JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 Pineyfest Demo- with Shelia Quattlebaum

Shelia Q asked me to post this for her. It's one of our Pineyfest demos

http://www.songramp.com/mod/mps/viewtrack.php?trackid=58874

I had a pro writer tell me that no signed artist would sing something like this, but we had an opportunity to have it done fairly cheaply by some top musicians, so I hope maybe it'll strike a chord with someone on his way up.

I'D RATHER BE BROKE IN NASHVILLE

(verse)
Yeah, you're right, I'm thinkin' 'bout the same old stuff
That maybe it was really stupid givin' up
My job is great, I'm on a rocket to the top
But you and music are the only loves I've got
And babe, I know I'm asking for an awful lot
But I can't rest until I give it one good shot.

(chorus)
Hey, what's the meaning of success
How many chances do we get
I just can't make that voice inside my head be still
Money can't replace regrets
And it can't fill this emptiness
Someday I'd love a pretty house here on a hill....
But right now, I'd rather be broke in Nashville

(verse)
These trophies always put a smile on my face
When I would sing the others fought for second place
But singing on the holidays for everyone
And Karaoke Tuesdays just don't get it done
I'm sure that both of us can find some decent work
Eat a few more casseroles and skip desserts.

(repeat chorus)

(bridge)
Isn't that what you first loved in me?
The passion that my singing let you see.

(repeat chorus)

Bill Osofsky, BMI, Shelia Quattlebaum, BMI copyright

I think it could get a singer's attention.

Ah they don't know everything, sounds good to me

sorry double post

Sounds real good. Who did the vocals? Were they laid down in the same session or were they added later? I think the chorus is very well written- with one reservation (below)*. For a song written about making it in Nashville, (and I am sure there are thousands), this one is pretty universal. It works for anyone aspiring to leave any (compromised) life and to reach for the life they dreamed about.

* This part of the chorus doesn't quite hit the mark for me:

Someday I'd love a pretty house here on a hill....
But right now, I'd rather be broke in Nashville

The meaning is clear in context- that you would rather be broke in Nashville than to be comfortable somewhere else, doing what you don't love; but that is not quite what is said. To say you would rather "be broke in Nashville" implies that you are, or could be, rich somewhere else. If you are broke somewhere else (ie. SOMEDAY I'd love a pretty house...etc), it deflates the the intention of the phrase.

I think you wanted to say something like:

I'd trade my job and our house on the hill
for a little more hope, Yeah I'd rather be broke,
in Nashville.

That occurred to me when musically you seemed to need an extra word at the end of the phrase. The exact number of syllables you need to make it work with the music you already have is easy to work out. I think punctuating the word "broke" with the word "hope" adds the rhythm that seemed to be missing in the present vocal recording. Still a really well crafted song. Good work.

I remain impressed with the quality of the songs coming out of the Pinevest demo derby. What a great experience that was. Thanks Bobby Gallup for making it happen this year. Thanks Mike Dunbar for all your extra work charting, engineering, playing the base, and mixing these great songs!

Thanks Lee, Louis. Sam, the vocal was done by George Clark at a later time. Thanks for your comments.

Bill

Bill, you and Shelia wrote a fine song here.

Yes, George Clark is a top notch singer, he's a buddy of mine who works the bluegrass circuit with his band George Clark and Dixie Flyer, of which I'm a member. Driving to gigs, I've heard George sing songs of all kinds, from bluegrass to old country, contemporary country, jazz standards, traditional gospel, metal, R&B, disco, blues, you name it. He always sings them with "feel" and "polish," even when it's a song he just heard, so I thought he'd make a good demo singer. Then after we did a country and rock gig together in Hohenwald Teneessee, I knew he'd do an excellent job on demos, so I asked him if he'd be interested in doing some songs for the Pineyfest Demo Derby. George's schedule, he's studying law, didn't allow him to make it to the Derby session, but he later came over to my place and knocked them all out of the park.

I'd also like to mention the band. As was said before, I was the only band member who had heard any of the Pineyfest Demo Derby songs before the session. On this song, and on a handful of others, there were no scratch vocal or rhythm guitar tracks, I just played the songs for the band from the internet links before we started recording. Of course, previously, I'd written number charts and arranged the tunes as to who was going to play where, but that doesn't diminish the fact that these guys, Fred Satterfiels on drums, Willie Rainsford on keyboards, Mike Baker on guitar, and John Heinrich on pedal steel, dobro, sax, flute, clarinet, or harmonica, did an amazing job. Two of them are even JPF members. Bill, I love your signature quote about throwing around the word "great," well as far as I'm concerned, these guys are great, they're every bit as good as many of the famous players of their instruments, even better than some. Recording this song and 39 others in two days, and doing all of them at at very high level of musicianship, is something very few folks can do. My hat's off to them.

Thanks again, Bill and Shelia, for letting us work on your fine songs.

Hi Bill and Shelia,
As usual, I couldn't get it to play but from the lyric, I'd agree with some others. Looks like it'd work to me.
Wy

Mike, thanks again for all that you did. You and the guys all did a masterful job and at a very reasonable price.

Bill

Thanks everyone for responding...
and Mike Dunbar, thank YOU and Bobbie and the band for making this happen. I'm meeting with a young lady this coming week to hopefully put down the vocals for the two female songs, and then I would like to post them here for you and others to hear. 39 songs in 2 days is amazing! Last year I was able to be a part of a project with an indie artist and was in the studio with them. The musicians were all Pros, brought down from Nashville. They did her 12 songs in a day and a half. It was amazing watching them. Anyway, thanks again.

~~Shelia
www.sheliaquattlebaum.blogspot.com
www.gmia.org

Hi Sheila and Bill,

I agree, this is a great demo. As far as it being commercial, all it takes is one singer to like it. A lot of mine that I think aren't commercial, people like, and vice versa. Good luck with this one.

Hey Wy,

If you email me (under profile) I can send you an mp3 if you'd like. Thanks for the read anyway

Hi, Bill and Shelia,

COOL song! I can really relate to it

I'd buy it, too

I totally agree with Samuel's comments about the chorus. I found myself feeling like the last line - your hook and most important one - was missing a syllable in the words, not the music.

Good luck with this song!!

Emily

Bill,

You and Shelia are a great team. You have been writing top notch stuff for the past several years. This song is just one example of the talent and craftsmanship you two have. And, I agree with Joe (Samuel Harris) about a word or syllable missing in the vocal presentation.

George is indeed a fine singer. He did the vocals for a song that Harriet Ames and I wrote last year. We should be getting that one real soon. I'm anxious to hear it!

Great job here!

Alan

That's interesting some of you wanting to hear another word or so at the end of the chorus. I'm sure it would sound fine that way, but I'm feeling like what we got works.. Thanks for the suggestions though!

Hi EMILY. It's been awhile since we have corresponded. I don't get a chance to be on here as much as I used to.. wish you could have been at Pineyfest this year. It was great.

Hi ALAN.. Thank-you for thinking Bill and I make a great team. We've worked really hard the past couple years!! I'll try and make sure I get to listen to your PF song when it gets here. This year's PF was really good, don't you think? I enjoyed listening to your songs and watching you play guitar. Best to you.

~~Shelia

www.sheliaquattlebaum.blogspot.com
www.gmia.org

Hi John,
Yeah, every now and then you run across a song that one might not have thought would have been "commercial," and it makes it through the gates. My philosophy is "Ya just never know."
Thanks for listening and commenting.

~~Shelia

www.sheliaquattlebaum.blogspot.com
www.gmia.org

I notice that this song is number one across the board in the contemporary country charts at Soundclick. Congrats.

Hi Bill and Sheila,

Thanks for sharing your song. Turned out very good and I like the message. I'm sure it warms the hearts of many who share the singer's views. I guess they would be musicians too. So, the audience may be limited. Hope not in your case. Don't see why others couldn't relate in general, to dreaming and following one's dreams. Good luck with it. Best wishes to you both.

Vanessa

Mike, I think you may mean Songramp, I don't think it's even posted on Soundclick, certainly not by me. But thanks.

Thanks for listening Vanessa. I hope the message will be universal, about following your dream. The messenger just happens to be a singer.

Bill, yeah, songclick, I got it right now.

As to the rhythm of the last line of the chorus, it ends on the four of the measure rather than the one of the next measure. But, if it landed on the one, there'd be two problems. First, it would step on the musical hook of the turn around and second, perhaps more of a problem, it would either put an accent on the second syllable of the word Nashville, (which happens neither in the standard American English pronunciation, nor in the local vernacular [Nash vull]) or it would cause you to change the lyrical hook line. The lyrical hook line is strong, so save that fix for another song. To my ear there's no problem with the rhythm, it only makes the lyrical hook more rhythmically distinctive and the musical hook more important.

Yeah, what Mike said

Howdy Bill and Shelia,

Please forgive me for being so tardy to this party!!! I LOVE this!! You and Shelia wrote excellent lyrics and music...and Mike and the Demo Derby guys really brought this together! Truly enjoyed George's vocals on it. Personally...I think the rhythmic pop in the chorus is awesome...much more personality than if it was just sung straight up!!

Hope this takes you where it needs to go!! To the top!! I know we hear this advice here all the time...but still..songs DO get through!! You just have to follow where your heart leads you with each song!!!

Hugs,
Bobbie

Catchy as can be Bill and Sheila... (thought I'd already commented....)...and we each hear things differently...
and see things differently...
I love the way the last line of the chorus sounds.....word upon word...and right, it could have gone the other way too...but
I loved the way it sounded and felt.

best to you both...
Missed seeing ya at the Fest...
hoping for next year......

Kaley

Hey Bobbie! No such thing as being Tardy to the Party...this party goes on all the time!!! HA. Gotta keep it going, don't ya know? Got to do this business almost 24/7.. Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment. We're happy with this song. Can you believe on our two female songs there's still no vocal? I was going to do them myself here locally, but I have met a young lady who is a member of our GEorgia Music Ind. Assoc. and I like her voice.. she also is learning to write, so I am going to help her out and give her some experience.. I hope to do these other two demos next week w/her. Can't wait to finish them, and I know Bill is READY for them to be finished. Can NOT believe it's been a month already since we all met at PF. Time is going by too fast. Oh! Glad you liked the "interesting" tempo, I think is the way you said on SR... Now get out there today, and get your songs heard up there in N'ville town!!!

Thanks, Shelia

www.sheliaquattlebaum.blogspot.com
www.gmia.org

Hi Kaley,
Thanks for listening and commenting. I was hoping you were at PF this year because last year I didn't really get a chance to talk with a lot of you.. I got the chance a little bit more this time. BTW, Thanks for visiting my Soundclick site recently.. I don't get on there very often.. I need to update a lot of stuff and add some songs, but for some reason, my computer lately doesn't like for me to go on there and do anything!!
Okay, I'm gonna go on down here now and take a listen to THE BENCH.
Best to you,
Shelia

www.sheliaquattlebaum.blogspot.com
www.gmia.org

I like the Lyics now if I can just get home and hear the music lol