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#403473 04/10/05 06:48 AM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
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Then In A Clearing

there was a time
i saw Shakespeare in your eyes
a mid summers night dream
under tangerine skylines

a puff of smoke
a cloud unforseen floats
invisible vapors hover
a feather pillow is soaked

with four walls my boundaries
the voices are threatening
i hear you call out my name
the echo is deafening

curled, bound by this flesh i adorn
haunted by this timeless, endless scorn
my doubts in dire need of escape
an evil canvas had been callously drawn

then in a clearing
i saw you nearing
was it a mirage
some Avant-guard collage
like a mystical genie you appeared
and when i wished upon my scars
you magically healed the carnage
with a calming all knowing massage

with four walls my boundaries
the voices are threatening
i hear you call out my name
the echo is deafening

just when i thought there was no hope for my sorrow
you came along and gave to me tomorrow

© 2005 by rittman

® 2005 by random noise music

------------------
http://www.ampcast.com/music/26305/artist.php



[This message has been edited by sweetjoyce (edited 04-10-2005).]

#403474 04/10/05 02:55 PM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 842
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Posts: 842
I like this one

good language

I like the tangerine skyline dealy
and all of the second stanza thingy
and the sorrow/tomorrow watchmacallit

live long and prosper
adios


Rockito Ergo Sum
#403475 04/11/05 03:31 AM
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thanks rocking man

glad you enjoyed

how's things

you graduate yet

how's the band doing?

#403476 04/11/05 04:10 AM
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things are alright
I am slightly graduated...
... don't ask me to explain
but yeah mostly graduated

many bands have come and gone and now I just play my guitar all on my lonesome.


Rockito Ergo Sum
#403477 04/11/05 01:11 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 587
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Posts: 587
Hi Rittman,

Gorgeous language in this one, reads like poetry. I'm not sure how music would work with it but the lyric can stand on its own.

Best,
Rachel


http://www.broadjam.com/rachelkerr

As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do. ~Zachary Scott
#403478 04/12/05 12:58 AM
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Thanks Rachel

most kind of you to say


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