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This one has been through rewrite and we've just completed a new demo. Melissa Evans from Lyric 3 is my co-writer on this one...got the demo yesterday, pitched it today. I have this as the first song on my music page at this link... www.soundclick.com/mokerjarretthere's the lyric, thanks for listening. Moker TRAILER PARK SEXY 1. She's got Gretchen Wilson hair long, soft, and flowin' tight little shirts are what she wears don't matter where she's goin' bedroom eyes and red lipstick wiggles into some Daisy Dukes to complete her little outfit she may not have Hollywood Fashion sense, but she's got curves that just don't quit She's Trailer Park Sexy her house on wheels is her retreat perfect body, from her head to her feet got her own taste, and a gorgeous face somethin' about her gets to me... She's Trailer Park Sexy 2. She's the life of the party showin' her tattoo in the small of her back She's Southern Proof the Lord makes beauties on both sides of the track always drinks her beer, straight from a can tips her Earnhardt hat,when she sees a military man around the edges she may be just a little bit rough but there ain't nothin' wrong with bein' a little bit tough She's Trailer Park Sexy her house on wheels is her retreat Perfect body from her head to her feet got her own taste, and a gorgeous face somethin' about her gets to me... She's Trailer Park Sexy bridge: She’s had a few boyfriends But the relationships always end Cos she’s feisty and hot And they can’t handle what she’s got She's Trailer Park Sexy her house on wheels is her retreat I may not take her home to mama but I'd sure like to get her off her feet somethin' about her gets to me... She's Trailer Park Sexy Ohh She’s Trailer Park Sexy Trailer Park Sexy Ohh She's Trailer Park Sexy © 2007 all rights reserved Moker Jarrett ASCAP/Melissa Evans mjbmusic@comcast.net
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Moker and Melissa, this is excellent. Wish you all the best with it. Sounds reallllllllly nice. I don't know who the vocalist is but he's got it going on.
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Moker, Clever bridge on this, a short bio of this gal's life. High class production about a "low life" character. Excellent demo! Michael
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. -- Johann Sebastian Bach MichaelBorges.comLicenseQuote.com
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Tricia, We wrote this song about two or three months ago, demo'd it, sent it to a hit writer, he made some observations and comments , rewrote it, and what is here is the retake. The singer is Dennis Parker, he is the singer on all my male country demos, he really is quite a talented guy. Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment, and for the luck...like I said I'm already pitching it, and that luck is just what we need now...Moker
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Looks like Moker smelled a good lyric and took it for a ride. I've noticed that Melissa has an ability to write well in the contemporary country genre. Hope the pitching pays off for the both of you. Commerical demo. Good luck you two!!!!
Best, Lynn
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Oh yeah! This is sooooo commercial and so nicely done. And you are right about Dennis. I have heard quite a few of his demos and he is always right on the money. Didn't he travel with Tracey Lawrence for a while? Back-up singer, maybe?
I really like these two lines:
"She's Southern Proof the Lord makes beauties on both sides of the track"
And your bridge really pulls it all together. Of course, that's what a bridge is supposed to do. But most folks don't do it this well! Super song! Best of luck with it.
I was wandering if you had run this one by Rebecca Dale. I know that you and she collab from time to time. She would probasbly like the heck out this one. Heck...most people would!
Al
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Michael, thanks for checking this one out, the bridge makes it all gel for me too...Moker
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I just wanted to say thanks to everybody that took a listen and commented. I had a lot of fun doing this one. Moker is a great person to work with!
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Lynn, You are exactly right, well mostly, what I felt at first was a very unique and strong hook, I really don't think songs have a prayer with out that going for them...we worked and reworked this and here's what we came up with. We've taken the advice of #1 hit songwriters and here's what we've come up with, if this makes it or not it's not because of lack of effort or desire. I've felt like this lyric, although it's been massaged, could be commercial from day 1. You are right about Melissa, I think her strongest efforts to date are right in this realm of Contemporary Country stuff with a provocative edge. I am fortunate to have worked with her on this...thanks for the listen...Moker
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Al, Thanks for the listen, You always encourage me to keep doing what I'm doing, I appreciate the listen and I'm just gonna keep pluggin' away at what I do until I get there...and yes, I believe Dennis is still backin' up Tracey and he's more than talented enough to be the artist himself, Nashville is certainly not always fair is it.?! The Southern proof line, I'll say I came up with that, while the bridge is all Melissa, that's why we're a good team...ha...and of course I ran it by Dale, she's my main one I co-write with so her opinion is invaluable to me along the way...Moker
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Melissa, Thanks for the great lines, storyline, fantastic hook, and for stickin' it through. I think we've got a pitchable song here, in fact I know it's pitchable cos I'm already pitchin' it, let's just hope somebody steps up to the plate and smacks it...ha...thanks again...Moker
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Moker & Melissa, Very nice. Modern and unique beat. Great lyrics. If that's your band playing, you guys sound great. Good job to the both of you! Steve
Woops! Just noticed Dennis parker was the singer. Didn't read the other posts first. Take care
Last edited by Stephen D; 07/29/07 05:42 PM.
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Stephen, Thanks for the listen, Trailer Park Sexy was such a cool hook it just drew me in and I knew I had to write a contemporary Country song to bring it out with...you're right Dennis Parker on vox, and Jason Roller ran the session for us...it's great to write and have those guys there to help us get them ready to compete...thanks again...Moker
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Hey Moker and Melissa,
Cool song you guys have here, got that Jeffrey Steele vibe going on. Love the hook. Love hearing an organ!
Would have liked to hear the chorus kicked up a notch, a little more energy, other than that, great song.
Good luck with it.
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Kindof sounds a little bluesey.. Hey what if on this part "She's Southern Proof the Lord makes beauties" You changed it to "Angels instead of beauties"
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Iggy, thanks for the ear and the comments bro, I'm pitching this now, we'll see what happens, I'll mention the chorus and see if we can't bump it a bit, by the way Jeffrey Steele is my favorite contemporary country writer, I've met him a couple times, wish I had his job, his boss is a cool guy too...ha...thanks again...Moker
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Louis, I happen to wish this was a little more straight forward country myself, it is a genre straddling song, which is great for an established artist to cut, but new or even sophomore artists hold tight to a sound until their fan base is established. so while it's real fun to listen to, I wish it was a little more Nashvilleized so the pitching would receive more green lights. I just started to pitch it so, ya neva know, right? The Beauties to Angels line, I'll have to wait and see if an artist wants to make that change, this is demo round two on this song and I've got to pitch this and move on creatively. Thanks for the listen...Moker
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Hey Moker,
Cool song. Can be done either as a southern blues/rock, or countrified, both would work. Can even hear a few NY jazz licks in there. Really versatile song, and easily convertable to a number of genres. Good luck with it.
cheers, niteshift
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Hi Melissa, Hi Moker, This is fantastic all the way around. I love the jazzy soulful kinda Lyle Lovett style to the music and vocal, , all those great licks in between lyrics--but the lyrics bring the song to life, they form instantaneous crystal clear images, images I welcome, btw Good luck and best wishes, Mike
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice Fortune depends on the tone of your voice
-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon) from the song "Songs of Love" from the album "Casanova" (1996)
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Niteshift, that's what I'm kinda hoping for, that since country has basically swallowed and incorporated the southern rock genre, that one of those guys might pick this up and go with it. We'll have to wait and see if we can get it cut...one thing for sure, I'll be tryin. thanks for listening and commenting...see ya around...Moker
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Moker,
This is my first real critique on JPF. I dont' claim to be good at it nor can say I'm very comfortable at it. But here's my honest take:
I read the lyrics first and thought they were great. Very well written, clever, great imagery. However, I was expecting to hear a more rockin' melody. Something in line with J. Steel's "Something In The Water." or "I'm Here For The Party." The lyrics scream "attitude." What I heard wasn't bad, but I think that the melody seems to be in genre "purgatory" and would like to hear it with and "attitude."
ljw
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LJW, I actually do Somethin' in the Water live with my band...ha...to be honest the demo guys I use kinda took this in that jazzy groove direction and I've had them add some country licks to try and fix it. It's a good observation you've made and one I kinda knew the first time I got this back. He does sing it very well, maybe someone will pick it up and fix it when they cut it,or maybe I'll redo it at some point myself....Thanks...Moker
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Mike, Thanks for taking a listen and commenting. I love the song's imagery as well, that's what we're trying to do is conjure up a picture of a girl that is friggin' hot to a redneck and a Senator or businessman. I mean when she's got it goin on, she's got it goin' on right?! The genre straddling issue is one where it will take the right artist to use this, or a great producer who can see the potential of the lyric...Thanks...Moker
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Moker,
Cool song and well done demo. I think the music has got that 'tude you want and the vocals do reflect some of that. Using LJW's comments, I think the vocalist might have too much of a "clean" voice for a song like this. However, I think the vocals are still excellent and you have a very pitchable tune there. Great job all the way around and good luck with this one.
I see you used "Magicshack" for a lot of your demos and they seem to do a very good job. I see they charge $350 for a "full-band" demo (or $250 if you mix it yourself) and then $50 per additional instruments. That seems like a pretty good deal -- is this sort of a standard price?
Again, happy hunting with pitching this one.
Kevin
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Kevin, Thanks, some are less, some are more, there's a wait factor with these guys when they're on the road, but they're on the road with name acts, so the quality of the work is something I've been real happy with. I think if anything the vocal might be a little too soulful on this. I find it hard to pick at Dennis' singing though , some of the publishers I pitch to have even made a point to tell me he's way talented. I met these guys through Dale, my main co-writer. I've always had them mix.
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Hey, a little good news on this today, it was nominated for best of songU. Which means a publisher and perhaps a songplugger will have it in their group of elite songU songs for filling pitch opps from. Dale and I have two of those together, this is Melissa and I's first one together...thanks for listening everyone...MJ
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Great Work Moker & Melissa Very well crafted and clever... And Moker I'm just so impressed and inspired but your hard work, commiment and ability to adapt and get it done... I liked the demo and have always liked Magic's work. Can't really add much except I thought maybe the song (production wise) could have been rougher, harder and heavier. I love the vibe but these lyrics have words that feel like they want to jump out at you and bite you. The vocal (good sound) was so mellow and lacked dynamics. I just think this track needs to kick ass to get the attention it deserves.. where was the guitars? More dynamics... Good song! and again I'm so happy you are on stride and getting so much accomplished.
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Mike, Thanks for the kind words and advice. I wish this was a little more in your face also. I'm going to pitch it as is, already am, but I just wish the production was a bit more with a punchier edge like the lyric. Next time I write a punchy one maybe I should try substudio...ha...Time will tell how it flies, already had one publisher tell me it was too redneck for him, and he's on Music Row...when Country music has to have the redneck taken out of the lyric, there has been a shift in the genre, which won't hurt me in the long run, I was raised on southern and hard rock...thanks for the encouragement...Moker
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moker and melissa
i dont know what to say as i am not an expert when it comes to crits, but i DO know what i like to listen to and this is it! it sounds great and i found myself listening to it a few times...just couldnt get enough...even made my wife listen to it...more than once...you guys are amazing! good luck with it and i hope this finds you well
nick
If you give them the tools, you give them a chance. ngb
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Moke & Lissa Good job guys. I think the only nit I have has already been mentioned. I'd like to hear it have a more kick ass feel to it. I like the bluesy sound but I think it would better suit the lyric with more "attitude".... I know, I know...did you expect any less from me? Attitude is my middle name..lol. At least that's what I've been told. of course, I've also been told it's Michelle....but who knows what to believe anymore. Good luck with it & Moke, if we are takin' numbers...I'm next...lol. Bree
The ideal poet has a genius for making the things we see every day seem new. ~ Samuel Johnson I write because I breathe, I breathe because I write. ~ Me www.soundclick.com/breeg
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Nick, really good to hear from you and glad that you enjoyed the music. I think this has potential to be something folks would like on the radio. Not this actual version, but this song, I'm gonna keep tryin' to get it in front of, I dunno, Trace Adkins, Dierks Bentley, who else?...How are things up in Maine? had one of my carpet installers move up there a month or so ago...Thanks again for your support...Moker
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Moker, Congrats on the song nomination! You have alot of exciting things going on right now with good reason. Sounds like SongU has been a good avenue for you. Would you say that SongU has been instrumental (no pun intended:)) in getting your songs heard? I think I remember in another thread that your single song deal with "Candles" was obtained through Song U. Is that right? I'm seriously considering myself. Still haven't got critiques back from TAXI yet. I'm just starting, but realize that I don't have the connections or wherewithal to persistently pitch my music directly to publishers, so I believe I'm going to have to utilize other methods like TAXI and Song U.
ljw
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Wonder, have you heard this one?
What do you get when you combine all of the women who live in a trailer park into one woman?
A very angry woman with a full set of teeth.
Yes, the lyric is killer, I'll update when I hear it....
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Great song!!
I agree that the overall production would need to be punched up more for a final recording - but it's a fantastic demo! It's a winner... just needs a bit of 'umph'...
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Bree, you disappeared , now you're back, thanks for the listen. Congrats on your deal with Lynman. I'm swamped with studying for a contractor's exam and about 8 deep on co-writes, but eventually I'll get caught up. Thanks again...Moker
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LJW, songU has been a good avenue. Like Taxi, I don't think that they can claim a bunch of major artist cuts, but there are alot of single song contracts ( I know 4 or 5 who've gotten them as a direct result of pitching there) and the whole idea of raising the bar on the level of music you produce stays on your mind constantly. I use a coach there who is a hit writer and he will absolutely rip me when I'm off base thinking a song is worth spending money on as is, and then let you know when you have something viable as well. Thanks for the listen. I can't wait 'til I have a little more time to get into the FTP thing we started, see ya...Moker
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Snake, that's funny...but this girl is Trailer Park Hot...and she represents about 5 million girls in this country who fall in that category, and then there's 50 million guys who like any girl that's hot...I got one line to change, the one where I may not take her home to mama, I think I should take her home to mama, and still like to get her off her feet...ha...thanks for checkin' in...Moker
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Mikey, I appreciate you takin' the time away from life in Texas to listen to this one. Hopefully the song is catchy enough as is to get someone's attention. I'll just have to pitch it, cos they can't hit it if I don't pitch it...ha...Moker
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