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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 30
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 30 |
I LOOK FOR YOU (c)2005 (1) I walk the night, Searching for you, I'll walk the streets, Oh I gotta find you. This empty bed, Won't let me rest, Out in the dark, Who would ever have guessed. That I'd look for you, That I'd look for you... (2) I wanna know, Just how you feel, If things we said, Was a joke or for real. Our angry words, Cut very deep, Can we forgive, Will you come home to sleep. And I look for you, And I look for you... (break) Maybe when I find you, You'll be dancin'. Maybe you'll be in a restaurant, With someone else. Maybe you have started a brand new life, While I look for you, While I look for you... (3) I need to have, Another chance, A chance to love, And a chance at romance. I shouldn't be, So unhappy, Life is too short, I won't be so lonely. So I look for you, So I look for you...
[This message has been edited by troubadour (edited 11-29-2005).]
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 30
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 30 |
and of course everything I post turns into a paragraph! sorry!
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,117
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,117 |
Hi
Just go to the Edit button, then when you see your message, hit Enter at the end of each line
annie P.S.
if you use Notepad it happnes your way
[This message has been edited by annie (edited 11-29-2005).]
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327 |
I like the "feel" of this, troubador. It seems like a little too much to have the break include the "I look for you" again. If it's the only contrast to the pattern of your verses, I think it should be a complete contrast. Just my two cents. Hope you edit it and fix the formatting. It's not hard, and you'll probably get more feedback if you do. - James ------------------ You can really only please one songwriter at a time. Might as well be yourself! :^) Samples of my music at www.soundclick.com/jamesmitchell.htm
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 30
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 30 |
well, I'm still lookin' for the "Edit button", don't seem to have one of those or it is hiding or disguised somewhere. Found the "Enter" key though. Perhaps I should wrap up this posting business....thank-you! all
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327 |
Look at your first post on this thread. See the little pencil in front of a piece of paper? That's the edit button. You're the only one allowed to edit your posts. In fact, if you just hold your pointer over that button you'll see it say, "Edit/Delete Message." Press on that button and up will come the post in a window. You can edit it by just going to the point in the text where there should be a line break and pressing the Enter key. Give it a try. We'll be here if you get stuck. - James [This message has been edited by JamesM (edited 11-29-2005).]
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,429
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,429 |
I like this,
the edit button is the Icon of pen on top of a piece of paper. It is towards the center, under the red bar that says topic. when you go to your particular post from the main board. hope this helps and I hope you don't pack it up so easily. I for one would like to see more.
------------------
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 30
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 30 |
Thank-you! very much! I feel so good now! Got the hang of it! I'm happy now! Thankx
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327 |
<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by troubadour: Thank-you! very much! I feel so good now! Got the hang of it! I'm happy now! Thankx</font> Woo-hoo! You go, Troubadour - Master of the Edit button. - James
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,579 Likes: 13
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 19,579 Likes: 13 |
Brian Austin Whitney Founder Just Plain Folks jpfolkspro@gmail.com Skype: Brian Austin Whitney Facebook: www.facebook.com/justplainfolks"Don't sit around and wait for success to come to you... it doesn't know the way." -Brian Austin Whitney "It's easier to be the bigger man when you actually are..." -Brian Austin Whitney "Sometimes all you have to do to inspire humans to greatness is to give them a reason and opportunity to do something great." -Brian Austin Whitney
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Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 1,327 |
Thanks for bumping this, Brian.
I was looking at this lyric this morning, troubadour, and it struck me how it's similar to a Stephen Sondheim song that was a fairly big hit - "Losing My Mind".
I don't know if you know it, but it starts out:
The sun comes up, I think about you, The coffee cup, I think about you. I want you so, It's like I'm losing my mind.
I think it's an excellent lyric, and yours has a lot of those same qualities - simple phrases with a direct connection to the gut.
I'm not sure the hook is well-tied to the lines that precede it, though. It kind of feels to me like it hangs out there by itself on most of the verses.
The lines leading up to the hook are very strong, though. Lots of emotion and a direct honesty to them.
I hope you record this and we get a chance to hear it.
- James
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 30
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 30 |
Dear Brian and James, Thank-you for the renewed interest in these lyrics. I have been gone due to a broken leg and am now just getting back on my feet again. Oh the pain of it all!!!
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