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EDIT: Remix to lower acoustic guitars - Saturday 5/26 1:30 pm This ones a little different for me. As I don't have kids, I'm writing outside myself a little Would appreciate comments and suggestions on any aspect on the rough mix. The song is Continental Divide and is at: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=377550&songID=5375834Lyric is below. Many thanks! Scott Continental Divide (c) 2007 by S. W. Campbell Her bags are packed I throw them in the back Of the old pick-up I’ve had since she was two I hear her laugh “Look at all the red signs, Dad Remember that time I painted them all blue?” Then she complains about the gray mid-western sky She’s already crossed the continental divide Bus station lot A homeless guy’s staked out his spot And she hands him a five as I frown Before I can speak She says, “Dad, he’s gotta eat” But I know that’s not where that money’s bound But it’s not in me to start a fight tonight Across a continental divide It’s said the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree But I guess sometimes it rolls on down the hill Once I believed she’d see the same things that I see Now I don’t think she ever will Inside it’s warm A soldier in his uniform Winks and wipes his hand across his brow I say, “He’s on your bus” She says “Dad, give it up You ought to know just who I am by now” But I see no anger, just compassion, in her eyes From across the continental divide And as she kisses me good-bye I know next time I’ll reach across the continental divide
Last edited by Scott Campbell; 05/26/07 04:38 PM.
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Scott, From what I have seen from you, I just have to say this...you have so much potential that, with a little bit of adjustment, you could be aiming right at the bullseye. I don't claim to be an expert, by any means. In fact, I just started Harriet Schock's songwriting course yesterday and will be so much more able to discern and separate out the good points from the not-so-good points very soon. If you haven't taken her course, you, of all people, should highly consider doing so. You have such a natural bent toward aesthetics.
You have some great tools for photography which have taught me so much in just a few. short weeks. Harriet has these same types of tools for songwriters. I am getting the biggest bang out of it. I'm already more aware of what I am doing as a songwriter only after a few days.
So, I will make a reference from the Big Book now..."Feed a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and he eats forever." Harriet is teaching me how to fish. It's a fun pond. Would love to have you join me. I'll even lend you a worm!
Heidi
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Hey Scott
I confess I've listened to this one several times now , trying to figure out who it reminded me of , and for the life of me I can't figure that out ...... it has a flavour of the group "Bread" in parts , but I'm sure it was closer to someone else (who I can't name LOL) . At any rate , it has a 70's "mellow ballad" feel -- which to me is a good thing (love that period) !
The build in the story/theme worked very well for me , as did the soft vocal and melody start - with the 2nd verse building by both . I thought the bridge could stand a touch more contrast than it received -- but the bridge lyrics were perfect , both as a summary statement reflecting the previous as well as a set-up for the concluding verse -- very well done !
If I had one nit , it would be the hook itself . It was beautifully delivered vocally , but it just didn't seem to carry a meaning to me that fitted the mood or theme in this milestone moment the song is about ..... but maybe it's just a phrase I'm not familiar with in this context .
After several listens the song lost nothing at all in terms of enjoyment levels - and that's certainly a positive !
I'd be curious to see what other have to say , but being the first song of yours I've heard - it will certainly make me return to hear others - you have many levels to your talent .
Don .
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Hey Heidi: Thanks! You've got me curious about the course - I'll check it out. I have only a general sense of where the bulls eye is, so anything that would make it come into better focus would be useful Scott
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Hey Don:
Thanks - some kind words there!
Good point about the bridge - the first and third lines use a different chord structure but the second and fourth revert back to the verse. Probably should change those two lines up a little...
As for the hook, I was shooting for moving beyond the geographical definition and using it as a metaphor for things that separate us from others. It has been used in the context of political polarization in the US and I was trying to tap into that on a personal level here. Might be a little bit of a stretch.
Many thanks for the comments!
Scott
Last edited by Scott Campbell; 05/24/07 07:59 PM.
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I read the lyrics first and I was impressed. There is a little Dixie Chick "Wide Open Spaces" theme going on. I got the same feeling as in these Dixie Chick lines.
As her folks drive away, her dad yells, "Check the oil!" Mom stares out the window and says, "I'm leaving my girl" She said, "It didn't seem like that long ago" When she stood there and let her own folks know She knows the high stakes
I was prepared to really like this song but I was disapointed in the music. It's hard to tell if it is because I "heard" someting entirely different in my mind before I listened or what. I do like the part of the song where you don't have words just open vowels. But the verses are not "realized". Somehow you are smothering your lines.
"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
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Hey Joe:
Thanks - glad the lyric worked for you. Yeah, I get some of the same feel when I read those lines as I did when I wrote this.
If any more thoughts come to you about why the music didn't work for you, feel free to add them. Something is not quite sitting right for me either, though mine may be more minor than yours. I feel pretty comfortable with the melody so it must be (for me) in the arrangement or performance.
Appreciate the comments....
Scott
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Classic Scott... what a great picture of their relationship you've painted here..Love it
http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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I had to ponder this one for awhile.Think it has a great story line.
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Hey Louis: Thanks - appreciate it. It required me to take bits and pieces of real people and work them into a relationship that I have no experience with - so it was an interesting experience for me... Hey Michael: Yeah, I strive to, but I can't do anything simple Glad you thought the story line worked! Thanks guys, Scott
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Well, I raised two daughters so I could relate. Nice that you resolved any conflict they may have had with the last verse
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Good song, I liked it a lot. It has a 'spirtual' quality that really brings out the poignancy of the lyrics. I wish I could do harmonies like that.
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Hi Scott,
Good work! You took a unique approach to the song. I dont think these are things I would think about if I had children.
The mix is pretty balanced within itself... Maybe less hi hat and more vocal. Maybe let the piano & vocal be the main driving force. Needs some low end too..
Hope all is well
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Well, I raised two daughters so I could relate. Kudos to you, Iggy for succeeding in what must be the hardest job on the planet As for resolving the conflict, that was never an issue. My intent was not to write about a dysfunctional relationship but more the typical case - where people work things out... Thanks for the listen - love your new tune! Scott
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Hey Dan: Thanks! I love working out harmony parts. Many times they come naturally. Sometimes though I have to play the chord progression and listen for the notes that are not in the melody - and then construct a harmony part from those... Hey Mike: Thanks for the suggestions on the mix - will get right on them. I think you have a point. Listened again to it and I'm thinking the acoustic guitar tracks are too loud in the mix. Might be contributing to the "smothering" that Joe mentioned. Work has been keeping me hopping lately but I finally just took a day off to record a new song - a mental health day We'll have to talk again soon! Scott
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I'm going to use you as a template for practicing the harmonica. You do it so well. Lot's of good things going on here. Harmonies work. I think Mike is right that this would be great driven by the piano and vocals.
Enjoyed it.
Rick
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Thanks Rick! Never been a template before I love to play the harp but haven't developed it like I would like. I can bend notes but I haven't been able to get that bluesy sound that I want - like on some of Terry's (arealrush) stuff. On the other hand, didn't need that for this song... Yeah, still trying to sort out the arrangement on this one. Many thanks for the comments and suggestion... Scott
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Wow Scott. I think you painted a very nice picture here. Very nice. Harmonies were great. Liked the melody alot. Good Job! Steve
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Splendid song Scott.Very mellow indeed and lots of interest with the musical and vocal variation throughout. Most enjoyable and well done!
Gerry
One for Heidi's big book: Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm forever;)
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Hello Gerry! Thanks for the fine addition to add to my big book! Scott, I know you won't mind my hijacking your thread for a moment, but I saw Don Rickles perform last night and Gerry's new quote reminded me of Don's humor. He told a story of how he had made love to a waitress who had a space in between her teeth. While they were being hot and heavy, she whistled. He didn't know if he had "schtuped her" or if he was making tea.
Thanks for the humor, Gerry. Scott, thanks for all that you do!
Heidi
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." Paul McCartney
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Hi Steve: Cool! Thanks! Hey Gerry: Thank-you too! Love your entry to the book - but I thought it was, "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day - teach him to fish and he'll disappear on the weekends" Hey Heidi: You can hijack any thread of mine any time you want I envy you getting to see Don Rickles. Saw him on the Daily Show a week or so ago and he was great. He was plugging his new book, which sounds very interesting.... Thanks again, everyone Scott
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I liked the feel and story line. "Rolling down the hill", after the apple/tree line! Unique thought. Also, you reaching across the Continental Divide! Clever, and gives an imaginative/exaggerated image. Lennon like. And, you have a cool sound, for sure.
I would be even more careful about the pitch of some words. Tough melody to sing though, with the range extending low. What is your peak high note? Did you hit it in this song? If not, and if you can go up a key,,,maybe consider using your peak note, then adjusting the key of the song with a capo.
John
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Scott,
Great story in your lyrics. I've raised a couple of crumb crushers, so I have a little experience with all of that. I like how you used the Continental Divide idea in so many ways. You are a true wordsmith. Almost all of your lyrics create indelible pictures for the mind. Greta story.
I'm not so sure about the production and arrangement. Can't really put my finger on it. But the harmonica is really nice! A little more piano would help, I think. It's probably just me, but something on the vocal mix just seemed off...not the quality of your voice...rather the mix, per se. It seemed a little muffled, garbled...something like that.
Wish I could be of more help with my observations. Great story, terrific lyrics...a little something not quite roght on the production. That's how it came across to me.
Enjoyed the song!
Alan
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Thanks Al: Appreciate the comments. Can't figure out what's going on here as I'm doing everything the way I usually do. But I hear it too... I'll keep experimentin' Glad the lyric worked for you! See ya, Scott
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Hey John: Missed your post earlier - ooops. Didn't expect there would be two new ones overnight Many thanks! I have no idea where that rollin' down the hill line came from - just popped into my head driving to work. I consider those to be gifts! This one, I actually chose the key sensibly - meaning I waited until I didn't have a cold I could go up half of a step and still hit the highest note but not a whole step. Probably not enough of a change to make much difference on the lower part. And going up half a step makes it hard to put a harmonica part in there. Guess I could pitch shift just that one track... Agree that it leaves much of the song on the low side. So either live with it, change the melody, shift a half step and see if that helps or get someone else to sing it. We'll see.... Thanks for listening! Scott
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Scotty,
I like the music and the chorus...didn't get into the verse lyrics too much...problem is with me...don't pay much attention to lyrics until the fourth or fifth time through...Dang, I hate that you are improving on electric so much (reduces the size of the co-lab window) Yeah, maybe a little more up-front with the piano...
tom
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Hey Tom: Glad you're back! Still playing with the mix - will look at the piano some more Thanks for the listen. Ha - my guitar playing will ALWAYS leave space open for collabs See ya, Scott
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Hey Scott,
Yep, it's working. Sounds like a Dylan song to begin it, then goes along in your own style. Oh....b/v's sort of hit ya !, pull em down a bit in the mix ? I would like to hear some picking in here just to drive it along, otherwise, good work.
cheers, niteshift
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Thanks Niteshift... Yeah, I know I tend to overdo the harmony vocals I'll play around with the volume on them.... I spent a little time trying to come up with a picking part for the guitar that would work with the piano. Didn't find anything I was happy with - doesn't mean there isn't one though Appreciate the suggestions - thanks, Pal Scott
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Scott....I went in and listen to this again this morning....I listened 4 times I know the other day...I think I told you that....this time around I liked it as is.....you build it musically with your instrumentation additions....as you go....I do like it better when the bass kicks in....the first part piano is nice....but for me it is just something about it.....that bugs me....not in a bad way mind you....not sure....anyway overall listening again....I'm ok with this....I like the Oh..Oh..Oh... part....a 9.5 on that....the other harmony....7.0....lol....10.0 for style points....have a good day....I have an ice show competition to judge...lol....only kidding.....nice tune lyrically for sure with a nice sentiment attached......your delivery is good....Bob
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Hey Bob: I did a little remixing between the times you listened to it - maybe that's why it seems OK now I'm still trying to come up with a fingerpicking part to complement the piano in the first verse - no luck yet. Good luck on that ice show judging. I'll practice my triple axel for next time Thanks, my friend, Scott
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Hi Scott,
There are many things that I like about this song.... I love the "Continental Divide" metaphor; I picked up on the meaning instantly. "the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree But I guess sometimes it rolls on down the hill" is a terrific line - one of those that makes me think, "damn, I wish I had written that." Also, the way you add instrumentation keeps the music interesting. I have nary a nit.
Almost missed this one due to my absence. I had to go to the second page of songs to find it (which I rarely if ever do).
Clint
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Hey Clint: Great to see you back! Yeah, this one had its run - now back for one small appearance Thanks for your comments on this - as I told someone earlier, that line just popped into my head spontaneously - was a gift See ya Scott
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Don, you mentioned you were trying to figure out who it reminded you of. I'm hearing a little "Sentimental Lady" by Bob Welch.
Very easy to listen to. Nice Job.
Jake
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Thanks Jake - appreciate it.
Gonna try to chase that recording down - you got me curious.
See ya Scott
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hi scott
I thought this was pretty, I especially liked the keyboard work
ande
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Hey Scott,
Not much to offer in the way of a crit. I really like this. Fine writing. I gotta admit, I'm not totally jazzed by the hook. It's not drilling me like it should.
One other thing...I think there's a couple of spots where you can insert another syllable or 2, so as not to have to unnecessarily (in my view) hold the note, as in the line...
"And she haaaa-nds him a fiiii-ve as I frown" (quickie exmp.. She drops a five-spot on him as I frown
Ben
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Hey Ben: Thanks for the comments and suggestions. That specific line you indicated is on my radar too. Had "dollar" originally, which took care of the second part of the line, but it wasn't enough money. "Twenty" was too much. "Sawbuck" is out of date. "Lincoln" is probably too obscure. Didn't think of five-spot. Maybe.... Don't want to change the hook on this one so I'll probably have to live with the fact that it isn't super-strong. Part of the problem might be that it shows up in this context a lot in media but not much in people's everyday conversation. Thanks again for listening - your comments are on target.... Scott
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