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#433245 06/03/06 10:23 PM
Joined: Nov 2001
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Reconciliation (C)2006
Kevin Tinbergen

(V1)
Years go by
and anger fades
Wisdom's gained
from mistakes made
I'd use you
to better myself
Is it selfish
to improve upon one's self

(Rise)
It took me decades to see
There's a lot of you in me

(CH)
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. A conversation
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. Reconciliation

(V2)
In your flaws
found some answers
To questions I've
struggled with for years
One phone call
a few words said
Was all it took
to ease some fears

(Rise)
It took me decades to see
There's a lot of you in me

(CH)
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. A conversation
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. Reconciliation

(Bridge)
Exhausted from expectation
I'd settle for an explanation
Or some kinds words thrown my way
Of how you thought of me each day

(CH)
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. A conversation
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. Reconciliation

[This message has been edited by krtinberg (edited 06-04-2006).]

#433246 06/04/06 01:55 PM
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HI There

This almost seems too personal. If I were in the audience, I'd be wondering where the relationship is at while the singer is singing.

Would you be able to write something from an objective position on this subject? Just my spin : ) jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

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#433247 06/04/06 02:01 PM
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Hey,

I could make the song seem less attached and about random people but I've always connected with songs that are personal in nature.. I find the added realism and emotion is what sets them apart from something written in a generalized way..
Thanks for having a look at this one [Linked Image]

Later,
Kevin

#433248 06/04/06 02:03 PM
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Kevin,

The rhyming and structure is great. However, I agree with Joyce, there's a lot of questions going thru my mind as I read it.

In V1, the first four lines are good. The last four seem to change the subject. How would you use the person. Do they have money? Or are you saying compare yourself to them and learn how to change yourself for the better?


In V2, "...ease my fears". What fears? Maybe a verse about what happened would clear things up in my mind.

#433249 06/04/06 02:35 PM
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Hey Peaden,

The last four lines are meant to say he'd improve myself by using the other as an example hence the rise saying it took a while to see but I see a lot of you in me..

As for the fears part everyone who struggles with questions in there lives and come to find some answers have certain fears raised by those questions put to rest.. That's why I placed that line at the end signifying once he got that call and learned some of the answers he was seeking it quelled a lot of those fears that he had..

Hope that helps,
Kevin

#433250 06/04/06 02:41 PM
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Kevin,
Like Joice said seems real personal. I'll offer up a couple line changes but wouldn't wanna tear apart your emotional thought process. Is it meant to be commercial? or just gettin' off your chest?
All the best... Moker


Quote
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by krtinberg:
Reconciliation (C)2006
Kevin Tinbergen

(V1)
Years go by
and anger fades
Wisdom's gained
from mistakes made
I'VE used THE TIME
to better myself
STRUGGLED SOME TOO
WITH MY LOVE UPON THE SHELF

(Rise)
It took me SO LONG to see
There's a lot of you in me

(CH)
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. A conversation
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. Reconciliation

(V2)
In LIFE'S flaws
found some answers
To questions I've
struggled with for years
HOPING YOU WOULD call
WITH KIND words said
TWas all it'D take
to ease aWAY my fears

(Rise)
It took me SO LONG to see
There's a lot of you in me

(CH)
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. A conversation
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. Reconciliation

(Bridge)
Exhausted from expectation
I'd settle for an explanation
Or some kinds words thrown my way
Of how you thought of me each day

(CH)
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. A conversation
I'm open for.. I'm open for
I'm open for.. Reconciliation
</font>


Just suggestions mind you,and I felt the pain in this one as I was just tryin' to help a little... When it's Real..We all can Feel...
Good Luck with it...Moker

#433251 06/04/06 03:57 PM
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Hi Kevin,
Put together pretty tight.
Like Rebecca, I have a little problem with the last 4 lines of V 1, in that "useing" someone, most always has a negative aspect to it. How are they going to better themselves? At the other persons expense? Some thoughts on that V--
(V1)
Years go by
and anger fades
Wisdom's gained
from mistakes (I've)made
(Use your ways)
to better (my own)
Is it selfish
to improve upon one's self

By using "I've" in line 4, thought you might get by without it in line 5. Could make it -
"I'd use your ways" if you could stand the extra syl.
Just thoughts anyway K O S
Wy


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