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#460450 01/03/07 09:19 PM
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Mozzie Offline OP
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Hi All,

I am a new member to JPF! I am a vocalist at heart, however I am also a songwriter, and have my own recording studio at home in our apartment in the heart of Sydney, Australia.

Here is a link to my latest song, 'Till The End of Time' which was co written with a good friend of mine Michael Infante. Any comments or feedback is very welcome.

http://www.ozemail.com.au/~tvics

As an audio engineer, I hope to be able to provide people with as many tips as possible for creating that great demo track.

PS. Brian, your story is very touching, and oh so very true indeed, I enjoyed reading it.

Adam McCarthy
Singer/Songwriter


Click link for 'Till the end of time'

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Adam-- Very nice song....I could hear the vocals a hair higher in the beginning....may be my speakers....the vocal is really good...like the high parts...enjoyable listen....t-bob

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Adam,

Great production, cool gear in the website pics. Would also like to hear the vocals a little more up front...good song..

tom

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Mozzie Offline OP
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Thank you very much to both of you!

Yes I got the impression that the vox should be a little more up front from family and friends also. I have had another song up on my mixer and havent been able to get round to it as yet.

I will post this new song call She's Alone

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=646480

and put up this song on the mixer and adjust the vocals. Thanks for all your feedback I hope you enjoy this latest song, I think you will find the vocals to be quite out front on this one.

Cheers and 73's

Adam

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Hey Adam,

Welcome to JPF and welcome to a fellow Aussie. There's a few of us here holding up the arse end of the world ( so to speak ) smile

OK, because you're an audio engineer, and being a tough Australian, you get the "tough critique" .........

Firstly, you've got a great voice mate, it's pretty much spot on with pitch and vocal phrasing. As to the song itself, it's well written and well structured, so any comments here are to bring it along and to improve it. They're a tough bunch here, but very friendly, and the whole purpose is improvement, so here goes.....

The song itself has overtones of Farnham and also Savage Garden, who both write great songs, but what they also do is provide ebb and flow to the material so that it lifts , builds, dies down and therefor provides contrast.

In light of that, I would probably revisit the instrumentation.

Some suggestions would be.....

Kill the hihat at the beginning of the song,( until 0.50 ) and replace the current drum sound with a military style snare, snappy, which will provide momentum but also provides a rythmic beat. Heavy guitar wash would work well here too. Introduce the hihat at this stage.

It's an intersting keyboard patch, provides a point of musical interest and maybe higher in the mix ?

I would reinttoduce the hihat at 1.10 , there is a small dull point at about 1.20 - 1.24, probably halve the number of bars here fron 8 to 4.

The strings work OK, but how about raising them up an octave to use the whole spectrum ?

Acoustic guitar would fit well at the 2.14 mark. The use of drum phrasing will lift the song as a whole and provide dynamics.

A ghost harmony on the high vocal parts will add lift and really make those high notes stand out ( great high parts by the way ! )

The keyboards are very chunky and could be replaced with either a different patch, ( emphasis on the tops ) or bring in a keyboard player to play through the progressions rather than block chording them.

There is plenty of room here for sustained backing vocals ( probably female ) and especially at the breakdown which would work beautifully with 5 part harmony ( at least )

Technically, I would watch the pops ( easily edited out ) and a little more presence on the voice. No need for the bass at the end, your voice is rich enogh to carry it out.

Ok, there's my suggestions. I'm sure guys like Sub, Accel and musica will chime in and give a few suggestions also.

Just take em or leave em, hope you stay awhile, there's a lot of good folks here and are more than willing to help if not with the technical bits, then just support in general.

It's a well written song and with thought to arrangement and instrumentation, will work up well.

cheers, niteshift


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Not my style but you gotta good voice for it.


http://www.soundclick.com/louistwinn

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Thoreau
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Keep on pluging away you got talent.Just a little pitchy in a few spots.Great job

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Mozzie Offline OP
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G'Day Michael,

Thanks for your feedback. This is the first in a series of songs for a new album being created with a songwriter friend of mine. We are currently working on the third song for this album which will be entitled "In Moscow City", a catchy track that will hopefully capture a peice of the dark, secretive and cold side of growing up in Russia. I will look to the forum to help with the verse lyrics, I have already written the lyrics for the Chorus, hopefully the people at JPF will get a small taste of this track in the coming weeks. Ill keep ya posted! If you havent yet heard track 2, please have a listen to "She's Alone" at the following link.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=646480

Thanks again for your support
Adam

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Hey Mozzie, Just listened to She's alone. Loved it. Afraid i cant give you any technical critique but just wanted to let you know i think its a great song.

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Mozzie Offline OP
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Thanks gtrfnatk_63, going to do some more work on it shortly, I have another song on the Mixer once again, so once they are all down, will mix the album from start to finish to get a comparable soundscape across the album - I have friend who can master it for me once this is all done.

Thanks again for your kind words

Adam


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