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Hey guys and gals , Looks like business is a bit slow around here these days, so thought I'd take a moment away from my parenting duties (and from re-write # 826 of that %$&#%#@% "BMOC" song ! ) to post a Song Challenge for September... I had a couple of ideas in mind, but as I tried to cook a bagel in my broken toaster, couldn't get the ceiling fan to work, and had to open the stove door to get into my pot-holder drawer, it came to me in a vision... Please try to come up with a song incorporating a HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE. There are a lot to choose from, so it should be fun/interesting to see what you knuckleheads can come up with!! This time, I'll try to post my TBD interpretation sooner than later .... SOOOOO, good luck, have fun, and as always, remember that ANYBODY can pop in to comment, this isn't just my gig.... Beth :/
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Wish I didn't have a such a Writer's Block going.
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Heavens to Betsy Bethsledge, WATCH your language. Why there might be kids reading this. Where'd you LEARN that kinda' words anyway? <G> Wy (Household Appliance)
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Stand Up
I can’t believe how many odd shaped button operated plastic wand-things Are lyin' ‘round this house Makes this place look raunchy
What happened to the days when We didn’t need all this techno stuff
Every time I try to turn things on It takes ten times as long as it used to The DVD’s connected to the TV And the VCR’s connected to the
Or is it the other way around Everything’s just too darn tough
And it never fails The very one I need Is hiding in the sofa cushions So I beg and plead Will the real remote please Stand up!
(c)June 2007baileybridges
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Well, dang it Vanessa beat me. I had a bridge but didn't get it down right away anf lost it. Anybody ever have that happen? <G> If the muse brings it back, I'll stick it in Wy
Washing My Dreams
V 1 We only met once at a party And then again on the street Wasn't nothin' happened at all How could you have such a hold on me
C I'm washing my dreams In the washing machine I'm not that kinda' girl I know They've been so bad Since I met you I wake up aglow from head to toe
V 2 I go out of my way to avoid you But fate decides otherwise I'm afraid to go to sleep at night 'Cause I know you'll be on my mind
C I'm washing my dreams In the washing machine I'm not that kinda' girl I know They've been so bad Since I met you I wake up aglow from head to toe
V 3 Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should meet you for sure If I got to know you better Would my dreams get better or worse
C I'm washing my dreams In the washing machine I'm not that kinda' girl I know They've been so bad Since I met you I wake up aglow from head to toe
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Hi Ms. Beth, This is your LUCKY day. You have 777 posts! Hi Mr. Wyman, Well, I must admit that I cheated. Wrote mine back in June. And already posted it on the board. shhh don't tell anyone ok? hey, did you consider this rhyme with sure instead, "pure". Or was "worse" s'posed to rhyme with "sure"? uhh, am I allowed to critique here? Think that you have a clever idea. A real twist on that 'wash that man right out of my head' huh? Or was it hair? Vanessa
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I won't tell a soul you wrote it back in June ,Miss Nessa. I'm ,uh just like Duke in the beans commercial <G>. Yep, sure is s'posed to rhyme with sure. (OK, it's a stretch, but I've stretched farther.)As to pure, I didn't consider much of anything. It only took 10--15 min. for me to scribble it. Took at least as long to type as to write. (Slow typist) Doesn't make any difference if you're "allowed" to critique or not, the chief ain't here. Prob'ly broke something else, poor girl. Thanks on clever. The muse had it ready soon as I asked. Guess she ain't "all" bad. You need to get one of those remotez that squeaks, when you ask where it is. My remote for the one TV, I leaned on one day 'bout a year ago and broke it in half, so I taped it back together. Still works. Gotta' replace the tape occasionally, but now some of the front is breaking up, but still works. (Well a new one coste $25 <G>. (Unless you can program one, but I'm electronically challanged) Wy
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Household Appliance © 2007 by Gary E. Andrews
She says, "Pick up your glass! Put down a coaster! Don't stick a butter knife, Into my toaster! The garbage disposal's on the blink again."
She says, "Get off yer butt! Go on! Cut the grass! Don't get comf-ter-ble! Take out the trash! You have to call the re- -frigerator man!"
(Chorus) ...She uses me like an old scrub brush. ...I think a thought. She says, "Hush!" ...Sometimes I wonder, Why I married her. ...She dances me like a washing machine. ...When she gets through, my pockets are clean. ...She hangs me out to dry for all I'm worth. ...She won't tolerate my defiance. ...I'm a miracle of modern science, ...But to her I'm just another, ...Household Appliance.
Her note says, "Be back later! Dinner's in the oven!" It's her idea of a, Substitute for lovin'! I've got the house, all to myself and then...
(Chorus) ...She uses me, like an old scrub brush. ...I think a thought. She says, "Hush!" ...Sometimes I wonder, Why I married her. ...She dances me, like a washing machine. ...When she gets through, my pockets are clean. ...She hangs me out to dry, for all I'm worth. ...She won't tolerate my defiance. ...I'm a miracle of modern science, ...But to her I'm just another, ...Household Appliance.
(Bridge) I set the clock and start to slumber. She comes to bed and does that number, Makes me feel, like a sleepin' giant. I may be a miracle of modern science, But I'm glad I'll always be her, Household Appliance.
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Hey folks!! I actually came up with one on the same day as I posted the challenge. Of course I must refrain from commenting on it, but I'm wondering out loud if some of my storytelling is too vague.... Additionally, I don't have a REAL title. I just plugged in the generic "Appliance Song" so I'd recognize it in my folder. Please, any thoughts in that department would be much appreciated! Off to look back at what you've all dished up now... “Appliance Song” © Lyrics 2007 Beth Williams Verse One:When I met Zöey at the zoo There was no doubt, I was hooked In front of the exotic birds Said “unless you’re already booked Can I take you out tonight?” She teased “first want a better look?” So she let me take a gander and Man, saw my goose was cooked Verse Two:When I saw Ruby at the rink My temp started to rise The graceful stroking of her skates Showed off womanly thighs I went all out with fancy moves Hoping to dazzle and entice But all I got was her cold shoulder Like an ice-pick between the eyes Chorus A:Wasn’t cooked on the stove Or chilled by the fridge But resulting attempts at alliance Made my blood start to boil While I tried to stay cool Like a damaged-on-delivery appliance Bridge:I pondered this thought as I considered my history Where women and kitchens were always a mystery Sometimes they were hot, sometimes they were cold But to get cooking with either, I needed something to hold. Verse 3:When I saw Wendy in the window She seemed to shout “don’t GO” Could this living doll mean me I fantasized it was so The manager sized up my interest Asked “anything you wanna know?” I shook my head, he handed me a box Said, “all you gotta do is blow” Chorus B:She couldn’t learn to cook Or put things in the fridge But what she could do, O, she did so well Until late that second week When she somehow sprung a leak But the patch kit worked, now you can hardly tell. Beth
Last edited by Beth G. Williams; 09/18/07 03:03 PM.
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Hey Tricia, Maybe you could chop up some of that writers block in a nice food processor (which you could maybe translate into a WORD processor, etc.).... Or how about writing down five things in your house that are plugged in somewhere....put them in a hat, pull one out, and go to town with it... Just some food for thought. Besides, I'm not worried....you always deliver. Until later, relax, breathe and enjoy! Beth
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Duh, Wy....I learned that kinda language -- and THEN some -- from an old family friend, Mr. Maytag.... He was always partial to me, since I get so dirty....(hee hee hee, I can barely type that without cracking up....) Looks like you've posted something a bit further down, Wy....hmmmm, I'll have to check it out.... Bethsledge
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Hi Beth,
Appliances...wrote one not too long ago that fortunately includes a "dryer" in the bridge.
"Rendezvous" (Country Male Vocal) (c)2007 Lynn Orloff
Baby, I'm tired, I know you are too, This nine to five's wearin' me down, Let's steal away this weekend, Pack up, head out of town.
Lift I don't want any excuses, we'll do what we gotta' do, I'll get my mom to babysit, it's time to rendezvous
Chorus Here's a private invitation to a rendezvous, The only ones allowed to come are me and you, Our mission is to make each other's dreams come true, So darlin' come and join me for a rendezvous.
We could get ourselves a secret place, Where no one dares to find us, We'll leave the struggles of the world, A long, long way behind us.
Lift I'lll cut the lawn next weekend, the kids can feed the dog, Don't need to pack a sweater babe, I'll keep you nice and warm
Here's a private invitation to a rendezvous, The only ones allowed to come are me and you, Our mission is to make each other's dreams come true, So darlin' come and join me for a rendezvous.
Bridge: I know the sink is leakin', I know the dryer's broken, But honey we'll forget all that when we're walkin' by the ocean
Final Chorus So please accept my invitation to a rendezvous, The only ones allowed to come are me and you, I know that we can make each other's dreams come true, So darlin' won't you join me for a rendezvous.
Optional Tag C'mon darlin', times a wastin'...
Last edited by Lynn Orloff; 09/16/07 12:09 PM.
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Hi Vanessa, Too funny and too true! I think it's hysterical how they call it a "universal remote", since the problem of losing the darn thing seems to BE universal. We must have five different contraptions for the TV, VCR, DVD, etc....and I don't think they all work (though testing that theory would require locating them, so let's just assume I speak the truth.... ) Somewhat of a short piece, it strikes me as a bit more prose than lyric (something you might find in the pages of Readers' Digest -- which is a compliment, BTW). Regardless, I always love how you take risks with your rhymes and meter. To so BRAZENLY leave us hanging at the end of your VCR line, well, just wonderful. My only little nit is in your first verse, second line, where I trip a little over the "plastic wand-things". I know you need it to work with "raunchy".....might you consider? I can’t believe how many odd shaped button-operated "off" and "on" things Are lyin' ‘round this house Makes this place look raunchy My only hesitancy there might be the loss of the word "wand", which implies a certain magical element to these gadgets... Otherwise, nice job! Thanks for playing, as usual...it's so nice to know that certain people cannot resist the dangled carrot... Ciao for now, Beth
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Howdy Wy, First off, LOVE the hook. It reminds me of that old commercial jingle, "I'm gonna WASH that MAN right OUTta my HAIR"! Great original premise....though I'm wondering if Mr. Maytag had anything to do with this ..... Sorry about your bridge...I'm sure it'll either come back to you or someone will help you out (maybe me later....if I can). For what it's worth, I think your third chorus could work well as the bridge, with a bit of tweaking, since it does wrap up the storyline: Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should send you a rendezvous letterIf I really got to know you Would my dreams get worse or much betterNow for my usual nitpicking: Verse One: Would you mind terribly scratching the "AND" from the beginning of line two? (read: "How many freakin' times do I have to reMIND you about this !?) So I'm going to tweak a tad, okay? WE FIRST MET BY CHANCE AT A PARTY THEN ONCE AGAIN OUT ON THE STREET SINCE NOTHIN' HAPPENED BETWEEN US HOW'D YOU GET SUCH A HOLD ON ME? I guess that was a fairly comprehensive "tweak", huh?) Then the only other little nit is the word "UP" in the last line of the chorus...I don't think you need the extra syllable to maintain your meaning. Maybe you could also mix it up a little in the second half? I'm washing my dreams In the washing machine I'm not that kinda' girl I know BUT SINCE I MET YOU I NEED TO BE SCRUBBED CLEAN I wake up aglow from head to toe Okay, I've been pretty liberal with the sledge tonight, Wy, since I know you can take it (LOL). Hope all suggestions taken in the right way -- as just that, SUGGESTIONS, keep or sweep, baby! Good luck finding a missing section of your lyric...if you think it's necessary. I'm not sure that it does.... Ciao for now, Beth
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Hey again Vanessa, I've just been reading the posts one by one, and I just about fell outta my chair when I saw you also mention the "Wash that man right outta my hair line"! Just told him the same thing! I also did a bit of a tweak on that verse (maybe bridge?) you were wondering about....think it might address your question... AND YES, EVERYONE IS ALLOWED AND ENCOURAGED TO COMMENT! I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEMS BEING THE LORD AND MASTER OF THIS THREAD, BUT IT'S VERY LONELY AT THE TOP (ha ha ha!). Seriously, chime in whenever you want. As for your sneaky use of an already-written piece, I think that's great. It's sort of like we're recycling, doing our part to keep the planet green and all that... So no wrist slapping from me.... Thanks again for sharing, Beth
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Mr. Lloyd, While the chief might have been MIA, it is still strictly prohibited at all times to mention how quickly you were able to come up with this clever number (or any other piece, for that matter, which takes less than a good....well,...shorter amount of time than mine! ) Of course, I jest, as I'm just jealous of your jaunty muse(there's some nice alliteration for ya!). BTW, for the record, I did indeed sustain another injury today -- well, actually exacerbated in existing injury. I'm supposed to wear my cast and these special thingies in my shoes, but I was just waking up and hobbling to the boy's room for his soccer gear for like TWO SECONDS, barefoot. Well in my wobbly NOT aglow from head to toe state, I caught my toe on the frayed corner of his area rug, in the gap betwen the edging and the fabric. Landed hard on same right foot, which does NOT seem to want to ever heal...If it keeps this up, I'm really going to have to put my foot down (LOL!!) It's 12:20 AM, but I'm wide awake (coffee at 3:oo PM!! DUMB), so I'm still plugging away.... Later, Beth
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Hey Gary, A terrific and fun interpretation...and extra points for using the exact song challenge phrase "Household Appliance". Lot of great images...I was feeling so bad for the guy (until the bridge, which I'll touch on in a sec.) The urgency of the demands placed on him start with a vengeance right from the word go, so good job on creating that atmosphere. My only nit before that is just the use of the phrase "she dances me" in the 4th line of your chorus. Though the useage might be lost to a listener, I wonder if you might replace it with "she wrings me out"...I don't think "dancing" lends itself as well to having your pockets emptied.... While I love the "turnabout is fair play" angle in your bridge, I think it could be a bit stronger. Some of the rhymes feel a bit forced too. Would you at all consider something like this?: (Bridge) My work is done, so I hit the hay She tiptoes in, for the last job of the day She knows what to press, to turn me on No batteries needed, I work until dawn. I may be a miracle of modern science, But I'll gladly stay on As her Household Appliance. Per usual, Keep or Sweep. Finally, you've inspired me to try to be nicer to my husband tomorrow...though I do so at the risk of further bodily harm (meaning, if little ole me has to vacuum, there's no telling what will get sucked up!) Anyway, thanks for playing, that was a fun one.... Beth
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Title: She Took The Fridge Lyrics by Nathan A. Baker (c)2007 All Rights Reserved
Verse 1 A six-pack, a bag of ice Some fresh crumpets would be nice We used to eat them on long weekends Down at the cape watching sailboats descend Out into the deep blue, such sweet memories Leading back to this broken heart Lord, I'm torn apart I need a new start
Chorus She took the fridge left me the toaster She left with a chill, I loved her the most I guess my fishing cooler will have to do I'll need a few beers after what I've been through
Verse 2 Here's to the games all lovers seem to play Once the glitter has faded and the spark goes away Insinuations and innuendoes, outright lies, Paranoia will divide love like a pie Don't hate the little things; don't spoil love's vine Don't magnify the weed Celebrate the dandelion
Chorus She took the fridge left me the toaster She left with a chill, I loved her the most I guess my fishing cooler will have to do I'll need a few beers after what I've been through
Verse 3 Cheating hearts are all the same Just change the player's face and name Poison comes wrapped in some neat little packages And sometimes tastes really good going down She left me with a permanent frown I hope she never comes back again Because I know I'd let her right back in
Chorus She took the fridge left me the toaster She left with a chill, I loved her the most I guess my fishing cooler will have to do I'll need a few beers after what I've been through Tag She took the fridge left me the toaster She left with a chill, I loved her the most
(c)2007
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Hey Lynn, So many funny coincidences with this challenge...I suggested using a "rendezvous letter" in Wy's piece!! Which leads me to that bugger of a nit in the title. As noted, it's spelled RENDEZVOUS (to which you might say, sacre bleu!!) Anyway, I thought this piece was quite romantic, in a teasing/pleading sort of way. It's so nice to hear a fella offering to take his wife out of the kitchen (though I bet he gets her barefoot and pregnant again!! :o ) As an aside, I find it intriguing that most of the songs so far are written from the opposite sex POV. I wonder if it's due to the historical sense of "this woman's work"..... My only other nit is I believe just a typo...in the verse after your chorus, I think the first word in line two should be WHERE instead of who? We could get ourselves a secret place, WHERE no one dares to find us, We'll leave the struggles of the world, A long, long way behind us. I especially enjoyed both your Lifts and your Bridge... but I wasn't so sure about the Tag. Although, to be honest, I'm not really sure how to use a tag, so my alternative might make no sense at all. But for fun, if you are going to use a tag, how about something like, "So come on then, time's a-wastin" Keep or sweet, kind lady! I look forward to seeing how everyone is doing on this tomorrow. Or should I say later today...oopsie, it's a little after 1 AM! Better sign off for now... Thanks for sharing Lynn, and night all! Beth
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Hey Nathan, Just saw this baby, but I have to refrain from commenting at the moment as I'm too pooped to pop. Let me get some shut-eye, and take a fresh look at this tomorrow. In the meantime, thanks for staying up so late to play... although is Chatanooga Central Time? (My geography is at best "limited") Til later, Beth
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I've enjoyed reading this thread, hope you like this. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Coffee Pot Love Song © words and music by C. Stewart ( Sept. 16, 2006 )
Flick the button with my finger Start the morning brew Our coffee pot is always hot And baby so are you
I like to drink my coffee black Hit me with some steam You prefer a shot of sugar And a drop of cream
CHORUS.... What if we woke up to find Our coffee pot was dead We'd be at a loss for words Nothing could be said
We'd have to make a trip to town Do it right away The price is not the issue here We're prepared to pay
But we don't need one with a clock We're already up We just need some coffee quick In our favorite cup
CHORUS.... Because we woke up to find Our coffee pot was dead We were at a loss for words Nothing could be said
BRIDGE.... It's always sad to lose a real good friend But we got a new one and it's not the end
Flick the button with my finger Start the morning brew Our coffee pot is always hot And baby so are you
Our coffee pot is always hot And baby so are you
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G'mornin there Beth,
Thanks for correcting my spelling of Rendezvous, and the other area where I had the wrong word as details are important. You have a keen eye and are to be commended! As I said this lyric was not written on the spot since I had it in storage, so I didn't get that exhilarating rush (I so enjoy) from the pressure of the challenge. But again the hour was late so I went to my archives. Have a great day and thanks again.
Best, Lynn P.S. I borrowed some of your tag idea, thank you!!
Last edited by Lynn Orloff; 09/16/07 12:53 PM.
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Good morning Bethsledge. But I "like" and at the beginning of line 2 <G> (My Grammar didn't teach me much) AND, <G>,quit that hobblin' around barefoot, You know better than that. Put on the shoes with the little thingies in them . How you ever gonna' get well if you keep re-injuring yourself? Now that you're properly chastised on that, lessee what else you had to say-----------Oh yeah , the 3rd V as a bridge. Actually, I considered that. If the muse doesn't bring my two line bridge back, I may do that. Do away with "up" in the last line of the C. Well, it would flow better without it. I may do that. HEAL! Wy
Last edited by Wyman Lloyd; 09/16/07 01:51 PM.
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Good morning, Nathan,
I have taken my requisite beauty sleep and am now half way thru a cup of Joe, so I feel better able to take on your song. Thank you for your patience....
So let's see....
First off, a smart hook (though at first I was thinking, what is she doing with former NFL star William "The Refrigerator" Perry?)...Seriously, though, I like it, as it puts an ironic spin on the "leftovers" from a relationship.
As for the lyrics themselves, I think Verses 2 and 3 are exceptional. I especially liked the lines
Paranoia will divide love like a pie
and
Poison comes wrapped in some neat little packages And sometimes tastes really good going down
Seeing the caliber of these two verses, I do think you could make the first verse a bit stronger...especially since you're setting the tone for the whole piece there. Let me try mixing it up a bit?
A six-pack tucked in a bucket of ice With a load of fresh crawfish sure was nice (crumpets too high-brow here) It was all we needed those weekends long ago Lazing at the cape, watching sailboats go Out on blue horizons, soon too you'd depart With another man, stepping on my heart Lord, she tore my life apart How to make a brand new start?
Hmmmmm, it appears I "tweaked" this a tad more than I had intended, I hope you remember this is all keep or sweep. I just think you needed to set up her deceit in your opening verse. I also like how it creates a juxtaposition of the romantic memories, with the banal remnants of the relationship you present in the chorus.
My only nit in the chorus would be in the first line. Just for the sake of the rhyme (you've already met the "appliance" requirement with "fridge"), how about:
She took the fridge, and soon I was toast But I still feel the chill, I loved her the most
That does change the meaning a bit, and I don't know how comfortable you would be with that....
ANYWAY, hope you don't mind me playing around with this so much....it's such a great story, I couldn't help but sink my teeth into it. Terrific job!!
Remember, take it or leave, no worries....
Beth
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Well,Lynn---Beth, The only way I can remember how to spell rendezvous is to pronounce it to myself just the way it sounds. I like the word though. It even brought on a lttle ditty. Do y'all wanta' see it? OK, here it is---only 6 lines, but that's probably 'nuff <G> I've got a rendezvous on Mars With a girl from the stars She makes celestial music flow Stardust is all she wears She's got moonbeams in her hair Where she comes from I don't know Wy
Last edited by Wyman Lloyd; 09/16/07 02:59 PM.
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Hey Calvin, Leave it to you to $exualize a coffee pot. :o Wonderful idea, though, especially as I'm currently nursing my second cup. The song itself is your usual playground of fun. My only issue would be in the second couplet of your chorus, where I wonder if you were perhaps sleepin' on the job? How about something a bit more vivid? What if we woke up to find Our coffee pot was dead Without our jolt of java Could we face the day ahead? OR Could we even make our bed?Of course, you know me and my obsession with meter...mind if I add a word or two here and there? We'd have to DRAG OURSELVES TO town GET DOWN THERE RIGHT AWAY The price is not the issue here We're QUITE prepared to pay NO we don't need one with a clock YOU SEE, we're already up ALL WE'RE LOOKING FOR IS SOME quick COFFEE in our favorite cup I know you're a fan of shorter phrasing, but I just added a syllable here and there for a little variety -- as you know, do with it what you will.... Otherwise, thought this was a fun one...would love to have included somewhere (maybe in the R-rated sequel ) something about the gal -- like the coffee -- helping to "perk him up" in the morning.... :o Thanks for playing...you have yet to disappoint!! Ciao for now, Beth
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HiDee Mz B!
Ya inspired me to Pen "You (& Cappucino)" this AM. Posted it separately so I'll be able to FIND It down-the-pike..via a Title Search. Hope ya likes it...(Sorry it's only got ONE Appliance in it...& Mostly in Da Bridge..but it's an Early AM "Love Song"..& not TOO Mechanical..alas!)
Maybe I'll do one on A Massager..heh..later-on... ;-)> Thanks for The Inspiration on the Cappucino-Maker today, Big Appreciative Hugs, Stan
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Good afternoon Lynn! Glad I was able to help out. After all, remember, going through these songs with a "WIDE" tooth comb is a valuable exercise for me too. As far as I'm concerned, it's a win-win situation. Also, don't apologize for "recycling" a song for the challenge. I think it's helpful to be able to shed some new light on an old piece now and then. The distance of time seems to have offered you a fresh perspective on it. Happy, too, you were able to incorporate part of my tag -- though for the life of me, I'm still not sure how they're supposed to play in a song.... Anyhoo, ciao for now, and see you around the boards! Beth
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Okay Wy, I'm filled to the brim with caffeine, but I simply can't figure out what you're referencing with: "But I "like" and at the beginning of line 2" Right or wrong, inquiring minds want to know! Glad you find my sugs worthy of consideration...I hope you can find your bridge....did you look under the fridge? Regarding my healing process, I have come to the conclusion that it is going to be a very long on-going process. My right calf feels like a knife is stabbing in it, and I just can't put any weight on the foot. Thank goodness I can sit here at the computer and rest it (HA, I probably have that leg thrombosis thing they warn you about when sitting too long on an airplane.....) While tempted of course to log another post and respond separately to your sweet rendezvous ditty, I feel that would be selfish...so I'll just jump ahead and comment right here. Let me just say it's inspiring how you can squeeze so much romance into such a short verse. Thanks for sharing again! xoxo, Hop-along Sledge
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Hey Stan,
Thanks in advance for playing....I'm gonna pop over there right now to check it out...will be curious if there's any resemblance to Cal's song....
See ya there, Beth
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You shoulda' had another cup Bethsledge <G>---OK--------------- Bethsledge---"Would you mind terribly scratching the "AND" from the beginning of line two?" Lloyd---"But I "like" and at the beginning of line 2" But I "like" "AND" at the beginning of line 2 OK---I shoulda' made AND more prominent. I'm guilty (Never argue with a woman. There ain't no winnin'. Well if they're too far away and not, uh, a close relationship, then I guess you're safe <G> Wy
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Thank you kindly, Wy, for setting me straight. I was doing a lot of HEAD-SCRATCHING on that one... Later, Bro... Sister Sledge
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Hi Beth I wrote this song as sort of a joke some time ago....it needs lots of work musically and lyrically, so it's on the shelf, but since it kind of fits your challange I thought I'd add it to the thread....it's was actually fun to perform it when I wrote it. Now it'll take me a while to catch up with the rest of this thread, but I'm sure I'll enjoy the read. jm Broken Things (c) joice marie 2007 Intro slow.... I have a shed of broken things Last year's carburator A phone that doesn't ring My old printer, a broken mirror Some old receiver that should sound clearer ch I keep those things 'cause they might be useful I just might find a need for these broken things Broken things, broken things v1 They're pieces from the past You can't remember How they got broken or why you became attached The thing no longer works You can't live with it But you can't part so, you store it to 'fix' I don't know why I keep all these things that no longer work Maybe I'm a junkman at heart Once in a while I just go in and poke around Try to find something That can go another round br In this fast paced disposable world I'm just an old fashioned kind of girl If I think I can fix it, I will try...... ch I keep those things 'cause they might be useful I just might find a need for these broken things Broken things, broken things ch repeat
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Hey JM, Glad to see you, I always look forward to your entries! Right in the middle of some other stuff, though, so promise to give it a good once-over later this evening... Until then, hope you have fun reading through the thread so far... Beth
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Hey JM, As promised, I'm BAAAACK! So let's see...HMMM, it appears that everything old is NEW again for this challenge ! -- which I think is groovy. I simply appreciate (as I'm sure everyone else does) that yall feel interested enough in participating to pull something out of a drawer if you weren't appropriately moved or didn't have the time to whip up something new. So for that, thanks! Now as to your song.... As a Certified Ratpack, I totally get the hook, but for some reason, I feel an emotional disconnect. Perhaps this is the work-in-progress issue you explained at the outset. Even though you profess you can't remember why you were ever attached to these broken things to begin with, I don't necessarily believe that...you are an emotional treasure chest, my dear, and I bet you could name every bit of history about every single item! 'Course, that's putting you squarely in the singer's shoes...where you may not want to be... So if and/or when you decide to play with this any more, I'd love to hear some more personal connectedness Even something as simple as in verse one: I have a shed full of broken things Last year's carburator A PRINCESS phone that won't ring MY FIRST ROOMMATE'S printer, a broken mirror Some old receiver that should sound clearer While obviously my suggestions are in no way meant to reflect your writing skills, I hope you see where I'm going with it. I won't go any further with specific lyrics, but I do believe there are a lot of interesting and different angles you could pursue with this... a) maybe all stirred up by an old relative that has basically been put someplace on a shelf? b) maybe the singer is worried that if there's something wrong with her, no one will make the effort to stick around to helpf figure out the problem and try to help her solve it. c) Broken things, broken wings -- don't know what to do with it, just remembered it rhymed! d) You might even reference loosely my opening remarks, about "everything old being new again." While not necessarily broken items, my mom keeps clothers forever, considering that at some point they'll be fashionable again...maybe you could play with that. e) OR LASTLY, and perhaps very likely, the disassociation from the items might be your ultimate point. As in, it would be bad enough to hang onto things with fond memories attached to them, but when you can't even remember how they came into your life, you might start to question why that is...THEN, maybe you could stumble upon something you had forgotten about long ago (a broken doll, as trite as that is, for example), which would open up your heart once again...(do you hear violins in the background, or is that just at my end?? ) Regardless of my all-over-the-place suggestions (I just had some coffee/chocolate ice cream, so I'm good for a while!) I would love to see what you'd actually do with it (if anything); as you hinted in the disposeable world line, this could be looked at on a number of levels. Bottom line, very thought provoking, though a little sad too. Hate to see you give up on it prematurely.... Cheers, Beth
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Dang. Even when I limit my expossure, I can't keep up. Went ot for an evening of Karaoke last night, and when I got up this morning, the power to my neighborhood had gone down. So I haven't even seen this threaed until 1:25 Sunday night/Monday morning.
I promise to look over the recent posts to this challenge and upload my own. After being without power for 16 hours, I thought it was kind of funny that I was probably the nosiest neighbor with my acousitic guitar and my voice. Felt a little sorry for the folks who had nothing to keep themselves entertained (lot's of napping at my house today). Give me 15 hours and I'll have had a chance to look at the tread and work on my submittal to this contest.
By the way...Kudos to those who have already posted. You'll get yours soon. :-)
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The Dryer © words and music by C. Stewart ( Sept 17, 2007 )
When I heard the clank and klunk I figured it was broke Then I cussed that piece of junk As I watched that sucker smoke
I turned the heat up higher Our clothes were wringing wet Then the dryer caught on fire And I haven't fixed it yet
CHORUS... Now I hang our little undies on the line The neighbors get to see which ones are mine
Yours are so lacy and petite Mine are holy like the pope Yours remind me of somthing sweet Hangin' from that tight little rope
CHORUS... Now I hang our little undies on the line The neighbors get to see which ones are mine
BRIDGE.... I'm letting mister sun do his work for me I save a little money, cause it's naturally free
MIne are kinda holy like the pope Mine are kinda holy like the pope Mine are kinda holy like the pope Yours remind me of somthing sweet
CHORUS... Now I hang our little undies on the line The neighbors get to see which ones are mine Now I hang our little undies on the line The neighbors get to see which ones are mine
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Hi Beth-a-boo Thanks so much for your comments. I'm gonna print them out to put with the song....and who knows, maybe it will take a priority on the fix it shelf ! It was written when I first started writing songs and playing guitar. Not so long ago, but what I now feel I know about writing songs has come so far, nothing from early on seems worthy of fixing anymore. We'll see....I'm gonna check to see if I actually recorded it. My thinking at the time was that I needed a song that would make the audience laugh, because I have a few moody/sad tunes. So if you bring them down, you then have to be able to lift them back up, or they'll leave. Ha ! At the time I had rented a dumpster to clean out my sheds...and frankly there was a lot of stuff that did not makes any sense as to why it was kept. Anyway, that's how it came about and you have some very good points so thanks lots....Now, I've read the thread and enjoyed...I'll see if I have any sugs for the other songs to add. Take care missy! jm
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Wow, Calvin, just couldn't get enough of this one, huh? Well, your persistence has paid off. This is a keeper, BRIEF though it is . Believe it or not, with the exception of one little typo (missing "e" in "somthing"), there is not much more for me to say, except that it's clever and I love the idea of juxtaposing her lacey panties with your Pope-like ones -- hee hee! Just recently I saw a commercial featuring a clothesline (for some laundry detergent I think)...those ones that used to be strung between two buildings, on a pulley system. You just don't see those around much anymore. We have a neighbor who uses one (her's is connected from the back porch to a tree), and even though it's in her back yard and virtually hidden, it is still much frowned upon by some of the snootier inhabitants of the surrounding homes. Pretty dumb, huh? We grew up with one of those poles with a sort of square spider-web system of lines. While you can't beat the snuggle-factor of a hot towel coming out of the dryer, there's still something to be said for shaking a towel out, getting the ladybugs and twigs off, and breathing in the outdoors. Up at my parents' beachhouse in Maine, it's even better....you smell the ocean. Anyway, enough nostalgia for one post. Thanks Cal, for pulling out the stops and remaining true to your meter and rhymes!! Have a good one, Beth P.S. With the not-infrequent reference to the holes in your "drawers", if you need to replace them any time soon, I'm sure we can get a bake sale going for you...
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Good morning, JM, Glad I was able to help in some fashion or another...I really was drawn to this story, so I would love to hear it "fixed"! I completely understand the quandary, though, about the "worthiness factor" of revisiting earlier works. Even since just coming on board here back in April, I've learned so much, and the prospect of trying to fine-tune some of my favorites from that time seems like a waste of energy...I'd probably end up just starting from scratch. But then again, a good hook is a good hook is a good hook. So at least we have a starting point, right? I'm glad you had a chance to read through the thread...it's been a fun one this time...I'm still laughing about how many people are talking about their coffee machines... I just had my token mug...then I felt dehydrated, so I had a Gatorade...now I'm going back for another cup of Joe. No wonder I keep falling down and hurting myself!! So look forward to hearing more from you, as always! The Beth-a-lyzer
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Peter, Peter, Peter, Do you expect us to BELIEVE that old excuse about "the dog bit thru the power lines and electrocuted my homework?" What? You say no animals were used or harmed in anyway during the making of this post? Okaaaay, I guess... But seriously, what a drag about losing power. If there is ever a major disaster which puts us squarely in the middle of one of those "The Day After" scenarios, count me OUT and get me one those pills you bite on to end it all. I can barely keep going with the full range of amenities at my disposal now. Can you imagine me hobbling through the wastelands, trying to get someone to re-fill my prescriptions??? While as much as you might have been thinking "does she EVER stop talking?", I in fact bought you some extra time, Mister. I have been blessed with the ability to communicate while allowing the listeners to completely tune me out and go about their business while STILL maintaining an illusion of attentiveness. I know, pretty wild, huh? It actually took me a long time to realize I had this power... So get to it, buddy. I suspect with the power out, you have an abundance of choices to think about for this particular challenge. Ciao for now, me
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Well, I didn't think I had a song using a household appliance but after checking here it is. WRINGER is the word. Not used much anymore.
I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE © 1996 Ray E. Strode BMI
YOU TOOK CAREFUL AIM, RIGHT AT MY HEART, IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG, TILL YOU RIPPED IT APART. I REALLY LEARNED QUICK, WHAT YOU INTENDED TO DO, WHAT IN THE WORLD, DID I DO TO YOU, NOTHING I KNOW OF, BUT YOUR MESSAGE IS CLEAR, SO IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE.
THANKS FOR THE LESSON IN LEARNING THE BLUES, AND ALL OF THOSE THINGS, THAT I CANNOT USE, NOW I KNOW HOW, TO RIP UP MY HEART, AND I THINK I KNOW HOW, TO MAKE A BAD START, JUST FORGET ALL THE THNGS, THAT I HOLD SO DEAR, AND IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE.
I'VE BEEN PUT THRU THE WRINGER, AND HUNG OUT TO DRY, YOU REALLY KNOW HOW, TO MAKE A MAN CRY, I REALLY WAS THERE, WITH ALL OF MY HEART, AND WHO WAS TO THINK, THAT WE'ED EVER PART, BUT I SEE IT NOW, AND THE MESSAGE IS CLEAR, SO IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE.
AND IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE.
OK. KNUCKLEDHEADS ?? The next time I'm in New England Beth, You are Toast!! Ha,ha.
Ray E. Strode
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HiDee Again, Mz B!
OK..here's a Fresh Off The Pen "Appliance Song" for ya...(My Cappuccino Song apparently Underwhelmed, tho I think it'll sing like a Canary..) This'n's a Rocker..& You, of course, get Full Credit for The Openin' Line..heh-heh! ;-)>
"BUZZ-SAW BABY" (C) 2007 by Stan Good, BMI
There are Women who are Like APPLIANCES: Some Are "Washer-Dryers" (Some are Like "A Fridge"..) But MY Little Woman's Built Kinda-Unique: She Got a MEAN Cutting Edge (& She's REALLY "Built-For-Speed!")
(CHORUS) SHE'S MY BUZZ-SAW BABY (Keeps The SAWDUST-FLYIN' Lady) Builds UP (& Tears Things DOWN) Like CRAZY SHE'S MY BUZZ-SAW BABY!
Yeah, This Little Woman musta Come From DEE-WALT Builds Your EGO Up..QUICK (RIPS Ya DOWN, IF At-FAULT!) See her On The Dance Floor, CUTS a BIG SWATH But You'll Be MISSIN' BOTH EARS Should You Feel Her WRATH!
(CHORUS) She's MY BUZZ-SAW BABY Like A BAT from HADES! (One Mean-MOTORIN' Lady) SHE'S MY BUZZ-SAW BABY!
(BRIDGE) You'll Never Stop Her from CIRCULATIN' (She Gets AROUND-&-AROUND) So Mind Your Fingers..You'd Best Be WAITIN' 'Til This BUZZ-SAW BABY Slows Down~
She's Light-Weight, (With a Rugged Frame) You Turn Her ON & Things-Gonna-CHANGE She's GOOD at Makin' The Appropriate CUTS But TRY Pullin'-Her-Plug & She'll Tell-You-WHAT
(CHORUS) She's MY BUZZ-SAW BABY RIPS Straight Lines Like CRAZY Dust Settles (She's) Fresh-as-a-Daisy SHE'S MY BUZZ-SAW BABY!
(CHORUS 2) She's MY BUZZ-SAW BABY (Makes Other Gals Look-LAZY) She Spins-Around Like Crazy {SPOKEN ADD:} She's My KERF-CUTTIN', DADO-ROUTIN', Make-Ya-Into-KINDLING {SUNG} BUZZ-SAW BABY!!!
(C) 2007 by Stan Good, BMI All Rights Reserved.
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I'm cheating and pulling out an oldie written in 2001
they’re still in love © 2001 John Voorpostel
its late, the whirlpool’s running that has always been a sign that mom and dad are both in bed and they’re starting to unwind I hear that pulsing pattern it has been this way for years they may not be aware of it but I have quite keen ears
their life is still romantic dad says I love you with his eyes and when he brings mom flowers you can bet she still derives all the pleasure she can take in as she puts on her cologne you can bet your bottom dollar that night she doesn’t sleep alone
you can see it, they’re still in love quite exciting , they’re still in love
the cycle lasts about an hour then the house is very still I can tell by gentle breathing that they've both been fulfilled next morning early daybreak mom’s feet barely touch the floor and dad does a little jig as he dances out the door
you can see it, they’re still in love quite exciting , they’re still in love
I hope that when I get there when my love and I mature we’ll still be living with a loving that is certain, self assured one thing that I’m sure of its one of my fondest wishes that our throbbing kitchen aid will be for doing more than dishes
-30
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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haven't read any others, so if there's a washing machine piece,,,
Bleached Madness
I read the instructions and I hafta come clean I'll never understand my washing machine
something about heavy something about light something about wool something about colored, something about white nothing about my plight
the heck with it all, I'll just toss it all in so what if my blues are pin striped pokka dotted briefs and streaked linen catch word for my wife is YIKES!
fabric softener how clever pocket change notwithstanding clang, clang, clang, torture to think, I'm so undemanding
I do know one thing the number 14 is key big circle in the manual look at me smile...say cheese
something about heavy something about light something about wool something about colored, something about white nothing about my plight
I've prayed for an end to this ungodly mess well they say cleanliness is next to Godliness
© 2007 by rittman
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Hey all, Just going to interrupt for a second to say, BOO HISS! I think I mentioned to some of you that I might have reinjured the right foot (broke it originally, well for the second time really, back in April, I broke the left arm in March, the left ankle a few weeks ago, and a rib last week)...ANYHOO just got back from doc and it appears I did in fact re-break it. Back in a cast for at least three weeks, then we'll revisit it. So I just came on to whine a bit, I'm still sort of in a state of shock about it...and I may or may not be back on tonight to comment on the very generous offerings of the past several posters...OR, I may be up all night drinking and come up with some very clever critiques....only the night, my pain threshhold, and my hairdresser (LOL) know for sure. Maybe in the meantime, one of you will take pity on this poor soul, and write a really nice critique of MY entry into the challenge...I can't even remember what it's called...OH YEAH, b/c that was part of my problem, I needed help with that... Anyone feeling up to it, knock yourselves out...I dont' have enough energy much to do that right now.... I do however, cling to my belief that everything happens for a reason...and I just know that the word PLATINUM is on the horizon for my perhaps-one-day-penned-smash hit "WELCOME TO MY PITY PARTY". Gotta also CLING to the tattered (sp?) remnants of my sense of humor.... Ciao for now, Cold Busted, Beth
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ouch Beth
off to work but I just thought I'd leave you this tid bit of advice, whatever you do, don't let Steve talk you into going back to Iraq with him...
rittman
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Hi Broken Beth, my critique is short & sweet. I thought it was fun & I liked this line extremely well. Like an ice-pick between the eyes. I'm really sorry to hear of all your broken body parts.. Get well soon. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Hi Beth-a-Boo-boo So sorry to hear the news...we'll I hope this is the last of the bad breaks you get ! You're just going to have to follow the docs advice now, that's all there is to it.... On the lyric, well I commend you for using zoey/zoo in it that's a feat in itself. I wanted to play with your second verse a bit...for flow When I saw Ruby at the rink My temp STARTED RISING The graceful stroking of her skates Showed off WOMANLY thighs I went all out with fancy moves then here maybe.... Wasn’t cooked on the stove Or chilled by the fridge But RESULTING attempts at alliance Made my blood start to boil While I tried to stay cool Like a damaged-on-delivery appliance Anyway, they're just sugs and I enjoyed the kinky twist to the tale. jm
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Well thought I might try my hand at this any ideas for a title?
1st Verse Well the fridge won’t freeze And the stove won’t cook The repairman’s coming by To take another look
2nd Verse It’s frosty in December Hotter than heck in July I can’t get it adjusted Here’s the reason why
Chorus Nothing works in this house Everything I own Is broken down It’ll cost too much To fix it Gotta get out of town Before it all Crumbles to the ground
3rd Verse Well my car won’t start An my truck is dead One needs a battery The other needs a head
4th Verse With all the money I been Putting out for repairs I could own the Mona Lisa Or at least a new Frigidaire
Chorus Nothing works in this house Everything I own Is broken down Good intentions Won’t fix it Gotta get out of town Before it all Crumbles to the ground
Bridge Well the furnace just blew up took half the house with it My insurance policy lapsed now I wish I’d been in it
Chorus Nothing works in this house Everything I own Is broken down Gonna cancel The repairman Gotta get out of town Before it all Crumbles to the ground
Tag Too late the house just fell… down
Copyright September 18, 2007 Derek Hines All Rights Reserved
Last edited by Derek Hines; 09/18/07 07:56 AM.
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