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Foray
by Sunset Poet - 04/24/24 08:09 AM
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Nameless As A Rose time is a contradiction it keeps moving foward it keeps on floundering boundaries connect boundaries seperate all is circumspect the day before blank the day after empty today she said no thanks favorite color black close my eyes time off the track and i wonder when the shade was pulled and i wonder how was i so fooled and i wonder about the ox and the mule somewhere a flower grows innocent, like a warm hello nameless as a rose time is a contradiction it keeps moving foward it keeps on floundering the day before blank the day after empty today she said no thanks who am i to argue who am i to debate when i don't have a clue about the will of fate somewhere a flower grows innocent, like a warm hello nameless as a rose © 2005 by ritt ® 2005 random noise music ------------------ http://www.ampcast.com/music/26305/artist.php
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Cool stuff Ritt.
This part is real nice and seems to be the most songlike to me.
"somewhere a flower grows innocent, like a warm hello nameless as a rose"
I was floundering a bit with the musical feel of the rest but then like the song says...."It had to be you"
Good work!
Eric
If you're going to judge someone, do it on the side of mercy.
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This is nice - kinda simple and sad.
My favourite part is the same as Calvin's.
Diane
Mz Bernie Taupin looking for her Elton John??
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Hi Diane and the unCalvin kanook
floundering is bugging me
do you two think "meandering" would be better?
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oops! -sorry Eric!
Meandering's good - or you could say
it keeps meandering forward
And then think of a different next line!
Mz Bernie Taupin looking for her Elton John??
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Great words. I love the first three lines: "time is a contradiction it keeps moving foward it keeps on floundering" The lyrics in general, I think are great. Mostly cuz they resonant with ME. But those first few lines really kicked me. -danj
-Dan
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Ritt - I love these lines:
the day before blank the day after empty
I think those lines could be the start of their own song. Kind of like a spinoff.
I also like the "and I wonder" verse
seperate should be "separate"
You have a unique way with words Ritt. I enjoyed this. Anne
Floundering makes me think of flopping around, like a fish out of water. Meandering is a more peaceful image, like a brook. So, your choice of words will depend on what image you're looking for.
[This message has been edited by Anne Meredith-Will (edited 01-07-2005).]
Anne M-W
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Classic SJ here
I'm with the Bemidji Babe on this ...if you want the meandering image, make the change... but given what you say...its a contradiction, methinks you want floundering as a contrast to moving forward.
Ciao
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Thanks again Diane
I think I'm going to stay with floundering as it does keep the intended meaning, besides it's Okeretta's wish...
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That's ok Ritt - I appreciate the importance of not crossing Okeretta!
Mz Bernie Taupin looking for her Elton John??
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Lots of good lines, Ritt. I hear this as rock! I especially like the hook. ------------------ "Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." -- Les Brown http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/triciabakermusic.htm
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Hello Ritt,
I enjoyed reading this & I especially like what Calvin said. He has good taste. Just messin' with ya Diane !
Calvin
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Thanks Danj
a vote for floundering!
Glad you enjoyed!
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Thanks Anne
sometimes i think it's words that have their way with me....
Glad you found lots to like...floundering it will be!
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Hey Big John V
glad you enjoyed!!!
Yeah floundering makes the most sense in context....so it stays!
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Thanks Randy Glad you liked, gonna go with floundering, i've been kanooked into it...
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Thanks Tricia Glad you enjoyed thinking more mellow actually....
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