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I'm ready to ride
© 2004 john voorpostel

I'm ready to ride
the whiskey’s taking me home
I’m bending hallelujahs
until I forget all I know
a glass full or five makes it
seem like a long time ago
so I’m bending hallelujahs
until I forget all that I know


I'm ready to ride
the whiskey’s bringing me sleep
I’m drinking glasses empty
drunkeness is blessed peace
bartender can I rest my head
for a moment right here
I’m drinking glasses empty
trying to get blessed drunk in peace

It’s a long long road
And I’m weary of this load
I’ve lost my friends and my wife is long long gone
Why do the good die young
Especially in my arms
I’m so tired, and I can’t go on


My ride's here
I’ve stocked up this motel room
I’m drinking bottles empty
I’ll welcome the darkness soon
if you’re reading this lonely note
then you’ll know where I’ve moved
I’m drinking bottles empty
I’ll welcome the darkness soon



[This message has been edited by John Voorpostel (edited 09-22-2004).]

HiDee BurleyBud'!

There's Instant Weirdness with the terms "I'm ready to RIDE" followed by "The Whiskey's takin' me HOME" {which feels a scosh Less-than-PC without a Designated Driver..heh-heh!} ;-)>

"Bending Hallelujas" is a New Expression to This Ol' Guy....dunno Exactly what it means, tho assume it means Raisin' Lotta Hell, Right?

V2 Line 4's got a Weird Scan..try "In my stupor there's peace" & it flows OK, IMO.

Last Line V1 & 2 could be pruned to scan smoother, again IMO, thusly: "'Til I forget all I know" and "Tryin' to let my stupor bring peace"

In what I think is Your Chorus (Labels sure Help, Amigo) I love the Couplet "Why do the good die young/especially in my arms?" YET..it, too..injects a BIG shot of Weirdness, when ya REALLY Think What It Means...

Last Verse, Last Line, suggest "In the Darkness..Soon" & there she is...Smoother.

All the Suggestions are K-O-S, & you're a Master of making the Unusual Song Sing, Amigo. I wish ya Good Luck with an Interesting, tho Slightly Depressin', Lyric.

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

Hi John

I'm kinda wonderin' about the "bending hallelujahs" line too. It's definitely a very deep song. I'd like to hear it.
The meter works well, good job.




------------------
Michelle
www.michellerichardsmusic.com
"Northern Girl With A Country Heart"

I'd really like to hear this... it reads well, but I'm certain this is one that would blossom with the right tune. I can't say I understand the 'hallelujahs' thing either, but it sounds pretty cool.

CP

Well it escqaped you three.... so its got to be back to the drawing board.


This guy's ride is towards suicide by drink.


Original story comes from a client who owned a motel. I came by there one day just as the ambulance was taking away the body of a middle aged woman whose family had deserted her. Down to her last dollars, she bought several bottles of booze and literally drank herself to death.


Not this is more common that I realized. In fact it happens regularly!


The bending hallelujahs is actually two meanings... one the reference to somehow "perverting" (bending) something sacred (life... a blessing etc) and another "bending elbows", an old expression for drinking... but again the hallelujah reference to also mean "a hit of alcoholic blessing"


Of course if you have to explain


Thanks Stan, Michelle and Corey.... and hope you all managed to avoid the worst of Ivan. That puppy was downright mean!


Ciao

I'm taking the bending hallelujahs as meaning a blessing in disquise. I'm not so sure if just because you have to explain it that it isn't an appropriate song...I loved this personally and it meant a whole lot to me. ..realistic too as you mentioned in your comment. It happens so often and not far from each one of us..not with just alcohol but with other substances too. Great song, Great Job for what it's worth!! I guess it's in the country genre that the song has to make sense throughout and to all who listen to it but maybe this one don't need to be country John! Best to you, Linda

Hey, John. Long time no critique! I actually thought this lyric was a little too straightforward compared to some of your other stuff. I too didn't understand "bending hallelujahs", but realized it could have a couple of different meanings. Besides that, I could've done without the "stupor" lines (especially with that specific word, which sounds too unconversational for a lyric). What's the old lyric adage? More show and less tell? Something like that. But all in all, I thought it was decent, and I like the concept and the title.

Hope I could help! I'm glad to be back on here. Now if only I can *stay* on....

Anthony

Hey John

maybe blending......anywho i had no problemma figuring out where this was going.

something bout chewing worms might be helpful,,,,,

Hey John...

On "Bending Halleljahs"...

It may be the best part of the piece....

Paul Simon was asked what the momma saw that was against the law in "Me and Julio"..his response..."I have no idea"

Paul McCartney plays a work tape of "Hey Jude" for Joh Lennon...when it comes to the part that says "The movement you need is on your shoulder" he quickly says "That means nothing at all..I'll take it out when I can think of something that makes sense and rhymes to put in there"

Lennon says "You'll do no such thing...it's the best line in the whole ****in' song"

Leave it !

Bob

Hello John,

Interesting subject & a good song.
I agree with John Lennon & Bob Young concerning a section of lyric that might possibly mean NOTHING.
As a matter of fact I have one I've been considering using in the future & now am exciting about showing it off.

Calvin

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewartmusic.htm

Hey John!

You know, the unnerving dark tone of this lyric is the real beauty here. As Stan said, having "whiskey" in close proximity to "ride" raises an alarm in a lot of people (as it should) which means you've successfully stirred something in your reader/listener... kinda the whole point in writing wouldn't you say?

As for politically-incorrectness... it would only be so if someone were foolhardy enough to take this character as a role model. Sadly, such things are why we have labels on curling irons telling us not to use them in the shower... The song needs the character not to be politically correct.

"Bending hallelujahs" is brilliant in it's own right as you've caused everyone who has read it to figure it out for themselves. It has a lot of power to make one think. Therefore, I must agree with young Mr. Young and say "keep it"!

I also really dig:

Why do the good die young
Especially in my arms

This is a winner, despite your main character being a loser... Can't wait to hear it!

Write ON!

Uncle Chuck

------------------
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm
http://www.chuckcrowe.com

Hi Linda, I don't do country

At least not in the traditional sense, though this guy's a close to a coherant "story" as I write... as Anthony points out.

And speaking of Anthony, note I took your suggestion to rid this of stupor and make it more straightforward (gasp )

Blending works Richard, I like it... though I will keep bending... and that worm My sister brought back a bottle of Mescal with a worm in it, which we commenced to chug and share at a party back in my university days. We all shouted at one guy "you swallowed the worm" which was a bad thing (and a lie I might add) as it all came back out...with chunky pieces


Hi Bob, and of course Samuel Becket famously said "If I knew who Godot was, I would have put it in the play" Thanks for the assessment and the stories. Neat to know. Validates all my "obscure du jours"

Hi Uncle Chuck
Thanks for the insight. And that line you mention... I had to put the justification in for his misery. I met a man some years back who was still haunted by the drowning death of his child... whom he carried out of the water in his arms. Cannot help but feel for him deeply.

And why wait? Capo up to the fourth..fingerpicking ready...

(Am)I'm ready to ride
the wh(Dm)iskey’s t(G)aking me h(Am)ome
I’m (F)bending hallelujahs
un (G)til I forget all I kn(Am)ow
a (Dm)glass full or five makes it
(G)seem like a long time ag(Am)o

now a walkdown from C to Am then to G and ending on Am
so I’m bending hallelujahs
until I forget all that I know

and the bridge is

It’s a (F)long long (G)road

now a walkdown from G to Em)
And I’m weary of this load

(C)I’ve lost my friends and my (F)wife is long long (G) gone
Why do the (F)good die (G)young

(repeat walkdown)
Especially in my arms
I’m so (C)tired, and I (G) can’t go (Am)on

Enjoy!

added

And I changed the last verse to start with

"my ride's here".... which is how it started when I originally wrote it...but the title is Warren Zevon" who had a song about what the grim reaper might be driving...so about death. More powerful...but I did not want to get too close... though I have now given in to get to the immediacy of this guy's demise.


[This message has been edited by John Voorpostel (edited 09-22-2004).]