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Joined: Jul 2001
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Wow, I can't believe I remembered my password!
Hey guys... I know I've all but disappeared from the face of JPF. Some of you know I've switched careers lately and the one I chose leaves very very little room for creativity, so I don't even know if I remember how to write. My dear dear friend, Unca Chuck (Athabaxtra) sent me some things to help light a spark and as I worked on it, this little thing came to me. Again, I'm not sure I remember how to do this and I'm real scared to be sharing again. It's almost as if I just began writing... but thank you for your comments in advance. (Unca Chuck, if you're watching, you may recognize some lines from our title track from the album)
my life in a minor key Cindy Miller, BMI © 2004
I never had an address Just a suitcase I called home The music in my soul Was all I ever owned
She was a drifting poet A direct line to my heart Her words fed my obsession And spoke through my guitar
CHORUS There was a song in her smile Melody in her touch Crescendo when we made love Our sweet refrain I miss so much Cause now the music’s over Just a haunting memory And the only song that’s playing Is my life in a minor key
VERSE Now I reach for memories Searching for the spark Wandering through the shadows She left inside my heart
Not a day goes by now I don’t long to hear The whisper of her breathing Dance inside my ear
CHORUS There was a song in her smile Melody in her touch Crescendo when we made love Our sweet refrain I miss so much Cause now the music’s over Just a haunting memory And the only song that’s playing Is my life in a minor key
BRIDGE I drove away the best thing My life, my soul, my muse With a dream I didn’t need Now I’m cursed to live the blues
CHORUS There was a song in her smile Melody in her touch Crescendo when we made love Our sweet refrain I miss so much Cause now the music’s over Just a haunting memory And the only song that’s playing Is my life in a minor key
[This message has been edited by TINK (edited 07-23-2004).]
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Cindy:
This is very good. Obviously, you have not lost your touch. Does this have music?
Joe
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Hi Joe and thanks. I was worried. And no, there's no music for this. I just finished writing it a little bit ago and actually I don't do music. Thanks again, Tink
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((((((( Tink)))))))
It's GREAT to see ya' back, I sure hope all is going well for ya'. You've still got it when it comes to writing your words and exspressing your thoughts! No Doubt. No nits from me, just a welcome back. kc
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Howdy Ms. Cindy!!! It's deja vu all over again... it's been almost 2 months since I've visited this board. How is it possible that you & I both dropped in on the same day after all this time??? Glad to see you fanning those sparks!! You haven't lost a step at all!! Beautiful!! And it's just great to see you again!!! Welcome back... Uncle Chuck ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/athabaxtra.htm http://www.chuckcrowe.com
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Joined: Feb 2001
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Cindy,
So very nice to see you on the board again.
Wow, this is great! I really liked the line
"Wandering through the shadows, she left inside my heart"
Now, that's true "Tink Writing". If the rest of us had even half yout talent, we'd be twice as good as most of the others.
So gald to see a post from you again. Also, in about three or four weeks I'll be sending you something in the snail mail for your review, along with a floppy disk of the same. You know what I'm talking about!
I'm taking off work for four or five days and going down to Hilton Head Island, S.C. at the end of the month. Our grandson is being christened. My daughter lives on "The Island".
As always, nothing but the warmest wishes,
Alan
------------------ When you talk, you say something you already know... If you listen, you might learn something new.
[This message has been edited by sideman66 (edited 07-22-2004).]
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So sweet of you kc! I really was nervous to post. I entered into the very clinical field of insurance and thought my muse was p*ssed off at me! I so appreciate your input and warm welcome back!! Tink
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Joined: Aug 2003
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Hi Tink and welcome back!
No, you haven't lost your touch. The only thing that confused me a bit was the 2nd line of V2. Assume you mean "with" a direct line to her heart?
Enjoyed the read...love the hook!
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Hey Uncle Chuck... must be Serendipity that we both ended up here today, huh? Sorry I haven't gotten back to you with Chunx, but when the muse struck, it finished this one. I'll try to get something for you on it, though. Sure glad you liked this one, my friend! Thanks again, so much! Tink
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Hidee {{{TINK}}}!
Wow, I've owed ya a "Good Luck with The New Career" email for Ages...(Sorry!!!)
You're Back..Stronger'n' Ever with this Good'n' Kiddo!
"KUDOS" & Good Luck with the Career & This Nice Job here--YAYYY!
Big {{{{Tink Hugz}}}} Stan
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(((((bsh))))) you're back Part of the "Not Ready For Premium Time Players" troupe are you now? That'll strangle the muse pretty tight. But she did come back washed, pressed and ready to wear
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Awwww Alan... you are the sweetest, aren't you?! Thanks so much. Your warm words have always encouraged me, both on and off the board. It's just like comin home. And I can't wait to get your package, Alan. I'm so excited about it. Even though we haven't "talked" lately, I still think about them alot! There's so much I want to know! Thank you again and I'm happy you picked out those lines... it's really where this lyric started. You're a lucky man to get to go to the coast, not to mention the island!! I'd be jealous, 'cept I know you deserve it. Have a GREAT time! Tink
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Hey Hey Tink Tink Great luck in your new venture, sometimes you will find, when most oppressed the muse will rise. Nice comeback piece here, cool hook, the only trouble point I see is in the bridge "with a dream i didn't need" seems a little squishi,.....unsupported.... ------------------ http://www.ampcast.com/music/26305/artist.php
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As good as thin feels fat is full good taste! He he......Just kiddinya.
Well, you didn't lose your touch my dear.
"Wandering through the shadows She left inside my heart"
"The whisper of her breathing Dance inside my ear"
I love those.
Like the hook too...
I know you need the memory line in the chorus to rhyme with the hook but it is a little cliched....But heck ya need something there. It's just in the next verse you refer to recall once again.....But hell it ain't no big deal Just say to yourself...."Aw Eric for Pete's sake will ya stop being such a nit picking ass!" That'll work...
Real good stuff!
Eric
If you're going to judge someone, do it on the side of mercy.
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Afternoon Songbird. And thank you for your welcome back! And yeh, I was trying to pare down the words in the lyric and left the word "with" out on purpose, maybe I actually do need it, though, huh? I sure appreciate your thoughts! Thanks, Tink
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Hi Tinkala..
Welcome back...
Onliest thing is the line "My life in minor key"
That phrase would never be said by anyone well versed in music. If you're going to use musical metaphors you need to use them the right way..
The wording would be my life in a minor key or more probably life in a minor key... The way you've got it it would be life in a minor mode.... This seems niggling...but..I think you need to address it. The a makes it sing better too.....
Minor keys generally denote sadness in western popular music so your concept is solid..
Good one kid
Bob
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Welcome back ((((Tink))))! You haven't lost a step. I have to really dig to find a nitpick: maybe a smidge too many musical references in the chorus. But that's it. This is good, and it's got a universal feel and theme, so it could work for many styles of music. Well done... and maybe the muse will stick around this time!
CP
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Evenin {{{STAN}}}!!! Don't go worryin about the email. Thing is, if you had sent one, you'd prob'ly still be waitin on a reply. I'm way behind on the things I really want to be doing. But... well, I'm sorta proud of myself for leaving my comfort zone and doing something completely different. And doing it well, I must say. I've taken the state examining tests in property, casualty, life AND health insurance and passed them ALL! But, well, it's sorta uninspiring. I keep reading the lyrics here and for a while it was just pissing me off because I was seeing such great stuff from all of you and I was stagnating big time. Turns out I was just dormant. I'm out now, for the moment. We'll see how long it lasts... vacation starts Saturday, so I hope it lasts at least that long! Thanks so much for the wonderful words!! {{{BIG HUGS}}}! Tink
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hi there john-john, my favorite lower case Canadian friend!! I missed you! And yeh, I went from accounting to insurance... big stretch, huh? Thank God I can release those demons on the nights and weekends. Good to see you and an extra S in this great big {{{BSH}}} Tink
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TINK!!! This is so weird! I'm never over here anymore, but this evening I decided to check in. And lo and behold, it's Cindy!! Gosh, I've missed you! Glad to see you writing again. You'll never lose your touch, so keep sharing.
Love you! Erica
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God to see you back Tink. Like it. I would think about , a direct line to MY heart. Make it her words him noise sort of thing. ADDING TO THAT ASPECT. Bloody caps lock. I saw a song in her smile. That begged a melody so much. That cressendoed when we made love. My heart sung, the rhyth of her touch. etc. Like it. Funny. I was just thinking of both you and Chuck the other day. Graham ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhendersonmusic.htm
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This IS strange! I rarely check in here either. Maybe once a month for five minutes, and popped in tonight (had to remember what my user name was!) and here's Tink AND Erica, and others. Cool to see you around these parts. I was wondering what you was up to. I like Bob's idea... "Life In A Minor Key". Good to see ya! And your muse is still working in true "dark" fashion! Curtis ------------------ Songs [This message has been edited by Curtis Cameron (edited 07-23-2004).]
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Hi Tink, Good to see your name again. Nice work. I agree with Bob on the ( A ). It's funny what one little letter could do. Have a great day ! Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewartmusic.htm
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Tink.....this is just lovely...... naah, you have not lost it......do not think that's possible.....you have the Gift.... best..... Kaley
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Hey there Sweet! I hope you're right about the muse, time will tell. And about the bridge, what I was trying to get across is that his dream for being a big time musician got in the way of his love for his muse. I didn't want to be too obvious, but maybe I didn't give enough, huh? Thanks for your input!! ****************************************** Awww, Eric, you guys are making me so happy reading these critiques. Thanks so much. And the lines you picked are also the ones that flowed most easily, I think those are usually the ones that turn out best. Thank you. And I never even realized the memory thing. Originally, I had verse one and two switched around, so it was further away from the chorus. Hopefully it's not too distracting. Thanks again! ******************************************** Well, Bob, I'm busted. I'm obviously not a musician, so I would have never gotten that. I guess it was more of just sorta a statement, like the title of a portrait, ya know..."My Life... In Minor Key". But putting that "a" in there is a simple fix and if you think that's the way to go, by God, I trust you! Thanks ever so much! And I love minor key... makes me think, deeper and harder... (hmmmm... that sounded sorta dirty, didn't it. ) thanks my Friend, from your first Bongette! Tinkala Z.
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HI COREY! I just can't get enough of these hugs!! I shore miss you guys! I guess the musical references in the choruses were there to solidify the hook, but I hope they aren't too distracting. You know, I can't help it, but whenever I hear the song, "Save a horse, ride a cowboy", I think of you, why is that do you spose? And thanks for the kind words and I really hope my muse will stay... thanks! ****************************************** Ahhh Erica, girl! I miss you so much. I have been reminiscing over photos from our Nashville trip and it makes me sad to think I haven't seen you since! Thank you so much for the nice things you said, and it IS a coinkidink that we're here, Uncle Chuck is here, AND Curtis! What are the odds? Thanks again and I love ya, too! Tink p.s. congrats on the nomination!!
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Hi Cindy, Great to see your work after so long away V-2 is Awwwwsome Come to think of it, all you work is Awwwwsome Welcome back Bill ------------------ Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.
Drop by and listen to.. My Music ..when you have a chance.
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Hey Sistah! I was just checking in. I got my email about the lyric nominees and thought I would see if there was a thread about it and here you are! I've done a little writing lately but not sure they are ready to post yet. I'm scared too. It's been so long. As always, very nice. You havent lost your touch. The chorus was beautiful. I can feelt he loneliness. It's strange, I wrote a lyric two weeks ago similar from the woman's perspective. Guess I was thinking of Tommy. He's MIA right now. here's part of it, it's not quite finished yet, I still have another verse to complete. I used to watch him strum his guitar Wish it were me he was caressing I never told him how I felt Cause I was no good at confessing Now I would tell him How much I miss him But he’s in parts unknown I feel so alone So alone When he’s in parts unknown Take Care sistah, shoot me an email sometime. I miss you! Kiss the kids for me and tell Cass someone asked me the other day who gave me the necklace and I told them "A very special friend" Ria ------------------ Ria's Song Lyrics
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This is so nice, Tink. Hopefully, one day I'll get to meet you.
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
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I really like this one... the title is very nice. You didn't seem to forget too much about writing songs.
------------------ Rockito Ergo Sum
Rockito Ergo Sum
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I really hate to drag this one back, but since there were many I haven't thanked yet, I felt it was the right thing to do. I am going to do the group thanks, so as not to go on and on, so thank you all, so much. I really appreciate all the kind words. Ria, I miss you so much. I like your lyric, you shouldn't be afraid of posting at all! Thanks again folks! Tink
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"If one man can do it, any man can do it. It is true. But the real question is, if one man did it, are you willing to do what it takes to do it as well?" –Brian Austin Whitney
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