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#541442 - 09/15/07 08:35 PM NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER....  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey guys and gals whistle,

Looks like business is a bit slow around here these days, so thought I'd take a moment away from my parenting duties (and from re-write # 826 of that %$&#%#@% "BMOC" song wink! ) to post a Song Challenge for September...

I had a couple of ideas in mind, but as I tried to cook a bagel in my broken toaster, couldn't get the ceiling fan to work, and had to open the stove door to get into my pot-holder drawer, it came to me in a vision...

Please try to come up with a song incorporating a HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE. There are a lot to choose from, so it should be fun/interesting to see what you knuckleheads can come up with!! grin

This time, I'll try to post my TBD interpretation sooner than later blush....

SOOOOO, good luck, have fun, and as always, remember that ANYBODY can pop in to comment, this isn't just my gig.... grin

Beth :/


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541454 - 09/15/07 09:36 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8,318
Tricia Baker Offline
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Tricia Baker  Offline
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Posts: 8,318
Greenwood, LA USA
grin

Wish I didn't have a such a Writer's Block going.


"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
#541456 - 09/15/07 09:40 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Wyman Lloyd Offline
Wyman Lloyd  Offline

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Posts: 6,578
Missouri
Heavens to Betsy Bethsledge, WATCH your language. Why there might be kids reading this. Where'd you LEARN that kinda' words anyway?
<G>
Wy
(Household Appliance)

#541458 - 09/15/07 09:51 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,192
bailey bridges Offline
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bailey bridges  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,192
USA
Stand Up

I can’t believe how many odd shaped
button operated plastic wand-things
Are lyin' ‘round this house
Makes this place look raunchy

What happened to the days when
We didn’t need all this techno stuff

Every time I try to turn things on
It takes ten times as long as it used to
The DVD’s connected to the TV
And the VCR’s connected to the

Or is it the other way around
Everything’s just too darn tough

And it never fails
The very one I need
Is hiding in the sofa cushions
So I beg and plead
Will the real remote please
Stand up!

(c)June 2007baileybridges

#541468 - 09/15/07 10:17 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: bailey bridges]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Wyman Lloyd Offline
Wyman Lloyd  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Missouri
Well, dang it Vanessa beat me.
I had a bridge but didn't get it down right away anf lost it.
Anybody ever have that happen? <G>
If the muse brings it back, I'll stick it in
Wy

Washing My Dreams

V 1
We only met once at a party
And then again on the street
Wasn't nothin' happened at all
How could you have such a hold on me

C
I'm washing my dreams
In the washing machine
I'm not that kinda' girl I know
They've been so bad
Since I met you
I wake up aglow from head to toe

V 2
I go out of my way to avoid you
But fate decides otherwise
I'm afraid to go to sleep at night
'Cause I know you'll be on my mind

C
I'm washing my dreams
In the washing machine
I'm not that kinda' girl I know
They've been so bad
Since I met you
I wake up aglow from head to toe

V 3
Sometimes I wonder if maybe
I should meet you for sure
If I got to know you better
Would my dreams get better or worse

C
I'm washing my dreams
In the washing machine
I'm not that kinda' girl I know
They've been so bad
Since I met you
I wake up aglow from head to toe

#541475 - 09/15/07 10:52 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,192
bailey bridges Offline
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bailey bridges  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,192
USA
Hi Ms. Beth,

This is your LUCKY day. You have 777 posts! smile

Hi Mr. Wyman,

Well, I must admit that I cheated. Wrote mine back in June. And already posted it on the board. shhh don't tell anyone ok?

hey, did you consider this rhyme with sure instead, "pure". Or was "worse" s'posed to rhyme with "sure"? uhh, am I allowed to critique here? Think that you have a clever idea. A real twist on that 'wash that man right out of my head' huh? Or was it hair? crazy

Vanessa

#541489 - 09/15/07 11:46 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: bailey bridges]  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Wyman Lloyd Offline
Wyman Lloyd  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Missouri
I won't tell a soul you wrote it back in June ,Miss Nessa. I'm ,uh just like Duke in the beans commercial <G>.
Yep, sure is s'posed to rhyme with sure. (OK, it's a stretch, but I've stretched farther.)As to pure, I didn't consider much of anything. It only took 10--15 min. for me to scribble it. Took at least as long to type as to write. (Slow typist)
Doesn't make any difference if you're "allowed" to critique or not, the chief ain't here. Prob'ly broke something else, poor girl.
Thanks on clever. The muse had it ready soon as I asked. Guess she ain't "all" bad.
You need to get one of those remotez that squeaks, when you ask where it is.
My remote for the one TV, I leaned on one day 'bout a year ago and broke it in half, so I taped it back together. Still works. Gotta' replace the tape occasionally, but now some of the front is breaking up, but still works. (Well a new one coste $25 <G>.
(Unless you can program one, but I'm electronically challanged)
Wy

#541494 - 09/16/07 12:06 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: bailey bridges]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,766
Gary E. Andrews Online content
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Gary E. Andrews  Online Content
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,766
Portsmouth, Ohio, USA
Household Appliance © 2007 by Gary E. Andrews

She says, "Pick up your glass!
Put down a coaster!
Don't stick a butter knife,
Into my toaster!
The garbage disposal's
on the blink again."

She says, "Get off yer butt!
Go on! Cut the grass!
Don't get comf-ter-ble!
Take out the trash!
You have to call the re-
-frigerator man!"

(Chorus)
...She uses me like an old scrub brush.
...I think a thought. She says, "Hush!"
...Sometimes I wonder, Why I married her.
...She dances me like a washing machine.
...When she gets through, my pockets are clean.
...She hangs me out to dry for all I'm worth.
...She won't tolerate my defiance.
...I'm a miracle of modern science,
...But to her I'm just another,
...Household Appliance.

Her note says, "Be back later!
Dinner's in the oven!"
It's her idea of a,
Substitute for lovin'!
I've got the house,
all to myself and then...

(Chorus)
...She uses me, like an old scrub brush.
...I think a thought. She says, "Hush!"
...Sometimes I wonder, Why I married her.
...She dances me, like a washing machine.
...When she gets through, my pockets are clean.
...She hangs me out to dry, for all I'm worth.
...She won't tolerate my defiance.
...I'm a miracle of modern science,
...But to her I'm just another,
...Household Appliance.

(Bridge)
I set the clock and start to slumber.
She comes to bed and does that number,
Makes me feel, like a sleepin' giant.
I may be a miracle of modern science,
But I'm glad I'll always be her,
Household Appliance.



There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
#541520 - 09/16/07 02:01 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Gary E. Andrews]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey folks!! I actually came up with one on the same day as I posted the challenge. Of course I must refrain from commenting on it, but I'm wondering out loud if some of my storytelling is too vague....

Additionally, I don't have a REAL title. I just plugged in the generic "Appliance Song" so I'd recognize it in my folder. Please, any thoughts in that department would be much appreciated!

Off to look back at what you've all dished up now... smile


“Appliance Song”
© Lyrics 2007 Beth Williams

Verse One:
When I met Zöey at the zoo
There was no doubt, I was hooked
In front of the exotic birds
Said “unless you’re already booked
Can I take you out tonight?”
She teased “first want a better look?”
So she let me take a gander and
Man, saw my goose was cooked

Verse Two:
When I saw Ruby at the rink
My temp started to rise
The graceful stroking of her skates
Showed off womanly thighs
I went all out with fancy moves
Hoping to dazzle and entice
But all I got was her cold shoulder
Like an ice-pick between the eyes

Chorus A:
Wasn’t cooked on the stove
Or chilled by the fridge
But resulting attempts at alliance
Made my blood start to boil
While I tried to stay cool
Like a damaged-on-delivery appliance

Bridge:
I pondered this thought as I considered my history
Where women and kitchens were always a mystery
Sometimes they were hot, sometimes they were cold
But to get cooking with either, I needed something to hold.

Verse 3:
When I saw Wendy in the window
She seemed to shout “don’t GO”
Could this living doll mean me
I fantasized it was so
The manager sized up my interest
Asked “anything you wanna know?”
I shook my head, he handed me a box
Said, “all you gotta do is blow”

Chorus B:
She couldn’t learn to cook
Or put things in the fridge
But what she could do, O, she did so well
Until late that second week
When she somehow sprung a leak
But the patch kit worked, now you can hardly tell.



Beth





Last edited by Beth G. Williams; 09/18/07 03:03 PM.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541521 - 09/16/07 02:04 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Tricia Baker]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey Tricia,

Maybe you could chop up some of that writers block in a nice food processor (which you could maybe translate into a WORD processor, etc.)....

Or how about writing down five things in your house that are plugged in somewhere....put them in a hat, pull one out, and go to town with it...

Just some food for thought. Besides, I'm not worried....you always deliver. grin

Until later, relax, breathe and enjoy!
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541522 - 09/16/07 02:07 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Duh, Wy....I learned that kinda language -- and THEN some -- from an old family friend, Mr. Maytag.... grin He was always partial to me, since I get so dirty....(hee hee hee, I can barely type that without cracking up....)

Looks like you've posted something a bit further down, Wy....hmmmm, I'll have to check it out....

Bethsledge



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541523 - 09/16/07 02:16 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Lynn Orloff Offline
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Lynn Orloff  Offline
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
PA of the great USA
Hi Beth,

Appliances...wrote one not too long ago that fortunately includes a "dryer" in the bridge.


"Rendezvous" (Country Male Vocal)
(c)2007 Lynn Orloff


Baby, I'm tired, I know you are too,
This nine to five's wearin' me down,
Let's steal away this weekend,
Pack up, head out of town.

Lift
I don't want any excuses, we'll do what we gotta' do,
I'll get my mom to babysit, it's time to rendezvous

Chorus
Here's a private invitation to a rendezvous,
The only ones allowed to come are me and you,
Our mission is to make each other's dreams come true,
So darlin' come and join me for a rendezvous.


We could get ourselves a secret place,
Where no one dares to find us,
We'll leave the struggles of the world,
A long, long way behind us.

Lift
I'lll cut the lawn next weekend, the kids can feed the dog,
Don't need to pack a sweater babe, I'll keep you nice and warm

Here's a private invitation to a rendezvous,
The only ones allowed to come are me and you,
Our mission is to make each other's dreams come true,
So darlin' come and join me for a rendezvous.


Bridge:
I know the sink is leakin', I know the dryer's broken,
But honey we'll forget all that when we're walkin' by the ocean

Final Chorus
So please accept my invitation to a rendezvous,
The only ones allowed to come are me and you,
I know that we can make each other's dreams come true,
So darlin' won't you join me for a rendezvous.


Optional Tag
C'mon darlin', times a wastin'...

Last edited by Lynn Orloff; 09/16/07 12:09 PM.

My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
#541526 - 09/16/07 02:31 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: bailey bridges]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hi Vanessa,

Too funny and too true! I think it's hysterical how they call it a "universal remote", since the problem of losing the darn thing seems to BE universal. We must have five different contraptions for the TV, VCR, DVD, etc....and I don't think they all work (though testing that theory would require locating them, so let's just assume I speak the truth.... grin)

Somewhat of a short piece, it strikes me as a bit more prose than lyric (something you might find in the pages of Readers' Digest -- which is a compliment, BTW). Regardless, I always love how you take risks with your rhymes and meter. To so BRAZENLY leave us hanging at the end of your VCR line, well, just wonderful.

My only little nit is in your first verse, second line, where I trip a little over the "plastic wand-things". I know you need it to work with "raunchy".....might you consider?

I can’t believe how many odd shaped
button-operated "off" and "on" things
Are lyin' ‘round this house
Makes this place look raunchy

My only hesitancy there might be the loss of the word "wand", which implies a certain magical element to these gadgets...

Otherwise, nice job! Thanks for playing, as usual...it's so nice to know that certain people cannot resist the dangled carrot... grin

Ciao for now,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541530 - 09/16/07 03:08 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Howdy Wy,

First off, LOVE the hook. It reminds me of that old commercial jingle, "I'm gonna WASH that MAN right OUTta my HAIR"! Great original premise....though I'm wondering if Mr. Maytag had anything to do with this wink.....

Sorry about your bridge...I'm sure it'll either come back to you or someone will help you out (maybe me later....if I can). For what it's worth, I think your third chorus could work well as the bridge, with a bit of tweaking, since it does wrap up the storyline:

Sometimes I wonder if maybe
I should send you a rendezvous letter
If I really got to know you
Would my dreams get worse or much better

Now for my usual nitpicking:

Verse One:
Would you mind terribly scratching the "AND" from the beginning of line two? (read: "How many freakin' times do I have to reMIND you about this crazy !?) So I'm going to tweak a tad, okay?

WE FIRST MET BY CHANCE AT A PARTY
THEN ONCE AGAIN OUT ON THE STREET
SINCE NOTHIN' HAPPENED BETWEEN US
HOW'D YOU GET SUCH A HOLD ON ME?

I guess that was a fairly comprehensive "tweak", huh?)
Then the only other little nit is the word "UP" in the last line of the chorus...I don't think you need the extra syllable to maintain your meaning. Maybe you could also mix it up a little in the second half?

I'm washing my dreams
In the washing machine
I'm not that kinda' girl I know
BUT SINCE I MET YOU
I NEED TO BE SCRUBBED CLEAN
I wake up aglow from head to toe


Okay, I've been pretty liberal with the sledge tonight, Wy, since I know you can take it (LOL). Hope all suggestions taken in the right way -- as just that, SUGGESTIONS, keep or sweep, baby!

Good luck finding a missing section of your lyric...if you think it's necessary. I'm not sure that it does....

Ciao for now,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541532 - 09/16/07 03:12 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: bailey bridges]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Massachusetts
Hey again Vanessa,

I've just been reading the posts one by one, and I just about fell outta my chair when I saw you also mention the "Wash that man right outta my hair line"! Just told him the same thing!

I also did a bit of a tweak on that verse (maybe bridge?) you were wondering about....think it might address your question...

AND YES, EVERYONE IS ALLOWED AND ENCOURAGED TO COMMENT! I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEMS BEING THE LORD AND MASTER OF THIS THREAD, BUT IT'S VERY LONELY AT THE TOP (ha ha ha!). Seriously, chime in whenever you want.

As for your sneaky use of an already-written piece, I think that's great. It's sort of like we're recycling, doing our part to keep the planet green and all that... So no wrist slapping from me.... smile

Thanks again for sharing,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541539 - 09/16/07 03:22 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Mr. Lloyd,

While the chief might have been MIA, it is still strictly prohibited at all times to mention how quickly you were able to come up with this clever number (or any other piece, for that matter, which takes less than a good....well,...shorter amount of time than mine! mad)

Of course, I jest, as I'm just jealous of your jaunty muse(there's some nice alliteration for ya!).

BTW, for the record, I did indeed sustain another injury today -- well, actually exacerbated in existing injury. I'm supposed to wear my cast and these special thingies in my shoes, but I was just waking up and hobbling to the boy's room for his soccer gear for like TWO SECONDS, barefoot. Well in my wobbly NOT aglow from head to toe state, I caught my toe on the frayed corner of his area rug, in the gap betwen the edging and the fabric. Landed hard on same right foot, which does NOT seem to want to ever heal...If it keeps this up, I'm really going to have to put my foot down (LOL!!)

It's 12:20 AM, but I'm wide awake (coffee at 3:oo PM!! DUMB), so I'm still plugging away....

Later,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541550 - 09/16/07 03:53 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Gary E. Andrews]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Hey Gary,

A terrific and fun interpretation...and extra points for using the exact song challenge phrase "Household Appliance".

Lot of great images...I was feeling so bad for the guy (until the bridge, which I'll touch on in a sec.) The urgency of the demands placed on him start with a vengeance right from the word go, so good job on creating that atmosphere.

My only nit before that is just the use of the phrase "she dances me" in the 4th line of your chorus. Though the useage might be lost to a listener, I wonder if you might replace it with "she wrings me out"...I don't think "dancing" lends itself as well to having your pockets emptied....

While I love the "turnabout is fair play" angle in your bridge, I think it could be a bit stronger. Some of the rhymes feel a bit forced too. Would you at all consider something like this?:

(Bridge)
My work is done, so I hit the hay
She tiptoes in, for the last job of the day
She knows what to press, to turn me on
No batteries needed, I work until dawn
.
I may be a miracle of modern science,
But I'll gladly stay on
As her
Household Appliance.

Per usual, Keep or Sweep. smile

Finally, you've inspired me to try to be nicer to my husband tomorrow...though I do so at the risk of further bodily harm (meaning, if little ole me has to vacuum, there's no telling what will get sucked up!)

Anyway, thanks for playing, that was a fun one....

Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541552 - 09/16/07 04:13 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Nathan Baker Offline
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Nathan Baker  Offline
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Tennessee
Title: She Took The Fridge
Lyrics by Nathan A. Baker
(c)2007 All Rights Reserved

Verse 1
A six-pack, a bag of ice
Some fresh crumpets would be nice
We used to eat them on long weekends
Down at the cape watching sailboats descend
Out into the deep blue, such sweet memories
Leading back to this broken heart
Lord, I'm torn apart
I need a new start

Chorus
She took the fridge left me the toaster
She left with a chill, I loved her the most
I guess my fishing cooler will have to do
I'll need a few beers after what I've been through

Verse 2
Here's to the games all lovers seem to play
Once the glitter has faded and the spark goes away
Insinuations and innuendoes, outright lies,
Paranoia will divide love like a pie
Don't hate the little things; don't spoil love's vine
Don't magnify the weed
Celebrate the dandelion

Chorus
She took the fridge left me the toaster
She left with a chill, I loved her the most
I guess my fishing cooler will have to do
I'll need a few beers after what I've been through

Verse 3
Cheating hearts are all the same
Just change the player's face and name
Poison comes wrapped in some neat little packages
And sometimes tastes really good going down
She left me with a permanent frown
I hope she never comes back again
Because I know I'd let her right back in

Chorus
She took the fridge left me the toaster
She left with a chill, I loved her the most
I guess my fishing cooler will have to do
I'll need a few beers after what I've been through

Tag
She took the fridge left me the toaster
She left with a chill, I loved her the most

(c)2007



#541553 - 09/16/07 04:15 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Hey Lynn,

So many funny coincidences with this challenge...I suggested using a "rendezvous letter" in Wy's piece!! Which leads me to that bugger of a nit in the title. frown As noted, it's spelled RENDEZVOUS (to which you might say, sacre bleu!!)

Anyway, I thought this piece was quite romantic, in a teasing/pleading sort of way. It's so nice to hear a fella offering to take his wife out of the kitchen (though I bet he gets her barefoot and pregnant again!! wink grin :o )

As an aside, I find it intriguing that most of the songs so far are written from the opposite sex POV. I wonder if it's due to the historical sense of "this woman's work".....

My only other nit is I believe just a typo...in the verse after your chorus, I think the first word in line two should be WHERE instead of who?

We could get ourselves a secret place,
WHERE no one dares to find us,
We'll leave the struggles of the world,
A long, long way behind us.

I especially enjoyed both your Lifts and your Bridge... but I wasn't so sure about the Tag. Although, to be honest, I'm not really sure how to use a tag, so my alternative might make no sense at all. But for fun, if you are going to use a tag, how about something like,

"So come on then, time's a-wastin"

Keep or sweet, kind lady!

I look forward to seeing how everyone is doing on this tomorrow. Or should I say later today...oopsie, it's a little after 1 AM! Better sign off for now...

Thanks for sharing Lynn, and night all!

Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541555 - 09/16/07 04:21 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Nathan Baker]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Hey Nathan,

Just saw this baby, but I have to refrain from commenting at the moment as I'm too pooped to pop. tired Let me get some shut-eye, sleep and take a fresh look at this tomorrow. grin

In the meantime, thanks for staying up so late to play... although is Chatanooga Central Time? (My geography is at best "limited")

Til later,
Beth smile


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541579 - 09/16/07 08:29 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
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Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
I've enjoyed reading this thread, hope you like this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Coffee Pot Love Song
© words and music by C. Stewart ( Sept. 16, 2006 )

Flick the button with my finger
Start the morning brew
Our coffee pot is always hot
And baby so are you

I like to drink my coffee black
Hit me with some steam
You prefer a shot of sugar
And a drop of cream

CHORUS....
What if we woke up to find
Our coffee pot was dead
We'd be at a loss for words
Nothing could be said

We'd have to make a trip to town
Do it right away
The price is not the issue here
We're prepared to pay

But we don't need one with a clock
We're already up
We just need some coffee quick
In our favorite cup

CHORUS....
Because we woke up to find
Our coffee pot was dead
We were at a loss for words
Nothing could be said

BRIDGE....
It's always sad to lose a real good friend
But we got a new one and it's not the end

Flick the button with my finger
Start the morning brew
Our coffee pot is always hot
And baby so are you

Our coffee pot is always hot
And baby so are you













#541602 - 09/16/07 12:15 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Calvin]  
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Lynn Orloff Offline
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Lynn Orloff  Offline
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PA of the great USA
G'mornin there Beth,

Thanks for correcting my spelling of Rendezvous, and the other area where I had the wrong word as details are important. You have a keen eye and are to be commended! As I said this lyric was not written on the spot since I had it in storage, so I didn't get that exhilarating rush (I so enjoy) from the pressure of the challenge. But again the hour was late so I went to my archives. Have a great day and thanks again.

Best,
Lynn
P.S. I borrowed some of your tag idea, thank you!!

Last edited by Lynn Orloff; 09/16/07 12:53 PM.

My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
#541626 - 09/16/07 01:25 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
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Wyman Lloyd Offline
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Missouri
Good morning Bethsledge.
But I "like" and at the beginning of line 2 <G> (My Grammar didn't teach me much)
AND, <G>,quit that hobblin' around barefoot, You know better than that. Put on the shoes with the little thingies in them . How you ever gonna' get well if you keep re-injuring yourself?
Now that you're properly chastised on that, lessee what else you had to say-----------Oh yeah , the 3rd V as a bridge. Actually, I considered that. If the muse doesn't bring my two line bridge back, I may do that.
Do away with "up" in the last line of the C. Well, it would flow better without it. I may do that.
HEAL!
Wy

Last edited by Wyman Lloyd; 09/16/07 01:51 PM.
#541635 - 09/16/07 02:44 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Nathan Baker]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Massachusetts
Good morning, Nathan,

I have taken my requisite beauty sleep and am now half way thru a cup of Joe, so I feel better able to take on your song. Thank you for your patience....

So let's see....

First off, a smart hook (though at first I was thinking, what is she doing with former NFL star William "The Refrigerator" Perry?)...Seriously, though, I like it, as it puts an ironic spin on the "leftovers" from a relationship.

As for the lyrics themselves, I think Verses 2 and 3 are exceptional. I especially liked the lines

Paranoia will divide love like a pie

and

Poison comes wrapped in some neat little packages
And sometimes tastes really good going down

Seeing the caliber of these two verses, I do think you could make the first verse a bit stronger...especially since you're setting the tone for the whole piece there. Let me try mixing it up a bit?

A six-pack tucked in a bucket of ice
With a load of fresh crawfish sure was nice (crumpets too high-brow here)
It was all we needed those weekends long ago
Lazing at the cape, watching sailboats go
Out on blue horizons, soon too you'd depart
With another man, stepping on my heart
Lord, she tore my life apart
How to make a brand new start?

Hmmmmm, it appears I "tweaked" this a tad more than I had intended, I hope you remember this is all keep or sweep. I just think you needed to set up her deceit in your opening verse. I also like how it creates a juxtaposition of the romantic memories, with the banal remnants of the relationship you present in the chorus.

My only nit in the chorus would be in the first line. Just for the sake of the rhyme (you've already met the "appliance" requirement with "fridge"), how about:

She took the fridge, and soon I was toast
But I still feel the chill, I loved her the most

That does change the meaning a bit, and I don't know how comfortable you would be with that....


ANYWAY, hope you don't mind me playing around with this so much....it's such a great story, I couldn't help but sink my teeth into it. Terrific job!!

Remember, take it or leave, no worries....

Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541636 - 09/16/07 02:58 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Wyman Lloyd Offline
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Missouri
Well,Lynn---Beth, The only way I can remember how to spell rendezvous
is to pronounce it to myself just the way it sounds. I like the word though. It even brought on a lttle ditty. Do y'all wanta' see it? OK, here it is---only 6 lines, but that's probably 'nuff <G>
I've got a rendezvous on Mars
With a girl from the stars
She makes celestial music flow
Stardust is all she wears
She's got moonbeams in her hair
Where she comes from I don't know
Wy

Last edited by Wyman Lloyd; 09/16/07 02:59 PM.
#541643 - 09/16/07 03:21 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Calvin]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Hey Calvin,

Leave it to you to $exualize a coffee pot. grin :o Wonderful idea, though, especially as I'm currently nursing my second cup.

The song itself is your usual playground of fun. My only issue would be in the second couplet of your chorus, where I wonder if you were perhaps sleepin' on the job?sleep How about something a bit more vivid?

What if we woke up to find
Our coffee pot was dead
Without our jolt of java
Could we face the day ahead?
OR Could we even make our bed?


Of course, you know me and my obsession with meter...mind if I add a word or two here and there?

We'd have to DRAG OURSELVES TO town
GET DOWN THERE RIGHT AWAY
The price is not the issue here
We're QUITE prepared to pay

NO we don't need one with a clock
YOU SEE, we're already up
ALL WE'RE LOOKING FOR IS SOME quick
COFFEE in our favorite cup


I know you're a fan of shorter phrasing, but I just added a syllable here and there for a little variety -- as you know, do with it what you will....

Otherwise, thought this was a fun one...would love to have included somewhere (maybe in the R-rated sequel wink ) something about the gal -- like the coffee -- helping to "perk him up" in the morning.... :o

Thanks for playing...you have yet to disappoint!!

Ciao for now,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541647 - 09/16/07 03:36 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
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Tampa, Florida since 1973
HiDee Mz B!

Ya inspired me to Pen "You (& Cappucino)" this AM. Posted it separately so I'll be able to FIND It down-the-pike..via a Title Search. Hope ya likes it...(Sorry it's only got ONE Appliance in it...& Mostly in Da Bridge..but it's an Early AM "Love Song"..& not TOO Mechanical..alas!)

Maybe I'll do one on A Massager..heh..later-on... ;-)>
Thanks for The Inspiration on the Cappucino-Maker today,
Big Appreciative Hugs,
Stan


#541648 - 09/16/07 03:37 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Good afternoon Lynn!

Glad I was able to help out. smile After all, remember, going through these songs with a "WIDE" tooth comb is a valuable exercise for me too. As far as I'm concerned, it's a win-win situation.

Also, don't apologize for "recycling" a song for the challenge. I think it's helpful to be able to shed some new light on an old piece now and then. The distance of time seems to have offered you a fresh perspective on it.

Happy, too, you were able to incorporate part of my tag -- though for the life of me, I'm still not sure how they're supposed to play in a song.... confused

Anyhoo, ciao for now, and see you around the boards!
Beth



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541655 - 09/16/07 03:52 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Okay Wy,

I'm filled to the brim with caffeine, but I simply can't figure out what you're referencing with:

"But I "like" and at the beginning of line 2"

Right or wrong, inquiring minds want to know!

Glad you find my sugs worthy of consideration...I hope you can find your bridge....did you look under the fridge? grin

Regarding my healing process, I have come to the conclusion that it is going to be a very long on-going process. My right calf feels like a knife is stabbing in it, and I just can't put any weight on the foot. Thank goodness I can sit here at the computer and rest it (HA, I probably have that leg thrombosis thing they warn you about when sitting too long on an airplane.....)

While tempted of course to log another post and respond separately to your sweet rendezvous ditty, I feel that would be selfish...so I'll just jump ahead and comment right here. Let me just say it's inspiring how you can squeeze so much romance into such a short verse. Thanks for sharing again!

xoxo,
Hop-along Sledge



http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541656 - 09/16/07 03:56 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: ]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Hey Stan,

Thanks in advance for playing....I'm gonna pop over there right now to check it out...will be curious if there's any resemblance to Cal's song....

See ya there,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541670 - 09/16/07 04:42 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Apr 2001
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Wyman Lloyd Offline
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Missouri
You shoulda' had another cup Bethsledge <G>---OK--------------- Bethsledge---"Would you mind terribly scratching the "AND" from the beginning of line two?"
Lloyd---"But I "like" and at the beginning of line 2"
But I "like" "AND" at the beginning of line 2
OK---I shoulda' made AND more prominent. I'm guilty
(Never argue with a woman. There ain't no winnin'. Well if they're too far away and not, uh, a close relationship, then I guess you're safe <G>
Wy

#541699 - 09/16/07 05:48 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Wyman Lloyd]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Thank you kindly, Wy, for setting me straight. I was doing a lot of HEAD-SCRATCHING on that one... smile



Later, Bro...
Sister Sledge


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541732 - 09/16/07 07:32 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
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Joice Marie Offline
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Joice Marie  Offline
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Cornish Flat, NH, USA
Hi Beth

I wrote this song as sort of a joke some time ago....it needs lots of work musically and lyrically, so it's on the shelf, but since it kind of fits your challange I thought I'd add it to the thread....it's was actually fun to perform it when I wrote it. Now it'll take me a while to catch up with the rest of this thread, but I'm sure I'll enjoy the read. smile jm

Broken Things (c) joice marie 2007

Intro slow....
I have a shed of broken things
Last year's carburator
A phone that doesn't ring
My old printer, a broken mirror
Some old receiver that should sound clearer

ch
I keep those things 'cause they might be useful
I just might find a need for these broken things
Broken things, broken things

v1
They're pieces from the past
You can't remember
How they got broken
or why you became attached

The thing no longer works
You can't live with it
But you can't part so,
you store it to 'fix'

I don't know why
I keep all these things
that no longer work
Maybe I'm a junkman at heart

Once in a while
I just go in and poke around
Try to find something
That can go another round

br
In this fast paced disposable world
I'm just an old fashioned kind of girl
If I think I can fix it, I will try......

ch
I keep those things 'cause they might be useful
I just might find a need for these broken things
Broken things, broken things

ch repeat


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#541749 - 09/16/07 08:56 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Joice Marie]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
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Massachusetts
Hey JM,

Glad to see you, I always look forward to your entries!

Right in the middle of some other stuff, though, so promise to give it a good once-over later this evening...

Until then, hope you have fun reading through the thread so far...

Beth smile


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541780 - 09/17/07 12:35 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Joice Marie]  
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Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Massachusetts
Hey JM,

As promised, I'm BAAAACK! smile

So let's see...HMMM, it appears that everything old is NEW again for this challenge grin! -- which I think is groovy. I simply appreciate (as I'm sure everyone else does) that yall feel interested enough in participating to pull something out of a drawer if you weren't appropriately moved or didn't have the time to whip up something new. So for that, thanks!

Now as to your song....

As a Certified Ratpack, I totally get the hook, but for some reason, I feel an emotional disconnect. Perhaps this is the work-in-progress issue you explained at the outset. Even though you profess you can't remember why you were ever attached to these broken things to begin with, I don't necessarily believe that...you are an emotional treasure chest, my dear, and I bet you could name every bit of history about every single item! 'Course, that's putting you squarely in the singer's shoes...where you may not want to be...

So if and/or when you decide to play with this any more, I'd love to hear some more personal connectedness Even something as simple as in verse one:

I have a shed full of broken things
Last year's carburator
A PRINCESS phone that won't ring
MY FIRST ROOMMATE'S printer, a broken mirror
Some old receiver that should sound clearer

While obviously my suggestions are in no way meant to reflect your writing skills, I hope you see where I'm going with it. I won't go any further with specific lyrics, but I do believe there are a lot of interesting and different angles you could pursue with this...

a) maybe all stirred up by an old relative that has basically been put someplace on a shelf?

b) maybe the singer is worried that if there's something wrong with her, no one will make the effort to stick around to helpf figure out the problem and try to help her solve it.

c) Broken things, broken wings -- don't know what to do with it, just remembered it rhymed!

d) You might even reference loosely my opening remarks, about "everything old being new again." While not necessarily broken items, my mom keeps clothers forever, considering that at some point they'll be fashionable again...maybe you could play with that.

e) OR LASTLY, and perhaps very likely, the disassociation from the items might be your ultimate point. As in, it would be bad enough to hang onto things with fond memories attached to them, but when you can't even remember how they came into your life, you might start to question why that is...THEN, maybe you could stumble upon something you had forgotten about long ago (a broken doll, as trite as that is, for example), which would open up your heart once again...(do you hear violins in the background, or is that just at my end?? wink grin )

Regardless of my all-over-the-place suggestions (I just had some coffee/chocolate ice cream, so I'm good for a while!) I would love to see what you'd actually do with it (if anything); as you hinted in the disposeable world line, this could be looked at on a number of levels.

Bottom line, very thought provoking, though a little sad too. Hate to see you give up on it prematurely....

Cheers,
Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541816 - 09/17/07 07:34 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 204
PeterJ Offline
Serious Contributor
PeterJ  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 204
South OrangeCounty, California...
Dang. Even when I limit my expossure, I can't keep up. Went ot for an evening of Karaoke last night, and when I got up this morning, the power to my neighborhood had gone down. So I haven't even seen this threaed until 1:25 Sunday night/Monday morning.

I promise to look over the recent posts to this challenge and upload my own. After being without power for 16 hours, I thought it was kind of funny that I was probably the nosiest neighbor with my acousitic guitar and my voice. Felt a little sorry for the folks who had nothing to keep themselves entertained (lot's of napping at my house today).
Give me 15 hours and I'll have had a chance to look at the tread and work on my submittal to this contest.

By the way...Kudos to those who have already posted. You'll get yours soon. :-)





If music be the food of love, why is it so hard to keep my family fed?

Pete
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=734566
http://cwmusicpf.zoomshare.com/
#541827 - 09/17/07 09:52 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: PeterJ]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,816
Calvin Offline
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Calvin  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,816
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
The Dryer
© words and music by C. Stewart ( Sept 17, 2007 )

When I heard the clank and klunk
I figured it was broke
Then I cussed that piece of junk
As I watched that sucker smoke

I turned the heat up higher
Our clothes were wringing wet
Then the dryer caught on fire
And I haven't fixed it yet

CHORUS...
Now I hang our little undies on the line
The neighbors get to see which ones are mine

Yours are so lacy and petite
Mine are holy like the pope
Yours remind me of somthing sweet
Hangin' from that tight little rope

CHORUS...
Now I hang our little undies on the line
The neighbors get to see which ones are mine

BRIDGE....
I'm letting mister sun do his work for me
I save a little money, cause it's naturally free

MIne are kinda holy like the pope
Mine are kinda holy like the pope
Mine are kinda holy like the pope
Yours remind me of somthing sweet

CHORUS...
Now I hang our little undies on the line
The neighbors get to see which ones are mine
Now I hang our little undies on the line
The neighbors get to see which ones are mine




#541850 - 09/17/07 12:53 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Joice Marie Offline
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Joice Marie  Offline
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Cornish Flat, NH, USA
Hi Beth-a-boo

Thanks so much for your comments. I'm gonna print them out to put with the song....and who knows, maybe it will take a priority on the fix it shelf ! It was written when I first started writing songs and playing guitar. Not so long ago, but what I now feel I know about writing songs has come so far, nothing from early on seems worthy of fixing anymore. We'll see....I'm gonna check to see if I actually recorded it.

My thinking at the time was that I needed a song that would make the audience laugh, because I have a few moody/sad tunes. So if you bring them down, you then have to be able to lift them back up, or they'll leave. Ha ! At the time I had rented a dumpster to clean out my sheds...and frankly there was a lot of stuff that did not makes any sense as to why it was kept. Anyway, that's how it came about and you have some very good points so thanks lots....Now, I've read the thread and enjoyed...I'll see if I have any sugs for the other songs to add. smile Take care missy! jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#541852 - 09/17/07 01:02 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Calvin]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Wow, Calvin, just couldn't get enough of this one, huh?

Well, your persistence has paid off. This is a keeper, BRIEF though it is wink. Believe it or not, with the exception of one little typo (missing "e" in "somthing"), there is not much more for me to say, except that it's clever and I love the idea of juxtaposing her lacey panties with your Pope-like ones -- hee hee!

Just recently I saw a commercial featuring a clothesline (for some laundry detergent I think)...those ones that used to be strung between two buildings, on a pulley system. You just don't see those around much anymore. We have a neighbor who uses one (her's is connected from the back porch to a tree), and even though it's in her back yard and virtually hidden, it is still much frowned upon by some of the snootier inhabitants of the surrounding homes. Pretty dumb, huh?

We grew up with one of those poles with a sort of square spider-web system of lines. While you can't beat the snuggle-factor of a hot towel coming out of the dryer, there's still something to be said for shaking a towel out, getting the ladybugs and twigs off, and breathing in the outdoors. Up at my parents' beachhouse in Maine, it's even better....you smell the ocean.

Anyway, enough nostalgia for one post. Thanks Cal, for pulling out the stops and remaining true to your meter and rhymes!! wink

Have a good one,
Beth

P.S. With the not-infrequent reference to the holes in your "drawers", if you need to replace them any time soon, I'm sure we can get a bake sale going for you... grin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541854 - 09/17/07 01:12 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Joice Marie]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Good morning, JM,

Glad I was able to help in some fashion or another...I really was drawn to this story, so I would love to hear it "fixed"!

I completely understand the quandary, though, about the "worthiness factor" of revisiting earlier works. Even since just coming on board here back in April, I've learned so much, and the prospect of trying to fine-tune some of my favorites from that time seems like a waste of energy...I'd probably end up just starting from scratch. But then again, a good hook is a good hook is a good hook. So at least we have a starting point, right?

I'm glad you had a chance to read through the thread...it's been a fun one this time...I'm still laughing about how many people are talking about their coffee machines... I just had my token mug...then I felt dehydrated, so I had a Gatorade...now I'm going back for another cup of Joe. No wonder I keep falling down and hurting myself!!

So look forward to hearing more from you, as always! smile

The Beth-a-lyzer cool


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541858 - 09/17/07 01:25 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: PeterJ]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Peter, Peter, Peter,

Do you expect us to BELIEVE that old excuse about "the dog bit thru the power lines and electrocuted my homework?" What? You say no animals were used or harmed in anyway during the making of this post? Okaaaay, I guess... grin

But seriously, what a drag about losing power. If there is ever a major disaster which puts us squarely in the middle of one of those "The Day After" scenarios, count me OUT and get me one those pills you bite on to end it all. I can barely keep going with the full range of amenities at my disposal now. Can you imagine me hobbling through the wastelands, trying to get someone to re-fill my prescriptions??? eek

While as much as you might have been thinking "does she EVER stop talking?", I in fact bought you some extra time, Mister. I have been blessed with the ability to communicate while allowing the listeners to completely tune me out and go about their business while STILL maintaining an illusion of attentiveness. I know, pretty wild, huh? It actually took me a long time to realize I had this power... blush

So get to it, buddy. I suspect with the power out, you have an abundance of choices to think about for this particular challenge.

Ciao for now,
me


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541865 - 09/17/07 01:39 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 7,378
Ray E. Strode Online content
Top 30 Poster
Ray E. Strode  Online Content
Top 30 Poster

Joined: May 2001
Posts: 7,378
Brunswick, Ga. USA
Well,
I didn't think I had a song using a household appliance but after checking here it is. WRINGER is the word. Not used much anymore.

I'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE
© 1996 Ray E. Strode BMI

YOU TOOK CAREFUL AIM, RIGHT
AT MY HEART,
IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG, TILL
YOU RIPPED IT APART.
I REALLY LEARNED QUICK, WHAT
YOU INTENDED TO DO,
WHAT IN THE WORLD, DID I DO
TO YOU,
NOTHING I KNOW OF, BUT YOUR
MESSAGE IS CLEAR,
SO IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL
TAKE IT FROM HERE.

THANKS FOR THE LESSON IN
LEARNING THE BLUES,
AND ALL OF THOSE THINGS, THAT
I CANNOT USE,
NOW I KNOW HOW, TO RIP UP MY
HEART,
AND I THINK I KNOW HOW, TO
MAKE A BAD START,
JUST FORGET ALL THE THNGS,
THAT I HOLD SO DEAR,
AND IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL
TAKE IT FROM HERE.

I'VE BEEN PUT THRU THE WRINGER,
AND HUNG OUT TO DRY,
YOU REALLY KNOW HOW, TO MAKE
A MAN CRY,
I REALLY WAS THERE, WITH ALL
OF MY HEART,
AND WHO WAS TO THINK, THAT
WE'ED EVER PART,
BUT I SEE IT NOW, AND THE
MESSAGE IS CLEAR,
SO IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL
TAKE IT FROM HERE.

AND IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'LL
TAKE IT FROM HERE.

OK. KNUCKLEDHEADS ?? The next time I'm in New
England Beth, You are Toast!! Ha,ha.








Ray E. Strode
#541879 - 09/17/07 02:50 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
Top 10 Poster
"Tampa Stan" Good (D)  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Tampa, Florida since 1973
HiDee Again, Mz B!

OK..here's a Fresh Off The Pen "Appliance Song" for ya...(My Cappuccino Song apparently Underwhelmed, tho I think it'll sing like a Canary..) This'n's a Rocker..& You, of course, get Full Credit for The Openin' Line..heh-heh! ;-)>

"BUZZ-SAW BABY" (C) 2007 by Stan Good, BMI


There are Women who are Like APPLIANCES:
Some Are "Washer-Dryers"
(Some are Like "A Fridge"..)
But MY Little Woman's Built Kinda-Unique:
She Got a MEAN Cutting Edge
(& She's REALLY "Built-For-Speed!")

(CHORUS)
SHE'S MY BUZZ-SAW BABY
(Keeps The SAWDUST-FLYIN' Lady)
Builds UP (& Tears Things DOWN) Like CRAZY
SHE'S MY BUZZ-SAW BABY!

Yeah, This Little Woman musta Come From DEE-WALT
Builds Your EGO Up..QUICK
(RIPS Ya DOWN, IF At-FAULT!)
See her On The Dance Floor, CUTS a BIG SWATH
But You'll Be MISSIN' BOTH EARS Should You Feel Her WRATH!

(CHORUS)
She's MY BUZZ-SAW BABY
Like A BAT from HADES!
(One Mean-MOTORIN' Lady)
SHE'S MY BUZZ-SAW BABY!

(BRIDGE)
You'll Never Stop Her from CIRCULATIN'
(She Gets AROUND-&-AROUND)
So Mind Your Fingers..You'd Best Be WAITIN'
'Til This BUZZ-SAW BABY Slows Down~

She's Light-Weight, (With a Rugged Frame)
You Turn Her ON
& Things-Gonna-CHANGE
She's GOOD at Makin' The Appropriate CUTS
But TRY Pullin'-Her-Plug
& She'll Tell-You-WHAT

(CHORUS)
She's MY BUZZ-SAW BABY
RIPS Straight Lines Like CRAZY
Dust Settles (She's) Fresh-as-a-Daisy
SHE'S MY BUZZ-SAW BABY!

(CHORUS 2)
She's MY BUZZ-SAW BABY
(Makes Other Gals Look-LAZY)
She Spins-Around Like Crazy
{SPOKEN ADD:}
She's My KERF-CUTTIN', DADO-ROUTIN', Make-Ya-Into-KINDLING
{SUNG}
BUZZ-SAW BABY!!!

(C) 2007 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

#541890 - 09/17/07 03:10 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: ]  
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,573
John Voorpostel Offline
Top 10 Poster
John Voorpostel  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 10,573
I'm cheating and pulling out an oldie written in 2001


they’re still in love
© 2001 John Voorpostel


its late, the whirlpool’s running
that has always been a sign
that mom and dad are both in bed
and they’re starting to unwind
I hear that pulsing pattern
it has been this way for years
they may not be aware of it
but I have quite keen ears


their life is still romantic
dad says I love you with his eyes
and when he brings mom flowers
you can bet she still derives
all the pleasure she can take in
as she puts on her cologne
you can bet your bottom dollar
that night she doesn’t sleep alone


you can see it, they’re still in love
quite exciting , they’re still in love


the cycle lasts about an hour
then the house is very still
I can tell by gentle breathing
that they've both been fulfilled
next morning early daybreak
mom’s feet barely touch the floor
and dad does a little jig
as he dances out the door


you can see it, they’re still in love
quite exciting , they’re still in love


I hope that when I get there
when my love and I mature
we’ll still be living with a loving
that is certain, self assured
one thing that I’m sure of
its one of my fondest wishes
that our throbbing kitchen aid
will be for doing more than dishes


-30


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

iAccountant --- Info L inc --- Taxboard
#541957 - 09/17/07 08:06 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: John Voorpostel]  
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Richard G Blum (D) Offline
Top 10 Poster
Richard G Blum (D)  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Bronx, NY, United States
haven't read any others, so if there's a washing machine piece,,,

Bleached Madness

I read the instructions
and I hafta come clean
I'll never understand
my washing machine

something about heavy
something about light
something about wool
something about colored,
something about white
nothing about my plight

the heck with it all, I'll just toss it all in
so what if my blues are pin striped
pokka dotted briefs and streaked linen
catch word for my wife is YIKES!

fabric softener how clever
pocket change notwithstanding
clang, clang, clang, torture
to think, I'm so undemanding

I do know one thing
the number 14 is key
big circle in the manual
look at me smile...say cheese

something about heavy
something about light
something about wool
something about colored,
something about white
nothing about my plight

I've prayed for an end to this ungodly mess
well they say cleanliness is next to Godliness

© 2007 by rittman


#541962 - 09/17/07 08:44 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Richard G Blum (D)]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Beth G. Williams Offline
Beth G. Williams  Offline

Top 30 Poster

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Massachusetts
Hey all,

Just going to interrupt for a second to say, BOO HISS! I think I mentioned to some of you that I might have reinjured the right foot (broke it originally, well for the second time really, back in April, I broke the left arm in March, the left ankle a few weeks ago, and a rib last week)...ANYHOO just got back from doc and it appears I did in fact re-break it. Back in a cast for at least three weeks, then we'll revisit it.

So I just came on to whine a bit, I'm still sort of in a state of shock about it...and I may or may not be back on tonight to comment on the very generous offerings of the past several posters...OR, I may be up all night drinking and come up with some very clever critiques....only the night, my pain threshhold, and my hairdresser (LOL) know for sure. wink

Maybe in the meantime, one of you will take pity on this poor soul, and write a really nice critique of MY entry into the challenge...I can't even remember what it's called...OH YEAH, b/c that was part of my problem, I needed help with that...
Anyone feeling up to it, knock yourselves out...I dont' have enough energy much to do that right now.... frown

I do however, cling to my belief that everything happens for a reason...and I just know that the word PLATINUM is on the horizon for my perhaps-one-day-penned-smash hit "WELCOME TO MY PITY PARTY". Gotta also CLING to the tattered (sp?) remnants of my sense of humor....

Ciao for now,
Cold Busted, Beth


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."
#541971 - 09/17/07 10:11 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Richard G Blum (D) Offline
Top 10 Poster
Richard G Blum (D)  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Bronx, NY, United States
ouch Beth

off to work but I just thought I'd leave you this tid bit of advice, whatever you do, don't let Steve talk you into going back to Iraq with him...

rittman

#541976 - 09/17/07 10:59 PM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Richard G Blum (D)]  
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,816
Calvin Offline
Top 10 Poster
Calvin  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,816
Okeechobee, Florida U.S.A.
Hi Broken Beth,

my critique is short & sweet.
I thought it was fun & I liked this line extremely well.

Like an ice-pick between the eyes.

I'm really sorry to hear of all your broken body parts..
Get well soon.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

#541991 - 09/18/07 01:38 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Joice Marie Offline
Top 10 Poster
Joice Marie  Offline
Top 10 Poster

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 9,186
Cornish Flat, NH, USA
Hi Beth-a-Boo-boo

So sorry to hear the news...we'll I hope this is the last of the bad breaks you get ! You're just going to have to follow the docs advice now, that's all there is to it....

On the lyric, well I commend you for using zoey/zoo in it that's a feat in itself.

I wanted to play with your second verse a bit...for flow

When I saw Ruby at the rink
My temp STARTED RISING
The graceful stroking of her skates
Showed off WOMANLY thighs
I went all out with fancy moves
then here maybe....

Wasn&#8217;t cooked on the stove
Or chilled by the fridge
But RESULTING attempts at alliance
Made my blood start to boil
While I tried to stay cool
Like a damaged-on-delivery appliance


Anyway, they're just sugs and I enjoyed the kinky twist to the tale. wink jm





perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney
#542046 - 09/18/07 07:55 AM Re: NEW SONG CHALLENGE -FOR SEPTEMBER.... [Re: Beth G. Williams]  
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
Derek Hines Offline
Derek Hines  Offline

Top 100 Poster

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,893
United States Oregon
Well thought I might try my hand at this any ideas for a title?

1st Verse
Well the fridge won’t freeze
And the stove won’t cook
The repairman’s coming by
To take another look

2nd Verse
It’s frosty in December
Hotter than heck in July
I can’t get it adjusted
Here’s the reason why

Chorus
Nothing works in this house
Everything I own
Is broken down
It’ll cost too much
To fix it
Gotta get out of town
Before it all
Crumbles to the ground

3rd Verse
Well my car won’t start
An my truck is dead
One needs a battery
The other needs a head

4th Verse
With all the money I been
Putting out for repairs
I could own the Mona Lisa
Or at least a new Frigidaire

Chorus
Nothing works in this house
Everything I own
Is broken down
Good intentions
Won’t fix it
Gotta get out of town
Before it all
Crumbles to the ground

Bridge
Well the furnace just blew up took half the house with it
My insurance policy lapsed now I wish I’d been in it

Chorus
Nothing works in this house
Everything I own
Is broken down
Gonna cancel
The repairman
Gotta get out of town
Before it all
Crumbles to the ground

Tag
Too late the house just fell… down

Copyright September 18, 2007 Derek Hines All Rights Reserved

Last edited by Derek Hines; 09/18/07 07:56 AM.

All the worlds a song and all the people Singers

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pageartist.cfm?bandID=740346
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