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#497600 - 04/29/07 01:16 AM Just When I Need Him  
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Louis Offline
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seems like I been working on this one since about 1980.. I've written 3 or 4 from this one, so tried to finish the original today.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=100639&songID=5287333


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#497607 - 04/29/07 01:23 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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Rick Norton Offline
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Only since 1980? This song is still a baby. Nice arpeggio guitar. Very relaxing tune.

Rick

#497677 - 04/29/07 10:54 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Rick Norton]  
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Louis Offline
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thanks rick, yeah maybe I should shelve it for awhile longer smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#497716 - 04/29/07 12:41 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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Man, that was pretty Louis. Love the guitar...

Why've you been sitting on this one so long? grin

Scott

#497718 - 04/29/07 12:43 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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Louis Offline
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thanks Scott, everytime I would play with it I would get another idea for a different song, lol. Re-wrote all the lyrics, cept the chorus, yesterday. smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#497744 - 04/29/07 01:40 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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This is gentle and touching....Louis... It touched me today...

best to you with hugs.....
Kaley smile

#497789 - 04/29/07 03:08 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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Hey Louis,

Relaxing and inspirational.

The capo comes in handy at times.

Nice work, I enjoyed listening,

Martin / Accel

#497791 - 04/29/07 03:09 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Accelerator]  
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Louis Offline
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Kaley, thanks, left ya a message on your board. smile

Accel, thanks, yeah I used a capo, scratched my guitar again.. smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#498020 - 04/30/07 01:47 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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Pretty guitar, simple lyrics, and a lyric that I can totally relate to Louis. He's always there for me too. Written in 1980 and you can still say the same thing today. Isn't it nice to know you'll be able to say the same about Him in another 2 decades and beyond as well. Heartfelt and beautiful.

Best,
Lynn


My Music at Soundclick
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=788266

~call it a blessing or call it a curse, but I see all of life in verse~

Always open to collaborations smile

God Bless Our Military!!!
#498027 - 04/30/07 01:59 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Lynn Orloff]  
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Another great song,a real honest tune as always.This would sound cool with a cello and a flute

#498236 - 04/30/07 05:19 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Michael James Moore]  
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Thanks Lynn.
Michael, yeah I'll play with the key some and it would be nice if I could get my daughter to play flute too. smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#498589 - 05/01/07 02:37 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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niteshift Online content
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Hey Louis,

A touching and heart felt song. Nice composition and mellow delivery, very relaxing.

cheers, niteshift

#498664 - 05/01/07 07:24 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: niteshift]  
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Louis Offline
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Hey thanks Geoff, I'm in th middle of changing it again smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#498704 - 05/01/07 08:56 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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Very relaxing and heartfelt. Simple is good!
I second the vote for cello and flute.

If you're changing it... might be cool to put in a couple of concrete examples of things He's done and times He's been there for you. Just a thought!

My 13-yr old daughter was listening and put in the observation, "but Mom, he's a man..." smile I explained "CHRISTIAN Country, dear!" and she said "I thought so... but there are songs out there... uh..."

Not to pop any balloons, but I try to throw the Name in there at least once if I can when I write Christian songs... to make sure there's no confusion. wink

Have a good day! I wrote my first song around 1980. It hasn't showed up on the boards yet. It was a wedding song.

Linda

#498732 - 05/01/07 10:14 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Linda Sings]  
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Thanks Linda, I'm re-doing the whole thing, raising it up and practicing relaxing when I sing, I changed some words too. Still don't mention any names though smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#498758 - 05/01/07 11:39 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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I wouldn't worry too much about the names. I knew what it was all about! Just thought it was funny to hear her impression!
You sound relaxed to me.
I have a LOT of trouble with that too--if the recorder's going!
Linda

#498794 - 05/02/07 12:45 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Linda Sings]  
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thanks Linda, ending up changing it.. I think I'm finally finished, uploaded the new version, if anybody wants to hear it, I'd be tinkled pink smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#498863 - 05/02/07 05:18 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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I'll check tomorrow if I get a minute!
Linda

#498911 - 05/02/07 12:33 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Linda Sings]  
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Louis....I really like the guitar....you have a relaxing quality in your vocal delivery....I've told you this before....this is very nice Louis....I think I listened to the old version...I'll check the other one out too....bob

#499118 - 05/02/07 08:20 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Robert Pickens]  
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Thanks Linda, hope you get time
T-Bob, where ya been? Appreciate you listening. smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#501147 - 05/07/07 10:47 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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louis,
how true the words are in your lovely song. thank you for sharing.

#501175 - 05/07/07 11:41 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: janice green]  
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Louis Offline
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thanks Janice, I'm listening to "colby's spirit running free" very very nice tune, you singing? See your in ark, I used to live up in Conway smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#501578 - 05/09/07 01:21 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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Hey Louis:

Just noticed you made some changes. You've probably had 5 versions up while I was sleeping grin

Hey, this sounds really sweet - lyric changes are improvements, in my opinion. Nice job.

Scott



#501647 - 05/09/07 09:13 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Scott Campbell]  
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Louis Offline
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Scott, you snooze you lose.. lol.. thanks man. smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#501655 - 05/09/07 10:16 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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I like the music. It sounds like you capoed up one fret and played in Am. Is that what you did?

The medody is compelling. I think you need to introduce a third verse or a new idea- in a bridge perhaps. The first and second verse are saying about the same thiing but I do like the line about "no more empty rooms are left inside of me in the first one. If you can get another interesting line in the second verse, it would help.

I notice you said, "Just when I need God the most" and ..."Him rhe most" at other times. I think it would be better to leave the word God out because it is already implied so it kind of like painting an arrow on a painting to let us know where the subject is. It isn't necessary and it detracts form the picture.

I think it would be interesting to see if you can find a biblical phrase to use somewhere in this song. It needs something in the lyric to give us a "wow" feeling. Right now, it is plesant but I just know intuiatively, it can be much better.


"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
#501788 - 05/09/07 04:28 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Samuel Harris]  
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Hello Louis, very nice job. Love the music-very relaxing. We seem to have in common the tendency to take a while to finish these songs. I wrote a lot in high school and college but due to a corporate career, put it all on hold. I've dusted a few off, and have written new stuff as well.

ps loved the guitar work

Jake

#501930 - 05/09/07 09:32 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: JakeWhalen]  
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Joe, I tell ya, that signature of yours has been running thru my brain all day.. If I could come up with one line like that.. then I log on and see your very useful critique. appreciate that.. some very good ideas for sure.. this song has had 2 different bridges, that both turned into songs of their own. A biblical phrase might work great.. I'm definately gonna keep trying with your suggestions. also need to say something different on the 2nd line of the chorus I think. I tuned the guitar down to A# I think. smile

Hey Jake, yep sometimes it takes me forever smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#501948 - 05/09/07 10:19 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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Louis,
Good job, guitar picking & message!
Sometimes a little re-write, maybe a change up in the chorus (or whatever) can do musical wonders for an emerging tune.

Also, possibly a line change, as Joe suggested, maybe quoting
or paraphrasing a verse from the Bible, etc.

Keep it up!
Michael


There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. -- Johann Sebastian Bach

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#501973 - 05/09/07 11:07 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Michael Borges (D)]  
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Louis Offline
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Hey thanks Michael, working on it now.. Man this ones tough..


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#501990 - 05/09/07 11:49 PM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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Sounds good--there's gotta be a Bible verse somewhere that's just perfect--don't have one coming to me at the moment, but if I hit on one I'll pop it in here.

I liked the second take too. I didn't notice a whole lot of differences right away, but I have a LOT of NOISE in the house at this time of day (kids all home from school!) so... take that into consideration. smile

Some songs are tougher than others, that's the truth!
Amy Grant wrote a song with these lines: "It's not a song till it tears you apart..."

Ha. She was right!

Linda

#502009 - 05/10/07 12:31 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Linda Sings]  
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Linda " Amy Grant wrote a song with these lines: "It's not a song till it tears you apart." boy you hit the nail right on the head with that one smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#502109 - 05/10/07 08:19 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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bailey bridges Offline
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Hi Louis,

"Lo I am with you always, even until the end of the world." Didn't He say that? Right before he ascended up into heaven.

Ok, I love the melody on this one. I also love the message. There's quite a bit of repetition in it. Perhaps a bible verse might help with that. If that is something you want to work on.

This one has the capacity to remind the listener to look for ways God intervenes in their common everyday life. I've been looking for those times for many years. But, sometimes I've gotten sidetracked and lured back into fretting over the seeming 'intrusions' into my life. Or the seeming heartwrenching failures or 'misfortunes'.

Today those valleys are the 'mountains'. I think I'll try to write that one. Those Valleys are the Mountains. Thanks for giving me the idea.

Oh, I like how you refer to your body as a 'house'. If you are still working on this one, would you consider exploiting that concept even more? I like that concept. I like the 'tent' idea that one of the Bible writers refers to in his writings. Was it Paul? Or was it that he was a tentmaker and that's what's making me think he said our body was a tent. Somebody said it.

Love the song Louis. Keep up the great work.

Vanessa

#502119 - 05/10/07 09:13 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: bailey bridges]  
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bailey bridges Offline
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bailey bridges  Offline
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Hey,

I meant to share something. Might not be appropriate here. If it's not, I'll refrain in the future.

Your song immediately reminded me that yesterday, I prayed one of those prayers I like to call a "heart prayer". It's when I pause and think heavenward, I need help about _______. I did that just yesterday. Seems I'd over booked myself this week. An appointment to cut a friend's hair/playdate for our kids here. Also, I'd planned to have a group of little kids over for a class on butterflies (we have several painted lady butterfly caterpillars right now). Anyway, I began to be concerned that will that added stress, I might not be able to do such a good job on my song for church this week.

About 10 minutes later, I got a call from the other teacher who was planning to make the arrangements (invite and assign what to bring to lunch) She said, she had an unexpected family emergency that had come up and she would not be able to make it or help me with the plans. Whew!!! I sang an impromptu song of praise (recorded it in case I might expand it later). And then I relaxed knowing I was right there in the palm of His hand. Like a birdbath.

Thanks again,
Vanessa

#502120 - 05/10/07 09:18 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: bailey bridges]  
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Louis Offline
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Louis  Offline
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Vanessa, thanks for listening.. Yeah I'm trying to make it real for the listener..that's why I may not use a bible verse. If I was singing about my wife I wouldn't use one to help describe my relationship with her. He's just as real smile

"Today those valleys are the 'mountains'." I think you've got it... those are the times He is closer than He'll ever be.. smile Amazing isn't it?


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#502121 - 05/10/07 09:21 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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Louis Offline
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Louis  Offline
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Might not be appropriate here, but Hey I love it.. smile "Rain"
Last time I prayed for rain we got a hurricane... smile


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
#502122 - 05/10/07 09:24 AM Re: Just When I Need Him [Re: Louis]  
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bailey bridges Offline
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bailey bridges  Offline
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I changed it to birdbath. crazy

Oops---you have to specify I guess!


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