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Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,899
Top 100 Poster
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OP
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hi gang..... see what y'all think about this one.... scotty Bellied Up To Should Have Been I was putting on quite the show Tripping all over my ego Figure, you only go around once Give the ladies what they want Damn sure full of myself And the whiskey didn’t help Bartender saw right through me How long ago did she leave? (Chorus) Cause you ain’t the first fool Who’s pulled up that same stool Drinkin’ instead of thinkin’ Bellied up to should have been I said ain’t you the funny guy Ain’t no hurt in these eyes No woman can get the best of me No sir I’m not easy Shook his head and wiped the bar Said I can’t be off too far I pick up on the little things Like you still wearing that ring (Chorus) And.. you ain’t the first fool Who’s pulled up that same stool Drinkin’ instead of thinkin’ Bellied up to should have been (Bridge) Well, I never thought I’d take advice From a guy pourin’ Beam on ice He said it’s whiskey if it’s just a shot Fine Bourbon if you add the rocks (Final Chorus) Now me and the wife have our own little place And in walks a familiar face…. I shake my head and wipe the bar…. Another fool pullin’ up a stool Drinkin’ instead of thinkin’ bellied up to should have been Yeah drinkin’ instead of thinkin’, bellied up to should have been © 2004 richard scott
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 268
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 268 |
I really like this one, except the bartender didn't really give him any advice. Just seems to have called him on his bluff! PS. Can anyone tell me what symbols to use to make a different smiley face, and also, what does BTW mean? ------------------ Keeping the faith, Jen
Keeping the faith,
Jen
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Hey Scotty,
This is well done. I'm not sure that the second half of the bridge brings anything to the party, and you don't need it for a rhyme. Also the last chorus is pretty different in structure than the others-might not work with your music. Good write.
Bill
------------------ We too often throw the word "great" around like it was a frisbee, instead of the manhole cover it should be
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 4,199
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Jen,
When you post a reply, click on "smiles legend" off to the left. BTW is By The Way, btw
Bill
------------------ We too often throw the word "great" around like it was a frisbee, instead of the manhole cover it should be
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,529
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,529 |
Hi Scotty,
What a terrific hook! First few verses read well and the chorus too.
As Jen mentioned, I didn't see any advice from the bartender either so you might want to tweak the bridge.
Also, I don't understand the first two lines of the last chorus.
Keep working this!
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Joined: Jan 2003
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hi gang.... thanks for the read. yeah, the advice is pretty weak, i meant that whiskey plus ice = fine stuff... like getting back with the wife. i'm trying my best not to make this a copy of "the good stuff" type song. the final chorus is saying that he DID get back with her and they opened their own bar, now he's the one giving advice. the familiar face is him a long time ago. jeeeeez, if i'm having to explain the song, it ain't working huh??? lol i'll try to fix all this stuff!! scotty [This message has been edited by bayoufantasy2 (edited 06-12-2004).] [This message has been edited by bayoufantasy2 (edited 06-12-2004).]
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 164
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 164 |
Hey Scotty,
I think all the issues have been addressed here. So there's not really much I can add. There is one thing though L2 in V1 didn't seem to flow as smoothly as the rest of the verses, seems like somethings missing. Could just be the way I'm reading it. I did enjoy it great job.
Selina
ps. thanks for the email I'll give that a try next time I post something. Always wondered how you guys did that.
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