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Hi folks,

I think if this works at all, it'll probably have to be traditional country. Any suggestions are welcome.

Larry

© 2005 Lawrence W. Hunt

I've Got A Bone To Pick With You

We don't seem to talk the way we used to
We just bury all the hurt beneath thick skin
All those nights when we made up are distant mem'ries
But I'd sure like to visit them again

Chorus:
If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest
If your feelin's are feelin hurt, well mine are too
You may think that I ain't listenin' but I'll try to do my best
I've got a bone to pick with you

Communication's like a two-lane highway
Respect the other side and you won't crash
I need to know what's weighin' on your mind today
But I know that you won't tell unless I ask

Chorus:
If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest
If your feelin's are feelin hurt, well mine are too
You may think that I ain't listenin' but I'll try to do my best
I've got a bone to pick with you

Bridge:

Silence may be golden, but it can be destructive too
So baby open up, let's talk about me and you

Chorus:
If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest
If your feelin's are feelin hurt, well mine are too
You may think that I ain't listenin' but I'll try to do my best
I've got a bone to pick with you



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Hi Larry,

Nice lyric, works for me [Linked Image]

Think about the chest/best lines.

May come up with something a little better?

If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest could work I guess but if itd on her (mind) she should spit it out) rather than (get it off her chest).

I know im nit pickin' [Linked Image]

Good Luck
Bill


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That's a good one, Larry. I like it. [Linked Image]

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Howdy Larry,

I like this one a lot...of course that didn't stop me from coming up with a few ideas for you to consider.

The biggest issue I saw here is that I think the hook makes the singer sound like he is on the offensive and being aggressive rather than trying to work together.

We don't seem to talk the way we used to DO
We just bury all the hurt beneath thick skin
All those nights when we CARED ENOUGH TO TALK THINGS THROUGH
But I'd sure like US to CARE THAT MUCH again

Chorus: I switched a couple of lines around on you.
If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest
You may think that I ain't listenin' but I'll do my best
If your feelin's are hurt, well SO ARE MINE
I've got a bone to pick with you (WE GOTTA START SOMEWHERE AND NOW IS THE TIME)

Bridge:
Silence may be golden, but it can DESTROY LOVE too
So baby open up, let's talk about me and you

All the best with this one. Nice song!

Hugs,
Bobbie


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This has a really good traditional feel. I could almost hear Randy Travis singing along. I love the hook, and I think you need to stick with keeping it as the last line of the chorus. I do, however, like the rest of Bobbie's suggestions. If anything else, you might dig a little deeper on that bridge. The rest is pretty shipshape. Nice atmosphere to the whole thing. I bet it would sing great.

Corey

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Hi Bill,

Glad you liked it. I was a little concerned about the "get it off your chest" line, but mostly because it might be a little cliche. I was really thinking about the old "get it off your chest line" you might use with someone if you knew something was bothering them, but they weren't talking about it. I'll give it some more thought when I try to wrap this one up.

Thanks for droppin' in,
Larry

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Hi Tricia,

Glad you enjoyed this one.

Larry

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Hi Bobbie,

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Your suggestions are always welcome. I'll give the hook line some thought, but I wanted it to sound a little aggressive. I viewed it as the singer being very frustrated over a communication breakdown between he/she and their better half. I was hoping the offer to have the singer's partner "get it off their chest" would soften the aggressiveness a little and maybe put it in the light of a desperate plea that we need to talk things out. I'll think about it some more, but I'm not sure I want to sacrifice the hook unless I get feedback that it's too cliche. Thanks for the visit. It's always good to hear from you.

Larry

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Hi Corey,

Sorry it took so long to respond. I've been out of town for a few days. Thanks for the visit and the comments. Man, I would love to hear Randy Travis sing this thing. That would make my day . . . or year. I think I am keeping the hook as the last line of the chorus, but I do like some of the other suggestions Bobbie made and I'll work them into a rewrite soon. Glad you liked this one.

Larry

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Hi Lawrence,

We don't seem to talk the way we used to
We just HIDE all the hurt beneath thick skin
THOSE TRYING TIMES we made up are distant mem'ries
But I'D SURE LIKE TO RE-LIVE ONE again

I could stand another go-round again.


I had to stop here Lawrence because the hook /title, though a good one, doesn't
seem to lead to the substance of its meaning.

"I've got a bone to pick with you"
implies more of a specific case that you have to discuss with her. . . whereas the song suggests just the general range of misunderstanding between two people.

Cheers, [Linked Image]
Terry

[This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 03-26-2005).]

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Hi Larry,

Since it's an important issue, thought I'd add my 2 cents. The hook just felt wrong to me reading it- it seems confrontational, and that's not the tone I'd go into a conversation like this with. So put me in Bobbie's column.

Bill


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I'm new on this forum, just joined today. I liked your song but felt as some of the others that "bone to pick with you" sounded like you were talking about one issue rather than the relationship as a whole. So...I kinda changed the chorus somewhat. Just a suggestion....

If there's somethin' on your mind,
There's somethin' on my mind, too
If your feelin's are feelin hurt,
Well mine are feeling hurt, too
You may think that I ain't listenin'
but Honey I'm trying my best
Sounds like we've got a lot'a things
we need to get off our chest

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The chorus is excellent. That woke me up a bit. LOL!!!

Chorus:
If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest
If your feelin's are feelin hurt, well mine are too
You may think that I ain't listenin' but I'll try to do my best
I've got a bone to pick with you

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Hi Terry,

Thanks for the read and the input. You know, I'm still wrestling with this tissue . . . of exactly what the "bone to pick" is about. When I wrote this, I viewed it as the problem the singer wanted to talk about (and assumed the partner did too), was that they don't talk anymore. I still look at it and wonder if that doesn't work. You know, let's get back where we talk about things and we can make any other problems go away. Maybe I'll have to give this some more thought. I appreciate your opinions and they will definitely be considered as I decide what to do with this one.

Larry

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Hi Larry,

Ah, I see. . . the "bone to pick" is almost
the LACK of bones BEING picked. . . no dialogue.

Terry

[This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 04-02-2005).]

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Hi Bill and Peaden,

Sorry it took to so long to reply. I've been out of town this week. I appreciate the time you took to read and reply. As with Terry, I see your point, but I'm still not totally convinced the song wouldn't work as is (or with some modification). I hope I explained why I feel that way in my response to Terry's post. I am still thinking about it though, and I sincerely thank your for your input. In the end, you may be right and I may have just been in a fog somewhere when I wrote this one.

Regards to both,

Larry

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Hi Happily,

Sorry I woke you up if you were having a nice nap. [Linked Image] Seriously, I'm glad you liked the chorus. Come back and visit anytime. Oh, and since you appear to be new to this board . . . welcome aboard. I'll look forward to seeing some of yours up here.

Larry

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