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#495393 - 04/22/07 05:24 PM "Reward" updated  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,016
Tony A Offline
Serious Contributor
Tony A  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,016
Ireland

Did a little work on this, what do you think?

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=674219&songID=5261523


Title
Reward

Verse 1
When I知 lost and confused
Sometimes when I知 blue
I can take comfort in you
You make it an easy thing to do
When I feel like empty well
If my worth fails to sell
When I致e been through heaven and hell
You致e been there for me without fail

chorus
When my ego takes a fall
When the road gets too hard
I値l make it through it all
Your love is my reward

Verse 2
If I知 mistreated or misused
And the only end is a fuse
When all I get is bad news
You never let me lose
Sometimes the world seem to lie
And nothing is almost nigh
You can give me such a high
You make me want to try

chorus

Bridge
You are yes you are
You are my reward

Solo

Verse 3
If I ever lose my way
And I知 just waiting for the day
You rise like the morning sun
You never let me down
When I think I知 at the end
You turn me round again
Your love stops the pain
And I hope mine can do the same

chorus

bridge

Tony Atkinson ゥ copyright 2007

#496973 - 04/27/07 04:45 AM Re: "Reward" updated [Re: Tony A]  
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 140
Dan Monk Offline
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Dan Monk  Offline
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 140
Hey Tony,
I don't know how folks let this slide without any comments at all. Love your voice, you remind me of Leonard Cohen only with a little better pitch control. And your guitar playing also has a nice other worldly feel to it. Your lyrics while good just don't measure up to your sound. If you would write lyrics as esoteric as your playing that would be cool. You obviously know how to craft a song.

#497010 - 04/27/07 11:44 AM Re: "Reward" updated [Re: Dan Monk]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,016
Tony A Offline
Serious Contributor
Tony A  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,016
Ireland
Hey Dan,
Had just about given up on getting any feedback on this one, my
first draft of lyrics were pretty dark so i decided to to brighten
them up, I may of lost some depth in the rewrite, sometimes going
with what you think people want to hear doesn't work.

Thanks for the advice and compliments.

Tony A

#497250 - 04/28/07 01:17 AM Re: "Reward" updated [Re: Tony A]  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,072
Scott Campbell Offline
Scott Campbell  Offline

Top 10 Poster

Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 12,072
Lakeland, FL, USA
Hey Tony:

Glad this got bumped - I missed it.

This is a major improvement in my opinion. Vocal is much better on this (think you were sick last time?) and the chorus has enough of a change up to set it apart.

Dig this one now...

Scott

#497274 - 04/28/07 02:00 AM Re: "Reward" updated [Re: Scott Campbell]  
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,775
niteshift Offline
niteshift  Offline

Top 50 Poster

Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,775
Fiji
Hey Tony,

This song has good points and bad points. Gravely vocal works well, and the repeditive nature of the the track keeps it moving.

It does need some change and varience, which you could introduce to the chorus to lift it and give the sameness a rest. Maybe take the vocal line up to the 3rd harmonic to differentiate it from the verses ?

It's flowing, but maybe a little too much so.

cheers, niteshift


#497857 - 04/29/07 05:52 PM Re: "Reward" updated [Re: niteshift]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,016
Tony A Offline
Serious Contributor
Tony A  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,016
Ireland
Hey Scott,
Took your advice from last time and used major chords in chorus
which helped, thanks.

Tony

#497862 - 04/29/07 06:05 PM Re: "Reward" updated [Re: Tony A]  
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,016
Tony A Offline
Serious Contributor
Tony A  Offline
Serious Contributor

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,016
Ireland
Hey Niteshift,

Get what your saying about chorus, will need someone else to
reach the third harmonic, unfortunately all I've got is gravely
vocals, already in contact with someone with a better range so
should be able to sort out sameness problem,

Thanks.

Tony A


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