8 members (Bill Draper, Gary E. Andrews, Fdemetrio, Perry Neal Crawford, Guy E. Trepanier, couchgrouch, Sunset Poet, 1 invisible),
860
guests, and
230
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mutlu
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/15/24 07:08 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
I Killed an Angel © 2004 dawg, BMI
The war was drawing to a close; our men were badly beat. With a minnie ball in my left leg, I was propped against a tree.
A sweet, young girl in calico brought water when she could. I prayed she'd make it over here; fresh water would taste good.
The ladle was cool to the touch; as she offered it to me. I layed my rifle on the ground, and the gun fired suddenly.
(Chorus) I killed an angel; I caused her death. Oh why did she have to die. My rifle fired when I layed it down and here the young angel lies.
I held her close throughout the night; then they took me away. Doctor tells me I'll walk again, but she'll no longer play.
The innocence of just twelve years. I never learned her name. Her life snuffed out like a candle, and I bear all the blame.
(Chorus) I killed an angel; I caused her death. Oh why did she have to die. My rifle fired when I layed it down and here the young angel lies.
(Bridge) I trust she's in heaven, safe in Jesus' arms. without the slightest threat of guns or war. The good Lord knows, I never meant her harm and she'll be in my prayers forever more.
(Chorus) I killed an angel; I caused her death. Oh why did she have to die. My rifle fired when I layed it down and here the young angel lies.
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,332
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 1,332 |
Hey Dawg, I really like this. Well told. One issue that might come up with it, though. The "minnie ball" is bound to throw some people off, I would think. It's the only thing in the lyric, other than "calico" perhaps that gives any true hint of the time period this is set in. Problem with that, I'm thinking, is that a large majority of people probably don't know what a minnie ball is. If that's the case, then it might as well say bullet or something else. Just a thought. It just ocurred to me...is the title a twist on the book title, "Killer Angels"? Very good writing on this, at any rate. Randy ------------------ http://www.songramp.com/homepage.ez?Who=RandyB
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275 |
War is Sho-Nuff Hell, Amigo...
The Hand-wringin' Side of me says "A Wonnaful Weaper of a Song"...
The Skeptic Side says "THIS Idiot should be Courtmarshalled for not handlin' his Weaponry Carefully-Enough for this Incident Not-to-have-Happened."
The "Is-This-Commercially-Viable" Critic's Side says Maybe. Sure makes a Good Point.
(Proofreader Side sez it's "Laid" insteada "Layed", heh!)
Good Luck with a Good'n', Amigo. "3 Hankeys" & a "KUDOS" a-headin' your way.
Big Guy-Hug, Stan
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,002 Likes: 2
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,002 Likes: 2 |
Dawg, you are a good writer. Exceptional. Only to help you because you've helped me, I'll say this. I think this song has zero chance. First, you can't kill an angel with a gun. Second, to me, it just has zero possibility of acceptance. Then again, what do I know. That's just my opinion. Good luck if you pursue it. I was wrong last week.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 621
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 621 |
Hello Dawg.
This was heart renching and took me by surprise. Great Job!
Douglas
------------------ "You can do what ever you want to do where ever you want to go. It's up to you." John Denver
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Mornin' Randy,
and thank you.
This is a true story that took place just after the battle around Comumbia, Tn.
You could be correct about the minnie ball, but no one has indicated they didn't know what it was yet.
In previous versions, there were more hints as to the time period, "hair in ringlets" etc. but they disappeared in rewrites.
Happy to say Paul Pedersen is doing the music on this one and I am struggling with a final verse.
Thanks for the read and suggestions.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Mornin' Big Guy,
While the weapons during the War of Northern Aggression surely killed a lot of folks they were aimed at, the precison tooling and mass production did not meet current standards. He did not drop his rifle, he "laid" it down, and it discharged.
I sure am gettin' dizzy trying to keep up with all your sides.<g>
Thanks for the read and response.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,002 Likes: 2
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 2,002 Likes: 2 |
Oops, my bad, I thought you were saying you killed an angel. Like an angel with wings. Sorry. Still, I dunno. Good luck.
BTW, someone else might think the same thing I thought, so...
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Hell Duke,
I've been wrong so many times I long ago stopped keeping track.<g>
It really may not work, but I have a lot of confidence in Paulie's ability to overcome my lyrical shortcomings with his musical genius.
Thanks for the visit and comments. Both are appreciated.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,529
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 1,529 |
Hi Dawg,
I didn't know what a "minnie ball" was but it certainly gave me a clue as to time frame. "Calico" dress reinforced it.
The title got my attention immediately and I think it's a winner!
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Hello Douglas,
and thank you.
There really weren't any intentional surprises, though. You know, I didn't set out to put a twist in there.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Hello Ann,
and thank you. I guess I write as if everyone were as fond of history as I am, and I realize they are not. Of couse, history to some is still current events to me.<g>
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 890
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 890 |
Hey Dawg,
Loved the premise of this one. Heartwrenching tale to say the least. I get putting the minnie ball line in for a historical reference point but wasn't really that fond of it. Besides that though a great job all around.
Later, Kevin
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,172
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,172 |
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,172
Top 200 Poster
|
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,172 |
Greydog, OOPS!
I like the song. I don't care for the title though. Sounds like it should go with a movie soundtrack.
Kathy
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690 |
Hi Dawg ending idea????? The innocence of just twelve years. I never learned her name. Her life snuffed out like a candle, and I bear all the blame. that her flame burned out, all too soon they say for all things a reason for every pitched fork, a silver spoon still a hearts treason, is never in season (Chorus) I killed an angel; I caused her death. Oh why did she have to die. My rifle fired when I layed it down and here the young angel lies ------------------ http://www.ampcast.com/music/26305/artist.php
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Evenin' Kevin,
and thank you.
Since this is a true story, there must be some reference to the time period which generic terms like bullet, round, or shrapmen would not provide.
Thanks for the read and the kind words.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 7,357
Top 20 Poster
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 7,357 |
I like the story and the emotion of this one... though 'm not crazy about the title line and some of the lines seem a little forced. This could work for a haunting bluegrass or folk tune along the lines of "Long Black Veil"... this would also be very appropriate for a movie soundtrack, as Kathy mentioned. Best of luck with it.
CP
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Evenin' Kathy,
and thank you.
Hey, I have no objections to anyone using it for a soundtrack, nor, I believe, would Paulie.<g>
Sorry the title doesn't work for you.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Evenin' Joyce,
and thank you. We do already have another ending in the works (which I sent to Paulie this afternoon to look over).
Thanks for taking the time to read and for the suggestions. Both are appreciated.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690 |
Dawg i don't need thanks, i need new and exiting ways to prepare chicken!!! ------------------ http://www.ampcast.com/music/26305/artist.php
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Well Corey,
since "Long Black Veil" seems to be the consensus "most prosodious" song of all time according to the thread on the songwriter board, that puts this in pretty good company ... even before you hear it with music.<g>
We surely would not object to any soundtrack treatment.
The title may change, but that would again reaquire some rewriting ... and you know how prone to procastinate I am at that.
Thanks for the read and the kind words.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
LOL Joyce,
"Exiting" ways to prepare chicken ... you mean like "Around the Corner Cornish Hens" or "Pullman Coach Pullets" or "Backdoor Barbequed Bird". <g>
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 10,690 |
LOL, I don't need to know the chicken's sexual inclination, just new and exciting ways to cook the damn bird; LOL ------------------ http://www.ampcast.com/music/26305/artist.php
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 13,618
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 13,618 |
I was right into the time frame without actually knowing what a minnie ball was, so don't se that as a problem i this nice little tale Dawg. I see you state it to be founded on a true story, and my one ask there is. If the rifle was layed on the ground, how could it deliver a mortal wound? Leaned up against a tree, I can see easily, but picturing the girl standing as she handed the drink to the soldier, I fail to see how a rifle laying on the ground could do death dealing damage. That is the bit I would be looking at. Graham ------------------ http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhendersonmusic.htm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Ok Joyce,
Send me an email and tell me how you buy chicken. Do you want recipes for whole roasters, quartered baking hens or boneless, skinless breasts. I will do my best to help.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Well Graham, ol' Cobber,
This story comes to me from the last man wounded in the American Civil War, (known locally, and correctly as "the War of Northern Aggrression"). A few years age, he saw a police car driving down a hill weaving from side to side rather erratically. Rolling in front of the cruiser was what he thought was an "Osage Orange" or "Ground Orange" as the fruit is sometimes called. He put his foot out to stop it. It was a cannon ball from the War of Northern Aggression and it broke his foot and ankle in six places.
He stated the soldier "laid" his gun down, he did not drop it. The barrel must have been inclined upward for it shot her in the chest.
Hope this helps.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 130
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 130 |
Dawg,
I feel the song is diminished without the use of minnie ball.
--CC
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,116
Top 100 Poster
|
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 2,116 |
I do like these story songs of yours, Dawg! Touching story ... would love to hear this one once you and Paul have it finished!! ------------------ Mary Lou http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/mlsudkampmusic.htm
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Not to worry, cc,
the minnie ball is still in his leg.<g>
Thanks for the read and response.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Hi Mary Lou,
and thank you.
It is always such a pleasure when you visit. I'da thunk this one would be well down the page by now.
I'll try to post it up when it is done.
Thanks for the read and the kind words.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8,318
Top 20 Poster
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8,318 |
Oh, Dawg, you're going to make me cry today. Stop it! This is so sweet. I hear this as bluegrass. Do you?
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Hi Tricia,
I wrote it as hill country, high-harmony bluegrass, but the important thing will be how Paulie hears it.<g>
Thanks for the read and the kind words.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8,318
Top 20 Poster
|
Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 8,318 |
He's sooooooo perfect for it. Let me know when you get it noised! This one's gonna be good for sure.
"Grits is one of those country-boy words that is both singular and plural-like deer, elk and sheep. I think the singular is appropriate when there's a modifier that makes it clear one is talking about something specific. Like, 'Grits are good for you, but these here grits is tasty.'"~~Joe Wrabek
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 530
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 530 |
Super, Dawg! I'd think that this would be a song that would likely find a quick place in these times of war! And you could say something about when he laid down his rifle it discharged.....and if I remember right those "muskets" had pretty hard kicks to them, so it being a small girl(angel) it wouldn't be unbelievable for the rifle's discharge to lift the gun up enough to hit her in a life giving part of her body! Reason I say this is my grandfather was walking through the woods with his brother and some cousins when he was about 18....the young men were squirrel hunting...they always used their double barrel shotgun to "pellet" the squirrel as to "tear" him to smithereens...anyway my grandfather used the distal end of the gun's barrel to hold the wire down so he could step across the fence....it mistakenly misfired and hit him above the ankle and that was the foot on top of the wire about 12 inches above the ground....so it's possible..... Good song, sad song and hearing about one of the US soldiers trying to rescue some of the bombed out places, most done by the insurgents....he was seen carrying out this preteen girl and tears rolling down his face....why? He said it was horrible enough to know that child was killed, but to have had half her face blown away was more then he could take........so this might help those soldiers think about the little ones who've been caught in the battle....that they were all little angels and they'd served their time on earth! Anyway, best of wishes on this song and the title is what pulled me in, BTW! ------------------ http://www.songramp.com/homepage.ez?Who=Sharon
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Will do Trisha,
but you may have to be a little patient. He has a lot on his plate at the moment.<g>
Thank you,
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Evenin' Sharon,
and thank you. Funny thing is, rifles began seeing use in the American Revolution, 85 years earlier and at the begining of the war of northern aggression, everybody wanted a rifle, which would carry over a much greater distance with vastly improved accuracy. However as the war was drawing to a close and rifle ammunition became scarce, the fact that a musket would fire anything, so long as you had powder, made it more popular, particularly with the troops in the south in Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee.
Thanks for taking the time to read and for the very kind words.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 13
Casual Observer
|
Casual Observer
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 13 |
I read your Brutus tune, and had to find more that you wrote. I love your style. This one had me in tears. So far, I have no problem with any line in it. I knew exactly what time frame you were referring to. Excellent writing. And you COOK TOO???? LOL, I am MORE than impressed! LOL
Blessings, VonAngel
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 130
Serious Contributor
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 130 |
dawg,
Speaking of guns and the South I imagine you have read Harry Turtledove's novel "The Guns of the South."
On the off chance you haven't you might enjoy it. The premise is that some people come from the future and equip them with AK-47's which enables the South to repel the North and leads them to victory.
--CC
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389
Top 100 Poster
|
OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 8,389 |
Thank you Yvonne,
Fortunately, I cook better than I write, and get paid accordingly. <g>
Thank you for the read and the kind words.
dawg
Hello CC,
No, I missed that one. I am not sure semi-automatic weapons would have made a difference. The last six months of the war, Lincoln was still conscripting at the rate of 75,000 men per month and the south was only able to muster about 4,000 per month. We just flat ran out of people and resources.
Thanks for the read and for sharing.
dawg
Wisdom does not always accompany age. Sometimes age just shows up alone.
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
Forums117
Topics125,754
Posts1,161,307
Members21,470
|
Most Online37,523 Jan 25th, 2020
|
|
"When will we all, as artists, creators and facilitators learn that the so-called experts in our lives are nothing more than someone who has stepped forward and called themselves an expert?" –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|