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#410002 - 07/18/05 11:24 PM Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
Joined: Jul 2005
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Lazy SOB Offline
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Bellingham
Hey, I finished another song! I was inspired by my board name to write this particular song. It's really more for personal and humorous reasons than commercial, and although it's influenced by my own behavior it is not 100% autobiographical.

Lazy SOB

v1
I'm a man of simple pleasures
I'm a man who likes his fun,
I only work enough to pay my bills
And then back home I run.

v2
To my satellite dish and hot tub
To my 52-inch TV,
And to all my good friends waiting
With an ice-cold beer for me.

v3
Now frozen meals and take-out pizza
Are the only things I eat,
And every chair I own reclines
That includes my toilet seat,

v4
I think my ex-wife said it best
As she was packing up to leave
I'm a pleasure-lovin', good-for-nothin'
Lazy SOB.

Chorus;
So climb those corporate ladders, boys,
And make those 10-year plans,
And increase those stock portfolios
'Cause I don't give a damn,
I don't have much in the bank
But I've got the priceless memories,
Of a pleasure-lovin', good-for-nothin'
Lazy SOB.

v5
Now with sex I like the bottom
And I let the woman drive,
It's far less work for me
And I can just enjoy the ride.

v6
But relationships are work
So they are clearly not for me,
Cause I'm a pleasure-lovin', good-for-nothin
Lazy SOB.

Chorus:
So climb those corporate ladders, boys,
And make those 10-year plans,
And increase those stock portfolios
'Cause I don't give a damn,
I don't have much in the bank
But I've got the priceless memories,
Of a pleasure-lovin, good-for-nothin'
Lazy SOB.

v7
Now my parents worked hard all their lives
And rarely took a break,
They tried to pass this on to me
But it just didn't take,

v8
"Cause I'm an abberation
I'm the fruit of mutant genes,
I'm a pleasure-lovin', good-for-nothin'
Lazy SOB

So climb those corporate ladders, boys,
And make those 10-year plans,
And increase those stock portfolios
'Cause I don't give a damn,
I don't have much in the bank
But I've got the priceless memories,
Of a pleasure-lovin', good-for-nothin'
Lazy SOB.

#410004 - 07/19/05 12:57 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Bellingham
Thanks for the suggestions, Wirdaz. I tend to run a lot with the word "now" at the beginning of verses and it's a tough habit to break. As for verse 5, it's funny how I never perceived it that way, but it's as clear as day to me now that you've pointed it out. That's why I love these boards. I will definitely work on changing that line. Thanks again for your help!

#410005 - 07/19/05 01:27 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Emily Sanders Offline
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Hi, Lazy,

This lyric is fun and pretty entertaining...I found myself reading it with anticipation ! [Linked Image]
I love the chorus!

I agree with Wirdaz' comments...

The song seemed a bit long to me...thought you could make it work without verse 5 and 6...even though those are pretty clever [Linked Image]

Lazy, your profile says that you are a correction officer - hardly a "lazy" type of profession [Linked Image]

I look forward to reading more of your lyrics!

Emily
emilysanders.net

http://cdbaby.com/cd/emilysanders

http://www.towerrecords.com/product.aspx?pfid=CDB0893500012

#410006 - 07/19/05 01:57 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Bellingham
Thanks for the kind words, Emily. Yeah, I'm a Correction Officer, and I use writing weird songs as sort of a balancing agent. I always run a little long on the word count, and it is a continuing struggle of mine to try and be more concise. Thanks for your help.

#410007 - 07/19/05 07:46 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Calvin Offline
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Hello SOB,

I also enjoyed your lyrics.
Cleverly done.

good stuff here...
And every chair I own reclines
That includes my toilet seat,

Have a good day !

Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewartmusic.htm

#410008 - 07/19/05 08:34 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Thanks Calvin. I thought of that particular line while I was using it, if you know what I mean. Take care.

#410009 - 07/20/05 01:24 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D) Offline
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HiDee Lazy!

Laughed mah A off on this'n...& "KUDOS" for what sure IS a "Commercial Lyric", Bro!

My head melody kept wantin' a pair of Syllables before "Lazy"...since it'll require a Long HOLD...as-sung..otherwise, JMO. So I'd suggest "DOGGONE Lazy SOB" (K-O-S) & no holds needed.

Good Luck with this Good'n...AND that Reclinin' Toilet Seat! ;-)>

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

#410010 - 07/20/05 01:39 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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cody sloan Jr Offline
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Hi Lazy,loved it.Great lyric,needed the laugh.Have a great week.

#410011 - 07/20/05 01:48 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Samuel Harris Offline
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I think the guy in this song wouldn't work hard enough to complete this song so I doubt you are that lazy. The lines that won me over are, "And every chair I own reclines
That includes my toilet seat". I don't know where the market is these days for songs this this. I listened to "The streak" the other day. I hadn't heard it in 20 years or so and I was amazed at how well written in really is. And the production was top notch. Sometimes we dismiss novelty songs as something trivial but I think they are hard to write well. Your chorus, I think, is right on target. Hat off to you. Good luck with it.


"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein
#410012 - 07/20/05 03:44 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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bheck68 Offline
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Nice work Lazy. I really like v8 even though "aberration" seems a little out of tone w/the rest. Aberration is kinda latinate and technical sounding for the rest of the voice. What about "I'm a departure from the norm, the frut of mutant genes"? I like the internal rhyme on "fruit of mutant genes" very nice.

On length if you have commercial plans, you may need to cut a verse or two. Don't know what you have in mind for tempo/timing but depending on how you structure this it may need some trimming. You could cut v5 and v6 if you find the need to prune for length and I think it would still work, although these two verses together are hilarious.

I love it! Hope this helps.

BH

#410013 - 07/20/05 05:34 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Wow guys, you really made my day. I figured that this song had worn out it's welcome and was done. TampaStan, thanks for the kind words and I will definitely consider adding a couple of syllables to the main line. I agree, and thus far I have been using the hold. Cody, thanks for the good word as well and you've have already helped ensure that I do have a good week. Nashville Cat, I am certainly old enough to remember Ray Stevens and "The Streak" very well, in fact I even participated in this craze a bit when it was all the rage. My sense of humor steers me frequently towards novelty songs and I agree with you, they are always a hit or miss endeavor in the biz. Kudos again, by the way, on your Christmas song. It really knocked my heart out. Bheck, I appreciate your comments on the last verse, and I agree with them, but it was just a case of loving a line so much that I couldn't change it. That's probably the hardest thing for all of us, to sacrifice a line that we love for the greater good of the song. Thanks for your comments.

#410014 - 07/21/05 12:08 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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java Offline
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hamilton
hey lazy nice write I'm not much into songs like this but this is catchy good luck with it

#410015 - 07/21/05 10:49 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Paul T Wentworth Offline
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Phoenixville, PA
This is way cool! SOB.... The meter stays in the pocket and never strays. Gives it a real bouncy rhythm feel to it. Good work.

I think you can squeeze verse 6 a little harder to get more humor out of it. Lte's see what could you do???

How about.....

v6
But relationships take too much time
It don't leave no time to be
A pleasure-lovin', good-for-nothin, lazy SOB.


Good luck and a great song!...Paul

[This message has been edited by Paul T Wentworth (edited 07-21-2005).]

#410016 - 07/21/05 11:10 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Joanne Lurgio Offline
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RI, USA
Hey there Lazy -
This is SUCH a guy song! Man, I can just see him now [Linked Image]
Great Job!
Joanne


------------------

#410017 - 07/21/05 04:43 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Hi Java. I appreciate your comments, especially considering that this, as you admit, is not one of "your kind of songs." You're not alone in this respect, all the women in my life agree with you.

Thanks, Paul. With your permission, I am now officially "stealing" your line. That line needed a little more gas and with the price I'm currently paying at the pumps I need all the help I can get.

Hi Joanne. You're absolutely right,this is a classic man's song, but men certainly have no patent on the fine art of laziness. Maybe my next challenge will be to write this song from a female point of view. What fun! Good luck to you.

#410018 - 07/21/05 05:01 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Bobbie Gallup (D) Offline
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Nashville, TN, USA
Howdy Lazy...

I think this is an absolute HOOT!! I think I know you...or at least a bunch of your cousins!!

I am generally very cautious about song length..and it COULD be an issue with this. HOWEVER...I hear this as being a very bouncy uptempo thing so I honestly do not think you are really going to have a problem with the timing on this. With the right music...no one is going to care one bit about how long it is because they'll be waiting to hear that next verse.

I have an idea for you that may make that V5 more radio friendly and solve your bottom issue. [Linked Image] One of those things where you don't need to SAY what you are meaning directly. Folks'll 'get it' when they hear it.

I never cared to be on top
Prefer to let the woman drive,
It's far less work for me
And I can just enjoy the ride.

All in all...I love this!! [Linked Image] [Linked Image]

That toilet seat line is priceless!!

Bobbie

PS...noticed a YODASPEAK line:
I only work enough to pay my bills
And then back home I run. (then I run back home)
Maybe consider:
Then HEAD home when I'M DONE

[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 07-21-2005).]


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

Gallup 'n Dawg Music
#410019 - 07/21/05 10:29 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Hi Bobbi. Thanks for all the time and attention to detail that you've given this song. I am a little grammatically challenged from time to time and I always appreciate the help. My concern with the re-do of v1 is that by taking out the Yoda speak, you also lose the word "run" which implies more anxiousness to get home than the re-worked version. Besides, a little Yoda speak from time to time is a nice way to flavor a song as long as the violation of the language is not too severe. As for the re-working of the "sex" verse, I agree completely that a being little less obvious if often a better way to go. The revision that I have already installed goes like this:

With sex I offer up the keys
And let the woman drive,
It's far less work for me
And I can just enjoy the ride.

I could change the word "sex" to "love," but I'm not sure that I want to leave both of them out, especially since it leads in from the chorus. What do you think? Anyway, I think your stuff is awesome and thanks for carin'.

#410020 - 07/22/05 03:44 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Bobbie Gallup (D) Offline
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Nashville, TN, USA
Howdy Lazy (LOL) I just can't bring myself to use the rest of your name. [Linked Image]

I still think using the word "sex" is too much of an unnecessary direct hit. Let people figure it out. You really do not need to say the word.

The reason I suggested you take out the word RUN is because this is about a guy who calls himself a Lazy SOB. Would that guy be motivated enough to RUN anywhere? It is, of course, always up to you..but think that is a rather compelling reason to dispense with the 'run' idea. LOL is JMO though. If you decided to keep the RUN word, you could use it instead of where I suggest HEAD...then you would also have some internal rhyme in that line.
Then RUN home when I'M DONE

I also just realized something else. Your verses 4, 6 & 8 are actually serving as BUILDS rather than verses. That means they will need different music because they incorporate the advance notice of the hook.

This one is definitely worth tweaking till it hollers. It is that good IMO.

Bobbie



[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 07-22-2005).]


They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you.

Gallup 'n Dawg Music
#410021 - 07/22/05 05:55 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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bob2 Offline
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Have you been peekin' in my windows? (-8

Fine example of crafty songwriting. I agree that leaving out the word "sex" would serve the commercial interest of the song. Sad but true IMHO.

Thanks for the chuckles and for sharing your talent.

------------------
bob

Things famous people have said to me:
"Use your imagination, you'll get the picture" - The Late Frank Zappa


bob

"The beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad, so I had one more for dessert." -- KK
#410022 - 07/22/05 06:18 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Hi Lazy SOB. Great song. The verses are strong. I had some meter trouble with the chorus that would be solved if you omitted "stock" and "priceless". You could eliminate "sex" with "Making love - I like the bottom."

#410023 - 07/22/05 06:42 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Teri Foreman-Black Offline
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Oh sheesh! This is too great! Lots of good advice already, but maybe "When loving, I offer up the keys..." I agree: "sex" is too overt.

I do think one of our lovely macho male country artists could pull this off commercially!

Hey Lazy, keep on writing!

#410024 - 07/22/05 06:58 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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Diane Ewing Offline
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Great words SOB!! I agree with Bobbi
about leaving out the word sex. It's
more interesting when it's implied.

This is the first lyric I can remember that
mentions a toilet seat without being crude.

What a laugh I got from this!

Diane


Diane Ewing
#410025 - 07/23/05 10:10 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
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frahmes Offline
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frahmes  Offline
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 781
Nakuru, Kenya
Hey Sob

I think Lazy guys are hardworking in some way!!! You got me sobbing all the way with laughter. Know what..I see a potentially commercial hit Rock song here. Is this rock?

Cheers and goodluck.

------------------
frankie


frankie
#410026 - 07/23/05 11:15 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 72
Lazy SOB Offline
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Lazy SOB  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 72
Bellingham
Hi Bobbi; After much consideration, I agree, the word "sex" needs to come out. I appreciate your help.

Hi Summeyo: Nice to meet ya' and based on your suggestion, I tried "makin' love" in the lyrics when I sang the song and worked just great. The new verse now stands at:

When makin' love I offer up the keys
And let the woman drive,
It's far less work for me
And I can just enjoy the ride.

Thanks for your help and good luck with your own writin'!

Hi Bob! I appreciate your input. The collective opinion definitely came in strongly towards axing the word "sex" and it has helped me a lot. Thanks for the kind words.

Hi Teri: Thanks for your supportive words as well. If you happen to know of a macho male country singer lookin' for a song let me know because my singing has that sort of fingernails-on-the-chalkboard effect on people.

Hi Frahmes. I wrote this song as an upbeat country song, but I've learned as a songwriter not to be too pidgeon holed in my intentions with a song. If someone wanted to make this a rock song I would certainly entertain that conversation. Good luck to you and thanks for the favorable comments.

#410027 - 07/23/05 11:19 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,075
BobbyJoe Offline
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BobbyJoe  Offline
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,075
Nashville
Very entertaining and well written, Lazy SOB. [Linked Image] Be careful on the bottom, though; that's how you f*** up. [Linked Image]

------------------
BOBBYJOE DEMOS

Think loose, write tight.

"Human speech is like a cracked kettle on which we tap crude rhythms for bears to dance to, while we long to make music that will melt the stars." - Flaubert


BOBBYJOE DEMOS

Think loose, write tight.

"Human speech is like a cracked kettle on which we tap crude rhythms for bears to dance to, while we long to make music that will melt the stars." - Flaubert
#410028 - 07/23/05 11:23 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 72
Lazy SOB Offline
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Lazy SOB  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 72
Bellingham
Good stuff Bobby Joe. Sounds like a great punchline for another song that will have a hard time makin' it onto the radio, but those are among my favorite to write. Thanks for the comments!

#410029 - 07/25/05 04:09 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 346
Nick Holbrook Offline
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Nick Holbrook  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2004
Posts: 346
West TX
You really are a Lazy SOB.... haha. I loved the read. I agree with 98% of what's mentioned above. I do think that sex really needs to go. Keith Anderson's song Pickin' Wildflowers hits on that subject and he say "get a little piece on earth". You don't have to be direct and it's way more commercial without it. Simply say (( I really like the bottom, Like to let the woman drive )) or something to that effect. I can guarantee you that this would make it on Sirius or XM, even if it didn't make it on the beauracratic FM BS. Keep the creative juices flowing and try to make us laugh a little more often.

Nice Write.

See ya when I make it,

Nick

#410030 - 07/25/05 05:16 AM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 72
Lazy SOB Offline
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Lazy SOB  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 72
Bellingham
Hi Nick. I'm a little new on these boards and still getting a chance to meet everyone and all. I appreciate your comments and your vote of confidence in the song and we'll see what kind of response it gets when I start shoppin' it around. Good luck to you!

#410031 - 07/27/05 05:00 PM Re: Lazy SOB (Theme Song)  
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 462
KathyW Offline
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KathyW  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 462
Rochester, Wa. USA
Enjoyable read! commercial value for sure!


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