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CRAZY
words and music by Anna Tutor

(I tried to name it something else I know this is a totally common title but I seriously dislike naming songs and everyone would call it this so I kept it)

[Verse 1]
you held my heart in your hand
you didn't know what you had
you let it go

[Chorus]
you make me crazy
for your love
you make me crazy
for your love

[Verse 2]
I've watched your darkened eyes
I've watched you, hypnotized
All that you touch, I want to be
All that you are, I want to know

[Chorus]
You make me crazy
for your love
you make me crazy
for your love


should I tell you everything
should I tell you anything
should I tell you?

[Bridge]
I wish the world would fall away
fall away
fall away (and you wanted me)
I wish the world would fall away
fall away
and you wanted me

[Chorus]
'cause you make me Crazy
for your love
you make me crazy
for your love

[Verse 3]
you held my heart in your hand
i told you what you had
you didn't want it back
you let it go

[END]

Sometimes I drop the chorus after the bridge and go right into Verse 3.

Thx for reading.

------------------
Anna
Huntington Beach, California
http://www.withouttheblonde.com
http://www.myspace.com/annatutor

Hi Anna!

Welcome to JPF. It's a pretty cool place to hang out.

Don't have much time, but saw this sitting there with no responses, so I thought I'd take a look. I did a fairly quick read and this is what came to mind:

(1) A very nice first offering. (I ASSUME this is your first lyric post since I've seen no others from you).

(2) Your first verse has but 3 lines while your other verses have 4. That might make putting music to this a little difficult. But, I am not sure what genre you had in mind for this, so that may or may not be a problem. Actually, your first verse is the same as your third verse minus the third line of your third verse. If it were my lyric, I would give that repetition a little more thought.

(3) Your chorus is a little short, although it does emphasize your hook emphatically, as it should. But, you might consider 4 more short lines.

(4) I would ALWAYS include the chorus after the bridge. The lyrics, as currently written, will make this very short, otherwise.

(5) I would probably use the title "Crazy For Your Love". First, it fits perferctly with your lyrics. Also, it will steer most people away from thinking about Patsy Cline's monsterous hit of "Crazy".

Although I am not sure what genre you had in mind, I do like the lyrics. I think you have a really good base to work from with what you have so far. I think with a little tweaking and a few extra, carefully chosen words along the way, you could have a really good song here. Good luck with it.

Just so you know, my observations and suggestions or just for you to think about. Us any of them you would like to....or not. it is your lyric. Stay with this one, though...it has a lot of promise.

Again, welcome to JPF. Hope you stay around for a while. I have been here for 6 years and cannot tell you how much my writing has been improved by the observations and suggestions of others here at JPF. Will be looking in on this to see how it progresses. I really do like what you have started with. Best of luck!

Alan

------------------
If I were but half as good as Dawg...I'd be twice as good as most.

Don't take more than your love can buy,
Don't live faster than your angel can fly...
Hal Ketchum

Alan on Soundclick

Alan's Web Site

Hi Alan

I am totally new to JPF but this was my second lyric offering the first one I put in the Lyrics Feedback Forum section but then later saw that we were requested to use this Lyric Feedback Forum 3 for new postings so put the second one in here.

The genre of this song I would say leans towards Country. I have a very quick demo recording of it at http://www.withouttheblonde.com/audio/NOCOVERAGE-crazy-2.m3u I've hesitated putting up audio links because I don't really want a critique on the audio part - I don't have great recordings. Working on it.

How funny u said 'Crazy for your Love' I called it that for a while I usually did it as 'Crazy (for your Love)'. Maybe I should reconsider that title. Of course Patsy is the first thing people think of when u say 'Crazy' and for good reason!

What is the thing about repetition - is that a 'thing' in songwriting?

The chorus works ok for me cause I stretch the vocal out. The reason I sometimes leave out doing the chorus a 3rd time is for length concerns. When I first started writing songs they were monsterously long so as I continued writing I tried to keep them shorter even though sometimes I can't help it they come out long. I like the flow of this song better with the chorus left in after the bridge so I especially appreciate that feedback!

The thing I'm mostly struggling with is an instrumental part I hear between the Bridge and the third chorus. Everyone hates it, so I don't have it in, but I really like it. One day I'll get it down on a recording with that instrumental part, 'cause I'm not ready to let it go.

Visited your soundclick page - you have great melodies. I love the Sex on the Beach song that is terribly clever and fun! I'm not usually much of a 'music-only' fan I love lyrics and lyric melodies but your piano song 'Dancing in the Park' is fabulous as is the first song u had listed that was an instrumental I forgot the name u mentioned it was done when u were in a melancholy mood.

Thx for the comments they were really helpful!

------------
Anna/Without the Blonde
Huntington Beach, CA
http://www.withouttheblonde.com
http://www.myspace.com/annatutor



[This message has been edited by Anna/Without the Blonde (edited 09-04-2006).]

Hi Anna,
Welcome to jpf ! Nice to meet you.
Took a listen and what a strong voice ! I liked the guitar riff too , Doors isn't it People are strange , that's an oldie but a goodie.
For the lyric , I thought was short and not true to the sung song. there were some graced in kz's and well's and there were some words that were held or reaccentuated.That's only a minor nit though. Liked the song very much.
Kudos,
Pete

Hi Pete! I'm not sure what you meant by kz's and well's? I'm pretty new to this board maybe those are songwriting terms or??
Also, what did you mean by the lyric was not true to the sung song? If you care to elaborate, I'm very interested! Thank you for yr comments!

Anna

Hi Anna,
By kz's I meant what sounded like a 'cause , but quick and not written and the well might come across as wll before a word. Most definately not lingo used by musicians , since I'm not one.
Hope that clears things up some,
Pete

OK I get it! *laff* Yes, I do that. Thx Pete.

Hey, Anna
Nice to meet you. Went to your site and listened to a couple. Kudos! One complaint, what's the deal with your pictures? Do you cater to guys with a foot fetish?

If you hang around long enough, you might come to half way understand "Pete-alese".
Well, Fsu-Miami's about to come on. So, later!
Ben

Hi Ben

I am afraid it is *I* with the foot fetish.

My secret is out.

I'm so ashamed.

I'm thinking u were at the myspace - the regular website has more 'regular' pix - although I've taken to using my friend's camera phone for photos - something about dark, grainy, blurry - makes me prettier. :-P

Thx for checking things out n for your comments

Anna

Hi Anna,

Nice to meet you

First impression of your lyrics in general is that the music came first? Just curious.

Your song here is a nice example of "word riffing" --the last verse being an exception, in that it's a more traditional looking verse.

The music holds the key to your lyric working or not, as is usually the case with "word riffing" type songs, I would imagine, but nice job at that!

Best wishes,
Mike


[This message has been edited by closemike (edited 09-06-2006).]

Hi Anna'

Enjoyed the read.

A Sucker for your love works

Better to be crazy than a sucker

Just funnin'

Regards
Bill

------------------
Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.

Hi Anna -
Welcome to JPF... Nice to meet you... Lots of wisdom to be shared here ..
WOW ... Alan did a great job ... he covered most of the nits.
"is that a songwriter 'thing'"
As a listener, you come to expect things when your listening to a song.. even if you have never heard it before, you often can anticipate whats coming next ... that's because there are different formulas when writing a song, different patterns, ie: verse structure, rhyme patterns...
There are always exceptions .. but these things are what help to make a song memorable.
Check out some of the really great songwriting books by Sheila Davis, Jason Blume to name a couple.
Keep working this one!!!
Good Luck
Joanne

------------------

[*]The Best is Yet to Be,Joanne Lurgio-singer/songwriter www.joannelurgio.com


[*] Joanne's Gig Calendar - http://www.musi-cal.com/search?key=performers&value=Lurgio

[*] http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=100751

[*] www.cdbaby.com/cd/lurgio

[*] MySpace - www.myspace.com/joannelurgio

[*]www.cdbaby.com/group/justplainfolks

Hey Mike! Usually the music and lyrics happen at the same time - one barely ahead of the other, they kinda help each other form. I've only one time pretty much completed the music and then put lyrics to it, and only twice had lyrics and put music to them. It seems it works best for me when they work side by side.

I will look up the 'word riffing' thing - thanks for mentioning that!

Good to meet you - thx for leaving a comment

Anna
-----
http://www.withouttheblonde.com
http://www.myspace.com/annatutor

Hey HEY Lost Bill!

Do you mean a Sucker for your love as in a title.. or as the theme?

What if u r a crazy sucker? Could be fun :-P

HEY Joanne! First, thanks for friending me on myspace! I really enjoyed listening to yr songs!

I've stayed away from all writing books and courses - I'm not sure exactly why, partly maybe it's such a joy right now and I don't want it to be work, partly cause I'm worried it will ruin it for me. Usually when I see the 'behind the scenes' stuff it looses the magic for me. Not always, but...

I have a list. I should probably take guitar and voice lessons. I've not experienced guitar, voice, writing - in any educational form. And I have to teach myself recording. To start learning songwriting TOO.. it's too much for me right now, participating on this board was kinda a big jump for me. I appreciate the songwriting book recommendations, though, I've pasted them over in my files for when I'm ready to tackle that!

Baby steps baby steps!

Anna
-----
http://www.withouttheblonde.com
http://www.myspace.com/annatutor

Mornin' Ann - NO... thank YOU!!! I am always happy to make new friends

Absolutely "baby steps" ... you need to find your own way and your own style ..
What you want to do with your lyrics is another factor when thinking about song structure... if its just for your own fun...it really doesn't matter .. BE HAPPY
But I do believe its a good idea to at least KNOW what the rules are ... then feel free to break them... Most of all, have fun.
All the best
Joanne


------------------
[*]The Best is Yet to Be,Joanne Lurgio-singer/songwriter www.joannelurgio.com

[*] Joanne's Gig Calendar - http://www.musi-cal.com/search?key=performers&value=Lurgio

[*] http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=100751
[*] www.cdbaby.com/cd/lurgio
[*] MySpace - www.myspace.com/joannelurgio
[*] [URL=http://www.cdbaby.com/group/justplainfolks [/URL]

[This message has been edited by Joanne (edited 09-07-2006).]

Thx Joanne! I know it would be good for me to have some more tools at my disposal, so to speak! Thx for the encouragement and the reference suggestions!

Hi Anna

Just wanted to stop in here to tell you I visited your site and listened some. I like what you are doing and this song. Keep going girl. jm

[This message has been edited by joice marie (edited 09-11-2006).]

Good Aftynoon, Mz CaliforniAnna~!

Sorry I'm unable to download Music worth a Lick on this WebTv Rig...but I'm primarily interested in WORDS, bein' a Non-Instrument-Playin' Songwriter.

First & Second Read this looks like a Serious Guitar Piece...(& I'm perfectly O.K. with that.) There ARE some Deep-Feeling Lines..(V1 starts out very Well, IMO)...but in V2 it slides into kinda Cliche Rhyme (Eyes/Hypnotized) and next Couplet defies Logic ("All that you touch, I want to be"..Hey, Guys do their Own OIL Changes too, yaknow.) Last Line's a Keeper there...tho..IMO.

Nothin' REAL Deep about your Chorus either..(Sorry..JMO, Darlin'!)

LIKE the Next 3 Lines a LOT...tho maybe go for a Laugh & add "WHAT should I tell you" on Last Line..perhaps. These are 3 Really GREAT Lines, back in the Category of your First Couplet.

The Bridge...makes me Scratch My Head.
Even IF The World Just Fell Away, Singer's been Bascally REJECTED by Object of Desire in V1, back when The World was All Intact. So this bit of whimsey Doesn't exactly Enhance The Plotline or take us to Yet Another Dimenson..(Tho, yeah, the Idea Presented IS a Bit Crazy..)

V3's OK.."You didn't want it back" takes a while to Translate, since he's ALREADY "Given It Back" to Singer earlier-on.

So..It's NOT the Easiest-to-Understand Song I've ever read..but I've never understood "Rhiannon" yet & still Love the Song whenever I hear it.

Good Luck with it, Nice Lady!
Big Weekend Hugs,
Stan
<www.CDBaby.com/TampaStan> /1../2../3..4../5

[This message has been edited by TampaStan (edited 09-10-2006).]

Add me to the parade of followers to your website (not myspace). Some real gems in there. I currently listening to "Don't Think About It" ....real solid IMO...as is "Movie Star"...that one's lots of fun. You also have a "sound" and a good voice..so lots of upside in you girl.

And welcome BTW. I'm looking for lots of good stuff pressure pressure

Oh Joice thank you so much! Hey I checked out yr website and I love yr 'Tulips in Snow' and the drawing of the Maple Tree was especially beautiful to me

Anna
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http://www.withouttheblonde.com
http://www.myspace.com/annatutor

Hey Tampa Stan! Thx for tackling this. By yr 'serious guitar piece' comment I'm thinking you mean it needs a lot of music to pull it off as an actual song *laff* I'm ok w/that statement!



*laff* TampaManStan u crack me up I love the way u express things! Ok I give you that this is no master work of wordsmithing. Simple idea, simple song. Sorry to tell ya but the guitar part is pretty simple too!


thk u thk u - hmmm... it's kinda a brooding vocal so I don't think I can go for comedy here although that is my favorite thing to do!



Ok so 1st - Rhiannon - OMG I loove that song the opening riff starts and I get all warm inside what is it with that song! It seems so simple but it's soooo much fun to listen to and sing - esp. when Stevie starts chanting stuff at the end. Dammit but she was good!

Ok so back to 'CRAZY'. It seems that last line of 'you didn't want it back' is confusing, as well as the general confusion that many of the commenters have expressed. I'll explain where I was comin' from on the song, not to defend it, just to say where my head was at.

It kindof all came out at once, seriously, like three chords and then the song completely came out. It started from having a wicked crush on someone but as songs tend to do it encompassed more than that for me, it was the feeling of a longing for a love, to connect with someone you just have such an intense curiosity about.

So with that in mind... in this case, it was someone that held my heart in his hand but did not know this and basically though the interactions with them let this heart go without ever knowing they had it.

Wow THAT sounds clear!? hmmmm

The second verse which ok like I said no great wordsmithing here but it's about observing the object of your desire soooo closely, covet covet covet!!! In my case I had that opportunity and did so over MONTHS (I really need to move faster on these things and get it over with) as well as interacting with them. So to literally watch their 'darkened eyes' and the feeling of being hypnotized while watching them - in this specific instance they were on-stage so I could stare all I wanted and really for a while there I was transfixed (transfixed doesn't sing so well) (and as you pointed out 'hypnotized is such a easy rhyme :-P)

The 'all that you touch I want to be, all that you are, I want to know' is exactly that - I'm saying I am coveting the things that receive this person's touch. Gotta tell 'ya Stan the oil change didn't occur to me, this was just about the longing for the physical contact haha. Boys are so literal! And the 'all that you are, I want to know' is just the intense longing to really get to know and understand someone that you are so interested in.

'Should I tell you everything"??? Was the struggle of - shall I jsut get this out in the open - should I do it slow... or just lay it all out (everything?) Or stay quiet about it?

the last line that is confusing and now I must rethink this 'cause a bunch of you get bogged down in this line and truth be told I did also until I straightened it out in my head but that was after a bit of singing it and really if it is that hard for me to reconcile I guess it isn't odd that it trips up people hearing/reading it the first time... but the whole 'you held my heart in your hand I told you what you had you didn't want it back'

What happened here was that I had already given them my heart once, although they had no idea, and I had felt things were that they had already let go of it, and then when I finally 'tell them' - in that last attempt to see if this could really happen - they were not interested in it, so they 'didn't want it back'. I know it sounds weird. As Stevie would say... "It's just a feeling..."

So I know you are not curious but for the record... NEED TO SPEED up this process - the person turned out to be an ass and I felt really stupid for making them up in my mind to be so awesome, and months were wasted, however I got a couple of great friendships out of it from some 'extras' in the story and then the next 'wicked crush' well... ok I didn't really move much faster but there wasn't as much opportunity for interaction, actually a month or so could go by b4 I'd even be in the same room as them. However kinda pushed that one to the carpet one of the 'interactions' and he was a sweetheart but turned out to be GAY which would have been ok if HE were a SHE but as it was I was completely out of luck. Of course now I don't know why I was enamoured 'cause they seem sweet but I dunno where the big attraction came from. Whatever I'm 'just a girl'. Well, no song for that one, and now I'm a ramblin'.

Just a silly little story song for me to sit with and I think of it now as the whole feeling of a longing for a love. People seem to like it or hate it.

However I'm gonna rethink the hypnotized maybe there is something less common I can come up with but still express the same feeling and I'm gonna think about that ending.



Anna

Hey John! I totally know where u r comin' from on not visiting MySpace. I have to double-wrap protect my computer every time I go there but it's been a great way for me to interact with a lot of people so I keep it up.

Thk u for the feedback - 'Don't Think About It' was one of the first songs I ever wrote it came out all by itself with a bridge and everything. Took a while for the melody to get to where it was at (I just mumbled it kinda low in the beginning) but I love doing that song and it reminds me of that whole time period every time I do it - it's really special to me.

Movie Star was actually started by my friend Slimm who had the chorus (minus the noises idea) and I was in a trio called 'Dear Jane' with him and another girl and he gave up the chorus for us to play with and no one really acted on it and I ended up writing a whole song and they really did not like my idea but I was in love with it - it was so fun for me! So the 'trio' went on haitus for oh a year (it's supposed to get going again but who knows). So I kept the song I wrote but share songwriting credit with him and now it's a favorite for me to play at the bars. We did it in a coffee shop once but turns out it was a little too rauncy for that. When I got a backup girl singer AND a guy singer on it with me it gets to be pretty rowdy and we have a party w/it! Anyway I love comedy and so was very happy to have a funny song to do! Thx for saying u enjoy it

Anna
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http://www.withouttheblonde.com
http://www.myspace.com/annatutor