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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Feb 2001
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I got a few critiques (at another site) that said my previous version of this was a little too harsh... that if I was going to joke about death, I needed to lighten it up a bit. Here's the re-do.
We're All Gonna Die ©2004 Corey Parkman
v1 Might have a moped wreck Might slip off a swayback Might get crushed by a stack of hundred dollar bills Might try to outrun it But the end is comin’ Maybe not Monday, but one of these days it will
Chorus We're all gonna die, so live it up Grab that cup of life and fill it up Dance a jig and don’t be shy Kiss the girls and make ‘em cry We're all gonna die, so live it up
v2 Maybe it’s cigarettes Maybe it’s fast Corvettes Maybe it’s too much sex will put you in your grave Clean livin’ still kills ya So do whatever thrills ya ‘Cause I’m here to tell you, you can’t keep it anyway
We're all gonna die, so live it up Grab that cup of life and fill it up Write your name on the overpass Tell the critics to kiss your ass We're all gonna die, so live it up
Bridge When my body has passed on Carve these words upon my stone Here he lies, he sure lived well Searched for Heaven and raised some hell
We're all gonna die, so live it up Grab that cup of life and fill it up Light it up, go down in flames Make ‘em all remember your name We're all gonna die, so live it up
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Joined: Jul 2003
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I'm not sure what a swayback is......maybe a camel???? How bout for the sack of rhyming: Expire like a cancelled check Keep or sweep. Either way this is fine writing. ------------------ "Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." -- Les Brown http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/triciabakermusic.htm
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Joined: Aug 2003
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Hi Corey,
Great rewrite! Heavy subject but you've lightened it up very well.
That's a good line Tricia gave you!
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Joined: Mar 2004
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Hey Cory
A wholesale re-write - you do .
This is much better IMO , like several new additions - these two lines the best :
clean livin' still kills ya so do whatever thrills ya
You can put that chain saw away and widdle if you like - but it's real close now .
Don
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Joined: May 2001
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Hi Corey, I haven't seen the original, so its all new to me and I like this'n. Only couple of meanings had me confused, ive never heard the expressions before. Might have a moped wreck Might slip off a swayback I really like this line:- Grab that cup of life and fill it up The word 'jig doesn't really grab me... but after a cup, I could imagine - cup, fill it till it overflows caviar and oysters till you overdose lol Maybe it’ll be cigarettes ( cuban cigars)? Maybe it'll be fast Corvettes Maybe it'll be too much sex that puts you in your grave Clean livin’ can still kill ya So do whatever thrills ya - like this line!! We're all gonna die, so why not live it up? Got an email a couple of days ago about sliding through the gates like Tom Cruise,with chocolates in one hand and champagne glass spilling over in the other, and squealing, wohoooo what a ride!!!!!!!!! This is just like that!!! Nice work Corey. Liana http://www.soundclick.com/pro/?BandID=203854
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Thanks Tricia. A swayback is one of those thin, droopy-backed horses. Another version of that line said 'stomped by an angry yak'... I'm having issues with finding a good 'ack' rhyme.
CP
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Thanks Ann, Lee Anna, Don and Liana. I appreciate you checking this out and thanks for the comments and suggestions.
Corey
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Ack is hard to rhyme. I keep thinking if I die I'll want to pack a few things in a to go sack. They say you can't take it with you, though. See ya. Lowe's awaits me. I've gotta go buy my husband a birthday present-a rolling trolley for shovels, hoes, etc and a new wheelbarrow. The beauty is those are things that I can use, too. ------------------ "Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." -- Les Brown http://www.soundclick.com/bands/8/triciabakermusic.htm
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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Joined: Aug 2003
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Hi Corey, this one flows better, reminds me of a joke i recently heard "health freaks don't live longer, it just looks that way"
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Hi Corey This is a pretty good treatment of a pretty tough subject. Don't know what kind of music you had in mind. Upbeat I would expect. I think this one might be tough to sell right now with Tim Mcgraws new one"Live Like You Were Dyin'" Good job on this one, tho. ------------------ www.soundclick.com/billrobinson Bill Live with a song in your heart
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HiDee CoreyGuy!
Pleasant Little Lyric...onliest Suggestion: "Make 'em AT LEAST remember your name" (K-O-S)
"KUDOS" fer a Fun One...with a tidge o' MAcabre..but that's the way Things Are these days.
Hurricane's a Howlin' outside as I type this...went over t'the Clock Shop..lotta branches down & 2 Street Light Globes flyin' around the Yard..but so far the Street Clock's head hasn't been blown off, which is my Major Dread this storm around.
Thrilled we still got Power On...it's REAL Windy & so far we haven't got a lotta rain...but more's expected as this baby Blows Past.
Got about 10-12 more Hours of it..then we'll celebrate a bit...hopefully.
BIG Zinfandel Hoist to ya, & Good Luck with this Baby! Big Guy-Hug, Stan
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Corey: Like the song cause it carries sucha chunk of the truth. Like words to live by. Like how it is positive even though the subject isn't so positive. Great job my friend. It sorta says whewe I'm at right now since I had aa accident bout three weeks ago. Drove this point home to me in a big way.
Good work...Paul
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Thanks Ritt, Bill, Stan and Paul. I think this is one you either like or don't for the most part... glad you all did . CP
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