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#517136 06/29/07 02:37 PM
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(this is my first attempt to post in a while, i am sure some people may still feel hostility towards me, I, however, feel none for any of you. but i do feel hostile towards someone who i can't seem to get out of my life... I call this writers therapy, please Nit)

HOLE IN THE DESERT

V1
Hey little darling lets go for a ride
there's pretty stars shining in the desert tonight
maybe we can talk about that fight we had

we always disconnect when we leave the car
Lets get the motor running, drive till we are
making sense with one another, just our own rehab

we could head out towards Palm Springs, take a right
to that modern ghost towns flashing light
stop being bull headed aint nobody right .. give in

if our talk turns bad, and we have to drive back,
never mind those shovels or that plastic wrap
don't say nothing that will make me snap again..

Chorus
there's a hole out, in the desert
on second thought there may be quite a few
but the one you, should be concerned with
is the hole in the desert i'm digging for you


V2
Say little Darling the cars acting up
our talk is getting old, don't you get enough
of pointing fingers and yelling all that stuff yet?

If we walk across the desert we may reach a phone
unless you'd rather sit, in the car alone
we should stick together so i can get you home
oh yes

Chorus
there's a hole out, in the desert
on second thought there may be quite a few
but the one you, should be concerned with
is the hole in the desert i'm digging for you

Hello mister officer, I haven't seen
or heard from my ex, if you know what i mean
when we had that fight i just fled the scene for good

Now i cleaned up that mess and i'm moving on
no body really misses her since she's been gone
i made the world better, though I may be wrong
that's why instead of doing it i wrote this song

Chorus
there's a hole out, in the desert
on second thought there may be quite a few
but the one you, should be concerned with
is the hole in the desert i'm digging for you


(c)2007 bixby




Last edited by Sofa King Bixby; 06/30/07 05:02 AM.

"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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HIDee SofaGuy!

Pretty Good "Therapy Song" AND it feels "Commercial" as-well.

I felt both the Rage that Inspired it..AND the Humor ya dealt with it with. In fact, I laughed WAY too much..but UN-PC Songs are among MY Personal Faves, & this one soared off-the-charts~!

So..No NITS.."KUDOS"..and let the Other "More-PC" Critics have their Goes at it. But like I said..this HAS Commercial Possibilities..tho the Dark Side of it might raise a few-to-many eyebrows. (But so did "Lizzie Borden" if I remember..& IT was a HIT!)

Good Luck with it..and all The Rest, too, Amigo!
Glad to See Ya Writing again~
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

#517149 06/29/07 03:04 PM
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Thanks Stan.
It flowed out like magic. I was singing it faster than i could write it. those ones always seem to sing the best. I'll post an mp3 with some help of my friends...



-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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#517154 06/29/07 03:17 PM
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Bix, I hope everything works out for you and that you will be okay. From one soldier to the next: stay safe, stay alert and stay focused. Hoo-RAH!!



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Hi Sofa,

This reminds me superficially of the serial killer Richard Bradford

http://crime.about.com/b/a/257060.htm

who photgraphed women, befriended them, then killed them and buried them in the deserts north of L.A....gruesome stuff...

The lyric is good, a typo in the bridge ("not" I think you meant "now")...this is like "Peaceful Easy Feeling" turned on its head, with an edgy, perhaps untrustworthy narrator doing the talking.

The bridge has a little mystery in it:

"Not i cleaned up that mess and i'm moving on
no body really misses her since she's been gone
i made the world better, though I may be wrong
that's why instead of doing it i wrote this song"

--instead of "doing it"...doing it cannot refer to her death...so I'm guessing the singer's own suicide is being contemplated there.

The bridge feels too revealing, a confession, and the voice and tone seems really different than the one everywhere else...JMO...

Intense...something I could hear Nine Inch Nails performing.

Best wishes,
Mike

Last edited by closemike; 06/29/07 05:15 PM.

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smile

Yes, may offend some, but it is sufficiently tongue in cheek to keep that faction down to a small group of dour garlic eaters with body odour that overcomes their breath...


If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop

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Hey Sofa!

I just sang the chorus to the tune of "Oh, my darlin Clementine." OOh - quite intense!

Charlann

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Hey Steve

this one kicks butt!!!

will listen to the mp3's you sent me this weekend.

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Hey Sofe,
That a make-shift sofa you're reclining on there? Man, I felt like I was at the Friday night FRights reading this sucker. Glad you backed off at the end!

What the heck is a "moern?" (to that moern ghost towns flashing light)

Definitely different. I could see this as a spoken song, with Vincent Price on vocals.

Ben
PS Just hit me...were you meaning "moDern"?

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Dave,

Thanks for the support. Ohh rah back atcha. thanks for your read and comments.

-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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Mike,

Thanks for reading into it. Did i mis phrase that last line? i truely intended to say i didn't kill her. The rest of the song however, says something else. heaven help me if my exwife ever ends up missing.. i am the ONLY suspect. She is the basis for almost every angry song i have ever written. you were correct on your assumptions of my fat fingered typing. it is "now" and i will fix it.

Thanks again..
-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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John,

I have given up on trying not to offend. thank you for reading, and commenting. I found that there are people are offended at my very existance. reguardless of if i write anything or not. Those people have their own radio shows to watch. their silent protest shall be not to buy my cd's... which is fine... I don't WANT them to hear my songs. Cheers

-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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Charlann,

Thank you for reading and commenting, i had an oak ridge boys minimalized music type of chorus in mind. where the snap of a hand clap keeps time. "theres a hole out(clap) inthe desert(clap) something like that. i am glad i can be intense, and that i am accepted for it.

-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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Rittman,

I think i need to change the Title. the original chorus ended with (the hole that was big enough for you) my ex, although overweight would easily fit into some of the biggest holes i know of in the desert, so as i typed, i changed my mind because then it might be construed that i like to kill big women. which was not the idea at all. That is my way of saying Thanks for the read,and comments. i'll record it as soon as i am done doing up Stan's song

-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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Ben,

If you are referring to my avatar, i am in a 5 dollar folding chair, but i can't see it, according to my computer, my avatar never changed. so i still see me with that silly tye dye turbine on my head. I am really not a violent person. but i have this crazy imagination. the movie casino helped me visualize this. i had to back off. i am almost certain i am not a cold blooded killer. you caught yet another fat finger mistake. you are correct it is supposed to be modern. I will fix that. Thanks for reading, and Replying.

-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=718667
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Hey My avatar just changed... cool


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=718667
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OK Steve, maybe call it, Hole In The Desert...and with a little satire you can have:?

there's a hole out, in the desert
on second thought there may be quite a few
but the one you, should be concerned with
is the hole in the desert i'm digging for you
hole in the desert
you're so oh so lovable
hole in the desert
I went through all this trouble
hole in the desert
make yourself comfortable
pause....hole in the desert
----my love is true
I made it just for you
....hole in the desert

ok a little long, but you get the idea...



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RITT,

good Idea.

-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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cool !!!

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Ok Steve, Thanks for another laugh here. Humor is always good, even if it's a little gruesome. I guessed that you didn't dump her in the hole yet, but, figured out that you regret that. LOL Ida

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Hi Steve,

First of all, I hope you're doing well !
Liked the song.
Nice story !

Take care.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

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Idamarie,

Thank you for your read and post. I guaruntee that she is still alive... Although life would be easier if she weren't I could see my son when i got back from war without a court order. raise him to be a man. i get a knot in my stomach when i think about it. i have been divorced for almost 8 years and she still makes me this angry.

-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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Calvin,

Good to see you stopped by for a look see. thank you for your kind words about my write. I hope the music i have in mind helps it out. i guess i'll find out in a couple of days.

take care
-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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Originally Posted by Sofa King Bixby

Thanks for reading into it. Did i mis phrase that last line? i truely intended to say i didn't kill her.


It does sound like she died:

Now i cleaned up that mess and i'm moving on
no body really misses her since she's been gone
i made the world better, though I may be wrong
that's why instead of doing it i wrote this song

but that the singer either 1) killed her himself and contemplated suicide here:

Now i cleaned up that mess and i'm moving on
no body really misses her since she's been gone
i made the world better, though I may be wrong
that's why instead of doing it i wrote this song

OR "instead of doing it" combined with "she's been gone" means 2) someone else killed her...

At least two valid interpretations, by my count, imo...

Take care,
Mike




Last edited by closemike; 06/30/07 05:37 PM.

Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
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Hey Steve!

It's amazing the things you can come up with when you're where you are!

I was thinking about your lyric & had a thought. It seems some folks are getting the wrong idea from your chorus. Maybe, instead of saying
Quote
is the hole in the desert i'm digging for you
you could say is the hole in the desert i'm digging for the memory of you?

Just a thought, keep or sweep!

Charlann

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Ieeeeeeee.....yikes. I like Charlann's suggestion of modifying the hook a bit.


"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Hi Steve,

This is alittle too dark for my tastes. Sorry pal. I know you are angry about your situation and it's easy for me to sit here and sound all Kum-by-ahish (sp.?) but as hard as it is you have to let that anger go, it will eat you alive. Do what's right on your part and give it to prayer. Your son will also sense that anger even at a young age and that's not what you want. They watch our every move and take it all in. If you need to seek legal channels for any custody then do so but let the anger go, for it doesn't help you or your son or your situation at all. I wish you well. God Bless you.

Best,
Lynn

Last edited by Lynn Orloff; 06/30/07 08:08 PM.

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Mike,

My intention was to lead the listener into believing i killed her until the last possible line. perhaps i waited too long. thanks for clearing that up i'll have another look at it before i start to lay down tracks.

-steve


"sing along little hotties in those wet t-shirts" -Tricia "angel" Baker


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Charlann,

My intention was to make people believe the singer killed her. at least up until the last line. it is dark, but i tried to control it. by showing an honest attept to reconcile things. Thanks for comming back.


-steve



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Tricia,


I know, i know how can i possibly have written something this ugly? But like i said, it was therapy, it made me feel better and i didn't end in in the "chair" for it. cheers my friend, thank you for your read and comments.

-steve


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Lynn,

You are Sweet. I figured it would be a little dark. I do my best to do the right thing. and if you know me by now, i almost let people walk over me, but i push back, and i carry anger. i never let anger go.


-steve


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Sure you can let go of your anger, Darlin'. You just buried it in a hole in the desert by writing this song. She ain't worth hatin'! Now there's another hook for ya. Idamarie

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Hi,

Oh me, oh my....is my reaction. I'm wondering who you would sing this to...

Kristi


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Idamarie,

it is possible that she isn't worth hating. heck i just want to not have to talk to her ever again... except she has my son, and says i can't visit him upon my return from iraq. she is the devil. i am sure of it.
thanks for your return and new hook.

-steve


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Hey Kristi,

Thanks for taking the time to read and post. I wrote this specifically for my ex. BUUTTT i think it is a useful song to anybody that thinks "being an ass is okay" .

obviously not a slow dance with your lover type song... he he he
have a good day
-steve


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Hi Steve... smile I'm thinking the craftsmanship is good...!! as far as someone performing it?, would it go over better with
more tongue/cheek humor? After the Ohio murder of wife and
2-weeks short of birth baby she was carrying..this one hit
me between the eyes... smile pretty scarey piece..... smile

You take good care over there..
hugs, smile smile
Kaley





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Hi Steve,

I can feel the pain. The problem with suggesting murder, even in song, is people are going to take you seriously. I went through a lot of problems with my first wife, over our daughter. I worked at a recycling yard at the time where we would dig big holes on the property and bury stuff. I told my boss he better fill the hole in quick because I was getting bad ideas. Sound familiar? I have found ways, over the years, to get over the hate. Some things I will never forgive, but living with hate lets evil win. I think this is one of those, if you keep it, you keep for you.


Have a goodun,

John W. Selleck BMI Songwriter
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Kaley

Thanks for your read and comment on this one. It is Scarey,but i never meant to hit you between the eyes with it. I have put some thought into what the masses may think. As i may have told you before, i got tied in with the Haditha Massacre last year with a song i co-wrote called Hadji Girl. (you can look it up, it is all over the place, and apparently web sites don't go stale) I was one of a few questioned in reguards to my hand in Haditha, and it turns out that not only have i never been there, but the song has nothing to do with it at all. My point was i got bad press, World wide Bad press. A terrorist organization called CAIR started it, and it made it around the world in a day or so. where as all my pretty songs haven't sparked an article in the local musical events papers. my song was on CNN MSNBC Fox News and listed in the associated press. my point? Bad songs go farther than good songs. every body talks about them, and that is called "Buzz". I thought about it, and i believe that there is no such thing as bad press. people may HATE my song, they will disspell it at the dinner table, and forbid their kids from ever buying another one of my cd's... now i am sought after by the young rebellous kids. i become the dark secret, and a problem with the world.. instead of a salution. having effectivly sold my soul for infamy.

Honestly, this isn't for the masses, but for my own healing, (as was Hadji Girl) i have no plans on making this public, but wanted to share it with all of you. i have no intention on selling my soul, or become public enemy #1. have a good day.

-steve

Last edited by Sofa King Bixby; 07/02/07 02:40 AM.

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John,

You are sooo right, as i mentioned with Ms. Willow. People do take these things seriously. But they go about it the wrong way. name the last 3 celebs you said you didn't want your kids to grow up like. and then look at the cover of People magazine. oh my! it's those same people... how did that happen? I would be grilled over the fire though, because of my history as a marine. hence my screen name. I'll keep this, and will lay down some tracks, but i doubt it will make it onto my next albulm, unless my a&r guy says it needs to be. i would prefer to do fun ubeat songs... your story is wayy too familiar. we could start a club. we have some of the same history... my issue is, this problem keeps comming back, and i have been divorced for 8 years from her. have a good one...

-steve


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Steve,
My usually peaceful mind has now had a sinister vision of how to solve an over a decade long problem I've had, where's that glove of OJ's? MJ

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Hey Moker,

Doesn't it ever hurt almost too much to be the "good Guy" and get walked all over? I think a lot of "good guys" are running around out there wondering if anybody else thinks the same way they do... (or in my case do other people blow something completely out of proportion) he he he have a good day

-steve


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Hi Steve

Well, I have to admit that this made me smile a little and I would never consider myself a dangerous type. Guess I just took it as a joke. I'm thinking perhaps you can work it up in a third person approach. Maybe give the characters names even. Just a thought. smile jm


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Hey Sofa,
I liked it. I've written a few in the same vein myself and I love black humor. As far as the anger goes, write about it and it will eventually dissipate.
Good one,
Rick

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Hey Joice,

Thanks for stopping by. I would never consider you the dangerous type for smiling at black humor. I had a belly laugh at it when i got the first verse and chorus on paper. I thought about third person, i really have, but it seems less personal. I wanted it to be "this is my song to you". i wanted there to be no doubt that she was the one i was singing to... he he he

have a great day
-steve


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RICK,

I figured the anger would dissapate too. just about that time she pulls something else. and it starts over again. i may be wrong, but i like to see the world in the dark light i have cast. angry songs get my blood pumping. i am sure other people feed of that energy too. i suppose the question is "does working that anger out by listening to angry songs actually get that anger out?

-steve


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Hey Steve,

Was getting ready to hit the hay, when a quick scan down Page One landed me here.

First, let me add my utter appreciation for dark humor. I suppose that makes me an easy audience for this one, but there's nothing to be done... blush

So I was wondering, am I mis-reading your post, or are you actually in Iraq now? If it were not for your earlier situation with your other "political" song, there might have been some opportunities to channel some of that experience into the song. But since it seems you've already had your share of infamy, introducing anything even remotely military-ish probably wouldn't be the best idea...

But on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, the song also made me think of that old ditty:

"There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza
There's a hole in the bucket dear Liza a hole.

"With what do you fix it dear Henry, dear Henry
With what do you fix it, dear Henry with what? etc.

This might be a fun way to have some sort of "conversation", talking instead about the "hole in the Desert", my darling, my darling", so you could get some real tongue-in-cheek action going.

I don't know if I've made any sense here...one of my first attempts at chiming in. But at the very least, let me know when you get working on that hole; my broken arm might prevent me from helping you DIG it, but I have at least a couple of "things" I could help you fill it with wink.

Keep your clever head down,
Beth

P.S. The only "anger" comment I'll offer falls squarely in the "take it or leave it" category. I have been accused of being an angry person--particularly in the area you discuss--a physical impossibility to forgive and forget people who have done me (or a loved one wrong). But one day, I guess shortly after I started failing health-wise, that I figured out I have only a certain amount of energy to spend on the things I WANT to spend it on. So to let someone whom I "dislike", shall we say, sap me of this much-needed energy, suddenly struck me as letting him win. So I'm not saying I've let it ALL go...but anyway, let me get off my soapbox.

Thanks for the song, sorry for my loooong post!





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Beth,

Glad You stopped by. I only post some of my most favorite writes on the threads, and i love to converse via the threads.

Dark energy attracts some of the most interesting comments. i usually write pretty little songs. but angry ones seem to make longer impressions. If i record this, i'll email you a copy. (power has been out at the barracks, so i can't even see good enough to get my socks and boots off. but maybe tonight, i'll get to it. I am indeed in Iraq, and am surrounded by iraqineese people. i was singing it like a standaard oakridge boys chorus. but i liked the idea of the hole in my bucket.

i will for the moment avoid any thing military realted (funny or not) for the purpose of keeping a low profile. (that one fell out of control br=efore we even knew it was on line) you may help fill my hole with anything you wish to never see again.
just follow the directions in the song... he he he

i think i get what you are saying about anger... I am about as easy to get along with as anybody i know. but i can harbor some real rage.

take care, Beth and relax... breath in breath out
-steve
p.s.
you can write as long as you want on my posts


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Good golly Steve,

Funny you should talk about different sorts of posts eliciting different sorts of reactions; of all things, this response of yours made me cry. Anger turned inwards begets depression, and I can see how your situation would be amenable to both. I hope you are keeping a journal -- which you can use at your discretion upon your safe return. Do you know -- or are you allowed to disclose -- when your tour is over?

I must admit I'm equally distressed and intrigued by your circumstances. Growing up, I was exposed only to the "glamorous" side of the military; both my parents are Acting Colonels in the Air Force, as members of the Society of Illustrators who would present paintings to the Air Force) and every year we'd go down to D.C. for these big black tie affairs where they'd make the presentations of the artwork and we'd hobnob with all the Generals. We had our oown house on the base (Bolling), and threw rocks into the Potomac. Not quite the same version you're experiencing, I suspect...

So anyway, glad you liked the "hole in the bucket" angle. I also was thinking of that other children's song:

"There was a hole (there was a hole)
In the middle of the ground (In the middle of the ground)
The biggest hole (the biggest hole)
That you ever did see (that you ever did see)

And the green grass grows all around (all around)
And the green grass grows all around." etc.

Remember that one? Then you add the tree, and the branch and the nest and the bird, etc? THAT could be fun too.

In the meantime, thank you for your gracious offer to share your hole's accomodations (anything like a bunkerhole?)

Alright, dude, need to go get lunch for the kiddos. We're up at my parent's beachhouse in Maine for a two-week vacation (I know, tough tour as someone suggested...)...and when I get back down to the beach this afternoon I'll turn southeast(?) and send positive thoughts -- musical and otherwise -- in your direction.

Hang in there, and yes, please, if you get a chance to record this, by all means send me a copy.

And if possible, try to squeeze some fun in there too! Maybe one day we can compare tans!!

Beth

P.S. Just thought of another song idea...brought to mind by your comment about your boots. Maybe you could do a spoof on "These boots are made for walking"...though now that I think about it, you'd probably get in trouble. But hey, what can they do--send you to Iraq? SEE, the jokes on them!.....Later!


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Good golly Steve,

Funny you should talk about different sorts of posts eliciting different sorts of reactions; of all things, this response of yours made me cry. Anger turned inwards begets depression, and I can see how your situation would be amenable to both. I hope you are keeping a journal -- which you can use at your discretion upon your safe return. Do you know -- or are you allowed to disclose -- when your tour is over?

I must admit I'm equally distressed and intrigued by your circumstances. Growing up, I was exposed only to the "glamorous" side of the military; both my parents are Acting Colonels in the Air Force, as members of the Society of Illustrators who would present paintings to the Air Force) and every year we'd go down to D.C. for these big black tie affairs where they'd make the presentations of the artwork and we'd hobnob with all the Generals. We had our oown house on the base (Bolling), and threw rocks into the Potomac. Not quite the same version you're experiencing, I suspect...

So anyway, glad you liked the "hole in the bucket" angle. I also was thinking of that other children's song:

"There was a hole (there was a hole)
In the middle of the ground (In the middle of the ground)
The biggest hole (the biggest hole)
That you ever did see (that you ever did see)

And the green grass grows all around (all around)
And the green grass grows all around." etc.

Remember that one? Then you add the tree, and the branch and the nest and the bird, etc? THAT could be fun too.

In the meantime, thank you for your gracious offer to share your hole's accomodations (anything like a bunkerhole?)

Alright, dude, need to go get lunch for the kiddos. We're up at my parent's beachhouse in Maine for a two-week vacation (I know, tough tour as someone suggested...)...and when I get back down to the beach this afternoon I'll turn southeast(?) and send positive thoughts -- musical and otherwise -- in your direction.

Hang in there, and yes, please, if you get a chance to record this, by all means send me a copy.

And if possible, try to squeeze some fun in there too! Maybe one day we can compare tans!!

Beth

P.S. Just thought of another song idea...brought to mind by your comment about your boots. Maybe you could do a spoof on "These boots are made for walking"...though now that I think about it, you'd probably get in trouble. But hey, what can they do--send you to Iraq? SEE, the jokes on them!.....Later!


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Hi Steve,
I finally had to stop by and see what the uproar was all about. Well deserved uproar !!.,
Heck no, you can't please everybody. Nobody can. Anyway, what kind of a world would it be if you could? We're getting to be too much "cookie cutter copies" anyway IMO.
Well any song requires that you get the reader-listener's attention first and you did that.. I just skimmed the other comments lightly. I thought it was enough tongue in cheek that he coulda' got by with killin' her, but the twist is probably better.
Overall, I liked it, though naturally everyone won't.
Stay safe
Wy

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