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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Feb 2004
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'Nother attempt at getting out of my tearjerker slump. Uptempo dance number Foot Stompin’ Heartache ©Bill Robinson 2006 V1 I’m feelin’ sad I’m feelin’ blue I need some rock n roll To get over loosing you Sun’s goin down my side of town I’m headed for the neon lights To lay some dancin’ down Ch Don’t want to hear George Jones Or Hank cryin’ country blues Play me a song that’s got some rhythm I wore my dancin’ shoes Gonna dance away my heartbreak With some good ol’ rock n roll I’ve got a foot stompin’ heartache (in my soul) Dance instrumental break here V2 I want to dance I want to sing Gonna have an auction Sell my wedding ring Take my cash play dancin’ songs Ain’t going home Til’ my dancing money’s gone Ch Don’t want to hear George Jones Or Hank cryin’ country blues Play me a song that’s got some rhythm I wore my dancin’ shoes Gonna dance away my heartbreak With some good ol’ rock n roll I’ve got a foot stompin’ heartache (in my soul) Bridge I got a foot-stompin heartache Won’t let it break my heart gonna stomp all over that pain When the dancin’ music starts goin dancin, dancin my heartache away Ch Don’t want to hear George Jones Or Hank cryin’ country blues Play me a song that’s got some rhythm I wore my dancin’ shoes Gonna dance away my heartbreak With some good ol’ rock n roll I’ve got a foot stompin’ heartache (in my soul) ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart [This message has been edited by bill robinson (edited 07-23-2006).] [This message has been edited by bill robinson (edited 07-23-2006).] [This message has been edited by bill robinson (edited 07-23-2006).] [This message has been edited by bill robinson (edited 07-23-2006).]
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Joined: Jan 2009
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Bill.
You have it in the verses, they sing easily enough in my head, but your chorus, using only seven lines needs a rhyme with 'roll' to bring it all together IMO.
Check your chorus out and you will see what I mean.
Douglas
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Hi Pete Thanks for the look and for the suggestion. I thought it might need some reinforcement. Something like that as a bridge, maybe. May use some of it iffin' ya don't mind. Yes George and Hank were known for cheating songs. Lots of sad songs also. Usually it seems anyone wanting to refer to sad songs those two are the chosen ones, lol ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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Joined: Jul 2010
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Definite Foot-Tapper, Bill!~
Sug: "Gonna HIT A PAWN SHOP/
HOCK THIS Weddin' Ring" might be More Realistic? Perhaps "Take MY Cash..." too!
Definitely a Pick-Me-Upper Tune..."KUDOS" & Good Luck wit it, Amigo!
Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
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Thanks Doug I know most folks don't like seven line chorus's and think you need a rhyme there. I tend to use seven line chorus's now and then. I also sometimes like to let my hook stand on it's own, without a rhyme. I think it often makes it stronger. I am trying some music to it now. I'll see how it sounds. Problem is I don't really know how to do rock n roll. Maybe more rockabilly, but, I am not very good at that either, LOL ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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Pete I added a bridge. Used your idea, sorta. I wasn't to fond on the constant ache/break rhyme. Thanks for the suggestion ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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Hi Stan A 'KUDO' from Stan will usually brighten my day. Thanks for the look. Now, I'll look at your ideas. See if I can make them fit. Like the Pawn shop idea but it's kinda predictable. I thought the image of the guy holding an auction at the bar for the ring was kinda unique. ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart [This message has been edited by bill robinson (edited 07-23-2006).]
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Bill, you did it! This is great. I did hear music--but the chorus as I heard it needed an extra half-line. (Being old-fashioned, I tend to go for either 6-liners or 8-liners.) My suggestion--as usual, do with as you wish--would be: Ch Don’t want to hear George Jones Or Hank'S country blues Play ME a song that’s got some rhythm I wore my dancin’ shoes Gonna dance away my heartbreak With some good ol’ rock n roll I’ve got a foot stompin’ heartache IN MY SOUL. Nice job. Joe www.soundclick.com/bands/7/joewrabek_music.htm
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Hi Joe Good to hear from you. I started this one many moons ago after you suggested the hook. I figured it could be done. I wrote a few lines and got stuck. I guess it had to bounce around in my head for a while. Thanks for the suggestions on the chorus. That half line might just round it out..Problem is I have no idea how to do rock or rockabilly and that's what this one needs. I'm gonna try tho, LOL what they gonna do?.....shoot me ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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Hi Calvin Thanks for the look I agree the chorus is ok as is, but, I tried it with Joes suggestion and I thing adding the half line might give it that something extra. We'll see. Thanks. ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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Hi Bill, I somehow assumed this was on your site, but didn't see it. This one reads good enough. I did listen to "Front Porch Swing" while there, and I throughly enjoyed it. Totally sweet and relaxing. Got a great image of the snaggletooth kid stealing a peck from Becky! ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) Ben
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Hi Bill
I'm wondering if you might try as you work with the music to switch the first three lines. Just think it might be a stronger opening line. Just my spin. : ) jm
Sun’s goin down my side of town
I’m headed for the neon lights
To lay some dancin’ down
I’m feelin’ sad I’m feelin’ blue
I need some rock n roll
To get over loosing you
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Hi Bill,
Maybe in chorus you could have last line say "down deep in my soul". Also in bridge you use line "got a foot stompin' heartache" which is also in your chorus which I thought was a no-no. I thought the bridge shouldn't have any of the same lines in chorus or verses, or am I wrong here?
Best,
Lynn
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Bill, I could send you something.if you want (or would like). You'd want to take real musicians and put real music to it, of course. And what I'd do would probably come out way more country than it needs to be. I was just feeling confident--I just set somebody else's lyrics to music, and it came out a really raunchy barroom blues, and they liked it. I do think this one's got commercial potential, if you could only knock the right person upside the head with it and get their attention. Joe www.soundclick.com/bands/7/joewrabek_music.htm
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Serious Contributor
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Hi, Bill -
Here's another try. keep or sweep.
Ch
Don’t want to hear George Jones
Or Hank cryin’ country blues
LET ME LOSE MYSELF IN THE BACKBEAT
WEAR OUT my dancin’ shoes
Gonna dance away my heartbreak
With some good ol’ rock n roll
I’ve got a foot stompin’ heartache
(in my soul)
Good luck with it. cue
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Hi Ben Thanks for taking the time to check out my songs. Front Porch Swing is one of my favorites. No music for this one yet. Gonna have to work on it ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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Hi Joice. Ya know I sat and stared at the opening verse for a long time trying to decide if I liked it or not. I decided I liked what I wrote but something bothered me about it. You might have given me the answer thanks ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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Hi Lynn Nope. You ain't wrong. It is usually not a good idea to have anything in the bridge that copies something from the verse or chorus. Maybe I'll think on it. Actually I am thinking of the instrumental lead break being done before the bridge. That way it won't follow to close and the line may not be a problem. ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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Hi Joe If you have something in mind I'd like to hear it. Seems everything has to be country pop these days. I don't have the foggiest idea how to approach this one. I think it might be the first song I'd be willing to pay for a demo if I knew how to pitch it, LOL But Pineyfest is next week. don't think I can put something together by then. ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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Hi Cue Thanks for the suggestion That's a good line. I like the hard consonant sounds of it and the B-B alliteration. (if that's what it is. I get so confused with them big words) Don't know if I'll use it but, I like it. ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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One question for everyone As I read this one I see two lines that I know have been used in other songs Brooks and Dunn...neon moon "when the sun goes down on my side of town. another is "Don't want to hear George Jones" I don't know what song it was but I do remember the line. This song does not resemble them in any other way, but I am wondering. Is this a problem? ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson www.dreamqueststudio.com Bill Live with a song in your heart
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Bill: The line is "Let me hear some Jones." I forget which interchangeable Stetsoned One sang it, but it shouldn't matter anyway. When I sang it on tape, it came out "Don't want George Jones." (I needed fewer syllables.) I sent you a file, by the way. Thanks for the opportunity to play with this. Neat song. Joe www.soundclick.com/bands/7/joewrabek_music.htm P.S. "Tearjerker Slump" sounds like a good title, too. Needs a song to go with it. [This message has been edited by roxhythe (edited 07-24-2006).]
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