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Hi folks, I think if this works at all, it'll probably have to be traditional country. Any suggestions are welcome. Larry © 2005 Lawrence W. Hunt I've Got A Bone To Pick With You We don't seem to talk the way we used to We just bury all the hurt beneath thick skin All those nights when we made up are distant mem'ries But I'd sure like to visit them again Chorus: If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest If your feelin's are feelin hurt, well mine are too You may think that I ain't listenin' but I'll try to do my best I've got a bone to pick with you Communication's like a two-lane highway Respect the other side and you won't crash I need to know what's weighin' on your mind today But I know that you won't tell unless I ask Chorus: If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest If your feelin's are feelin hurt, well mine are too You may think that I ain't listenin' but I'll try to do my best I've got a bone to pick with you Bridge: Silence may be golden, but it can be destructive too So baby open up, let's talk about me and you Chorus: If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest If your feelin's are feelin hurt, well mine are too You may think that I ain't listenin' but I'll try to do my best I've got a bone to pick with you ------------------ www.taylormadesongs.com
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Joined: Jan 2002
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Hi Larry, Nice lyric, works for me Think about the chest/best lines. May come up with something a little better? If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest could work I guess but if itd on her (mind) she should spit it out) rather than (get it off her chest). I know im nit pickin' Good Luck Bill ------------------ Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.
Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.
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That's a good one, Larry. I like it. ------------------ "Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." -- Les Brown http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/triciabakermusic.htm
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Howdy Larry,
I like this one a lot...of course that didn't stop me from coming up with a few ideas for you to consider.
The biggest issue I saw here is that I think the hook makes the singer sound like he is on the offensive and being aggressive rather than trying to work together.
We don't seem to talk the way we used to DO We just bury all the hurt beneath thick skin All those nights when we CARED ENOUGH TO TALK THINGS THROUGH But I'd sure like US to CARE THAT MUCH again
Chorus: I switched a couple of lines around on you. If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest You may think that I ain't listenin' but I'll do my best If your feelin's are hurt, well SO ARE MINE I've got a bone to pick with you (WE GOTTA START SOMEWHERE AND NOW IS THE TIME)
Bridge: Silence may be golden, but it can DESTROY LOVE too So baby open up, let's talk about me and you
All the best with this one. Nice song!
Hugs, Bobbie
They'll tell you success in the music biz is all about who you know...but the truth is...it's about who knows you. Gallup 'n Dawg Music
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This has a really good traditional feel. I could almost hear Randy Travis singing along. I love the hook, and I think you need to stick with keeping it as the last line of the chorus. I do, however, like the rest of Bobbie's suggestions. If anything else, you might dig a little deeper on that bridge. The rest is pretty shipshape. Nice atmosphere to the whole thing. I bet it would sing great.
Corey
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Hi Bill, Glad you liked it. I was a little concerned about the "get it off your chest" line, but mostly because it might be a little cliche. I was really thinking about the old "get it off your chest line" you might use with someone if you knew something was bothering them, but they weren't talking about it. I'll give it some more thought when I try to wrap this one up. Thanks for droppin' in, Larry ------------------ www.taylormadesongs.com
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Hi Tricia, Glad you enjoyed this one. Larry ------------------ www.taylormadesongs.com
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Hi Bobbie, Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Your suggestions are always welcome. I'll give the hook line some thought, but I wanted it to sound a little aggressive. I viewed it as the singer being very frustrated over a communication breakdown between he/she and their better half. I was hoping the offer to have the singer's partner "get it off their chest" would soften the aggressiveness a little and maybe put it in the light of a desperate plea that we need to talk things out. I'll think about it some more, but I'm not sure I want to sacrifice the hook unless I get feedback that it's too cliche. Thanks for the visit. It's always good to hear from you. Larry ------------------ www.taylormadesongs.com
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Hi Corey, Sorry it took so long to respond. I've been out of town for a few days. Thanks for the visit and the comments. Man, I would love to hear Randy Travis sing this thing. That would make my day . . . or year. I think I am keeping the hook as the last line of the chorus, but I do like some of the other suggestions Bobbie made and I'll work them into a rewrite soon. Glad you liked this one. Larry ------------------ www.taylormadesongs.com
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Hi Lawrence, We don't seem to talk the way we used to We just HIDE all the hurt beneath thick skin THOSE TRYING TIMES we made up are distant mem'ries But I'D SURE LIKE TO RE-LIVE ONE again I could stand another go-round again. I had to stop here Lawrence because the hook /title, though a good one, doesn't seem to lead to the substance of its meaning. "I've got a bone to pick with you" implies more of a specific case that you have to discuss with her. . . whereas the song suggests just the general range of misunderstanding between two people. Cheers, Terry [This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 03-26-2005).]
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Hi Larry,
Since it's an important issue, thought I'd add my 2 cents. The hook just felt wrong to me reading it- it seems confrontational, and that's not the tone I'd go into a conversation like this with. So put me in Bobbie's column.
Bill
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I'm new on this forum, just joined today. I liked your song but felt as some of the others that "bone to pick with you" sounded like you were talking about one issue rather than the relationship as a whole. So...I kinda changed the chorus somewhat. Just a suggestion....
If there's somethin' on your mind, There's somethin' on my mind, too If your feelin's are feelin hurt, Well mine are feeling hurt, too You may think that I ain't listenin' but Honey I'm trying my best Sounds like we've got a lot'a things we need to get off our chest
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The chorus is excellent. That woke me up a bit. LOL!!!
Chorus: If there's somethin' on your mind, honey get it off your chest If your feelin's are feelin hurt, well mine are too You may think that I ain't listenin' but I'll try to do my best I've got a bone to pick with you
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Hi Terry, Thanks for the read and the input. You know, I'm still wrestling with this tissue . . . of exactly what the "bone to pick" is about. When I wrote this, I viewed it as the problem the singer wanted to talk about (and assumed the partner did too), was that they don't talk anymore. I still look at it and wonder if that doesn't work. You know, let's get back where we talk about things and we can make any other problems go away. Maybe I'll have to give this some more thought. I appreciate your opinions and they will definitely be considered as I decide what to do with this one. Larry ------------------ www.taylormadesongs.com
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Hi Larry,
Ah, I see. . . the "bone to pick" is almost the LACK of bones BEING picked. . . no dialogue.
Terry
[This message has been edited by Tall_Terry (edited 04-02-2005).]
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Hi Bill and Peaden, Sorry it took to so long to reply. I've been out of town this week. I appreciate the time you took to read and reply. As with Terry, I see your point, but I'm still not totally convinced the song wouldn't work as is (or with some modification). I hope I explained why I feel that way in my response to Terry's post. I am still thinking about it though, and I sincerely thank your for your input. In the end, you may be right and I may have just been in a fog somewhere when I wrote this one. Regards to both, Larry ------------------ www.taylormadesongs.com
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Hi Happily, Sorry I woke you up if you were having a nice nap. Seriously, I'm glad you liked the chorus. Come back and visit anytime. Oh, and since you appear to be new to this board . . . welcome aboard. I'll look forward to seeing some of yours up here. Larry ------------------ www.taylormadesongs.com
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