I got Fruity Loops and got a little (ok a lot) fruity with it. To make a long story short no real instruments were harmed in the making of this song. Everything was done electronically. Well except my voice which I'm not happy with. I've tried several harmonies but have settled on the 'sailing part'. Any suggestions would be most welcome.

It's on my Myspace page. http://www.myspace.com/danstravelingband
The words (for those of you who like to sing along)

I'm sailing on a Frozen Sea
by Dan Monk

The sea is throwing daggers at my face and at my knees
the sky looks down so solemn, so grim and then it speaks
It tells its tale of winter, I dream of Mozambique
I'm sailing on a frozen sea.

My daddy longed to sail away but he never left the dock.
My momma sings a sad song it echos from the rocks.
The sea is looking hard now I think I could have walked
I'm sailing on a frozen sea.

Still life water color waves
paint a picture so cold.
Salt spray in my hair
I think it's frozen there
I'm sailing on a frozen sea.

I see a stranger smiling in the mirror beside my boat
reflection of my destiny strangely it gives me hope.
My section of eterenity where I'll forever float
I'm sailing on a frozen sea.

One nit, Dan:

ICICLES HANGING there
I'm sailing on a frozen sea.

Icicles? I don't see any of Tricia's icicles, but I'm kind of vague on the lyrics anyway. Sorry, Dan, I know you are trying to say something, but other than being cold, or maybe escaping to freedom?....er...don't get it.

-Jeff

nice line Tricia, I like that, thanks.

Hey Jeff, what are you sorry about, the fact that you don't understand the lyrics or I didn't make them clear enough for you?

Well, lyrics aren't always supposed to be crystal clear. Especially when you seem to be working through a metaphor. I just meant that although I didn't understand your picture ... somebody else might.

I can't pick apart the differences between this one and version #1, but my gut instinct says this one is working better.

I kinda like the strings in there. Might turn down the percussion a little bit? Seems a little forward... but I'm listening from laptop speakers, so don't give that too much weight!

I like the metaphor, and it carries all the way through. Whether it's understandable to everyone or not doesn't matter so much as that it's consistent, which it is now.

Good work!

Linda

thanks Linda, I appreciate it. I'll listen a little closer to the bongos, they may be too loud. Thanks again.

Hey Jeff, sorry for not getting back to you sooner, appreciate your reply. That helped clarify things for me. Thanks.