this one. Have fun with it!

Al

#545715 - 10/01/07 11:07 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: PeterJ]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey there Pete!

Nice to see you again...it's been a while... smile!

Though had I known that all it would take to get you back on board was a ditty about phone $ex, I would have rung you ages ago!!

I know, it is a bit on the "blue" side, but it's not overly overt, so I figured I could get away with it. It's not exactly going to make it to the "mainstream" audience, as someone posted, but at least our little family has derived some pleasure from it. APPARENTLY, it hit the right "note"!

Finally, glad I was able to give you reason to smile. I'm in a bit of a pi$$y mood myself this AM, so it was very nice to see that both you and Al have revived this one for me.

Have a good day, and hopefully we've cancelled out each other's funks!

Cheers,
Beth, Beth, Beth



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545717 - 10/01/07 11:24 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Two Singers]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey Al,

I tried calling, but your line was busy busy busy! grin

Neat info about your neighbors...I'm thinking you should keep a copy of this with you at all times just in case you run into them...they may want to have a go at it! wink

I'm also thinking about giving Ma Bell a ring...she just MIGHT want to include this as part of the Phone Owners Manual....whistle Ha ha ha!

Ciao for now,
Beth

P.S. Don't worry none about how you be talkin'....I be college-educated, so I'se can unnerstand it E-Z!


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545749 - 10/01/07 01:52 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
(Sound of Phone at STAN's house) Ring, Ring, Ring.....

Hello? Hellooooooo??? Anybody there??? Whassup? No likey me song-y??? frown

xoxo,
Bethybooboo


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545754 - 10/01/07 02:40 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
Top 10 Poster
"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Tampa, Florida since 1973
SORRY to allus be Late For The Party, Mz Beth...

& What a FUN Party, I'll add, belatedly!!!

I'm frankly SURPRISED there ARE So Few Phone-Sex Songs these days.

This One's (Can I use the word) Decent! ;-)>

Lemmie Mess Wit It, (K-O-S) whatcha can use, Kind LadyChum!

Business takes you far away
Tho we manage to stay connected
By telephone, across the miles
Our Love-Bridge gets erected

Set my cel-phone on Vibrate
Anticipatin' your sweet call
Long-Distance foreplay playmate
Together we have a ball!

(CHORUS)
When you're on the phone
I'm never alone
You're a Gift I'll always Treasure!
No Need Delaying
This Urge for Playing
With My Instrument of Pleasure...

Makes no difference where you land
(Who Cares about Time Zones?)
You always ARE The Man/Gal with the Plan
& you Have Me..From The Dial..Tone

(BRIDGE)
I sure enjoy my Roll-Over Minutes
'Long as I have Your Voice In It!

(REPEAT CHORUS)

{Skip the Marital Stuff & GO with some Ad-Libbed "HOT Chit-Chat", I'd recommend}

Great Idea...Aim for the Teenage-&-Up Kiddies, methinks.
"KUDOS" & K-O-S the Sugs, O'Fragile One!

Big Hugs,
Ol' Stan

PS: "LONG DISTANCE KISS" is at <www.CDBaby.com/TampaStan/3>
It's the only Phone-Song I ever penned..Bluesy..& FAR from as much FUN as this one of yours sure IS!~

#545780 - 10/01/07 05:00 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: ]  
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 2,814
Herbie Gaines Offline
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Herbie Gaines  Offline
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 2,814
Chicago,IL, USA
Really cute Beth----I just saw a show with a "Sextoy" lady---and she had these underwear that the woman would wear...and the guy would have a remote control that when ever he pressed it---well, you get the picture...it was a foreplay thing...this lyric reminded me of that!!!!


Herbie
JPF Chicago Chapter Coordinator
http://www.herbietunes.com

#545847 - 10/01/07 11:44 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: ]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey Stan,

I didn't mean to call you on the carpet on this one (well.... blush), but if you just weren't so good at reviewing and commenting and chatterboxing, I wouldn't have been such a poopyhead about it! crazy You see, Ampersand Man, I Respect Your Opinion! grin PLUS, I thought you might get a chuckle or two out of it yourself...

Anyway, thanks for the sugs. I'm delighted they aren't so far off the mark from where I started and I will happily take them under advisement! (I'll have to do big fat cut and paste to get a better side-by-side look at 'em!).

I'm looking forward to taking a gander at Charlann's phone song, but need to answer Herbie's comment first....As for you, Stan, I'm so glad you were able to finally stop by for a visit. I hope you found it to be worth the "call-waiting"!!

Ciao for now,
Beth, JPF's Resident Long-Distance Ding-a-ling,





http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545849 - 10/01/07 11:48 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Herbie Gaines]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey Herbie,

Thanks for the kind words...I suspect the only way to get thru to THAT particular company would be to call collect!! wink (Or at least that's what Wyman told me when he used to do direct marketing for them... :D) !)

Forever yanking chains ( wink!),
Beth

P.S. How else do yall think I keep hurting myself (ha ha ha ha....)?


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#545950 - 10/02/07 03:05 PM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
Top 10 Poster
"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Tampa, Florida since 1973
HIDee Again, Mz Beth, & Here's yet another Bump for ya..(Hope Nothin' Breaks...heh!)

I'd LOVE to spend More Time here, critiquin'-Away..but Duty Calls, & 'til I sell da Pink Place, I am Owned by a Money-Pit. Social Security Folks today kindly-informed me the "Retirement House"..aka The New Digs..COUNTS as INcome..so I guess it'll be 3 MORE Years 'til I get Social Security Payments of ANY kind. Hopefully I'm not Bankrupt first...but we'll see..Clock Repairs have been MIGHTY Slow a-comin' and folks are even slower pickin' 'em UP when-finished.

So..I'll continue to focus on Writing The Hit Lyric...maybe then I'll be successful-enough to get some Time-Off...(We''ll See!)

Oh..I'm also segue-ing into bein' a Movie Critic...(See da Therter/Acting/Film/TV Board) in hopes of getting Allied Advertising "Credentials" so we can continue to enjoy Free Previews weekly...(WITHOUT La Femme wasting an Hour at the Tampa Trib Line for the Tix, & then we blow up to 2 hours waitin' with The Preview Crowd to get in.)

Escapism...it's What's for Daily Fare around here these days!

Happy Healin', Kind LadyChum...& Keep the Hits a-Coming (Without Breaking Anything..OK?) ;-)>
Big Hugs,
Stan

#546139 - 10/03/07 11:45 AM Re: Instrument of Pleasure -- ONE ringy-dingy, TWO ringy-dingy... [Re: ]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey Stan,

As of this morning, no more breaks -- except maybe for coffee!

Well I must say.....while you are busy hustling from clocks to Pink Houses to La Femme, today I am leading the Life of Reilly (sp?). Finally convined hubby to get me a housecleaner...between all my medical maladies, the place has been falling apart...the dust bunnies were reproducing right in front of the kids, it's been a nightmare. So yesterday THREE WOMEN came and spent FIVE HOURS on the Initial Clean, to get the place to a good baseline. AHHHH, it still smells like chlorine and bleach and Pledge, etc.

SO, I will most certainly forgive your not-necessarily-regular visits....but only if you forgive me for asking for more of your time anyway.

I have no doubt that The Hit, is just around the corner for you...the way you crank those suckers out (and oh, did I mention you have a sprinkling of talent too!!??), it's just a matter of time!!!

In the meantime, enjoy your day....and may all your phone calls be happy ones!! wink

xoxo,
Currently Healing Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."

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