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Lemondrops and Popsicles (For Becky) (C) Becky Schultz 10/06 A child chasing his own shadow His whisper of a secret so mellow The pounding of a broken heart His life is in a quandary from the start
The loss of an Angel he held so close He offered her a black agot for her pose A man of shivelry he bowed with regret The Angel he couldn't erase nor forget
ch Lemondrops and popsicles walkin' 'round his mind not to be the dreamer , or to be one bit unkind he offered her an agot for her pose but , would rather , the solitary Rose
v3 Their eyes had met and talked a tale time flew so fast , then , time to sail each had seen what they were want to see another soul a'lookin and talkin' back to me
v4 Let's dance , let's dance , we can't romance he wanted to stare inside , stay in his trance she wanted more than an agot or a rose they both knew what everybody knows
ch
br You can trade agots for poses give roses and rub noses but can not give away what isn't yours
ch
v5 They walked away as friends , so , the story ends Or , does it now ? I guess that depends, the stories that they told , live inside each other's souls and always be a part of them.
ch
tag so , don't you look away when you see eyes that say hey ! How the heck are you?...
Hope that's to your liking , Bekster... Pete edit: added copyright
[This message has been edited by TheGuyWhowouldn'tSignHisN (edited 10-25-2006).]
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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Ah, Mr. Keats (or is it Mz Browning?) Where to begin? Let me count the words.... What's an "agot"? Think you mean chivalry? The secret was mellow? Well, now, Petey, to state what you already know, this is MIGHTY poetic. And since I don't know what prompted your effort for Becky, this kinda remains a mellow secret to me...ie. I don't know what U R saying. But I'm sure it will be meaningful to her. No offense. But, we're done with the goose egg, so you're likely to get more offerings....sooner! My computer's been down again, so I'm having to do alot of quickies. Always comes back up shortly before the baseball playoffs resume!!! Ben
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hi Pete, My mom and aunt are here with me right now, and I read your song aloud, because I can't understand this complicated storyline! Now we're all scratching our heads. The most profound question we have is...why a black agat and not some other color?! All of this being said...when I read this verse for verse and don't worry about understanding it...I think...it's very pretty! Poetic, as Ben says. It also somehow has a Victorian-era feel to it, which I really like. Lisa
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Ben, I was just as lost on agot as you Ben , I had to google it to get a sense of it. Chivalry , indeed , child's play for a supersleuth like yourself. Becky aka brokenwing wrote the first two verses and asked me to finish it . That might be considered chivalrous , but ; who could refuse such a charming lady a request ? I'd heard about a kind of song to write , we'll have Becky decide if I succeeded in one part of it. The other seems to have bombed... Watson
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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Lisa , Some of the confusion is coming from there being two writers , the rest , I'll take credit for. I always thought I was a bit old fashoned , but ; antedeluvian ? Even , Winchester Cathedral doesn't go back to Victorian era , Sherlock Holmes , on the other hand , Beeeeeeen ! Thank You for sharing , Lisa, pete
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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Joined: Aug 2003
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Hey Pete and Becky
interesting read, could work as jazz
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Do ya mean "Agate"..as in the Stone?
"Chivalry" is definitely the Spelling of that word, Amigo.
Dunno about BLACK Agate, either...Agate's usually Red-with-Swirls-of-Creame/White...etc. HEMATITE is Black/Shiny/Semiprecious like Agate is. Both, I think, are Igneous Rocks used in Jewelry. (So is OBSIDIAN...another Igneous Fresh-from-da-Volcano Jet-Black Semiprecious Rock.)
"Lemondrops & Popsicles" don't exactly hark back to the days of Chivalry..so seem out of place here.
Kinda Dances too-widely around the Hint they belong to someone else..
Ending's kinda un-well-defined.
Keep at it tho, & it's gonna be a Well-Told Tale...I got Faith in You!~
Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Mornin' Rittman, I'll take an interesting read and that could be Jazz...anytime. To be honest , I didn't set out with that intention , I didn't make meter a high priority , though I did try to stick with how Becky's went , roughly. The wandering structure of Jazz would be able to work something like this , but ; if most people are like me , they tend to focus on the music when they listen to jazz. Hey , break out some of your old Brubeck records and see if something fits , who knows... Pete
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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Hey Calvin, Thanks for the read and glad you like it , I wasn't trying to make a Lollapallooza out of it , you know , just everyday stuff. Pete
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Good Morning Pete I'm kind of looking forward to Becky's response on this...My guess is she does mean a 'black agate' stone or marble, they do exsist. Maybe relating to the look of a black cup of coffee in your other piece. Of course, I'm guessing. I do love the images and feel to this. Best to yoy jm
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Joined: Oct 2003
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Pete, this is lovely! this sure fits in a folk genre or alternative almost as is...I understood it fine...must be the winter approaching and the common ground! This is simply beautiful! I'm touched, Linda A. spelling isn't an issue for me...i know what you're talking about ...that can all be cleared up when it goes to print...the gist is there
[This message has been edited by Linda A (edited 10-20-2006).]
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Mornin Brother Stan, Thanks for puttin' the eagle-eye on this one. Agot is right , I think. I was thinking aggie , which , if I remember correct , is what my Dad said he used to call some marbles. Agot , from what I can gather , is a gamepiece and I couldn't find out much more than that without joining some game forum , Black Agot is what I punched into the google window and most ref's lead to a game , no other color did I see. Could well have been agate , Winger's spelling is right in there with mine. Lisa , I didn't do a very good job of explaining "why , the black agot" , I was kinda tired last night. Hope this explains. P Hookwise , I think you got me right between the eyes , Bro. Plumb fergot about making the hook grabby , in my attempt to make it something Winger would recognize and identify with. Just putting it in the chorus doesn't really "develop " the hook if'n I never explained it well enough. It would get really long if I did. I was helping Winger with a song she was writing and I came up with a title I thought was really cool, "Lemondrop Memories" and in the process of corresponding back and forth I was getting a vibe like how could you suggest a title like that? It's a famous cover! So , I took the horse , after the cart was already on the road , off to the BMI and ASCAP memory banks to find out if I had scarfed up someone elses hook , and nope , noone had ever , ever used that one before. I told her she should register that one and don't know wether she copyrighted it with the U.S. patent office or registered it with BMI or ASCAP , I reckon the Patent Office is like chiseling it in granite , but ; it's like 120 bucks , not the 30 it used to be. That would make a very dull song , though. Some marbles have things in them that look like eyes... Thankee fer the visit and keep yer stick on the ice , wait , that's Canada , Keep yer eye on the Tiger , BG-H, Pete Pete
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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Mornin' Mountain Girl, Glad you like it and I'm looking just as forward to Becky's response. Sure hope she likes it! Best to yoy zwell, Pete hee hee
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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Howdie Nabe, Yeah , Winter , yuk! Only good thing about winter , makes you appreciate the Spring all the more , well , need it , REALLY! Glad you like the song . I couldn't think of some handy carpenters that would venture that far Nawth , most have two jobs and do wood-butcherin' as a sideline. There were two barns on the way to work that were jacked up had their foundations redone and the sheathing changed , I don't know who did that , but ; I could inquire. Sounded like more involved than you needed. Hope the winter is mild n'if we get snowed in , hope there's plenty of coffee , filters , milk , bread , eggs and butter around , oh yeah and TP... Pete
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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Joined: Mar 2006
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Hi Pete,
I wanted to say something about your lyric "Angel on the boulevard" Extremely tired after a long day. I thought I would write my interpretation of a very different kind of song but same meaning.
Love the Idea of the story about a man struggling with a little boy fantasy. You offer the prostitute your favorite agate marble from childhood for a tender pose. (Instead of a cup of coffee.) The artist in your heart is begging to capture her rough innocence. The lemon drop comparison could be in her sweet but sour way to entice the capture of a mans attention. "This is definitely your Idea” I just couldn’t tell you how much I like it without being poetic. Great story! Keep on being you
Brokenwing
[This message has been edited by brokenwing (edited 10-20-2006).]
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I like the feel though I dont know what this is all about.You are sure gifted with words.
------------------ odk
odk
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Hi Winger, Glad you liked it , put a c on it for ya.Couldn't make the cool c work this morning. Might want to snarf that title. You ASCAP or BMI yet? We'd never do well in a spelling bee LOL. I'll try to be me , nothin' else works... XOXOXO, Pete
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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Debby, Feel free to ask questions , I'll even try to answer 'em. Thanks for the read and the nice words , don't mean to hide the meaning. Pete
Here we are wracking our brains today to write lyrics that rhyme and if we succeed, they'll end up in time as tommorrow's cliche's... Pete
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