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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 3,027
Top 100 Poster
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OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 3,027 |
Please critique. Bouncy pop/rock.
Super Hero (Soaring Like a Bird)
Feeling like a zero, Want to be a hero. Read it in a comic book, Went to sew my cape. Found myself an angle, A web that I'll untangle-- A lady fair to rescue, I'll help that girl escape
Vile clutches of Superhuman mutants Get to be a nuisance. Someone's got to fight them, Someone's got to win. Someone's got to stop them, Someone's got to bop them. Someone's got to spoil their plot, And lock them up again.
Now watch me Soaring like a bird, Streaking like a plane, Leaping tall buildings with a bound-- Taking on all comers, Saving sexy stunners, making all the evil forces frown.
They're looking For a way to beat me, For a way to cheat me, For some kryptonite-ish trick To bring me to my knees. For a way to bend me, For a way to end me. I'll be snatching victory From the jaws of sure defeat.
You'll see me Soaring like a bird, Streaking like a plane, Leaping tall buildings with a bound-- Taking on all comers, Saving sexy stunners, Making all the evil forces frown. I'll bring them down, down, Down, down, down-- I'll bring them down!
Who knows what forces writhe in the soul Of a saint in a cape on a ledge in the darkness? Who knows what secrets lurk in my mind? But Mom's calling bedtime, so tune in next time--
When I'll be Soaring like a bird, Streaking like a plane, Leaping tall buildings with a bound. Taking on all comers, Saving sexy stunners, Making all the evil forces frown. I'll bring them down, down, Down, down, down-- I'll bring them down!
c2004 Skip Johnson
Note: A tribute to my sons comic book hero interests when they were growing up. Aimed at the "Calvin and Hobbs" interest group, with a kid's view of the world.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,430
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,430 |
Hmmph! This is pretty solid. I'm surprised I'm the first to reply. The only thoughts I have offhand are that the verses change slightly in rhyme scheme as the song progresses (there's "zero/hero", for instance, but no corresponding rhyme later on), and that there's nothing much that's new content-wise after the first chorus. But all in all, very nice job here. Your secular lyrics are the equal of your Christian ones. Anthony
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690 |
Hi Skip
I think it's cool to write a tribute to your kids, but this would really soar if it centered on video games instead of comic books; modernize it and you may have a hit!!!
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,534 Likes: 28
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 11,534 Likes: 28 |
Love Calvin & Hobbes and rued its slip into the past. Like this too.... neat adventure in the mind.
Ciao
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 202
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 202 |
Skip:
This is a fine piece, fun and light with a great theme.
Darby
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,857 Likes: 1
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