JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Breathe Deep Let Go

Wrote this a couple of years ago. Might even be pretty dated by now...

Never posted it because I have an issue with it. Finally decided that I'd like to get opinions of others though. Just recorded this version on Sunday. Any comments positive or negative welcome

The song (Breathe Deep Let Go) is here:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=377550&songID=5143272

Lyric is below. Thanks!

Scott



Breathe Deep Let Go
(c) 2005 by S.W. Campbell

New age, road rage, read it on the front page
Guess that means it must be true
Texans, elections, drug-induced erections
You can be a superman too

Your first born’s shoe-horned in his room with web porn
Steaming paper off of the walls
Servers jammed with new spam, log on to our web cam
There’s coeds waiting for your call

Hey-Oh, Hey-Oh, breathe deep let go

Candidates self-inflate, watch them on the debate
Doing the same old song and dance
Doom, gloom, housing boom, welcome to the spin room
Let us clarify their stance

V.P.s, police, WMDs
You can never find one when you want
Dot-com, Enron, when it’s time to get it done
Haliburton’s waiting out front

Hey-Oh, Hey-Oh, breathe deep let go

New car, On-star, doesn’t matter where you are
We can find you when we need to
Still annoyed? Unemployed? Don’t be so damn paranoid
Take this cup and step out of view

War dead, talking heads, fill us with a sense of dread
Red state, blue state, stop the Califonicating
Botox, detox, let’s root for the Red Sox
Buy our art at Walmart, take a second shopping cart
Catch a pie in the eye, if I didn’t laugh I’d cry

Hey-Oh, Hey-Oh, breathe deep let go

Hey Scott,

I loved the lyrics and love the format you laid out. Great rhyme scheme.
I was wanting a second line to the chorus instead of the space.. I know it kinda works because the verses were busier.

I thought I heard this once before a ways back.

I would only mainly suggest doubling up some choruses even the last ones with the same lines even.
Loved the solo section and that vintage sound.. You are a vintage dude lol...

Scott,

Good song. Maybe you call it "Current Affairs" and change the lyrics every few month to keep up with what's happening now. This song could last you 20+ years and never go out of style.

Kevin

Hey Sub:

I had the lyric posted but not the song. I'll play around with your idea of doubling the chorus lines. Thanks for the suggestion...

I'll say later what my real issue is with the song - want to see if anyone else confirms it independently.....


Hey Kevin:

Thanks! That idea actually occurred to me also, though I was thinking of year rather than month. It takes me a month to write a song anyway

Scott

Scott,
I think these are fabulous lyrics. I can't crit much on the music part . . . as I don't really know too much about it . . . but I did like what I heard. There were parts I wanted to hear a little faster and other parts where I anticipated (was ready for) the start of the next verse . . . but overall no major flaws. The verses remind me in a way of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire" -- but of course your chorus is completely unique and I like it. (I mean that as a huge compliment btw) I don't think it's too dated . . . yet

Hi Scott,
I agree with Jody when she said she was anticipating you to jump in earlier with the next verse. I was too. I am not a trained musician so I can't articulate in technical terms my meaning. Maybe you or someone else can put it more succinctly. Lyric is great, Sound is great, and I like the musical hook. I agree also with Sub, but I think rather than just doubling the same line you should write another line to go with "breathe deep". I like the harmonica, wasn't expecting it, nice choice. Also repeat the chorus a few times as you fade at the end.
Just a few opinions and Ideas,
Great Song,
Rick

Hey Scott...

You da real Retro Man! As Rick said, the harmonica was a very pleasant surprise. Fabulous lyrics and music nicely done. And yeah, doubling up on your chorus might be something I would do.

Very nicely done!

Alan

Hey Jody:

Cool - glad you liked the lyrics!

It took me a sec to figure out who you were - but I got it

You hit on my issue with this song - a good portion of the people I've played this for have commented that it reminded them of the Billy Joel song. I understand they and you were paying me a compliment but I am also uncomfortable with the idea that so many people who hear it are reminded of the same song.

I could probably change up something about it but I'm not sure what. One person even made that comparison just looking at the lyric



Hey Rick:

Glad you liked it too. Those are some great suggestions. I'm not a trained musician either but I got what you meant and even know how to do it. I'll give your other suggestions some thought too.



Hi Alan:

Yes, I will always be retro. Until it comes back into fashion, anyway. If I was trying to make a buck at this I would have to change my ways. As that is not the case, I'm free to do what I love.



Glad all of you liked it. Many thanks!

Scott

I didn’t read any other posts so if I’m repeating please forgive.

This is a great song. And a damn good mp3. I think it’s only dated for those with the shallowest sense of history. All of the issues addressed are still with us.

Only one nit: the 2nd line of the next to last verse, “We can find you when we need to” seems a bit awkward. If you can get the “you” to the end of the line you maintain the rhyme scheme. Maybe, ‘You’re so wired we can find you.’

Scotty,

Yeah another chorus line or two even if you just sang it a second time...cool stuff...love your electric, had to grin on the lead break, a little Byrds 12 string distorted...anywho love these lyrics...your too much, dude....

tom

Hi Scott great song I liked it a lot. Great thought provoking lyrics. Remember they can be modified every few years to keep the song fresh and abreast of times. My only neg is I feel the acoustic guitar overpowers a great electric guitar sound which is to much in the background for my liking but hey that gives the song a different feel. Suggestion - perhaps have one or more verses or choruses "heavier" and others kept light to accentuate certain lyrics. I like songs with a lot of light and shade in them. But hey my band always say to me "JIM what you know about light and shade YOU CAN WRITE ON A STAMP."

Scott, haven't read any comments, sounds like you need to shorter the wait between the 2nd lines and the 3rd lines, keep it driving.. Like the guitars very much. think I would just use the harp by itself on the solo. good timely lyrics.

oh, and the chorus seems too short.

I like it Scott!!!
Everything works for me. It might be my headphones, but would have loved to hear the vocals more prominant. Great witty lyrics.
The chorus is a bit short I kept hearing go on more time around. The end I heard was
hey o hey o breath deep let go.
hey o hey o, it's just another dog and pony show.
hey o hey o breath deep let go.
hey o hey o, it's just another dog and pony show.
But then again I been hearing things ever since the sixties.

Hi Scott..

Normally a song this long with no appreciable chorus and verse change would be incredibly boring. However, right from the start the guitar sound captures you and the lyrics captivate you. The harmonica was a nice break, as well. As for the Billy Joel comparison, it is the same concept, but very different. You are one amazing, talented songwriter and to top it off, you can yodel the blues. Simply amazing.

Rick

Hery Everyone - lots of good ideas here - thanks for the listens and suggestions.

Jim:

Never noticed that but you are right. I think its because when you say that phrase you emphasize "need" but when I sing it, the accent is on "to". Anyway, should be easy to massage along the lines you suggested.


Hey Tom:

This one was fun to write. Can't remember exactly when I did - was either right after the last presidential election or right after the bosox swept the world series - whichever came later....

Not sure about that guitar tone


Hey Big Jim:

Thanks! I'm having a hell of a time mixing this. On my monitors, it sounds about right. On my 'phones, the acoustic overwhelms. In my truck the electric guitar does. I wonder if I'm seeing such a big difference because the distorted guitar is hard panned? Anyhow, I'll play with it some more. Interesting idea on the light/heavy too. Most of this was meant to be light but maybe can make some of the updates heavier


Hey Louis:

The original recording (couple years ago) was like you wanted it. Sounded even more like the Billy Joel song than it does now. If I put it back that way, I'm gonna have to do something with the verse melody. Probably ought to anyway....Actually the reason I ended up recording this Sunday was I was just sitting with my acoustic and I started playing this chugging strum - and thought of this song. The original was just a straight strum.

You aren't alone on the chorus



Hi Ernest:


Thanks, man. Dog and pony show indeed! Don't know that I'll put it in the chorus but its a natural for one of the verse lines in a future version

Thanks! Will check on the vocal volume....

Scott

Hey Rick:

Posting at the same time. Very nice to read those words, even if you are confusing me with someone else

Just kidding...about the someone else part - not about the nice to read the words part. I forget that on the web, kidding doesn't always come across...

Sadly, that yodel was something the 18 year old me came up with. Probably wouldn't have the guts to now

Thanks, Pal....

Scott

your lyrics are great.This is a very cool song

Hey Scott,
I know nothing about Billy Joel so it doesn't matter to me...However, this song is excellent! The lyrics are so much the time period we're living in at present and you're preserving it quite well in your words. The music and melody are very smooth allowing you to actually state what you are stating in the verses which is nice to hear. I can make them out which is a far cry from of the FM station/pop artists you hear on Letterman or Leno, if you know what I mean. I didn't have to guess. The chorus is very catchy and stcks with you for a bit which is a gret accomplishment..Kudos to you and this song...Good Luck!
BOB

Hey Michael:

Thanks, Buddy - glad you think it's cool


Hey Bob:

Really appreciate the kind words. Was fun to write but it WAS pretty difficult with all those rhymes. Glad it all came together for you...

Scott

Yeah, it's dated. Very Steve Miller late 70's. Sorry....

Great sound Scott. Lyric is gripping.

Vanessa

To some of us that's a good thing. Sure beats lots of the cookie cutter country songs that all seem to be baked in the same oven.

Rick

Hey Sandbox:

Thanks for the comment. I'm happy to hear any opinion. No reason to be sorry....


Hey Vanessa:

Nice to hear from you! Thanks. I'll take gripping any day...


Hey Rick:

Thanks. I probably would write differently if I was trying to make money at it. But I'm not, so I don't

Thanks All!

Scott

Great song, catchy and well performed musically and vocally. I could listen to a lot more of this. The lyric writing is very strong.

I have to say that I don't agree with simply dismissing a song on the basis that it's 'dated'. Many songwriters, like me, are not market driven. And many. again like me, are mature people who like dated stuff!

Gerry

Hi Scott,

I don't know if I want to read these lyrics as funny or sad, but either way they rhyme and their good either way. I too wanted to hear more of a refrain so I suggest this for a change:

Hey oh, hey oh, nothing you can do so,
Hey oh, hey oh, breathe deep let it go.

You could also double this just by repeating both lines if you want a 4 line chorus.

Best,
Lynn

Hey Gerry:

Many thanks. Appreciate the compliment about could listen to more!

I thought the dated comment was a perfectly reasonable response since I indicated I had a concern and also indicated that I was afraid it was dated. Of course the music is dated - I should have indicated that my concern was for the lyric. No worries, in any case!

Never been in my head to write for mainstream appeal. If I don't really like the music, it would be hard to get geared up to write in that style....


Hey Lynn:

Great suggestion!

As for funny or sad? Didn't have sad in mind. Maybe "mad". Guess I was shooting for funny and mad.

Thanks for the listen and suggestion!

Scott

Scott, I love this. A very cool song about the current world.

Another time I have a very definite opinion. And that is to sing twice as many Hey-o sections. I suppose that is a chorus. No doubt, to ME, it should be repeated. (Sing the chorus twice... which will become the entire chorus.)

There were a couple of lines that I thought the meter could be improved but overall, done.

Thanks, Duke...

Looks like its pretty much unanimous on extending the chorus...

Appreciate the listen and suggestion!

Scott

Hi Scott, I like this ( and not just because you said you liked mine ) I usually find it hard to read lyrics without the music but I actually read the lyrics earlier and really thought they were great and I just got to listen to the music (I'm back and forth to the computer all say) and it all comes together for me. nice work -
maureen

Thanks Maureen. Appreciate it

I have trouble reading a lyric in the absence of music as well....

Hope what I was trying to say in your thread came across - was indicating if I had a voice like yours, I wouldn't have to add all this other stuff to make it work

See ya,
Scott

Hi Scott, yes I understood and appreciate the compliments!

Well, I think this song was awesome!!! I love and appreciate talent... and this song kept my interest the whole way thru. I am horrible at critiquing, hence why I do so little of it... but I do know what my instincts like... and when it all comes down to it... it's what the listener likes...not always what the industry says... grreat jobbbb!!

Lori Stillwell

Hey Lori:

Thanks so much for the kind words. It's so nice to read something like that first thing on a Monday morning

Had this one buried but I just happened onto a new strum the other morning and decided to incorporate it. Love when that kind of stuff happens....

Thanks again for the confidence builder.....




Hey Maureen:

Great! Thanks....



Scott