I'm redoing the music so thought I should take another look at the lryics as well.

Maybe Mars
by Dan E. Monk

I've heard about love and how it's a war,
egos get bruised, hearts get torn.
After every battle the casualties climb,
this one's yours, that one's mine.

Maybe Mars is the planet of love
and not Venus like we thought.
Maybe Mars is all we've got.

Is love just a war to be lost or won,
the head a bomb, the heart a gun?
Never surrender with strategies clear,
is Cupids arrow something to fear?

Maybe Mars is the planet of love
and not Venus like we thought.
Maybe Mars is all we've got.

If you want to survive you have to be cruel,
but I'm so tired of fighting and I think you are too.
I'm looking for a lover who won't tell me the truth

that maybe Mars is the planet of love
and not Venus like we thought.
Maybe Mars is all we've got.

If love is a war then with all respect
my conscience and I we both object.
I'll keep the peace here in my neutral zone,
pray I don't have to stay here alone

but maybe Mars is the planet of love
and not Venus like we thought.
Maybe Mars is all we've got.

Hi Dan,

The singer entertains the idea that love might be war, then mentions bruised egos, torn hearts, and the "battle score" to clarify with these examples.

This sets up the (imo) problematic chorus which suggests that Mars, in this topsy-turvy world, may be the planet of love, and that Mars "is all we got".

I'm imagining what the singer is trying to say here is that love and war are inseperable, that you can't have one without the other, that Mars DOUBLES as the planet of love as well as the planet of war, and lastly and belatedly, that he doesn't like this situation.

I'm sure the singer has fun stretching out that third line, but it's hard to use Venus and Mars metaphorically by stretching science in the process. It is unclear to the listener what has happened to Venus, even at the metaphorical level. The singer is asking the listener to entertain the possibility that Venus doesn't exist ("maybe Mars is all we got"), and it's imo a bit clunky sounding.

"Is love just a war to be lost or won,
the head a bomb, the heart a gun?
Never surrender with strategies clear,
is Cupids arrow something to fear?"

This verse has some strong points. I love the singer's humble tone. I really like the 4th line which has the most striking image in the whole song, reminding me that Cupid himself uses an arrow!

"If you want to survive you have to be cruel,
but I'm so tired of fighting and I think you are too.
I'm looking for a lover who won't tell me the truth"

But that wouldn't be love, just the absence of honesty--which might not hurt as much, but is not to be mistaken with love--iow your singer isn't looking for love, but the absence of war--and it makes your singer sound a little cowardly, afraid to face the pain that comes with this relationship. Does facing the problems in this relationship have to mean war? I think your singer would soon realize that "avoidance" did not solve his problem either, and that he was just wishing for some rest. So in other words, your third line (of your bridge, is it?) doesn't convey what you're aiming for, imo.

"If love is a war then with all respect
my conscience and I we both object.
I'll keep the peace here in my neutral zone,
pray I don't have to stay here alone"

More war imagery as metaphor--a play on "conscientious objector", neutral zone...not bad--maybe a couple unnecessary words, but almost there...At least in your verses you have good examples that sell your idea of how love is war; that the singer finds it repugnant comes out strongly in the last verse, which means those earlier questions may not have been asked innocently, but to get the listener thinking, kind of a protest song strategy.

I would first ask myself what I was trying to say in the chorus, and secondly what is the advantage to saying it exactly in that way, and if you come up with good reasons, then by all means keep it--maybe you'll sell me on down the line!

Best wishes,
Mike

Hi Dan

I like this, I think one has to see the subtle humor in metaphors
to really appreciate the singers dilemma. I remember when at the moment of parting, my ex asked what I would be doing, to witt I replied I'm gonna find me a woman who is deaf dumb and blind, clearly insinuating that love with all its broken promises sucked. Now of course I didn't mean it, and I feel the singer is half kidding when he says I'm looking for a lover who won't tell me the truth. I think the subtle humor is backed well in the bridge If love is a war then with all respect
my conscience and I we both object.
I'll keep the peace here in my neutral zone,
pray I don't have to stay here alone

pray I don't have to stay here alone

puts this piece in a nutshell for me. The singer inheritantly knows that love comes with entanglements, and if he's not willing to accept that, then alone is all he'll ever get. So in
short I see this piece as a couple trying to avoid love for the fear of the consequences, but they both know better...

The verse normally feeds the hook, there is no mention of planets, solar system even astrology....the planets come out of no where...guess I'm being too literal.
Neil

Hi Dan

I really enjoyed the read and the perspective. Heck the scientists just demoted Pluto to not being a real planet and they are continually adding new heavenly bodies to the list of infuences. Why not question the inconsistencies?... I think that's what I like most about this that you are questioning the standards of what "they", in this case those who study the stars, believe to be true. I like a lot about this.

And closemike!!!!, I love reading your analysis, they are great points that you make!, but here's a good example of a song lyric that can be questioned and still enjoyed. I hope to hear the music for this and alot more of your commentaries. You have been missed. jm

Dan, thanks for sharing this one. jm

well it could be me, but I don't see where Vernus not existing even enters the picture; saying maybe Mars is all there is, is just a figure of speech, as in if Venus ain't all it's cut out to be, and love Venus style is overrated, than it could be that Mars with all it's conflicts regarding love, is all there is. Not that Venus as a planet no longer exists, but rather Venus as the so called planet of love, where love is a bed roses, is fictitious at best.

Hey Rittman,

Do you prefer Richard now--let me know

Anyway, I mention in an earlier statement that I understand how Dave intended the use of "...all we got..."

"I'm imagining what the singer is trying to say here is that love and war are inseperable, that you can't have one without the other, that Mars DOUBLES as the planet of love as well as the planet of war, and lastly and belatedly, that he doesn't like this situation."

...but went on to express that I thought it was an inarticulate way of saying what he meant to say. It leaves room for misinterpretation. A figure of speech? Well, yeah...perhaps, but you don't hear "____ is all we got" too often...maybe "all you need is love" is in the same ball park...which would make a nice setup, come to think of it, for Dave's line 3 as in:

____is all we need,
and ____is all we got.

iow

"...all we got..." seems to be asking to be set up with a prior line which brings into play the difference between "what we need" and "what we have"...

I still think jumping to the Mars/Venus pairing is not set up in the verses, where sticking with love/war makes what Dan is trying to say much stronger.

Certainly Mars is the "god of war" and we all know that; there is no other impetus for going there in the song, imo, however.

Mike

*********************
Hi Joice Marie, I'll try to drop in when I can. Miss you too!

Hei Hei Mike

more than anything, at this point I'm curious as to what Dan has to say. Interestingly I've worked with composers who like lyrics that have disconnects, claiming many artists like U2 and Dave Matthews, use "spacial" lyrics, to allow for a dreamy, out of body type experience for the listener. I don't recall what U2 song it was, but I remember thinking for a popular song the lyrics basically say nothing, and don't really follow a discernable pattern yet still kept me interested,, but yanno with Bono singing with that ever present emotional tinge, and that great band backing him up, I couldn't help but enjoy the song, though I couldn't tell you what it was about...the point being, if you can keep a song vaguely interesting, somehow it can work, regardless of the particulars...oh and rittman or ritt is still prefered...our mentor Brian asked if we could use our real names, claiming that nicks had far outlived their usefullness, not a quote but therabouts, anyhoo, I figured I'd give it a try...

Actually I'm a little dumbfounded. To be truthfull I thought the lyrics were pretty plain, even obvious. I've written stuff a lot more vague. Closemike had some interesting points but in your original critique you were pretty much spot on with what I am trying to say. Interesting exchange however, I have learned some things I wil put to good use.


And thank you Joice for your kind words, glad you liked it.

Oh and Neil, ya you are being a bit too literal. However, the phrase - 'the planets come out of nowhere' may soon be in a song.